I Need You Too

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  I’d donated my services pro bono. I never expected their subsequent offer of a job and an apartment. I just wanted to offer some assistance in order to absolve some of the guilt I felt toward things. Marjorie keeps trying to convince me that I’m not responsible, but I feel I should’ve had some type of control over the car that night. I know my mind kept telling me to pull over, so why didn’t I heed its warning?

  I hated that I had no authority over the changes around me. I’d gone from a controlled and organized environment, where my temperament had been very even, to one where I felt out of control. When I woke up from the coma, I learned that the girl I’d been waiting for was in love with someone else, and my job had been given to another manager for the interim, pending my recovery. However, citing they could get similar ideas for less money and the impending length of my recovery, they shortly made the interim position permanent. Granted, they’d offered a nice severance package for my willingness not to sue them, but it still sucked that I got the dreaded pink slip. It was only by sheer fate that Nate needed my help. It kept my mind active, so my thoughts didn’t turn to darker ones of ending things.

  Now, almost two years later, I’m almost done with therapy. I’m able to walk with limited use of the cane, except when I’ve been on my feet for too long or have overdone a workout routine. I can’t wait for the day I can finally toss the damn thing in the trash and be done with it. I’ll always have a slight limp to my gait, but I’ll take it. Originally, the doctors didn’t give me much hope of using the leg ever again.

  In those two years Dane Prescott, Gabi’s older brother, ended up marrying Nate’s sister Marissa and they now have a beautiful baby girl, Lexi, who’ll be turning one in another month. Nate and his wife, Gianna Prescott, Dane and Rafe’s cousin and Marjorie’s sister, will be celebrating their one year wedding anniversary soon. They’ve started talking about kids, but state it will be a while since they’re still enjoying traveling and playing at the BDSM club on occasion. Dane’s brother Rafe Prescott and Marissa’s ex-roommate Dawn Jamieson, were married the same day as Nate and Gianna and welcomed the birth of their little boy, Ian Xander Prescott. They’d used Dawn’s father’s alias with a shortened version of Alexander to pay tribute to both fathers who’d ensured their safety while her sicko ex-boss, Liam Cavanaugh (a.k.a. William McCavan, III), tried hunting Dawn down and luring her family out.

  I guess I’d been instrumental in helping Rafe figure out why Dawn had been pushing him away. No one could’ve known that her family and she had been part of a federal witness protection program stemming from the work her parents used to do as covert operatives deep within the government. Dawn’s boss had been the son of a crime syndicate boss that Dawn’s parents helped to extinguish. He’d used her to lure them out so he could seek his revenge. It was a good thing that Sophia, her mother, was a sharp shooter and took Liam out with one shot to the heart – finally ending the family’s need to hide. I guess some change was for the best.

  Through all of the ups and downs one thing had remained constant, Marjorie’s friendship. She’d been able to see through my façade and I’d been able to see the cracks in her foundation. We seemed to be the emotional support the other needed.

  I’d felt angry at all the collars and wishes of congratulations exchanged amongst the women associated in the Prescott’s way of life. The idea of sex appealed to me, but the Dom/sub and Master/sub side of things were a bit too much for my vanilla mind to digest. She’d helped to explain the symbolism of the collars and what they stood for – a promise to be only with that person, and a willingness to give one’s trust over to the other to guide them to utter pleasure, while testing their limits within the bedroom.

  I’d been furious to see Marissa wearing one, and then to see Nate collar Gianna. I’d never realized how deeply he was into the lifestyle. I was happy to see that Dawn had resisted one for a while; however, right before they’d had Ian, I noticed she sported a similar design. Was there more to this kink thing than I’d first thought? Was it more about emotions and feelings versus the aspect of domination? Maybe it was the chaos in my life that made it hard for me to understand the principles behind things. Who knows?

