Beloved

by Rachel Gardner

  That night God showed me that he is in the business of calling. We are to be in the business of surrendering.

  Even Jesus, who lived the most significant life of any human being, knew that the sacrifice is the calling. So, as he drew near to Jerusalem and his death, he ramped up his teaching on suffering. If his disciples had missed the fact that following him meant walking the path of pain, they were now about to get it loud and clear.

  Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?

  (Luke 9:23–25 NIV)

  Following Jesus is not about becoming a better person, but becoming a new person. But our transformation doesn’t stop at the point where we say yes to Jesus. In fact, it starts there. Every day we need to say yes to the new creation God is shaping us into. That’s what it means to yield yourself to God. It’s the daily and deliberate handing over of your will to God. And it can hurt sometimes, because we’re rebels by inclination.

  Can you see what God wants you to do with your life?

  Surrender it.

  Solid

  Only one woman’s story in the Bible starts with ‘Once upon a time...’ (The Message translation), and true to form, it has a very happy ending. Ruth’s is a life poured out in love for her grieving and broken widowed mother-in-law Naomi. Eventually, she gets the guy (Boaz), and joins the dynasty that will stretch all the way to Jesus himself! But Ruth didn’t know about any of this when she chose to stay and to love.

  Her story begins with her marriage to an Israelite man, and then follow ten uneventful years in her new family’s home. But tragedy strikes, and in quick succession her husband, father-in-law and brother-in-law all die. Marooned in Moab at a time of great famine, this trio of grieving women had the choice to stay and maybe die from starvation, or head their own separate ways to find food and a future for themselves. Mother-in-law Naomi urges both women to go back home. Orpah leaves, but Ruth goes with Naomi.

  But Ruth said, ‘Don’t force me to leave you; don’t make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I’ll die, and that’s where I’ll be buried, so help me GOD – not even death itself is going to come between us!’

  (Ruth 1:16–17 MSG)

  Ruth’s loyalty goes beyond what would have been expected for a woman of her time. She’s paid her dues, so she’s free to head home to make something of the rest of her life. Instead, she surrenders her future for the love of a broken woman. We’re not told if she agonized over her decision to put Naomi’s well-being first, but I get the feeling that in that moment it was crystal clear what she should do. Surrender. Later, she is one of the four women named as Jesus’ ancestors. But she started by sacrificing everything when she had no certainty of any reward or recognition.

  Like many of the women in the Bible whose stories have inspired me, her actions go further than simple compliance within her culture. There’s something about her response to Naomi that thunders down the generations to us as the voice of a woman who chooses to be available to God.

  If anyone is a poster girl for selfless surrender, it’s Ruth.

  Instinct

  If we’re to be poster girls for anything, surely it’s this. That the only life worth having is the one that’s spent in the service of God. The older I get, the less interested I am in any other kind of life. You can spend your days chasing a whole bunch of things that might get you money in the bank and letters after your name (not bad things in themselves), but at some point or other, Jesus will ask you whether you’d be willing to abandon everything for him.

  Our lives are meant to be a stark contrast to the emptiness of life without surrender to Christ.

  For Paul, surrender to Christ was not only what we’re destined for, but the only way to live. As he trod this path, he discovered something that our brothers and sisters around the globe who suffer for knowing Christ have also discovered. That nothing life can offer, including life itself, can compare to knowing Jesus.

  Listening to Paul speaking about his eagerness to lay it all down for Jesus almost makes it sound like surrender came easy to him. Yet he was regularly tortured and imprisoned for not shutting up about Christ. It wouldn’t have been easy, but maybe it became instinctive, like breathing. Maybe his deepening relationship with Jesus meant that over time what he needed to do became as clear as day.

  When I stop to think about the number of people sharing planet earth with me who don’t know that all their pain, suffering and hopelessness can be met and matched with a love and hope that will rock their world, I feel a tightening in my chest. It makes me focus on asking myself some questions that I won’t like the sound of, never mind the answers!

  When did I last reach out to someone whom I find challenging?

  Why do I spend so much time and energy trying to be liked by important people, when Jesus is asking me to lay it all down for the lost, the last and the least?

  What’s stopping me in this moment from choosing the tough path of surrender to Jesus? Fear of rejection or of looking stupid? My greed in wanting to keep my things for myself? My ambition to make myself more well known than Jesus?

  Be faithful

  I am continually humbled by the thought that one day I will get to spend eternity with sisters and brothers who gave their everything, even their lives, rather than deny the One who gave it all for them. Find ways to keep them in your mind and heart as you grow in your own discipleship journey.

  Listen to Paul:

  Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant... I’ve dumped it all in the trash so I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him.

