RECKLESS - Part 5 (The RECKLESS Series)

by Ward, Alice

  “It was a crazy time in my life,” Brandy said from her seat next to me, voice sounding almost hallow. “Our father passed away. Jace was off to college. Paul was kind of there to pick up the pieces. And then, when I got pregnant, he left. If it hadn’t been for Jace—“ She paused and cleared her throat.

  “I might have made the biggest mistake of my life. He was the one that talked me out of giving her up,” she nodded her head in Jace’s direction. “He knew I’d regret it forever, and he did everything he could to help out right after she was born. He’s been the best uncle a little girl could have.”

  I suddenly felt so horribly guilty for ripping that away. I knew Jace had made his choice, but it had to have hurt. “I’m sorry,” I told Brandy.

  “For what?” she asked, her brow creased with concern.

  “For dragging him out here.”

  Brandy shook her head. “Oh, no. You don’t get to feel bad. He loves you, would move heaven and earth for you. I saw what he went through without you, and I would rather see him here than to have him miserable like that ever again. You two are perfect together.”

  A weak smile pulled at my lips and I reached across the small space between us and squeezed her hand. “Thank you,” I said.

  “No, thank you,” she said, squeezing my hand back. “I’ve never seen him this crazy about anyone. And, truth be told, we’re thinking about moving out here now, just to be close to family,” Brandy said, her own smile surfacing. “Jace is really the only family we have left, and I can definitely see why he loves it here so much. It’s so green and beautiful. Perfect, really.”

  She was right: everything really was perfect. Having her and Carly there, in Seattle, would make things even more perfect. But would the bliss last after Jace learned the truth, after I told him that he was going to be a father?

  I guessed there was only one way to really find out.

  ***

  After a long day at the aquarium and checking out the Seattle sites, Jace held a passed out Carly to his chest outside of our house. “Brandy, really, I can’t let you pay for a hotel, not when we have that huge house with empty rooms,” he said, refusing to hand Carly over.

  “Jace, please,” she said, trying again to snatch her daughter out of his arms. “You’ve already carted us around for the day and I don’t want to impose.”

  “You’re not imposing,” I said, taking Jace’s side on this one as I gently laid a hand on Brandy’s shoulder. “We’d be more than happy to have you and Carly stay here. Jace is right. No sense in trying to get around the city this late with a sleepy little one when you can stay right here. We’ll set you guys up in the guest room.”

  Brandy glanced nervously between the two of us, her brow creased in thought. Finally, she released a heavy sigh. “Okay, but only if you guys are sure,” she said.

  She didn’t have to tell Jace twice; he was already headed down the hall to tuck Carly in by the time Brandy walked through the front door. She took a seat at the kitchenette, looking a little exhausted herself, and I started a pot of coffee while we waited for him to return.

  “Are you going to tell him?” she asked as I sat down with two mugs, one for me and one for her.

  My heart thudded away in my throat. She couldn’t possibly know . . . could she? I had no way of knowing because I was too damn speechless to find my voice.

  “It’s okay,” she continued, laying her hand over mine. “I haven’t said anything. My guess is, you’re not really sure or you would have already told him.”

  “H—h—how did you know?” I finally stammered out.

  Lifting her mug to her lips to blow over the top, she raised a shoulder. “I just noticed how closely you’ve been watching him with Carly today. He’s an amazing uncle and he’d be an even more amazing father. And, just so you know, I think you’d make a wonderful mother.”

  “Mother?” Jace asked, standing just at the end of the hallway.

  Oh, shit.

  “I—uh—I’ll let you two talk,” Brandy said, standing and leaving with a quickness.

  Way to spill the beans and then abandon me.

  “Andrea?” Jace asked, taking a few slow steps in my direction. “Is there something that you wanted to tell me?”

  Staring at my coffee, I avoided his gaze. Why was it so hard to tell him? Why couldn’t I just spit it out? What the hell had gotten into me?

