Adrian grabs my wrist again and tries to pull me back to my feet. “I need to get you outta here.” He shakes his head. “I have a feeling I’m the one that’s gonna pay tomorrow when you remember this whole scene.”
I follow behind him, stumbling every few steps. I may have drank too much. I hear Max talking to Gemma, so I guess he’s taking her drunk ass home.
***
Adrian
It turns out to be quite the task, getting Keegan into my jeep because she keeps trying to climb me… literally trying to climb me. She’s got her hands on my shoulders, and her feet pressed into my thighs, trying to walk up my legs. At one point, I stand still, letting her complete her challenge. Once she’s got both legs wrapped around my waist, she’s smiles triumphantly.
I shake my head, almost forgetting about our fight today. She’s damn cute when she’s drunk and horny. It’s funny how she’s blaming me, as the reason we’ve not had sex. Did she, at some point, change her rules and forgot to tell me?
Once I’ve got her buckled in, I climb in the driver’s seat and start the car. Before I’ve got it in gear, I feel a tug on my shirtsleeve.
Keegan’s looking at me with a mischievous grin. “Ryder told me he wants me, but I didn’t rip my clothes off and jump into bed with him.”
What. The. Fuck. All of a sudden I remember exactly how pissed I was today. She goes from begging me to have sex with her, to telling me another guy, her “future husband,” in her words, propositioned her. I’m not sure what response she expects from me, but I give her nothing.
Keegan fills the silence. “That’s almost like… I don’t know… the cookie monster turning down a cookie.” She lifts one finger to my lips, eyes half lidded. “All I could think about was this mouth, and how great you are with it.”
My lips curl up under her finger. She told Ryder no because of me… and she’s admitting that to me… right now. I’m thinking this drunken night of hers could be exactly what we need.
Hoping she doesn’t sober up anytime soon, I take advantage of her loose lips, not feeling one bit guilty. “That’s great to hear, baby. Why, exactly, do you enjoy about?”
Keegan’s smile falls as she slumps in her seat. “I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m in like with you.”
Well, this is the night that keeps on giving.
Staring at the dash, she slurs. “I don’t wanna like you, ‘cause if I like you, you’ll leave… like they all do.”
Her mood has shifted so drastically, I now feel guilty, but I’m pretty sure it’s not my fault. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I reach over to unbuckle her and pull her onto my lap.
When I’ve got her in my arms, I place one hand at the back of her neck, forcing her to look at me. “I’m in like with you too,” I admit, “And I promise, I won’t leave unless you want me to.”
That’s a fucking lie because I’m not leaving even if she holds her Sig Sauer to my head and threatens to pull the trigger. But this isn’t the time for confessing the depth of my obsession. And, yes, I know it’s an unhealthy obsession, but who the fuck cares?
Keegan blinks a couple times and searches my face. Sighing, she leans in, her lips a breath from mine, and whispers, “Yes you will,” right before kissing me, more gently and sweeter than we’ve ever kissed before.
Chapter 35
It Only Takes One Lie
The next morning, I wake to find Adrian in my bed. I’m confused, about several things, but I have to pee before I can think. I stumble my way to the bathroom, trying to not look at myself in the mirror, but when I brush my teeth I have no choice.
Shit, I look like… well, shit.
After I’m done, attempting to make myself somewhat presentable, I stumble back to my room. I start poking Adrian, telling him to leave. He opens his eyes and I watch as struggles to remember something, probably last night. I don’t know how much he had to drink, but I do know the tequila has erased most of my memories.
“You want me,” he says, talking in what must be delusions. It’s not even eight a.m. for Christ’s sake.
I wrinkle my forehead, but it hurts, so I stop. “What are you talking about?”
He reaches out, grabbing my wrist and pulls me back into bed. I would resist, but I’m still half-drunk and I have a hangover.
“You’re a chatty girl when you’re trashed.” He purses his lips, thinking. “I’m gonna need to remember that little nugget of information.”
I close my eyes, then turn my back to him. I certainly don’t have the patience for his attention disorder right now.
“Goin’ back to sleep. If you like your balls, you’ll be outta my bed by the time I wake up sober.”
I may be warming to the idea of trying this relationship with him, but I have a twin bed, and I need my space when I’m hungover.
He presses his front to my back and wraps an arm around my waist. When his mouth is at my ear, he whispers. “You turned down Ryder because you want me to pull your hair while pounding into you from behind.”
Oh no… no, no, no, no, no.
“And you’re in like with me, more than you’ve been with anyone else since high school.”
My fucking drunk mouth. Feeling all this, for him, is bad enough, but him knowing, well that breaks all the rules to keeping my heart safe.
Adrian goes on, not realizing I’m near vomiting from the stress. “Gotta say, not crazy about coming in second to some loser you dated in high school, but I’ll be in first place soon enough.”
What the hell do I do? I told him I like him… while I was drunk. Everyone knows people speak the truth when they’re drunk. I close my eyes, running through all my options. I could grab my shit and run, then pretend I don’t know him when I see him later. I could tell him to never speak of last night again. Or I could deny those words are true.
