Loving Her

by Hutton, CM

  “Thanks, Sasha. Just set them on my table over there.” I pointed to my large round table that held several stacks of proposals.

  Sasha quickly left and I was faced with crossing the room to read the card. I stood and made my way to the beautiful flowers and plucked the card out.

  I’m sorry. Forgive me.

  Dinner without drama?

  Please?

  RD

  Well, crap. How could I say no? He was just the messenger, after all and he probably felt like a total jerk. At least it was more than what I’d heard from Jack. He hadn’t even tried to contact me since late last night. What could a drama-free meal hurt? I wasn’t sure what Rylan’s game was, but I felt like I needed to give him the chance to apologize properly. The whole mess seemed to be eating at him and I was curious as hell about what made the man tick.

  After staring at the card for several long minutes, I picked up the phone, but quickly realized I didn’t know his number. I did a quick Google search for Redman, Daniels & Smith to locate Rylan’s direct office number. I hesitated for a few seconds before I called.

  “This is Ryland Daniels. I’m away from my desk at the moment. Please leave a detailed message and I will get back to you as soon as I can.” Voicemail.

  I had to at least leave a message thanking him for the flowers. Beep….. “Um, hi….yeah….uh, Rylan, this is Jen. I just wanted to thank you for the beautiful flowers. You really didn’t have to do that, but thank you anyway.” I paused. “I guess this call comes a little late for dinner. You obviously left the office already. But, I just wanted to say….dinner would have been nice.” I hung up and sank down in my chair. I felt really weird too, almost sad or something, that I hadn’t at least talked to him.

  I needed to go out and just forget about the whole mess with Jack and Rylan.

  I went through the rest of the week not hearing from Jack or Rylan. I thought it was really strange that I hadn’t heard back from Rylan since he seemed hell-bent on chatting it up with me at the beginning of the week. I almost called his office again just to ask him what his fucking game was all about….I mean, the flowers, the apology, the dinner invitation and then nothing.

  By Thursday afternoon, I knew I needed a night out with my friends. Dancing and drinks with my girls would be just the right medicine to forget the crazy men that had been plaguing my mind.

  I popped up out of my chair and started calling my girlfriends….starting with Em. After multiple calls and lots of planning, we were headed out for a night on the town on a glorious Friday evening.

  “Oh my God, you look amazing, Jen! What has gotten into you, girl?” Emily was half drunk, I think, when she arrived to pick me up. Cale was our driver for the evening, having given in to our request for going out only if he could drive us to the club and pick us up when we were ‘good and drunk’ as he put it.

  “Um, have you already been hitting the sauce, sister? You seem a little too cheery.” We both started laughing and nearly fell down hanging all over each other. I needed that laugh so much. My whole week had been such crap. I needed to re-center and just start fresh. Our night would do just that and I was grateful.

  “Okay you two….let’s get you going.” Cale…he was just the best!

  “Yeah, let’s get going, Jen! Geez…” Emily was a hoot!

  We headed downtown off Fifth to The Tipsy Crow. I’d found out a great local band was playing there in The Underground level of the club. I loved how they had three different levels and we could just move and mingle amongst tons of people. I wanted to clear my head of all things involving my life for a few hours.

  Cale dropped us at the front and said, “You two stay here and just call when you are ready to go home. I’ll pick you up, got it!”

  “Yes sir!” We both saluted and then burst out laughing. Cale rolled his eyes and said, “Don’t have too much fun. Love you, girls.” He was such a sweetheart.

  “Love you, too!” We both screamed the words at the same time and Cale drove off with a big grin on his face.

  “Let’s go, girl! I need to rid my mind of men and get my dance ON!” Em laughed at my declaration.

  We headed to the lower level of the club and ordered drinks. I had already explained every sorted, ugly detail to my best friend about my night with Jack and the whole thing with Rylan. She felt horrible about setting me up with the prick and even worse about the fact that he was bragging about it with professional colleagues. I think she would have done just about anything to change my whole situation.

  I just wanted to forget it all and being the person Em was, she totally got that and dropped the subject.

