Jaguar Sun (The Jaguar Sun Series)

by Bourke, Martha

  “Let’s just eat at our table,” Damian suggested sweetly. That kid had a heart of gold.

  “Yeah, let’s just do that,” Lyssa added.

  We walked back in and sat across the room at our usual jock-free table. Trying to keep everything as normal as possible, we took out our lunches. But Matt kept looking at the guys from the team. I didn’t know what to say. He looked angry, but I knew his feelings were hurt, too. I tried to eat, but my lunch tasted like a pile of sawdust. Even the twins were totally silent the entire lunch.

  Why couldn’t it have been me instead? I mean me, I’m a dork. I totally expected to get the brunt of the bullying. I hadn’t thought that Matt’s friends would turn on him like that. But I should have known. They had only liked him for his status, Matt the Quarterback. Why the hell hadn’t I seen this coming?

  At the end of lunch, we headed down the hall and stopped by my locker. I looked up into his eyes and his face softened.

  “Are you okay?” I asked him.

  “Yeah, I’ll be all right.” He sighed. “It’s not like I didn’t see this coming.”

  Unlike me, he had expected this? Crap! I wasn’t sure if that made it better for him or worse.

  “And, anyway,” he added, “it’s not like football matters much now. I’d never be allowed to play in college, and that’s what I was shooting for.”

  Matt was right, I realized with a start. Shifters were still largely unaccepted in a lot of ways, but out of all of them, sports were the worst. They were able to keep shifters out by claiming that they had unfair advantages, like unnatural strength and speed. It was a lie, of course. When we were in our human form, we didn’t have the same abilities we had when we were in our second form. It’s not like avian shifters were flying around in their human forms. What was hiding at the heart of those claims? Prejudice. And as I looked into his face, I could see that he was thinking the same thing.

  “Well, you could always just be a geek, like me,” I smiled up at him.

  “A gorgeous geek,” he said, and he kissed me.

  Lyssa, who had followed us, groaned out loud. “Hey, enough with the PDA. You make me want to gouge my eyes out already.”

  I hadn’t planned it, but somehow when I got home, I just didn’t feel like taking my ponytail out. After my first day of school as a shifter, I just didn’t want to hide who I was anymore. Besides, at that point, I had other worries to think about. I still had no idea what the deal was with that weird vision I’d had. What was going on? I had never heard of shifters developing other abilities. And I wasn’t sure who to talk to about it either. My first thought was Grandma. Or maybe Victrixa? No. She seemed nice enough, but she’d only been my mentor for, what, two weeks?

  “When did you get home, honey? I didn’t even hear you come in,” Dad said, looking up from his work.

  “Um, just a few minutes ago. Could we, uh, talk about something before I start dinner?”

  “Sure. What’s up?” He opened the fridge and took out a seltzer.

  “It’s...well...it’s more something I need to show you.” I took a deep breath, picked up my ponytail, and turned around.

  “What the hell? Did you get a tattoo? Maya, come on, what were you thinking!”

  “No, Dad, it’s not what you think.” I took another deep breath. “I’m, I’m a shifter.”

  “You’re—you’re what?”

  “A shape-shifter.”

  He looked at my mark again. “But, that doesn’t make any sense. Your mark, it’s the Tree of Life, isn’t it? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I know it doesn’t. It’s a ceiba tree. We’ve been trying to figure that out. Why I’ve got a tree.”

  “We?”

  Crap. “Grandma and I.”

  “Your grandmother? How long have you known about this? Have you phased already? I mean this is...it’s crazy. You’re not even eighteen.”

  “I know. I phased early somehow.” I could see the next question in his eyes, but I didn’t know if he could ask it. It would make the whole thing too real for him. Maybe I had waited too long to tell him? Was I totally messing this up? Balam, please help me make him understand.

  “My second form is Jaguar.” I heard him gasp and then suck in his breath. Balam, make me strong, give me the right words. “Dad,” I said as calmly as I could, “I’m still me. I’m still Maya.”