  If I talked to this Kent guy, maybe I could ask him for more information about things. I know Marjorie touched on the subject, but I could tell it upset her to talk too much about things. Adding to my confusion, I caught her looking longingly at necklaces on more than one occasion and sighing.

  I glanced over at the clock on the microwave. I had a little over an hour and a half left to sleep. Maybe a cat nap on the sofa would be enough to re-energize me and help me get through the day.

  “WHERE THE HELL IS he?” I stood behind my car waiting for Ethan to show up. If he didn’t show in a few minutes, we’d be late for work. Not that it really mattered, since I worked for my family’s business at Prescott International. I shook my head and decided I might as well put my purse inside the car.

  That’s odd.

  There was an envelope slid underneath the windshield wiper on the driver’s side with my full name on it, Marjorie Bentley. Seeing the last name made me cringe. It had taken a while to get my cheating son of a bitch, controlling, ex-scumbag of a husband to finally sign the divorce papers. I’d been separated from him for over two years, but only officially divorced for one year. It had been harder than hell to track him down to get him to sign the papers once Derrick and Rick had run him out of town. I’d been going by Marjorie Prescott since we’d been separated, but, thanks to a clerical error at the courthouse, I’d had his, James Bentley’s, annoying last name up until a few months ago. So who the heck kept leaving me these notes?

  I shook my head dispelling the evil thoughts running through my mind. Oh, the things I’d like to do to my ex to pay him back for all that he did to me, but I’d never be able to stoop to that low of a level – degradation was not my thing. My family only knew that he’d come between us and that things weren’t as they appeared to be; I never elaborated further. Carol, my psychiatrist and friend, tried to get me to discuss things in detail, but I’ve yet to open up to her or Ethan about what truly went on. God knows he put me through hell and back and I didn’t want to relive it anytime soon, even if in memory. But, similar to Ethan, my nightmares were getting worse too.

  I took the envelope in hand and started to rip into it, when I heard the elevator ding behind me, followed by a deep sensual voice. “I’m sorry, Marjorie. I laid down for a cat nap hoping to get a little rest, and the next thing I knew, I’d slept through my alarm.”

  I turned toward Ethan -- his hair still wet from a recent shower, his jacket and tie undone, his satchel hanging from his shoulder, his cane in one hand and a huge travel mug of coffee in the other. I smiled and laughed, holding up my travel mug. “I see great minds think alike. Don’t worry about it; we’ll only be a few minutes late. To be honest, without the coffee, I wouldn’t be moving this morning either.” You should tell him that you had a hard time falling back to sleep. Between being turned on by his scent and the hardness he’d sported, along with the torment of your past…

  His brows furrowed and his eyes looked deep into mine, giving me chills, because I knew he was the only person who could see through the outer shell of the happy-go-lucky crap I dished out to everyone else. “You had trouble going back to sleep.” It was more of a statement than a question. He knew me too well. How I wish you knew all of me. How I wish we could both take that leap of faith to let ourselves live again.

  I didn’t want to admit it, but there was no lying to Ethan, especially when he gave me that goofy lop-sided grin of his. It was bad enough that he was tall, had a muscular chest, strong arms, and a smile that could melt my panties. But when he looked at me with those intense caramel eyes, staring right into my inner soul, with his hair curling around his forehead in disarray, I had to look away. He was too tempting. If he only knew how much I wanted him.

  I looked down to the ground, not wanting him to see my frustration, w
hile I sheepishly admitted, “Yes. Every time I closed my eyes I would relive…” I couldn’t even bring myself to say the words. He had heard part of the story, but not the horrid details.

  I’d tried to go back to sleep, but his scent had clung to my t-shirt from having hugged him earlier in the apartment. I couldn’t get his scent, a strange combination of aquatic with a hint of citrus out of my mind. It kept turning me on, bringing thoughts of him doing scandalous things to me in bed. I finally had to take a shower to try and cool off. When that hadn’t worked, I’d enlisted the aid of Bob, my battery operated boyfriend, to relieve the tension so I could fall asleep. It helped relax me to the point my barriers went down and my ex, James, entered my dreams, turning them into horror.