  We found a tall table with stools and sat to listen to the band. Em ordered another round of drinks from the waitress as she approached. We didn’t really care how much we were having since Cale would be back to take us home.

  “Okay, I know you didn’t want to talk about it, but…what the hell is going on with this Rylan fella? Why is he so damned concerned about your fuck-ups?” Thanks, Em.

  “Don’t hold back, girl! Shit!!”

  “Well, aren’t you wondering? Do you think he thinks you’re an easy lay since Jack the Prick was bragging and he wants a piece of your fine ass?” Emily started laughing as she swallowed the last huge gulp of her drink.

  “Yeah! Thanks, best friend of mine…for that little seed! Shit! I don’t know what goes on in any man’s head let alone Rylan Daniels.” I paused. “I did consider his attention as a play to get into my bed, but I just don’t know. I think my ‘bullshit’ radar is malfunctioning.”

  “Jen, you have good instincts. Maybe they fail you sometimes, but you really do have good ones. I think you just need to tread lightly where Rylan Daniels is concerned. He may be after something that you aren’t willing to give, whether it is work related or something else.” I loved Emily’s take on my life. She was usually spot on….except for Jack Woods.

  “I think you’re right! But, tonight is about letting go and being with friends. And, Ryland Daniels and Jack Woods don’t fit into that category, so please, let’s stop talking about them!”

  “Right!” Just as Em said that, the band took the stage. We screamed and acted like teenagers. It was so much fun.

  By our fourth or fifth drink….I lost count….we were so giddy and silly it was ridiculous. We were hanging on a group of young girls at the table next to us and singing incoherent words to the songs. I felt twenty-two again and I’m pretty sure Emily did too.

  At some point, maybe halfway through the band’s first set, I felt a strange hand on the side of my right hip and my body froze with a weird sensation. I looked to Em only to see her eyebrows raise and her face turn into a slow grin.

  I turned around in slow motion to see the most beautiful face looking at me with a small, crooked smile and gorgeous gray eyes staring at me.

  “Hi,” was all Rylan Daniels said, his hand still on my hip.

  I smiled and said, “Well, hi yourself.” Yeah, I was drunk and totally flirting.

  He leaned into my ear and said, “I got your message. I’m sorry I didn’t call back. I was in a big meeting that turned into a shitload of other meetings in Sacramento until this morning. Dinner would have been really nice.”

  “Yep, that’s what I said!” I was a little too enthusiastic in my answer and it made Rylan laugh.

  “I can’t believe you’re here. Don’t you think that’s sort of….” His voice trailed off.

  “Strange….weird…..odd.....good?” I didn’t stop myself. Too much liquor.

  Rylan smiled, “Yes, good. That’s the word. It’s really good.” Oh, shit. I felt my whole body relax and turn hot.

  I looked down at his hand on my hip. “Your hand is on my hip.” I didn’t really mean to say that out loud because, truth be told…I liked it.

  His face drooped and he started to remove his hand, but I placed mine over his and he looked up at me. “It’s okay. Feels nice, Rylan.” The smile returned and I felt his hand grip my hip just
a little harder.

  “Hey!” Emily jolted me from my encounter. “You gonna introduce me or what?”

  “Yes, Em this is Rylan Daniels. Rylan….Emily, my best friend in the whole world!”

  “Nice to meet you,” Rylan yelled over the music.

  They shook hands and Emily said, “Okay, I have to pee! Be back in a minute.” I just shook my head and Rylan laughed.

  Standing there, with Rylan’s hand on my hip and no Em to buffer, things were quiet for a few minutes until Rylan leaned into my back and started swaying slightly to the music. My whole body responded like never before.

  Then, he spoke into my ear, “Is this okay, Jen? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

  Oh, God yes it was okay! “Yeah, this is fine.” I tried to be as casual as possible, but the feel of this closed off, beautiful man against me was pretty damned wonderful.

  When Emily came back to the table, I felt Rylan move away from me slightly. I wasn’t sure what that was, but it made me feel a little sad and awkward. I mean, why would he pull away?

