Defiant (Battle Born Book 13)
Page 12
“I could ask the same question of you,” Lenore returned. “In later generations the American Indians went to war against the ‘armed invasion force’. They were determined to regain control of their land and drive the enemy back across the ocean. But the U.S. Military had every advantage. They had greater numbers and more sophisticated weapons. Ultimately the Indian resistance resulted in their near extinction. I in no way condone those events, but I’d rather not repeat them.”
“So we do nothing? We invite them in and give them everything they want, hoping they’ll eventually leave?” Thea shook her head and glanced out the window. “That’s cowardly, and our dead deserve better.”
Ah, the real reason behind her defiance. “You do realize it was not a battle born ship that destroyed L.A., don’t you? Solar Warden, a group of human rebels, picked a fight with a battle born ship, and lost control during the battle. Solar Warden started the fight, and Solar Warden—”
“Solar Warden was defending their world against alien invaders.” Though vehement, Thea managed to keep her tone low. “The battle born came to Earth without our permission and demanded our natural resources and our females. The members of Solar Warden are fallen heroes and they deserve our respect.”
“There is truth in what you say,” Lenore allowed. “There is also naïveté. Solar Warden might have started out as honorable defenders, but they had long since lost their way. The man—or more like boy—commanding the ship that killed your loved ones was on a joyride in an alien spaceship. He and his crew were unfamiliar with the technology and had no business taking the ship through basic maneuvers, much less attempting the complex navigation required for combat. Human pride and foolishness resulted in the L.A. tragedy. That is the horrible truth.”
A crack formed in Thea’s composure. Her lips trembled and tears gathered behind her long lashes. She stared into space, clearly battling her emotions. Several tears escaped with the blink of her eyes, but she didn’t make a sound. “Please, let me out.” Her voice was tight as a bowstring.
Lenore had seen this sort of emotional storm, had experienced it firsthand and with a tempestuous daughter. “Keep driving, Jason. Thea should not be alone right now.”
“Let. Me. Out!” Her entire body was shaking now, and the look in her eyes grew wild.
Lenore knew better than to touch her, or push any harder. Thea would either win the battle with her emotions and live with her pain a while longer, or the dam would finally break and set her free. If the latter happened, she’d need support and understanding, even if it came from a stranger. “Who did you lose that horrible day?” Silence was the wiser course, but Lenore had never been good at keeping her mouth shut.
“Everyone.” Thea forced the word out between clenched teeth and more tears fell. “Damn you.” A harsh sob tore from her throat and she collapsed against the window, turned away from her tormentor. “I lost everyone and everything! For three weeks I did nothing but go to funerals, one right after another. They took my husband, my children, my mother and sister. They destroyed my future, literally leveled my life. I couldn’t even bury them just empty coffins, and you want me to forgive?”
Lenore lightly touched her trembling shoulder. Thea slapped at her, but the attempt was limp and shaky. Lenore slowly guided the sobbing woman into a maternal hug. She stroked her tangled hair and noted that she smelled cleaner than she looked. Apparently the dirt was part of a disguise meant to garner sympathy. Clever girl.
Jason announced their arrival, but didn’t kill the engine. Foster looked back at her, question clear in his sharp gaze.
Lenore shook her head and mouthed the words, Let her cry.
And Thea cried, she cursed, and yelled, and then sobbed again in silence.
Once her emotions had finally run their course, she raised her head and looked at Lenore. “What am I supposed to do now? They’ll kill me if they sense that I’ve lost my calling.”
Lost her calling? What an odd way to put it.
“I think they already took steps to ensure I stay focused on this mission.” For the first time, Lenore saw fear rather than defiance in Thea’s eyes.
“What steps? What have they done?”
Thea started to explain, then shook her head. “It’s probably nothing. But they will come after me if this mission fails.”