  (Philippians 3:8–9 MSG)

  I think I need to know what tomorrow holds. But I don’t. What I need is to know the One who holds all my tomorrows. Then I need to trust him enough to give it all to him and for him. Even if it means losing in this life. This is the secret to experiencing life in all its fullness. It doesn’t get any better than this.

  But I wouldn’t give my life for anything less – would you?

  Wonderland

  Denying ourselves doesn’t mean ignoring the way God has made us, and how he might want to use it all for his glory. Exploring who we are is a powerful way to bring ourselves fully to God for his service.

  The evangelist J.John often uses a really helpful illustration to help kick-start this process of self-awareness that can lead us towards surrendering ourselves to God:

  S = spiritual gifts. Read the whole of 1 Corinthians 12 and identify the gifts God is giving you. They are all expressions of God’s power, and so they aren’t presents to stay on a shelf, but tools to be used to serve God’s body and his mission.

  H = heart. Jesus said that whatever we do for the least, we do for him. When you think of the least, who comes to mind? Who is on your heart to reach out to with God’s love?

  A = abilities. You possess the ability to do all sorts of things, some of them really well. God is a huge fan of your intelligence and skills. He created you uniquely, and can speak to you and others through these abilities. So what are they?

  P = personality. There is a unique combination of characteristics and qualities that make up your personality. You won’t always be aware of them, so you might need to ask friends and family to name them.

  E = experiences. You have seen and felt things that have left an impression on your life. Both positive and negative, these have given you insight into the lives of people that others might not have.

  When we talk about surrendering ourselves for the sake of the gospel, we mean that we give our SHAPE for God to use as
he will. He takes what we offer, and uses it all to bring his peace and wholeness to others. Are you quick to sense injustice? God is asking you to challenge those situations and institutions where people are treated wrongly or unfairly. Are you a fine-detail person? Do you handle money well? God is asking you to help someone break out of the cycle of debt and despair.

  When you see your whole self as an offering to God, you begin to see your life and future in different ways. Instead of asking, ‘Does God want me to go to university?’, the question becomes: ‘How will going to university help me grow in my relationship with Jesus and my opportunity to serve him?’ Instead of asking, ‘Does God want me to date anyone?’, the question becomes: ‘How will dating deepen my love of God and my willingness to serve him through all my relationships?’

  And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice – the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

  (Romans 12:1–3 NLT)

  My sanctuary

  Lots of us feel anxiety about an uncertain future. We don’t know what’s around the corner, and more often than not, God doesn’t tell us. When Mother Teresa prayed for trust rather than clarity for the young priest, she wasn’t denying his desire to know what he should do. But she was responding to his deeper desire to know that he was safe and secure in God’s hands, whatever he did. Hundreds of years before this, a nun called Julian of Norwich (1342–1413) referred to such trust as an ‘enfolding’.

  We are enfolded in the Father, and we are enfolded in the Son and we are enfolded in the Holy Spirit. The Father is enfolded in us, and the Son is enfolded in us, and the Holy Spirit is enfolded in us; All-mighty, All-wisdom, All-goodness: one God, one Lord.16

  Close your eyes, and ask God to show you how he is folding you into himself. You’re tucked in. Held. Secure. Safe. So yield it all to him, and watch what he does.

  Years ago I met Cleo.

  I was working in a hostel for young homeless people. Cleo was there because, after years of emotional abuse, she had finally decided to run away from home. Unsurprisingly, she had developed a tough persona to cope with the brutality she had experienced. One night she took a toxic combination of prescription pills and vodka. After she got back from hospital, she spent every day locked in her room, crying, angry, hurting – with a pulse, but without a life.

  One afternoon my manager asked me to take Cleo out for some fresh air. It was a beautiful day. We got into my cranky Nova car and drove up a very steep hill to a place of outstanding natural beauty in East Sussex called Beachy Head. When you stand at the top of the cliff, you literally feel like you’re on top of the world, with nothing but sea and sky stretching out before you. It’s a place of infinite possibilities. It’s also the place where people come from miles around to jump to their deaths. Even now I’m not sure why I got it into my head to bring a girl who had tried to take her life to a cliff infamous for suicide.

  But I did.

  After a while we got out of the car and began to walk to the edge of the cliff. We stood in the warm sea breeze. Cleo spoke first: ‘I’m dead inside. I’m not really living.’

  ‘What could change that?’ I asked.

  ‘Who knows?’ came the reply.

  We stood in silence a bit more. Then I whispered, ‘I’m alive.’

  The seagulls screeched below us, and in the distance you could hear the tractors working the fields, churning up the rich earth. Life was all around us.

