by Tiana Cole
“Then I think little girls like you might get dehydrated on purpose.” She pinched her cheek with a loving smile.
“No way, Mommy, this is the worst.”
“What seems to be the problem?” Caine breezed in with a tired smile that froze at the sight of Cassia in a hospital bed. “Cassia! What’s the matter?”
She pointed to her stomach with the world’s most perfect pout on her pink lips. “My tummy hurts.”
“She’s been fatigued and easily tired. Two days ago the nausea started and it got worse while we sat in the waiting room. They gave her ice chips to make sure she doesn’t dehydrate.” She could totally do this. That was painless and perfectly civil. Yep, everything would be alright.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Or not. Voice perfectly calm and modulated, Zara sent him an emotionless glare. “I just did.”
He let out a choked strangling noise and glared at her. Zara didn’t respond. “Fine,” he bit out, and turned to Cassia. “How are you feeling, kiddo?”
Cassia shrugged. “I’m okay. Tired and hungry and sick.”
Zara stood back and watched as he worried over the little girl and her daughter soaked up all the love and attention she was getting. It was a nice scene, one Zara hoped would be repeated in the future. Just not in front of me.
“Alright, let’s check you out and see what’s going on.”
It took hours to take blood and other fluids, several temperature checks and a bunch of other tests that Zara sat quietly beside Cassia in support. It was all she could do, and she hated it.
“A moment, Zara?”
She joined him just outside Cassia’s room. “Can I take her home?”
“Yes.” He searched her eyes, for what she didn’t know. And didn’t particularly care either. “Her condition is worsening like we knew it would. The good news is the last few tests should be in no later than next week.”
She nodded and sagged in relief that he would still be Cassia’s donor. “Okay, what’s the bad news?”
“She’s going to get worse, and it is going to scare the hell out of you.”
She nodded, already feeling terrified beyond belief. Watching a sick child had to be one of the circles of hell, leaving a parent feeling so helpless and useless. Unable to stop the pain. “I can handle it.” Zara’s parents had always been there for her and if she needed to she would lean on them.
He reached for her and she took a step back without thinking. Her brain was probably protecting her silly little heart. His face crumpled in pain at her action but Zara fortified herself against him. “I want to help.”
“You are. You’re giving her a part of you.” For which she was eternally grateful, just not ready to forgive him for hurting her yet again. “Speaking of, shouldn’t we be meeting another doctor since you won’t be her doctor?”
He nodded absently as though he were somewhere else.
“So will you discharge her so I can get her home?”
He nodded and began typing something on the medical tablet he held. “Can I come by and see her later?”
“Sure.” She could get some work done while they visited. “Call first.”
His expression softened when he nodded. “Can we talk tonight? I have a few things—”
“No.”
“But I just want—”
“No. I’ll see you later.” She slipped back into the room and waited. And waited. An hour later, they were at home with Cassia tucked on the sofa reading and Zara in the kitchen making soup and biscuits.
It was a peaceful evening even though her mind swirled with what ifs that she couldn’t control. What if the last test came back negative and Caine couldn’t donate, would Cassia last until a new donor was located? She couldn’t think about it, yet she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Blowing out a breath, she looked up and found way too many biscuits.
“Mommy, Dad is here!”
Zara groaned. “Did you let him in?”
There was silence before she heard a quiet, “Yeah.”
“Okay.” There was no need to go out and greet him, even though her mother would give her an hour long lecture for such bad manners. Sliding the biscuits in the oven and setting her timer, Zara busied herself with cleaning and wiping and arranging things.
“Need some help?”
Don’t turn around, dammit. Don’t. Do. It. “Nope, I’ve got it. Just visit with Cassia.” He was still there. She could feel him.
“Do you think I could get something to drink?”
Damn him. “Sure. What would you like?”
“Zara.” His voice was firm, commanding.
Her body tried to respond but she shut that shit down. Nope, not on my watch. But she did turn to face him. “What is it?”
His smile was playful. “Hi.”
“You want something to drink?”
“Water will be fine,” he said, dejected, and went back to Cassia.
Thank goodness. What was his problem anyway? She was doing them both a favor considering the way he’d left her and then the radio silence afterwards. She could be throwing a fit and causing all kinds of drama, but no. She was being civil. Polite, even.
And he was being weird.
She took water and tea to the living room. “Here you go, guys.”
“Thanks, Mommy. Can Dad stay for dinner?”
Like she would say no now. “Sure.”
By the time dinner was over Zara’s head throbbed from the base and she was ready to crawl into bed and close her eyes. Cassia had barely made it through dinner before falling asleep, and since she couldn’t very well kick the man out in the middle of dinner, they ate together. In silence.
“Can we talk now?”
She heaved a sigh. “What do you want to talk about, Caine?”