  He shook his head like he was trying to shake something out, then he kissed me on the cheek. “I know that, honey. This is...well, it’s just going to take some getting used to. Can you be patient with your old man?”

  I smiled at him. “Sure I can.”

  After dinner I decided to call Grandma to see if she knew anything that could help me figure out the weird vision I’d had. I walked into my bedroom and plopped down on the bed and dialed. She answered right away.

  “Hi, honey, how is everything? Victrixa called and told me how beautifully you phased!”

  “Yeah, I guess I did. Something really amazing happened to me last night, Grandma. I found my mate!”

  “That’s wonderful, ts’unu’un. Is it Matt? Has he phased?”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because he loves you! If a Mayan Elder phases, oftentimes the one that is meant for her will phase as well.”

  “Whoa, what are you saying? That Matt phased because of me? He wouldn’t have phased otherwise?”

  “His soul wanted to be with you,” she said. “And because shifters mate only with other shifters, he made the transformation.”

  I thought I was going to puke. I’d turned my boyfriend into a shifter. Or rather my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. Again. Then something else she’d said hit me.

  “But why do you say I’m an Elder? You’re an Elder, Grandma, not me.”

  “Why? Because I’m old?” she laughed. “I didn’t start out that way, you know.”

  “You’re not old, Grandma.”

  “Maya, I want you to listen to me now. It’s not possible to have the strong life force that you have and not be an Elder. In fact, you have more k’ul than anyone I’ve ever known.”

  I didn’t know how to take that. I was quiet for so long, she asked if I was still there. All I could say was, “I’m scared, Grandma.”

  “The unknown is always scary, ts’unu’un.”

  “I know...it’s just that...well, now I’m having visions,” I choked out.

  “Are these visions during rituals, honey?”

  “Um, one was, but yesterday I had one in the school cafeteria. That’s how I knew something was happening with Matt.”

  It seemed like an eternity went by before she answered me. “You know, Maya, that sounds like a different kind of vision. It sounds more like a premonition.”

  Huh? “A premonition?”

  “Some people have the ability to see the past, present or future. It sounds to me like you saw the present.”

  “Is that some kind of shifter or Elder thing?”

  “No tribal Elder that I know could do it without first opening a portal into the Otherworld. And to do that, the Elder would need a ritual. I’ve never heard of a shifter being able to have a spontaneous vision at all.” She was quiet for a moment. “Maybe I should speak with Victrixa.”

  “Thanks, Grandma. That would be great. I’ll talk to you soon, I love you.”

  “I love you, too, ts’unu’un.”

  I put the phone down and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I was totally stressing. I was having weird visions that no one could explain. This just wasn’t normal. And it didn’t help that Grandma wasn’t sure what was going on. All my life, she had known the answers. And then there was Matt. I’d turned my boyfriend into a shifter! How would he feel when he knew that I was the reason he had phased? Would he be angry? Something inside my head whispered that he wouldn’t want to be with me once he knew.

  And I was an Elder? Jesus, were there even sixteen-year-old Elders? I had seen pictures of the Elders from Grandma’s tribe and they all looked like, well..
.like Grandma! I mean, there were reasons why they were called Elders! They had lived long lives and had all kinds of wisdom and stuff. I couldn’t figure out how to balance equations!

  After a while, I got up, opened my door, and yelled for Dad to see if he’d already left for the lab. No reply. So I picked up my cell again and, trying to control my breathing, dialed Matt’s number.

  “Hey, babe,” he said on the first ring.

  “Are you busy?”

  “Not too busy for you. I’m just doing homework. What’s up?”

  “I wondered if maybe you could come over for a little bit.”

  “Sure. Half hour sound okay?”

  “That’d be great.”

  I lay back down on the bed, and I swear I didn’t move until the doorbell rang. I flopped down the stairs and stopped at the door, trying to collect myself. This might be the last time I ever saw him. An image of his tortured face as he told me he was a shifter ran through my mind. I took a deep breath and pulled the door open.

  “Hi, come on in,” I choked out.