  I could feel myself bristling and wanting to push him away or run. I controlled it as much as I could until I finally said, “Em, let’s go dance.”

  I walked out of Rylan’s grip, Em’s hand in mine and headed for the dance floor. “What the hell was that all about?” I knew that even drunk, Emily would pick up on my mood.

  “I don’t know. He was all leaning into me and being so nice and the minute you walked back over to the table, he pulled away and I felt his whole body stiffen. You know, I don’t do well with shit like that…..especially with my recent encounter with The Prick. I just needed to escape.”

  “What is he doing here anyway?” Em asked.

  “No idea. Pure coincidence, I guess. He feels dangerous to me. I could see my heart being completely crushed by Rylan and I won’t survive another relationship like that.” Em nodded her head in agreement.

  “Well, let’s just dance and have fun. We don’t have to go back to the table at all. We’ll just stay out here on the floor and away from Mr. Sexy Whistle Britches.” She laughed at herself and I just shook my head and laughed right along with her.

  Chapter 10 – Rylan

  Well, I guess I blew that. I couldn’t believe my luck when I noticed Jen at the same damn club. I only decided to come out, by myself, at the last minute. I was disappointed when I realized I’d missed her call earlier in the week. Then, all hell broke loose with our Sacramento clients and I had to put my personal life on hold and do some damage control. By the time I arrived back in town that morning and wrapped up a few things at the office, it was after five and being that it was a Friday night, I figured she had already gone home and wouldn’t be in her office. I really needed to get her damn cell phone number.

  I found myself watching her and her friend for a really long time. By the time I was on my third Jack and Coke, I bravely walked up behind her and set my hand on her hip. I just needed to touch her, but didn’t know why. I liked the feel of Jen leaning against me. I think she liked it too, but thoughts of Kristen popped through my clouded mind about the time her friend came back from the bathroom.

  I could feel myself get stiff and pull away. It was completely involuntary, but also completely noticed by Jen. She jumped away from me and walked to the dance floor with Emily.

  I felt like crap. I didn’t mean to even approach her, but something kept drawing me towards her. I wanted to follow them to the dance floor, but she seemed to want to escape from my utterly confusing behavior, so I just watched the two of them and finished my drink.

  I watched her sexy hips move to the music and forced myself to stay in place. I really wanted to be next to her and soon found my body walking to the dance floor. It was pure instinct.

  Jen had her back to me and laughing with her friend Emily, so I moved behind her, wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my body next to hers. She startled a bit until she glanced back and then relaxed into me. She knew it was me and I was glad. I smiled and put my lips close to her ear. “I’m sorry if I was a little tense. It’s been a while since I’ve…..dated.” That’s all I had for her. Dated…..hmm

  She turned her head to look at me and raised her eyebrow. “Really? You, Mr. Sexy Whistle Britches?”

  I laughed. “Mr. Sexy what? Is that how you see me?”

  “Hell yeah! You know you’re sexy, Rylan. Don’t even try to deny it!” Wow, she must be really drunk to be admitting that to me, but I’d take it.

  I didn’t say anything. I just moved with Jen to the music and I felt free. She reached her hands back around my neck and ran her fingers through my hair. The move had my breath stopped and my heart frozen. I tilted my head down for Jen to have better access and kissed the top of her shoulder. I heard, or rather felt, her moan at my touch and the sound made me close my eyes and just feel the moment. She kept pushing her ass against my noticeable erection and I wondered if she noticed in her drunken state. Actually, I didn’t give a shit if she noticed because it all felt too fucking amazing.

  I noticed Emily slowly move away and join some girls that were at the table next to theirs. I had Jen all to myself so I took the leap and trailed kisses up her neck, which made her grip my hair into her fingers. I knew damn good and well, somewhere in my half sober brain, that had I not been sipping on Jack and Coke for the last hour, I wouldn’t have been brave enough to try this with her.

  I sucked on her earlobe and her knees buckled. I smiled and held her tighter to me, keeping her from sinking. I liked the way she reacted to me….to my touch, but deep in my conscience brain, I was struggling with it.