“I think your mission has come full circle,” Lenore said. “You need to speak with my daughter. She has a unique perspective on the battle born. If she explains what she’s learned and what she is hoping to accomplish, perhaps that will give you a clearer picture of where you want to go.”
Thea shook her head again, obviously wary, yet spirit gradually returned to her expressive eyes. “I’m supposed to recruit your daughter. You make it sound like she’ll recruit me.”
Lenore allowed herself to smile, hoping it didn’t appear smug. “My daughter is a remarkable woman. All I’m asking is that you hear her out, learn what Earth is really up against, and what we stand to gain, before you decide where you want to channel your energy.”
“I asked the same of you and you agreed. I suppose this is no more than fair.” Something dark and deeply sad flickered back to life within her gaze. She looked so desolate, so alone. It made Lenore’s heart ache.
Lenore sighed. She should have realized it would take more than one good cry to heal a heart this ravaged. “Jason dear, run in and tell the ladies I’m not feeling well. My plans for the day have changed.” She looked at Thea with cautious optimism. “I need to spend some time with my new friend.”
* * * * *
A warm hand touched Jenna’s shoulder and carefully shook her awake. “Dr. Fermont. He’s asking for you.”
Jenna blinked away sleep’s muddle and opened her eyes. Lily Fontenot leaned over her with a cautious smile. If she’d been up all night searching for answers, how could she look so serene?
Sometime during the night someone had covered Jenna with a blanket. She suspected it was the work of the kind doctor as well. “Okay, I’m awake now. Is Drex doing better?”
“Much. The treatment appears to be successful.” Lily stepped back from the row of chairs and motioned toward the clinic. “He’d really like to see you.”
Jenna smoothed down her hair and checked to make sure her dress wasn’t horribly wrinkled. It was, but she needed to see him too badly to waste any more time. The tenderness and concern swelling within her were terrifying. When and how had he become so damn important to her?
Forcing the conflict aside, she followed Lily into the clinic. The treatment areas were curtained off just like in a human ER. The elevated tables were arranged in a circle around a central control hub, where the medical personnel gathered when they weren’t with the patients. Lily led her to one of the treatment areas and pulled back the curtain so Jenna could enter. She stepped into the enclosure and Lily closed the curtain, giving them at least the illusion of privacy.
Drex sat up in bed, looking tired yet alert and ridiculously handsome for someone who had been completely unresponsive the night before. “My goal was to make you faint, not knock myself out,” he whispered with a wicked smile.
She blushed hotly, but returned his smile. “I didn’t realize you were so delicate,” she returned playfully and he laughed. She moved closer, needing to touch him, but not sure she had the right. Not unless she was willing to move forward with their relationship. “Do they know why this happened?” Her throat tensed and her mouth dried up, making it hard to speak. “Did I do this to you?”
He reached for her hand and pulled her even closer, his dark gaze intensely serious. “An overly ambitious geneticist did this to me. It was not your fault.”
“But it was my DNA that triggered the…problem.”
“I’m fine, love. And Dr. Mintell is ecstatic over this opportunity. Ever since the transformation program began, his biggest concern has been complications in and with the offspring. We are like having test subjects from then next generation, only we’re available now.”
r /> “The last thing either of us wants to be is a test subject.” She licked her lips, wanting more than anything to climb into the bed and snuggle against his side.
“We’ll all understand if you want nothing to do with this, but studying our genetics could provide invaluable insights into the next generation. The transformation program will by its nature create a generation of human/Rodyte/Bilarrian hybrids. That combination alone is extremely hard to find. Add to that my enhanced abilities, which are the result of genetic manipulation. We are a roadmap for future generations. What happened to me last night could happen to other hybrids, and the doctors already know how to treat the reaction. Everything they learn from us, could save a child, or many children in the not too distant future.”
“But.” She looked away from his handsome face, unable to think clearly when she stared into his eyes. “I saw your past. I know how you suffered. How can you even consider putting yourself through that again?”