  “Hey,” he said. I started walking in the direction of the living room when he stopped me. “What? No hug?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, snuggling into him. “Do you want something to drink? A Coke?” I asked, more to stall than to be polite.

  “I’m good.”

  I led him to the couch and we sat down.

  I had to speak, I couldn’t just sit there. “Um, there’s something I need to tell you, something I just found out.”

  “You’re as white as chalk,” he said. “Maya, what’s wrong? Are you all right?”

  All right? “Well, you know how shifters have only one mate and it’s always another shifter?”

  “Sure. Everyone knows that.”

  “Well, it, uh, it turns out....” Jeez, how could I say this? “It turns out that I’m probably a Mayan Elder.”

  “Really? Well, I guess that’s no surprise. Your Grandma Rosa is one. That’s great, My! I’m proud of you.”

  “Could, could you just let me finish?” I stammered. My hands were shaking, so I tucked them underneath my thighs. “Usually two shifters find each other and they mate for life. It’s almost always two shifters. But, but I’m an Elder and I phased, so you phased too.” I looked into his eyes and waited, waited for the moment that they showed understanding.

  Yep, there it was.

  “So you’re saying that you phased and because I was meant to be your mate, I phased, too?”

  “Yes.” That was all I could think of to say. I looked down at my lap. The tears that had started to run down my cheeks said the rest. But instead of flying into a rage or walking out, he wiped a tear away with his thumb.

  “Did you think I would leave you?”

  “Uh huh,” I said, nodding like an idiot. By now, I was just about ready for full-on snot-a-thon.

  “Maya, look at me,” he said tilting my chin up. “Maybe this is true, maybe it’s not, but if it is, it just means that we’re meant to be together.”

  “But everything you’re going through might be because of me.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Don’t you see? My heart wanted you. And it did whatever it had to do to be with you. I love you, My.”

  “I love you, too.” I sniffled again.

  And then he kissed me. He kissed me in a way he never had before. In a way no one had ever kissed me before. It was hard and deep, hungry. I felt a rush of pleasure that was different from anything I’d ever felt. I reached up to the back of his neck to make sure he didn’t stop. He put his arms around me and lifted me up, then laid me down on the couch. I could feel electricity everywhere our skin touched. I slid my hand down the back of his jeans trying to pull him against me. He moaned. It was like we were channeling the animal spirits within us. We broke away for a moment, panting, looking into each other’s eyes. And I could see that the Wolf was there, but there was love there, too. So much love. I knew then that I would do anything for him. Anything.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  A few minutes later, I saw Dad’s headlights in our driveway as he pulled in. Matt and I walked out into the cool November evening. He took my hand, and I followed him to his car. I felt a sudden pain in my chest with the realization he was leaving. I didn’t want him to go, even though in my head I knew he was just going home. This is what it’s like to be mated, I thought.

  “Maya,” he said, “you have to promise me something. If we ever find out that what you said is true … If we learn that I phased so I that could be with you, promise me that you’ll never ever feel guilty. I would have done anything to be with you. And I still would.”

  “And being Gray Wolf’s not so bad?”

  “I gotta be honest with you, My,” he said with a laugh. “It totally sucks.”

  “Matt, do you feel sort of funny, I mean, about leaving?”

  “You mean here?” He touched the left side of his chest. “Yeah, I felt it the first time the other night, after we first phased together and then we left to go home.”

  “I think it’s because we’re mated, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, it’s like....”

  “It hurts to just think about being apart.”

  “Yep.”

  I touched the side of his face. Instantly, the electricity surged through me. I pulled his neck down and kissed him. It got hotter when he suddenly pulled away. Shocked, I looked up into his face.

  “We’d better not go down that road again,” he smiled.

  “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just....”

  “I know. I feel it, too. It’s not like a normal, human thing. I’ve always wanted it with you, My, believe me, but this is...I dunno….”

