I watch, with carnal desire, resisting the urge to grab her hair and drive into her warm, perfect mouth. When she reaches for my hand and places it on her head, encouraging me to direct her, I consider falling to my knees and asking her to marry me again. I maintain my composure, barely, for a few amazing minutes, before I pull out. As much as I’d love to watch her swallow, and I have no doubt she would, I need to be inside her tonight.
I step back and nod toward the bed. “On your back,” I say, and she goes without argument.
I pick up the fallen condom and move toward her as I open it and roll it on. She watches me, unashamed, as she lies on her bed, bare but the pale blue bra we’ve yet to remove.
I place one hand on the bed next to her, as I guide my cock to her entrance with my other. I lean down and kiss her gently. We’re staring into each other’s eyes, silent but saying so much, as I slowly slide into her.
Chapter 37
Friend Request
The rest of the week, Adrian and I can’t get enough of each other. When we’re not in class, we’re together. I finally let myself enjoy being with him—no protective shield. I think I’ve smiled more this week than all last year combined. It feels good.
What also feels good is the amazing sex we’ve had every night this week. If I can give one tip to every girl out there, it would be to share your favorite smut books with your boyfriend. Obviously I can’t say what Adrian’s sexual skills were like, prior to the education, but I can say that sex with him now is like living any one of the steamy scenes I use to only read about. He has no shame in the fact that he’s still learning, actually, yesterday he took another of my books so he could “add to his expertise” —his words, not mine.
Today, which is Saturday, Robert and I are studying for a quiz at his apartment. I’d much rather be trying out some new moves with Adrian, but I have a big test on Monday.
When my phone chimes, I recognize it as a Facebook notification. I’ve never assigned any specific ringtones to any app or person, so mine are the same as all the other people who don’t care about the noises their phones makes.
Getting bored with chemistry jargon, I stand to stretch, pop a grape in my mouth, and accept the distraction. When I open the app, I see it’s a new message, which means I have to close that app and open the messenger app. I groan, I’m entirely too lazy to have to go opening and closing applications.
When I finally get to my final screen destination, I almost drop my phone, seeing that Jack Maxwell has sent me a message.
“Holy shit,” I say, or maybe yell.
Robert, still staring cross-eyed at his text, mutters an automatic “What.”
The grape I was eating gets stuck in my throat when I gasp in shock. I try coughing to get it back up.
“Oh my God,” Robert says, holding up both his hands up. “Are you choking? I can’t do the Heimlich, I would have to touch your boobs, and you know I’m allergic.”
I’m finally able to get the fruit dislodged on my own.
“You’re willingness to sacrifice yourself, to save my life, makes me tear up.”
Robert waves at me. “Oh, you probably have something in your eye. We both know you’re not capable of crying. Now,” he says, moving on, “What was so shocking?”
I stare at the tiny picture of the man who definitely looks like the boy who walked away from me four years ago. Ironically, the first thing I think of is—why the hell have I never thought to look him up on social media? Of course the second question is—what does he want? I guess all I have to do is tap on that notification and his words will be right there. Why have I not done that yet? Why am I still staring at my phone instead of reading this message?
I tap and read, all the while shaking my head in shock.
“Whaaaaat?” Robert draws out, poking me with his pen.
I hold my phone up to Robert’s face. “I just got a message from my ex-boyfriend. The only guy to ever break my heart, ex-boyfriend,” I clarify.
Now extremely interested, Robert yanks the phone from my hand. “Give that to me.” After reading the message, he looks at me, eyes wide. “The one who left you with no explanation?” he asks and I nod. “He wants to see you,” he says, repeating what he read.
“I know,” I say, obviously having already read the message.
“This week,” he clarifies.
“I know.”
“He wants to talk,” he goes on, repeating the rest of the message.
I close my eyes and drop my head onto the back of the couch. “I know.”
I feel bile roll up my throat, so I swallow it back down. Why? Why would Jack be contacting me now, after more than three years? Then there’s the big question—am I going to see him? The thought brings the reemergence of the bile, burning my throat.
I just started a real relationship with Adrian. My first relationship since Jack, and now he wants to talk.
I feel Robert move closer and when I open my eyes, he’s practically in my face. “Tell me everything about this mysterious Jack. How did he break your heart, and please tell me he’s a bad boy. I mean, I know that’s your type. I want to hear about the bad boy who broke your heart.”
“Your sympathy is overwhelming,” I deadpan.
He purses his lips and pets my head. "You're right. I'm sorry for the pain and heartache you experienced at the hands of this boy. Now, please tell me exactly what happened with him.”
I roll my eyes. "That was still horrible, but I'll tell you anyway."
Roberts sit's up and claps like a two-year-old. "Yay."
I feel like an old woman about to tell the story of the one that got away.
"The summer before my senior year, this guy shows up at the coffee shop where I worked. I lived in a small town, so when somebody new came through you know they're new. It's the middle of summer and he comes in wearing leather. I mean a leather biker jacket. You know me, I'm instantly in love. Over the next couple weeks, he came in almost every day, and I learned that he was nineteen and had just moved to town with his family. He’d already graduated from high school and he wasn't sure he was going to stick around."