I’m on the verge of a panic attack when I realize… this is it. This is where I decide if I’m going to live the rest of my life alone or if I’m going to gamble against the odds, hoping this guy is different from all the ones before.
I sit up, not facing him, and draw in a shaky breath. “That boy from high school,” I tell him, “well, he trampled all over my heart and ruined any trust I had left after my dad and brother broke my heart. So, yes, I do like you, but I’m terrified you’re just like them, and in a month, or a year, you’ll leave me too.”
I feel the bed dip and it squeaks, as Adrian sits up next to me. He slides off the bed and kneels in front of me.
Taking my hands in his, he stares into my eyes. “I can’t predict the future, but I can promise you that I’ll never lie to you, and I’ll never walk away without first telling you why. Now, having said that you need to understand that I’m crazy about you.” He pauses, raising his brow. “Seriously, the way I feel verges on the edge of an unhealthy obsession.”
I stare at my hands, searching for strength. “I know, but I can’t understand why,” I tell him, honestly. “I mean, I’m a bitch, I don’t like people, and I’m not very nice to you.”
He purses his lips, thinking. “You keep things interesting. Besides, I know you’re not truly a bitch, you’re just easily irritated, which happens to be extremely entertaining to me.”
I watch him closely while my thoughts war with each other. I watch him for any sign of dishonesty or manipulation. I do this because it’s what I’ve been trained to do. I want desperately to let go of this fear of abandonment, and my mistrust of almost everyone. I know those kinds of changes don’t happen overnight, but one day at a time.
Closing my eyes, I consider what I need from him to make this change. When I open my eyes, he’s still watching me, giving me time to work this through in my head.
“Actions,” I finally say, “I need actions, not words.” He tilts his head, looking confused, so I explain further. “Words are random thoughts people put together then say out loud. Energy, effort, and heart aren’t needed to say words, but those things are needed for actions. If you want me to trust you,
don’t say words which are meaningless, instead do things that have meaning.”
He nods, then adds, “I can try that, but you have to remember something—I’m an idiot.”
I raise my brow. “How could I forget?”
He winks. “Seriously, I rarely ever say or do the right thing. Even if I take time to think before I act, which is pretty rare, I still fuck up. You have to keep that in mind and don’t leave my sorry ass at my first mistake.”
Making mistakes is different than being deceitful or doing something, knowing it will cause someone pain. I know people make mistakes, hell, I screw up all the time. It’s not that I can’t forgive. It’s that I can’t trust.
“Don’t ever lie to me,” I say, removing any hint of humor from my face. “Giving me words without effort or heart is meaningless, but giving me words without truth is betrayal.”
My mom raised me with this being the number rule in our home. She always used to say, “It only takes one lie to severe the thin thread of trust in any relationship.” In my own life, I’ve learned that it only takes the actions of one man, to cut the thread of trust for all relationships that follow.
“I promise,” he says, his smile growing bigger by the minute.
We stare at each for a few beats before I ask. “So, what does this mean?”
He jumps up and tackles me backward, onto the bed. Leaning over me, staring into my eyes, he says, “This means you’re my real girlfriend. No more pretend crap.”
I’m about to ask him to clarify when his phone rings. He groans and I pout. I want to hear more about what this means. For the first time in years, I’m excited about the idea of having a boyfriend.
Now I feel like the teenager.
Chapter 36
Change Is Good
Adrian sits up and snatches his phone off the nightstand. After a quick glance at the screen, he checks my clock, looking confused. He slides his finger across the screen then answers.
“What’s up, bud?” he asks, making me think it’s one of his brothers.
He listens, undistracted, for several seconds, then replies, “Okay, I’ll be there soon.”
Ending the call, Adrian looks at me, a mix of concern and frustration showing in his expression.
“I need to go home for a while, my aunt’s not feeling well, and the boys are concerned.” He’s explaining this at the same time, gathering his things.
“Is everything okay,” I ask, honestly concerned.
He looks at me over his shoulder, and nods, then his face lights up. “Wanna go with me? You can meet Diane, and the boys.”
I nearly choke on my answer. “Nope, that’s way too fast for me. I need time to get used to all this first.”
Once he has his shoes on, Adrian comes back to the bed and leans over me again. He kisses my forehead, then my nose. “Okay, but when I get back, we’re going to talk more about what’s changing.”
That one statement makes me both happy and terrified.
Once Adrian is out of my room, I slap my hands over my mouth and squeal quietly.
I have a boyfriend. I sit up quickly, thinking I have to share this girly excitement with someone. Shit, Gemma and Shy think we’ve been dating, making that less of an exciting announcement, and more of a long explanation.
Robert’s at his parents for the weekend, so I text him.
Me: Guess what?
Robert: I don’t play that game, it’s ridiculous.
Me: Fine
Robert: Oh hell, what??
Me: Adrian is my REAL boyfriend now.
Good lord, I am like a teenager.
My phone rings, almost instantly, and I answer it to hear a squealing Robert. We spend the next half hour replaying my conversation with Adrian. Robert sulks for a few minutes, finally accepting his has no chance at getting Adrian to switch teams. After his pity party, he demands that he be my maid of honor at the wedding. I roll my eyes and wonder how I’ve surrounded myself with people with such extreme personalities.