  “It’s primal,” I said, finally realizing what was happening. Sure, we were mates in the sense that we were meant to be together for life. Like all shifters. But there was more to it than that. There was a sexual part that seemed so overpowering. It seemed like since we both had phased, I could hardly get near him without needing to touch him. And the pull was getting stronger, I was sure of it. I had no idea how to deal with it. I mean, animals don’t have to hold back. What the hell was I supposed to do, though? Ask Victrixa about it? Hey, Victrixa, why am I, like, beyond horny? Yeah, right. Talk about your embarrassing conversations.

  “Well,” I said after a minute, “we’re definitely going to have to do something about this.”

  “I second the hell outta that!” He laughed and got into his car.

  ~ ~ ~

  Next morning before school, I met the twins in the parking lot. I knew I had to tell them about the vision I’d had, but, honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to it. The more I talked about it, the more it seemed real. But I didn’t want it to be real. I swallowed hard (not that I had any spit to swallow).

  “Hey, guys,” I said, “thanks for meeting me early.”

  “No problem.” Lyssa smiled as Matt walked up.

  “What’s up?” Damian asked.

  “Well, I needed to talk to you about a couple things and I didn’t want to be overheard. Remember how weird it got at lunch when I thought something was wrong with Matt? Well, I haven’t said anything to you because I wanted to talk to my grandma first. Anyway, the reason I knew that Matt was in trouble is because I had a premonition.”

  “What did your grandma say?” Lyssa asked.

  Damian answered for me. “She had a vision.”

  “Does that happen a lot with shifters or with Tribal Elders?” Matt asked.

  “How’s that?” Lyssa asked. “You’re a freakin’ Elder?”

  “Yep. My grandma told me last night that she thinks I might be a Tribal Elder.”

  “No shit! Maya, that is so cool!”

  “Anyway,” Damian said, looking directly at his twin, “I was wondering about the vision myself, so I did a little research.”

  “There’s a surprise,” Lyssa smirked.

  “What’d you find out?” Matt asked.

  “There is no known record of any shifter
having visions unless they were also a Native American using ritual. And, actually, your vision was neither premonition nor precognition because those are always of the future. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a vision.”

  Sunday could not come fast enough. I was beginning to feel kind of desperate. What if Victrixa couldn’t help me figure out what was going on? Or worse, what if she thought I was some kind of freak?

  ~ ~ ~

  “In Lak’ ech, Maya,” Victrixa said, greeting me on the porch.

  “Ala K’in, Victrixa.”

  “So how is everything going? Tell me about this mate of yours,” she said with a mischievous smile. We sat down on the leather sofa in the “artifacts” room.

  “You’ve been talking to Grandma.”

  She laughed. “Of course.”

  “Well,” I said, “his name is Matt. He’s a senior at my school.”

  She smiled again. “Well, that’s handy. Do you have any questions for me? Feel free to ask me anything, Maya. I’m here to help with all of the strange and wonderful things that come with being a shifter.”

  “Well, I was wondering about something,” I began nervously, “I feel like there’s this pull between us. We hate to be apart physically and...uh....”

  “Sexually?”

  I nodded, feeling my face flush. God, this was embarrassing. It felt like we were having “the talk,” except I was sixteen and she was definitely not my loser-mom.

  “That’s perfectly normal. Shifters have a bond with their mate that is different than a human bond. Your bond with your mate truly touches your soul. It’s incredibly powerful. Do you know the human expression ‘soul mate’? That term was originally used by shifters. In reality, we come much closer to it than humans ever could because of our strong k’ul. The expression just sort of caught on. We also feel the instinctual pull of our naguales to mate. So you see, Maya, what you’re going through is perfectly natural.”

  “Oh.”

  “You look like you could use a diet Coke. Let me get one from the kitchen. Are you hungry? I can fix a snack.”

  “That would be great.”

  When she went into the kitchen, I stood up and walked around the room, taking in all of the amazing pieces from Mayan history. I knew I probably shouldn’t touch, but I picked up the vase with Balam on it. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I felt a chill run down my body followed by a crippling nausea. Then there came a flash in front of my eyes that made me suck in my breath.