  “Andrea, are you pregnant?” he asked, now kneeling on the floor in front of me, his hand cupping my face, forcing me to look at him.

  “I—I don’t know.” Tears pricked at my eyes, but there was something there on Jace’s face that I never would have expected: a smile. It wasn’t a huge one, but it was there, nonetheless. And it was still quite different from the anger or disgust I was sure I’d see when I broke the news.

  “Really?” he asked, little lines forming in the creases of his eyes as his smile grew a little.

  I nodded and chewed at the inside of my cheek for a moment. “I—I don’t understand,” I said, my head tilting to the side a little. “I thought you’d be upset.”

  “Why ever in the world would I be upset, Andrea?”

  My brow creased as I tried to reconcile this Jace with the one that had sat with me on the Ferris wheel, talking of how he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to have kids and how those feelings had been the beginning of the end when it came to his ex. “We haven’t ever really talked about it, and I didn’t think you wanted kids after . . . “

  “After my ex?”

  I nodded.

  “Andrea, that was then. This is now. I’m not looking to start a family, and I’m pretty sure neither of us are really ready for that,” he said, shaking his head a bit. “But I would never be angry with you if it happened. You’re my life, my future, no matter what happens.”

  “But . . . isn’t it too soon? Reckless has just started to take off. I’m doing great at the magazine, but can I afford the career setback after I already gave up finishing my degree? And, what about child care? Who will watch it?—“

  I probably would have rambled on like that forever, had Jace not pulled my face to his and planted a soft kiss on my lips. “How about we find out if we’re really pregnant before you start saving for college tuition?” he asked.

  I chuckled at my own over-reaction as I leaned my forehead down to rest against his. He was right; we didn’t even know for sure. I could just be late. Or maybe I’d miscalculated. Or maybe my hormones were reacting to the weather change. Who the hell knew? Only a pregnancy test would tell us for sure.

  “Can we find out now?” I asked, anxious to have an answer one way or the other. Either our entire life was going to flip upside down or it would go back to normal. I wasn’t even sure which one I wanted because both possibilities seemed to create a mixture of emotions. At least an answer would give me some sort of direction when it came to dealing with them.

  “Let’s go,” he said, standing and then pulling me up out of the chair.

  In a little more than half an hour, we were back from the drug store, waiting to see what the little display window on the test would tell us. The first minute was spent feeling sick to my stomach. The second minute was spent thinking that maybe I’d done it wrong. The third minute, I was pretty sure I hadn’t taken a breath since peeing on the stick. And by the fourth, we had our answer.

  Not pregnant.

  First, I started breathing. Then I started crying. Tears of relief or tears of sadness, I couldn’t say for sure. Whatever the case, Jace was there to kiss them away.

  “Hey,” he said, bringing his lips to mine as he dried the tears with his thumbs. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “I—I don’t even know why I’m crying,” I said, shaking my head a little. “We weren’t ready for a baby. We don’t even know if we actually want kids. But, I—I—“

  “I know,” he said, tucking a swatch of hair behind my ear. “And it’s okay. We have time to talk about it, time to decide.”

  He was right. This
wasn’t the end . . . of anything. Our careers. Our life together. Our future.

  We were just beginning.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “About damn time we have a day to ourselves,” Becca said, pulling me into yet another one of the shops at Pike’s. I swear, she’d tasted every food in the market at least three times. Now she was testing out some potato leek soup. “I’m happy for you and Jace, really, but he should have warned me that he was going to steal my best friend away from me.”

  “He hasn’t stolen me,” I said, laughing and rolling my eyes. “Besides, after you and Zane got married, you spent, like, every waking minute screwing each other’s brains out.”

  “Damn straight,” she said, taking another sample cup of soup for the road.

  “How’s all that going, by the way? Marriage, I mean.”

  Becca frowned in thought and bobbed her head from side to side. “Honestly? We’re still very much in the honeymoon phase. I’m sure all the lovey-dovey stuff will wear off eventually, but for now, I’m enjoying every minute of it. It’s kind of nice, getting to know him a little more each day. He’s really smart, and super talented. Plus, he’s all about saving puppies and the planet, so we get along pretty well.”