  I couldn’t berate him for his tardiness when I’d slept through my alarm, too. I’d had just enough time to take a cold shower, grab some coffee, and make it downstairs to wait for him. I’d been nervous that I’d be late but, instead, we both were.

  I felt a few tears slip out of my eyes. I was trying to contain them, but losing the battle thanks to the lack of sleep and recalling some of the visions of my ex that threatened to resurface. I instantly retreated into my mind, my safe place, when I felt one of his hands come up to brush the tears away. “Shh. No need for tears, hon.” His hand found my chin and lifted my face to where our eyes met. A worried expression was present, “Want to talk about it?”

  I shook my head. I needed to keep it in the past and move on with my life. If only he would leave me alone. Did I tell Ethan that I suspected James was behind some of the strange messages I’d been receiving lately? I quickly dismissed the idea. He had enough problems of his own to contend with. He didn’t need more of my fucked up life affecting him negatively.

  I shoved the envelope into my purse knowing it was probably another threat I’d give over to Derrick or Rick to investigate, motioned toward the car, and put my best face forward. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for being there, handsome. I’m hoping a good night’s sleep will resolve everything.”

  I threw my purse and jacket in the back seat while watching Ethan grab his coffee off the trunk of my car and walk around to the passenger side. I couldn’t help but appreciate the sight of his tight backside. Could you be any more obvious that you want him? Stop staring at his ass. So what if it’s tight enough to bounce a quarter off of. Remember, you’re just friends.

  The drive to work was in silence. Ethan gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek before rushing off to his department. He had a meeting with Nate to finalize some software updates for the Accounting Department and to go over the software they’ve been developing to prevent any future hacking attempts on Prescott International. He was utilizing Sophia’s, Dawn’s mother and former secret government operative, knowledge of hacking to help him develop an impenetrable firewall.

  It was crazy to think how my family’s company was almost wiped out financially by a computer hacker intent on destroying the business. They’d caused my sister, Gianna, and her now husband, Nate, a ton of headaches trying to figure out what was wrong with their reports. It created a domino effect of issues throughout the departments. But the culprits were caught, some order had been restored to the computer system, thanks to Ethan’s mad skills, and now both Nate and Ethan work for the company on a more permanent basis. They also have a software development business on the side.

  My uncle, Alexander Prescott, the CEO of the company and my boss, has invested a portion of our distribution company in the development of technology that can be sold to other businesses, so their risks of being financially drained from hacking can be prevented. He’s been growing the company and diversifying the business more and more, not just with Nate and Ethan’s work but with Dawn’s parents too.

  Dawn’s parents, Ivan and Sophia, had come out of a decade of hiding in the witness protection program. They’d had their previous lives restored, with exception of their government jobs. We still didn’t know the full extent of what they did and didn’t do for our country, only that it was classified.

  As a result of having to hide for so long, they were told they were too out of touch with things to go back to their regular work. However, their friend and former colleague, Tony Caldwell, had been looking to grow his security company, Olympus-Titan Security, putting offices in some of the bigger cities around the country. They offered a variety of services including upgrading current security technology, investigative work, and bodyguard services. It surprised all of us to learn that the head of our family’s security team was Tony’s son, Derrick.

  Uncle Alexander had talked with Tony in detail about putting up some of the money for one of the offices to be located in Orlando. They’d both decided that Ivan and Sophia would be a good match to help run the branch, since they’d already moved to be close to their daughters, Dawn and Erica. The only thing my uncle insisted on was to be a silent partner in running the business. He started by shortening the name to Titan Security, citing it had more appeal. I know Jackson certainly didn’t need another business to market added to his plate. He was already stretched thin with his department. It was fortunate that Marissa’s intern friend, Robin, had a strong background in computers and her brother was in the military, making her knowledge a great asset for marketing Titan. She’d already become invaluable, trying to fill Gabi’s former position.