“I owe you an apology for running out on you like that. There’s no good excuse but I freaked out.” When she didn’t respond he went on, “I didn’t know if I could turn everything around so quickly, or if I even should.”
Of course. “Stop. It’s fine, Caine. I didn’t ask you for any of that so you can stop worrying. Our focus now needs to be on Cassia.”
“We both need to be there for her. She needs us. Can you do that? Can you let me be there for our daughter without the tension?”
“There is no tension, Caine. But you hurt me, so don’t expect that I’ll act like we’re old friends. It won’t be awkward as long as you remember that.” She stalked off to her bedroom, not at all concerned about Caine. He could sleep at her kitchen table or leave. She didn’t care.
When she woke up the next morning, Caine was gone.
Chapter 13
Caine wore a goofy grin on his face as he carried his loot up the stairs and waited for Zara to answer the door. Or maybe it would be Cassia. Every day he stopped by, he hoped to see her face on the other side of the door first because it meant she was feeling better. But for more than a week it hadn’t been his little girl. It was her hurt and angry mother.
“Come on in,” she sighed, her face completely exhausted and worried.
“How’s it going?”
“She’s not better but she hasn’t gotten worse. She’s looking forward to seeing you today.”
If only her mother felt the same. “I have a few things for her. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s fine.” She waved him down the hall. “You want something to drink?”
“I’ll have a tea if it’s not too much trouble. Oh, and can you put this in the fridge?” He watched her hips as she and the silver box disappeared into the kitchen.
“No trouble at all.”
Zara was dead set on ignoring him, pretending he was invisible. It hurt like hell but he’d done this to her. To them. With a resigned sigh he went to see Cassia. “Hey! I hear someone has her appetite back.” She clapped when he stepped into the room.
“Dad, I didn’t know you were coming by today.” Her smile wasn’t quite as bright as normal because the poor thing was exhauste
d, but it was still the prettiest smile he’d ever seen.
“Well, I missed you and then I thought of something we could do today.”
“What?” Caine’s favorite thing about his little girl was her enthusiasm. Whether it was learning something new, trying something different or surprises, she was always up for it.
Caine heaved the big box filled with presents to the foot of her bed and gave her a wink. “Well, I was thinking that neither of us has anything to do so we could celebrate some of your missed birthdays.”
Her smile was genuine. “You didn’t have to do that.”
His brows dipped in confusion. “You don’t want them?” he asked, dangling a pink bag with the number one emblazoned on it.
“I do.” She held a hand out for the bag. “Thanks Dad.”
God, that never got old. Ever. “You’re welcome, kiddo. Open it up.”
She peeked inside and squealed. “A Kindle? So cool!” Waving him down, Cassia cupped his jaw and kissed his cheek. “Thank you so much!”
He smiled and handed her another.
“How many did you get me?”
He shrugged, feeling a hint of color rush up his face. “One for every birthday I missed.”
A tear slipped from those tired green eyes and she stood on her knees, squeezing his waist tight. “I love you, Dad. This is so great.”
That moment was the best of Caine’s life. To have done something to bring such joy, such a beautiful smile to his daughter’s face. She looked at him like he hung the moon. “I love you too, kiddo.”
“Mommy!” she yelled, and he turned to her with alarm.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s so pretty I want Mommy to see it.”
“What’s wrong, Cassia?”
“Look what Dad got me for my birthday.” She held up the sea-green confection with a big satisfied grin.
Zara set down two cups of tea and eyed the dress. “It’s very pretty.” She gave Cassia an indulgent smile, never looking up at him.
“But where will I wear it?”
Caine cleared his throat. “Well, actually, I thought you could wear it out. We’ll have a nice dinner and all get dressed up. What do you say?”
“Sounds fun, right, Mommy?”
“Sure does, honey.” She listened with a polite smile as Cassia told her all about the gifts for missed birthdays. Caine watched closely, feeling his heart swell as Zara’s expression softened and she looked up at him. “That’s very sweet of you, Caine. I’ll leave you guys to it.”
He wanted to stop her, to call her back and join them so they could enjoy this moment as a family, but he couldn’t. He hadn’t earned that right. Not yet.
“She’s sad but she says she isn’t.” Cassia’s soft voice sounded sad and worried, and Caine felt another pang of guilt. “I think it’s my fault.”
Just when he thought the guilt he carried couldn’t get any heavier. “I think she’s just worried.”
“I don’t know. I just want to make it better.”
“Do you think cake would help?” He’d do anything to take that haunted look off her face. It worked.
“Yes! Let’s go.” She held his hand as she slid off the bed. “You’re a pretty good dad, I’m glad you found me.”
“I am too, Cassia.”
~
“Only you could find fault with a man making up lost time to his child. I swear you love to borrow trouble.” Zara sat at her mother’s kitchen table sipping tea and eating too many lemon cookies.