He interlaced their fingers and gave her hand a careful squeeze. He didn’t speak again until she looked at him. “Don’t you see? I’ve spent my entire life on the outside looking in. My father made me a freak, ignored and rejected by everyone. To the elite, I was tainted, unworthy. But to the battle born, I was elite. I was alone, and filled with resentment and rage.” His voice grew soft, his eyes suddenly tear bright. “Then I saw you.”
She shook her head. She didn’t want that sort of responsibility. She couldn’t be anyone’s savior.
But he wasn’t finished. He blinked away the unshed tears and his expression grew resolute. “I’ve never felt truly connected to anyone and there is no way I’m going to let that slip away. I’ve tried very hard not to pressure you, but I can’t live without you. I won’t.”
With a hollow laugh, she dragged her hand way from his. “Yeah, no pressure there.”
“All right. Let’s table that subject until later. Let me see if I can make you understand why I agreed to let Dr. Mintell and Dr. Lily run whatever tests they need to run on me.”
It was a postponement not surrender, but she was happy for the delay. “All right. Explain.”
“As you’re well aware, I resent my father for his obsession with my abilities. I was basically forced to endure what the battle born are volunteering to undergo. Except Dr. Mintell found a much more pleasurable delivery mechanism than what was used on me.”
“Delivery mechanism? Is that all human females are to you?” She was grasping at straws, searching for some spark of indignation she could use to push him away. Love smoldered in his dark gaze and it terrified her. She wasn’t ready to face the fact that Drex was desperately in love with her, and even less prepared to analyze her feelings for him. Was she doomed to repeat the past, endure crushing heartbreak just like her mother?
“I think you know better than that.”
The comment confused her. For a second she thought he answered her mental question rather than her verbal charge. Delivery mechanism. That was what he’d meant. She knew damn well that human females were far more important to the battle born than the means by which their powers were unleashed.
When she didn’t reply, he went on. “This isn’t about us, it’s about me.” He took a deep breath and scooted farther up on the bed, sitting forward as he explained. “Having access to my abilities made me an oddity and I hated my father for disregarding every protest and every scream. But this opportunity could take the worst thing that ever happened to me and give it purpose, meaning. I’ll take control of an area of my life that left me feeling weak and victimized. I need to do this if I ever hope to let go of my past.”
It was a common strategy. Victims of violent crimes often went on to become victim advocates and motivational speakers. “Then you should do it, but I’m not sure I feel the same.”
“I understand, and as with everything I’ve proposed, the choice is yours.” He paused as if to make sure she absorbed the importance of the statement. “I’ll point out one more thing, and then I’ll never bring it up again.”
She sighed. Her control was so tenuous right now, she wasn’t sure she could absorb one more thing. “I’m listening.”
“When we bond—and I’m still desperately hoping it is when, not if—there is much to be learned from the physiological changes our bodies will undergo. I’ve already agreed to the testing, but that will only give them half of the picture. They really need us both.”
Seeing an opportunity to turn his words back on him, Jenna didn’t hesitate. “Then its best if we don’t bond. I don’t want to leave them hanging with only half the picture.”
He narrowed his gaze for a moment, then broke out in a beaming smile. “That’s more like my feisty Jenna. Gods, how I love that fire.”
She ran her hands through her hair and cringed at the snarls she found. “I really need a shower. How much longer do you have to stay here?”
He tossed back the sheet and swung his long legs over the side of the treatment table. The device responded to his new position and slowly lowered until his feet touched the floor. “I’m free to go, for now. Let’s go back to my cabin and shower together. I have so much I need to tell you.”
She laughed. “And this conversation is best had in a shower?”
His gaze turned dark and sensual. “I want to tell you what I saw in your vision, but I’m going to die if I can’t touch you soon. Very soon.”
“Well, I don’t want you to die. I guess we’ll share a shower.”