  I was deep in thought pondering how much had changed in our lives over the past couple of years when my uncle touched my shoulder, causing me to jump. “You look lost, Marjorie. Is everything okay?”

  I wanted to scream out, No, it’s not, but my uncle had been through so much lately that he didn’t need my problems to boot. “I’m fine. I’m just realizing how much things have changed over the past couple of years.”

  He took in a deep breath and agreed, shaking his head. “It’s hard to believe Gabi’s been gone that long. Nicola is looking more and more like her mother every day. I’m very thankful we have a part of Gabi that lives on.”

  I could see my uncle was still feeling the loss. His words made me realize maybe that’s the reason why Ethan’s nightmares, and my own, were becoming more prevalent. I’d escaped from my rat-bastard ex only a month before Gabi and Ethan’s accident. All of us were reliving everything in our dreams. That had to be it!

  I blinked a few times to dispel my thoughts and focus on what my uncle was saying. “I’ll be meeting with Nate, Ethan, and Sophia this afternoon to review their progress on the software. In the meantime, please get me copies of the sales projections from Marissa and find out what the latest marketing concepts are from Jackson.”

  I wrote down his words and had to ask, “On the sales projections, do you want Prescott International only? And for the marketing, which company would you like the ideas for?”

  He nodded and laughed to himself. “I guess we’re getting a bit bigger than I’d planned for. Thank goodness Dane will be transitioning to take over in the next couple of years. Just give me the sales for PI, but I’d like to see the concepts for Titan and PI from Jackson and Robin when they get a chance.”

  “I’ll get right on that.” I was about to offer him some coffee when I noticed he already had a cup in his hand.

  “Thanks, Marjorie. Just bring me the items when you have them. I’ll be reviewing your sister’s latest accounting figures.” He stepped away from my desk and began to enter his office when he suggested, “You might consider having a session with Carol. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I can tell you haven’t been sleeping well. Maybe she can help you.”

  “Yes, sir.” I nodded in agreement. “I plan on giving her a call after I get you the information you need.”

  He smiled knowingly at me. “I’m just playing the card of the caring uncle.”

  “I know.” I was thankful for all he’d done for me and for keeping my secret.

  THE MORNING WAS QUITE productive. Nate and I had worked out the bugs for the accounting software and had the production plans, along with a potential contract w
ith a company to manufacture our software, lined up and ready for Mr. Prescott to approve.

  I was still working on a couple of bugs to the new firewall protection Sophia and I designed. I loved that we all lived in the same building where we could talk about things after work and really stretch the limits of the software. Sophia had been grateful for my role in helping Rafe and Dawn to the point she’d taught me a few “under the radar” maneuvers in hacking high tech software. As a result, we ended up with a more secure accounting system than originally designed and now had an impenetrable firewall.

  I hadn’t realized what time it was until Marjorie called. “Where are you?” She’d asked.

  I’d promised to have lunch with her and figured she probably needed to talk. I hated having to pass her up today. Maybe I could speak with her on a coffee break, which given the lack of sleep we both encountered, would be a definite for both of us. “Can I get a rain check for lunch, but meet you for coffee this afternoon?”

  She’d sounded a bit down, but agreed.

  By the time our break came around, I was desperate for caffeine to stay awake and make it through the rest of the day. I wasn’t surprised to see Marjorie waiting in the coffee shop down the street with two mega size cups of coffee, along with a curious smile. What was she up to?

  “We need to talk.” This didn’t bode well with me. I always hated conversations that started with that. The last few times I’d had them I’d just woken up from the accident, discovered the love of my life moved on, and found out I’d been let go from the company I worked years for. I took a seat and glared, waiting for the worst to come.

  She placed her hand atop mine and gave it a squeeze. “It’s nothing bad, handsome. I just needed to tell you about a phone call I had earlier today.”