I don’t mention that two weeks was the amount of time I lasted on that job.
I can smell the coffee and see him as he walked through the door that first day. He was still only a boy at nineteen, but in my seventeen-year-old eyes, he was a man.
“We went out on couple dates.” I go on, “Before long we’re official. Of course, my mom wasn’t crazy about him, but she knew better than to tell me no because I probably would've jumped on his bike and ran out of town. We spent the rest the summer together, and that's when I lost my virginity."
Chapter 38
Stop Petting Me
Robert’s eyes go wide again. "So he's a badass biker dude and he was your first?" He drops his head onto the couch. "Shit, Adrian’s screwed."
I smack him on his chest. "What are you talking about?"
He turns to look at me, brow raised. "Are you going to tell me you haven't thought about how fast you can walk away from Adrian if Jackie boy wants another roll in the sack?
No, I hadn’t thought of that. A few months ago, maybe I would’ve considered letting Jack back into my life, but now… now I just want Adrian.
“Do you want to hear the story or not?" I ask, not wanting to dissect my feelings for Adrian.
Robert nods like an anxious puppy. “Shit yes I do."
"Okay, so he stayed in town I started school and he got a job working with a construction company, but he spent most of his free time practicing guitar, even when I was around. He wanted desperately to hit it big in the music world, but he was realistic about the chances."
Robert groans. "He plays guitar too?"
I ignore his question. "Then one day, he’s gone. I get a text saying he has some things to take care of and he probably won't be back. Not even an ‘I’m sorry I'll miss you terribly, I'll call you soon.’ Nothing. I go to his mom’s house and the only thing I get from her
is a look of sadness as if she’s seen it a hundred times."
I knew that first day he wasn’t coming back, but as a love-struck teen, it was my right to believe he’d come back to me.
Robert reaches over and pets my head again. "Oh honey, I'm sorry."
I reach up and smack his hand. "Stop petting me. I'm not a damn dog."
Robert holds up both hands. "I'm sorry, but I've got to be honest, I don't know how to take care of you." He wiggles his fingers at me in some uber gay gesture. "I mean, shit girl, you should be all whiny and crying about shit like this. I just don't know what to do.”
"Shut up and listen okay?" I snap.
Robert huffs. "You don't have to be mean about it."
"Well, I'm certainly not going to admit to crying over him, especially now," I say, gesturing wildly. "But, I was a mess for a while after he left.” That’s the understatement of the century, but Robert doesn’t need to know the rest. Only a couple of people know the story of my life after Jack Maxwell drove away that spring.
"What’s he been up to?" Robert asks, interrupting my memories.
"I don't know. I haven't talked to him since he left that day." How is this not obvious to him?
"And you haven't Googled him?"
I wrinkle my nose. “Why would I do that?"
"Oh honey, then you were never truly in love. Me,” he says, pointing to himself, “I’ve Googled all of my exes, and the big love of my life, well, I check his Facebook status at least once a week. You know, that way if he checks in someplace maybe I can drop by.”
This sounds like an episode of Stalker.
He opens his laptop and begins typing, oblivious to my concern for his mental health.
“First let's start with his Facebook page." He turns to look at me. "I'm guessing you're not friends with him since you have no idea what he's been up to." I shake my head. Robert sighs and shakes his head.
"Girl, you know you’re kind of a disappointment to the female race."
"Because I don't stalk my ex-boyfriend's?"
"Yes, that's exactly why." He turns to look at me from head to toe. He gestures at my chest. "And because you have that amazing body and you don't use it to manipulate men."
We find nothing but his Facebook page, and he has his privacy pretty tight. If I want answers, I’m gonna have to see him.
"Well, what are you going to tell Jackie boy?” Robert asks, slamming his laptop closed.
“I’m going to tell him yes.” As much as it hurt when he left, I need answers and there are some things I need to tell him too.
Robert tilts his head in challenge. “How’s Adrian gonna feel about this?”
I sigh and drop my face into my hands. “Like a jealous psychopath,” I answer. Hopefully, this new development in our relationship will help him to feel less threatened by my ex-boyfriend coming to visit.
Chapter 39
It’s Just Lunch
Robert wakes me the next morning by jumping on my bed—literally jumping on my bed. He’s standing on my bed jumping up-and-down, singing Good Morning to You. I swipe my leg under his feet causing him to land on his ass with his legs straight out in front of him.
"That was awesome, can we do it again?" he asks with way too much cheer in his voice.
"No, but you can leave and let me go back to sleep.” I may not have a hangover, but I feel like shit.
I responded to Jack’s message last night, agreeing to see him. He shocked me again when he told me he’d come down the next day, which is now today. Which means, I’m going to meet Jack for lunch… today.
I’d planned on telling Adrian about Jack’s message, and our now lunch meeting, last night. When I got home from Robert’s, he was gone. He texted me later explaining his aunt had another migraine, so he needed to help with boys.
I went back and forth all night, debating whether or not call him and tell him over the phone. In the end, I decided this was a face-to-face conversation.
I lift my head to look at the clock. He should be back soon, and I have to tell him about Jack, just a few hours before Jack actually gets here.