***
Adrian
After checking on Diane, who, it ended up, was having another migraine, and doing some grocery shopping for the boys, I drive back to school—back to Keegan.
Now that’s she’s finally let down a fraction of her guard, I need to show her she can trust me… oh and that she can’t live without me.
There’s one huge problem I need to deal with—the file I have on her, sitting on my computer, sent by my private investigator.
Of course I looked at it. I wasn’t smart enough to let Walt review it, tell me she’s all clear, and move on. No, my dumb ass had to open it and read all of her life story, including the parts I’m sure she’s not ready for me to know.
I grip the steering wheel hard, thinking about her reaction when I tell her, “Oh, by the way, several weeks ago I sent out my PI and had him dig through your entire life, take notes, then send it to me.”
Christ, she’s gonna hate me.
After her plea today, that I never lie, I almost confessed it all. A huge part of me wanted to get it out there, let her yell, and then we’d move on. I’m just not sure she’ll be able to move on. So, I told myself it wasn’t a lie, simply an omission of information. Someday, after she understands my dad and the lengths he’ll go to in order to get what he wants, then I’ll tell her. That may be several years from now after we’re married and living in another country for her job. Yep, that would be a good time because it would be difficult for her to leave me. Great, that’s decided.
Now I need to get back to Keegan so we can consummate this new relationship. I need to show her all the reasons she can’t live without me.
***
When I get back to the apartment, I head straight to Keegan’s room. It’s already dark, so she has her desk light on, as she sits working on her laptop. Once I’m through her door, I close it, locking it behind me.
I’m tempted to pick her up, throw her onto the bed, and end this torturous dance we’ve been doing, but I know she needs more. I cross the room and sit on the edge of the bed. When she spins her chair to face me, she’s smiling and I see the playfulness in her eyes. I’m not feeling playful, I’m fucking horny. I try something different to help her see where my mind is.
“Stand up,” I say, my voice firm. She wrinkles her forehead, confused at my tone but does what I ask.
“Now, take off your shirt,” I tell her, my voice still firm.
“What?” she asks, not yet understanding my intent. I see the moment it all becomes clear because her eyes darken, and her face softens.
Grasping the hem of her shirt, she lifts it over her head and tosses it to the floor. She begins to take a step toward me, but I hold up a hand to stop her.
“Your shorts,” I say, nodding toward the intrusive item.
As she moves to unbutton and remove her them, I see the mistake I’ve made in all my past sexual encounters. The sex was good, but this build up, the teasing and waiting, is going to make it fucking amazing.
When her shorts land next to her discarded shirt, I lift my chin to her. “Come here,” I say, and watch the desire grow in her eyes as she closes the distance. When she’s standing a few inches away, I place my hands on her hips, stroking her perfect skin with my thumbs. Eye level with her stomach, I know she expects me to begin kissing her there. Instead, I drop my hands and move to stand too.
I cup her face with one hand, wrapping my other arm around her waist, pulling her flush against me, as I kiss her. A small moan escapes her as I turn us, backing her legs against the mattress.
“I’m gonna break the rule you set the first night we made out. Gotta problem with that?” I ask as I lie her down on the bed, pulling down one side of her bra, taking a nipple in my mouth.
“What?” she gasps, arching her back.
After a few seconds, I pull down the other side of her bra and move, taking her other nipple, biting gently this time.
“Your rule of no sex, remember that?” I ask, flicking my tongue.
/> “Uh-huh,” is all she can manage.
I smile, loving how she gives in to everything she feels. “Well, that rule’s outta play now,” I inform her, as I tuck my thumb in her panties and begin to slide them down.
“Um,” she says, then pauses as she licks her lips. “That rule was outta play for me that first night. You just never pressed it.”
I knew that but needed more from her than an agreement to be my pretend girlfriend.
“Great,” I say as I move down, positioning myself between her thighs. “Now, put your hands over your head and grab the headboard.”
I hear a small whimper as she reaches over her head, and she presses down, trying to make contact.
I lick, and tease and suck, until I hear her breaths become frantic, as she searches for release, I pull back, and ask, “You wanna come in my mouth, or on my cock?”
I’ve always fantasized about talking to a girl this way, but never would’ve done it without Keegan’s permission, via her lady porn books. I can’t say I learned from those books, as much as got permission to do everything I’d ever wanted to do.
“Your cock,” she says, looking at me with heavy lidded eyes.
Holy shit, hearing her say that one word is hotter than watching a hundred, hard-core pornos.
After one more, long hard lick, I pull back and sit up on my knees. As I reach toward the nightstand for a condom, I feel her shifting beneath me. Before I’ve got the condom in hand, I feel her press one hand against my abs, then her other wraps around my cock, causing me to release a groan of pleasure.
Her hand on my stomach urges me to back up, forcing me off the bed, and onto my feet. The condom falls from my hand when I see her move from the bed, onto her knees in front of me. Of course I’ve gotten head before, but never from a girl on her knees, staring up at me, while she licks me, looking like she’s enjoying giving it as much as I love receiving.
Our Kinda Love Page 13