  ‘I’m alive,’ I said a little louder. ‘Hey! I’m alive! Look at me! I’m alive!’ I jumped up. ‘Come on, I’m alive! This is my life!’ I was shouting now, and waving my arms about.

  Cleo watched me and began to giggle.

  ‘You’re an idiot,’ she said.

  ‘I know, and I don’t care!’ I shouted back. ‘We’re alive, Cleo. Here, today, now, in this moment! Alive! Shout it out! Tell the birds and the sky and the sea. Shout it out to the hospital. Let them hear it. Shout it to your past, to your family. Let them hear you. Let me hear you. Let yourself hear you. You’re alive, Cleo! You’re alive!’

  Eventually we were both hopping around and shouting, ‘I’m alive!’ at the tops of our voices. I’m sure we scared away a bus load of grey-haired tourists, but we didn’t care. We were grabbing at the life that Cleo had nearly given up on. It felt like nothing we’d ever known. I knew that the life-bringing Spirit of Jesus was dancing with us on that cliff edge that day. He was the one who was offering Cleo the irresistible invitation to live. To know love on the other side of pain. I know he has never stopped chasing Cleo as she’s attempted to rebuild her life out of the ashes of her near death.

  All the best stories are about life conquering death.

  They’re about the tables being turned, the underdog coming out on top, love winning the day. This is your story: your life has been rescued and your eyes have been opened by Love. You are loved over and over again, in countless ways, by the God who never changes and whose promises are new every morning. We have complete access to a love that nothing can destroy.

  Love is as strong as death,

  its jealousy as enduring as the grave.

  Love flashes like fire,

  the brightest kind of flame.

  Many waters cannot quench love,

  nor can rivers drown it.

  (Song of Solomon 8:6–7 NLT)

  Shout it out...

  ‘I’m loved! I’m his beloved! Nothing can wrench me out of God’s heart. I’m loved for good. I’m loved forever!’

  Being loved like this means something life changing. Our divine rescue from sin doesn’t simply mean we’re warehoused for heaven once we die. It’s an irresistible invitation to live a life of love here on earth. To live out our one, wild, rescued and beloved life for the glory of the One who first loved us.

  We’re called to be love.

  This book has featured some of the heroines I adore. Beautiful women I’ve met in the pages of the Bible and in my everyday life who challenge me to break free from pressures to be less than I am. The way they reach out to God and others in love, even when they doubt their worth and ability, inspires me to dare to believe that I could be as daring, as loving.

  In the book of Joshua we meet Rahab.

  We know little about her, other than her profession as a prostitute in the highly fortified city of Jericho. I’m not sure that we’re supposed to try to be like her. She’s not a classic role model for a Christian woman! But she’s fearless in her act of resistance, and she has faith, and that’s why we know about her.

  Rahab’s story is tucked away in the pages of the Old Testament at a time of huge significance for God’s people. They’d been rescued some forty years before from the inhumane slavery of Egypt, and had finally reached the dreamland God had promised them so long ago: Canaan. But there were still some battles ahead of them, one of which was to destroy the powerfully fortified city of Jericho.

  They succeed. It’s a bloody chapter in Israel’s history; the Bible tells us that no-one in Jericho survived. No-one, that is, except Rahab and her family. They survived because her act of treason against her own people in hiding the Israelite spies ensured that the people of God got the info they needed to launch a devastating attack on Jericho.

  What made Rahab risk life and limb for people she didn’t even know? How is this in any way a story of love?

  For starters, it’s not really Rahab’s story.

  It’s not her victory. It’s not her courage that won the day, or the position of her house on the walls of the city. It’s not her ability to glean information from strangers, propelling her towards a shift in loyalties, or even about her growing love for a nomadic group of people.

  This is God�
�s story. His victory. His power. His love.

  It always is.

  What did Rahab make of this God who fights for his own? A God whose love for his people knows no bounds. Who parts the waves and drowns their enemies, feeds them with a miracle food every morning and gently leads them by fire and cloud. Did her heart begin to melt towards the God who demonstrated a fierce love she had never known?

  I know that the LORD has given this land to you and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. We have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. When we heard of it, our hearts sank and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.

  (Joshua 2:9–11 NIV)

  God loves with a mighty love, and he invites us to love in exactly the same way that he loves.

  Fast forward to the New Testament, and Jesus preaches a radical message of love. Love the unlovely, the difficult to love, the stranger, the family member who pushes you away. Don’t love just when it’s easy. Love because everything in you wants to hate, hold back or hide away from this person. Love when the very act of reaching out opens you up to all kinds of rejection and ridicule. We might think that this kind of love is only about boarding a plane to the latest war zone, or giving away everything you have that you don’t need.