  As if she sensed it, Jen turned in my arms and faced me. She just tilted her head and stared into my eyes. We swayed together, staring for nearly the entire song. She kept staring between my eyes and my mouth. I knew she wanted me to kiss her, but I didn’t know if I could. Every date I’d been on since Kristen had ended with the same awkwardness.

  We lost the moment as soon as the song ended and I hadn’t made my move. Jen’s face fell and she turned to walk away. I was a total fucking prick and I knew it, but she didn’t understand why.

  “Jen, wait!” I grabbed her arm and she spun around to face me.

  “Thanks for the dance, Rylan. It was fun.” Didn’t sound like ‘fun’ the way she said it.

  “No, I….I wanted to ki…..” I started to say, but was interrupted.

  “Have a good evening, Rylan. We gotta go.” And, she stalked off through the crowd, grabbed Emily and headed up the stairs toward the door. I needed to catch her. I didn’t want them driving home. They were both pretty drunk.

  “Jen! Emily!” I was yelling as loud as I could.

  I saw Emily turn toward my voice, but not Jen. Emily walked back to me as Jen pressed her way toward the entrance. “Hey, Rylan! Just leave her alone. You’ve done enough. She doesn’t need all this shit from you, too. What the fuck kind of game are you playing? Is it not enough that she’s been humiliated by Jack? Did you think you could get into her bed too?” I started to speak and then Emily said, “Back the fuck off! She deserves better that someone like you or Jack!”

  Shit! I totally fucked the whole thing up if Emily was comparing me to that dickhead Jack. “Emily, wait!” I screamed as she was walking way. “It’s not like that, I promise. First, let me call you guys a cab, please. You’ve both had a lot to drink.”

  “What? Fuck you! My husband is picking us up! We’re not a couple of irresponsible bimbo college students, asshole!”

  Oh, right, she was married. Hmm. “I didn’t think that, Emily. I was just concerned. I didn’t mean to upset either of you. Please, just….I have…I….care about Jen, please. I’m not who you think I am.” I saw her face shift and I was pretty sure she believed me.

  “Then, prove it, Rylan, cause from what I know and what I’ve seen, it looks like you’re playing some sick, twisted game with my best friend, man.” With that, she walked away leaving me stunned.

  Is that r
eally what it looked like to Jen? Did it appear that I was just playing mind games with her? That I was using her like Jack did? That is the last thing I ever wanted her to think.

  I paid my tab and jumped in a cab, headed toward Jen’s house. Yeah, I knew where she lived. I wasn’t a stalker, just curious, so I search around and found where she lived.

  I was let out, but asked the cabbie to wait a minute. I buzzed her condo from the outside panel and waited for an answer. After several attempts, I heard a very sleeply, still drunk Jen answer. “Yeah, who is it? Do you know what fucking time it is?”

  “Hi. It’s me…Rylan. Nothing. Complete silence. “Jen?”

  “Why are you here, Rylan?”

  “Um, I just wanted to clear a few things up, that’s all.”

  “It’s two o’clock in the morning, Rylan. Go home.”

  “Um, I can’t. I need to make sure you understand a few things, please.” I heard her take a deep breath.

  “Fine. If you will just shut up and let me lay down….” I heard the buzzing sound of the door signaling that it was unlocked. I climbed the stairs and saw Jen slowly open her door and motion for me to come in. I’d waved to the cabbie to leave as soon as she buzzed me in. I could always call another one if she kicked me out.

  Jen opened the front door wider and turned to walk toward her couch as I shut the door behind me. “Ry, I’m gonna lay down on the couch. You can chat away, but know that I probably won’t remember any of it in the morning ‘cause I’m pretty drunk.”

  She hiccupped and I let out a small laugh that had her grinning too. “You can stay here on the couch if you want to tonight instead of getting a cab, but I’ll be in my room alone. Got it?” She sure was cute.

  “Yep. Got it!” Maybe this conversation was best left till morning.

  Jen laid down on the couch and I sat on the coffee table in front of her. “I just wanted you to know that I really had a nice time with you tonight.”