  “I didn’t know you were a puppy saver,” I said, chuckling as I bumped her in the ribs with my elbow.

  “Well, I wasn’t always overly concerned with it, but as Zane teaches me more and more about pet stores and breeders, I can’t help myself,” she said, taking a left at the end of the block. “Puppies are so cute. How could you not want to save them when you hear about all the horrible injustices?”

  “Nice to see he’s expanding your horizons,” I said, lacing my arm through hers. “Now, would you like to tell me where the hell we’re going?”

  “Huh? Oh, nowhere really,” she said, shrugging a little. “I just never got a ring and I think I’m going to try and talk Zane into getting me one for Christmas.”

  Sure enough, just up ahead, there was a jewelry store . . . but not just any jewelry store—my favorite one, the one that I bought pretty much all my pieces at. “You know about this place?” I asked, sliding a glance over at Becca. She was up to something. Again. I just knew it.

  “Yeah, I asked your mom where I should go,” she said. “This was the place she recommended. Gave me directions and everything.”

  “Oh.” I still couldn’t help but feel like she was pulling another one of her sneak attacks, but nothing about her features or her demeanor would have suggested as much, so we continued along, stepped into the small shop, and headed straight for the wedding and engagement rings.

  I never would have pegged Becca as the ring type, let alone one that would shop for one for herself, but she had her face plastered to the glass the second we reached the display counter. Her eyes glazed over when she caught sight of a princess cut set.

  The white gold engagement ring held what looked like at least a quarter carat. On either side of the center diamond, small diamonds were embedded into the band. The wedding ring itself, also white gold, held the same small, embedded diamonds. It was absolutely beautiful.

  “Try it on,” I said, leaning into her a bit.

  She turned to me with an expression that made her look closer to ten than twenty. “Should I? I mean, what if it’s too much.”

  “Then they have payment plans,” I said, tapping the installment plan sign on top of the counter. “Look, I’ve gotten to know a bit about Zane, and I’m pretty sure that, if you love that set, he’d move heaven and earth to get it for you. And if you won’t tell him about it, I will.”

  “Brat,” she said, sticking her tongue out at me, but smiling immediately after. We both giggled as she raised her hand for help. “You should try something on, too, Andy.”

  My face scrunched. “Why?”

  “So I don’t feel so weird doing it by myself. Besides, it never hurts to know what you want . . . just in case,” she said, waggling her eyebrows.

  We were both still laughing as the shop attendant stepped in front of us. “Can I help you ladies find something?” she asked, her thin skin wrinkling around her mouth and eyes as she smiled.

  “Yes,” Becca said, nodding. “I’d like to try this one on, please.” She pointed to the princess cut set she’d been admiring just a few seconds before. “And then that one for my friend.” She pointed to another one right next to it, a marquise cut set.

  The woman smiled. “Certainly,” she said, nodding and then opening the glass counter. “So is there a particular reason why both brides want different rings?”

  Having grown up in Seattle, I knew exactly what the woman had meant and I laughed. “No, no,” I said, shaking my head at the woman. “She’s already married. I’m just looking, apparently, just in case, according to my friend here.”

  Becca, who had grown up in Texas, looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. “I don’t get what’s so funny,” she said, apparently still confused.

  “She thought we were together,” I muttered under my breath, not wanting to offend the woman for being so wonderfully sensitive to our unique culture. “As in, bride and groom.”

  Becca shook her head quickly. “Oh!” And then she laughed as she took a seat at the end of the counter. At least a life in Texas hadn’t made her as closed-minded as some of the people I’d met in my four years there.

  We both tried on our sets, had our fingers sized, and then went through all of the financing options for Becca and Zane. For good measures, I asked the attendant if I could snap a quick photo of the ring. I threatened to send Zane a text with the picture if she didn’t tell him.