“You can be such a buzz kill sometimes,” Robert says, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Good morning,” Gemma says as she enters the room, making me feel sicker. Gemma doesn’t know about Jack yet either.
Robert smacks my leg to get my attention. “How did it go when you told him about Jack?”
I press my lips into a hard line and glare at him. He had to go and make my morning worse.
"What?" His face contorted in oblivious innocence.
"What. About. Jack?” Gemma asks, emphasizing every word.
Gemma was around when I dated Jack, when Jack left me, when I found out I was pregnant, and everything that came after. She was there, supporting me through the most difficult time of my life. So anytime Jack's name has been brought up since, she becomes like a mama bear, watching for him around every corner, ready to attack.
I continue to glare at Robert, not having the patience to argue with Gemma this morning, but she’s not willing to let this topic drop.
"Keegan, what about Jack?"
Realizing his mistake, Robert grimaces. "Was I not supposed to mention the Jack thing?" he asks in a useless whisper because Gemma is only two feet away.
"Keegan," Gemma says, this time clenching her teeth. "I swear to God if you don't answer me right now, I'm going to go downstairs and take something out of your survival hoard, and you'll never know what it was."
"Fine," I yell, slapping my hands down on the bed. "Jack messaged me yesterday on Facebook. He asked if we could get together because he wants to talk to me about some things. That's it."
Gemma throws her hands up in the air in frustration. "That's it? Are you serious? The boyfriend who walked away and left you in tears and—" she pauses glancing at Robert.
I subtly shake my head, letting her know he doesn’t know everything.
With a clipped tone, she asks, “What did you tell him?”
I drop back onto the bed in a huff. "I told him okay. I mean, it would be kinda nice to get some closure on all that."
"What, you're going to tell him… everything?”
I close my eyes and begin rubbing my temples, feeling a headache coming on. "Hell, maybe he already knows. Maybe that's why he contacted me."
Robert clears his throat. “Um, I think I’m missing something.’
I give him a pleading look. “There’s more to the Jack story than I told you, but I just can’t talk about now.”
I trust Robert, but I’m not ready to talk about what happened. I think about it all the time, but discussing it, telling the details to someone, is a whole other level of pain.
He pouts a little, but I can see the understanding in his eyes.
Gemma goes back on the attack. “You don’t need to see him.”
How does she know what I need? “Whatever, it's my life,” I say, feeling exhausted with this conversation.
"Wait," Gemma says pointing at me accusingly. “Does Adrian know? And, when are you going?”
I shake my head. “I was going to tell him last night, but he stayed at Diane’s all night. I’m meeting Jack for lunch today.” I cringe because I know she’s gonna blow.
She pushes herself up off the chair, shaking her head with disappointment. "You know Adrian's going to lose his shit,” Then she turns and practically stomps out of my room.
When I look at Robert, he lifts his shoulders almost up to his ears and grimaces again.
"I think she's kind of pissed," he informs me, making himself the proud new owner of the captain obvious title.
Chapter 40
Does Your Friend Have A Dick
Two hours later, and Adrian still is not home. It’s almost time for Jack to get here, so I text Adrian, for the fourth time.
Gemma is rattling around in the kitchen, still pissed at me, when Adrian finally blows in the front door. I jump up, needing to talk to him fast. He rushes to me, w
rapping me in a hug, then gives me a quick kiss.
“Sorry, Diane was being stubborn and the boys were being… well, boys.” He smiles down at me. “Did you eat yet? I’m hungry.”
Shit, this is going to be really bad.
“Adrian,” I begin. “I need to talk to you about something.”
He drops his arms from around my waist, grabbing one of my hands. “Ok, talk while we drive.”
I pull my hand from his and take a step back. I’m starting to panic—maybe from fear of his reaction or fear of having to see Jack or both.
Shaking my head, I say, “I can’t.”
He furrows his brow with confusion. “Why?”
I close my eyes and draw in a long breath. “I’m going to lunch with an old friend.”
When I open my eyes, I see Gemma enter the living room. When I glance at her, she’s scowling at me.
Adrian doesn’t miss our exchange. “What’s that? Why are you two looking at each other like that? Who is this you’re going to lunch with?” he asks, sounding panicked.
“I told you, it’s an old friend.” That’s the truth. Jack and I were friends… while we were dating.
Realizing what’s going on, Adrian narrows his eyes at me. “Does this friend have a dick?”
I reach out for him, needing to drag him to my room where we can talk. Before I can say more, there’s a knock at the door.
Are you fucking serious? How is it that this scenario is playing out in all the worst ways possible?
Adrian spins on his heels and rushes to open the door. When he sees who’s standing on the other side, he slams the door closed again.
“What the hell?” I yell as he turns to face me.
Adrian knows of Jack, but he has no idea what he looks like, so why does he look like threatened by the guy on the other side of that door?
Adrian shakes his head, eyes wide in fear. “You’re not going anywhere with him.”
How did this go so wrong? From the minute I decided to meet with Jack, I had full intentions of telling Adrian, I just didn’t get the chance in the last twenty-four hours.
Our Kinda Love Page 14