Chapter Seven
Warm water cascaded down Drex’s body, soothing his tense muscles if not his restless soul. They’d washed each other’s hair and slowly explored each other’s bodies with soapy hands and eager gazes. But as soon as he tried to kiss Jenna, she’d turned away. The transfer link had allowed him to sense her emotions. He knew she cared about him, was starting to fall in love with him. So why was she still resisting? They were naked, in each other’s arms, and still she felt worlds away.
“Talk to me, love,” he whispered against her wet hair. “Why are you still so distant?”
“Distant?” She laughed. “We’re touching from chests to knees. We can’t get much closer.”
He took her face between his hands and tilted her head back, guiding her gaze to his. “What are you so afraid of?” She tried to avert her eyes, but he wouldn’t allow the retreat. “Talk to me.”
With obvious reluctance, she looked deep into his eyes. “My mother and I are really close. We talk about everything. She was so happy, in the beginning, thought she’d won the emotional lottery. But I know how this ends.”
“I’m not your father. I will not force you to do anything. But, if you choose me as your mate, I will never leave you.”
“He said that too.” Her voice grew stronger and conviction burned in her gaze. “He swore he loved her, even promised to live in her world if that’s what she really wanted.”
“I’m not your father,” he stressed. She didn’t respond, so he said, “You clearly won’t believe what I say, so what can I do to prove that I’m different?”
She started to say something then shook her head and stubbornly lowered her face.
“Say it. What do you need from me?”
She glanced at him, then away. “I need you to give me time. I want to be with you, make love with you, but I’m not ready for you to claim me.”
He sighed. A physical joining would be amazing, but he wanted so much more for them. “You’ve been in my mind, Jenna. How can you doubt that I love you?”
“This isn’t about love.”
Then why—realization stabbed into his heart, the pain sharp and sudden. “You don’t trust me.”
“It’s not you. It’s me. No, it’s my mother. I’ve been taught from childhood that Rodyte males lie, that they manipulate and ultimately destroy lives. It’s not fair and it’s not your fault, but I can’t wish it away.” A sob tore loose deep inside her and tears gathered in her eyes. “I want to trust you. I want to love you, but…I’m afraid.”
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The last admission sounded raw and honest. Drex responded instinctively. His mate was in pain. He would do whatever it took to help her heal, to bring her peace. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pushed his other hand into her hair. Keeping his first kiss firm yet gentle, he soothed her, calmed her.
“Whatever you need, my love. I’ll give it to you. We’ll go as slowly as you want. You have nothing to fear from me.”
She wrapped her arms around his back and returned his kiss with desperate longing. Their transfer link came alive, rippling with emotions, hunger and fear, determination and tenderness. Endless combinations of poignant feelings and aching need. It gave him hope, and reinforced his determination.
He picked her up and carried her from the shower, unconcerned with their damp bodies and soggy hair. If a physical joining was all she’d allow, he’d restrain his other needs—somehow.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he arranged her astride his lap. Their mouths never stopped sharing as their hands explored. Her contours were familiar now yet no less thrilling. He stroked her back and butt, drawing her closer, needing her heat surrounding his aching cock.
She moaned as her mound pressed against his hardness and her hips began to roll, dragging her sex over his erection, fueling the raging inferno. He grabbed her hips with both hands and stopped her teasing motion. “Not yet.” The directive sounded harsh, more growl than plea.
He lay back across the bed and pulled her forward. She gasped and tightened her legs, but it did no good. He easily maneuvered her knees over his arms and positioned her directly over his face.
“Oh God,” she whispered, her tone breathless and trembling. She reached back and steadied herself against his chest as he slowly slid her knees outward, lowering her pelvis until her silken folds touched his lips.
Pausing, he inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with her scent. Mate, his spirit cried, then, mine! He hadn’t meant to share the thought, but she whimpered. It didn’t matter. They were beyond pretense or denials. Resolve surged up through him, burning away everything but his love for her.