  “I should do the same to you,” she said, rolling her eyes at me. “You absolutely loved that last ring, but I know you won’t tell Jace about it.”

  “Becca, why would I tell him about it? We’re not even engaged yet.”

  “But you’re living together. Thought you were pregnant. Sounds like marriage is the next logical step to me,” she said, maneuvering us back through the streets outside, which had started to clear out with the sun finally setting and Pike’s now closed.

  “Maybe . . . but for now, I say we grab some dinner. You up for some Thai food?” I asked knowing that the best way to change the subject was with the promise of food.

  “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

  Works every time.

  ***

  Even though I’d pretty much finished all of my Christmas shopping weeks ago, I found myself downtown, browsing the shops . . . again. This time by myself. I had considered bringing mom or Becca or Brandy along, but I figured this was a trip best made on my own.

  I was having the hardest time picking out a Christmas present for Jace. Try as I might, I couldn’t think of what to get the man. I’d considered season tickets to see the Seahawks, but I somehow got the feeling that he only had just enough interest in sports to interact with other guys. Being that we lived in one of the most sports-centric places in the country, he had conversations about our local teams regularly. But at home, he barely even watched the game. Instead, he would pull up the news reports after, catching just the highlights and the end scores.

  He’d gone shopping for winter gear shortly after arriving in Seattle. And he’d even thought to ask the locals about purchasing the right gear; most people might not know it, but the right gear is absolutely essential when it’s both wet and cold all the time. So he had his liners for his boots, an outer shell for his coat, as well as gloves, a couple of hats, and a scarf. He was a true Seattleite.

  Maybe I could get a gift card for one of the local tattoo shops; he would surely appreciate that since he’d been talking about getting a new one for a while now—a puzzle piece. He was trying to talk me into getting one that matched, but I’d never had a tattoo and wasn’t very thrilled at the idea of pain. But at least he could get his . . .

  I was almost to the tattoo shop, just a few blocks more and I would have reached it, but I stopped and took a few steps backwards. Something had caught
my eye. Something perfect. Something I knew Jace would love. And it would be perfect for our new home which, for the most part, still had bare walls. And so, without a second thought, I stepped inside the tiny shop and placed my order. I only hoped it would be done on time.

  ***

  Christmas was my absolute favorite holiday of the year.

  Maybe it was because my parents had developed and held us to a lot of crazy but fun traditions—putting up the tree and hanging lights right after Thanksgiving dinner, Secret Santa gifts, marshmallows and hot cocoa by the fire after we opened presents, pancakes in the shape of Christmas trees for breakfast, and yes, even the cheesy carols that we sang somewhere between Christmas dinner and presents.

  Maybe it was because I got to see all of my family, every single one of my brothers, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles—people that I hardly ever saw at any other time of the year. Aunt Gladys always flew in from Minnesota with her husband and her kids—all of them now grown-up with kids of their own. Uncle Tim drove in from Spokane with his husband. And, of course, my brothers and their wives or girlfriends showed up, too.

  Or, maybe it was just the spirit of the season, the twinkling lights, the spirit of love and generosity, and the end of a year with the promise of a new one. Whatever the case, I loved Christmas and Jace could barely keep up with me as I buzzed around in the days leading up to it, wrapping gifts, running to and from my parent’s house to help with dinner preparations, sending out Christmas cards and decorating our own home. I think he might have been grateful just to sit down for a second when we arrived at my mom and dad’s on Christmas Eve—a laid back night where now, with most of us grown up, we all just sat around drinking egg nog and catching up before the rest of the family arrived on Christmas day.

  For years, it had been Sean by my side at these rituals; as much as my family loved him and he loved my family, it always felt a little tense, like he was trying too hard to impress. But this year, it was Jace, Zane, Thomas, Becca, Brandy, Carly, and even Robert, and all my brothers. Everyone was relaxed, laid back, discussing the latest game, plans for the future, and sharing stories about the past.