She sighed, knowing her mother was right. “I’m not finding fault with it or him.”
“You’re just not moved by it?” She did nothing to hide her skepticism.
She shrugged. “It was a sweet gesture and Cassia loved it. For that I’m grateful and happy for both of them. But it has nothing to do with me.” It was a move that had cemented his relationship with their daughter and yes, it was heartwarming and sweet and it even made her fall a little harder for him. But none of that mattered because he walked away.
Her mom shook her head, chuckling to herself. “Girl, you are bound and determined to keep that man at arm’s length. I just wish I knew why.”
This wasn’t something she really wanted to talk with her mother about but it was the only way to end this conversation and future ones on the same topic. “He’s a runner, Mom. I can’t give my heart or my trust to someone who could cut and run at any time.” She’d given it a lot of thought while she puttered around the house trying hard not to listen to the conversation between Cassia and Caine. It was hard and still played with her emotions.
But she was strong.
“Men get scared, child, that’s what they do.” Brenda patted her hang gently. “You have to show him there’s nothing to be scared about.”
Zara blew out a long, exhausted breath. “I don’t have the energy for that, Mom. I have to focus on Cassia, her recovery is going to take some time.”
“His will too,” she added with a hint of reproach.
“And that’s the other reason nothing can happen. Once he’s out of the hospital, he’ll be staying with us so I can care for him and Cassia while they recover. If he’s a sufficient match, that is.” Any day now they would find out if he would be the one to save Cassia.
“He will be. With those eyes so alike, you know he’s a match.”
Zara blinked and then laughter erupted from her, shaking her body violently. “And to think, you were a school teacher. You know that’s not how it works, don’t you?”
She shrugged defiantly. “Do you know how it works?”
“I do, and I know that matching proteins isn’t guaranteed by sharing eye color. In some cases, neither parent matches enough proteins, and I’m hoping we don’t fall in that category.”
“I’ve said my piece, now you do what you think is best. For everyone.”
As if she could ever do otherwise. Her whole life she’d been thinking of what was best for everyone but her. That’s my problem, never thinking of myself. Now, though, Cassia needed her strong, well-rested and full of energy. The next few months, maybe few years, would be difficult, and Zara needed to be strong for two. “I will, Mom. Thanks.” She stood. “I have to go put in a few hours at the office. I’ll be back in five hours. If anything happens, call me. Anything.”
“You know I will.”
With a quick hug for her mom and another, longer hug for Cassia, Zara made her way to the office. She had three patients and two group sessions before her day was over and she needed to focus on the other kids who relied on her to help heal their little minds. As soon as she got word on Cassia’s surgery she would take a leave of absence, only keeping her two most critical patients. It would be a hard few months but it was all worth it as long as her daughter was alright.
“This is good. Fine, even, when you think about it. Cassia gets to live and she gets a dad.” Dealing with Caine for the rest of her life was a small price to pay to see that smile on her daughter’s face. To watch it grow into the slender beautiful face of a woman and mother.
By the time she sat down behind her desk, she had her game face on and she was ready to get through the day so she could get back home to her kid.
Exactly six hours later she walked into the crisp early evening air and stopped at the sight of the tall, gorgeous man leaning against her car. “Caine. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
His smile came slow and steamy, affecting her body in a way she didn’t want to think about. “Is it a pleasure to see me?”
Her gaze narrowed, certain she hadn’t imagined the way his voice pitched lower on the word pleasure. “Why are you here?”
“I need to talk to you, and I knew you wouldn’t unless I forced your hand.”
She nodded. No more being childish and ignoring him. They needed to talk. “Okay, fine. Meet me at home, I need to pick up Cassia first.”
“About that.” He smiled and she felt her insides tighten with arousal. “My car is at your place, which is whe
re I’m hoping we can go to talk. Then I’ll pick up Cassia while you get started on dinner.”
Zara looked at him, wishing she didn’t still love him. Wasn’t still attracted to him. “You’ve got it all figured out. Hop in.” He did, and in no time at all, she was in the warmth of her living room and Caine was starting the fire. “Hot cocoa?”
“With marshmallows?” His brows arched adorably as he asked the question and she couldn’t help but smile.
“Is there any other way to have hot cocoa?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” She mixed the chocolate and milk slowly and then poured it into two mugs. “I’d like to talk to you about something first. You haven’t given me an answer about staying with us after the surgery. The doctor said it could be as little as a month or as many as six to fully recover. I want you to stay for as long as it takes.”
Silence hung between for so long she began to shift uncomfortably in her seat. Maybe he’d planned on hiring someone to care for him in his own home. That was what she would want, to recover at home. In peace.
“You don’t have to accept, Caine, but the offer stands.”
Green eyes seared through her, full of longing and desire and something else she couldn’t name, but it was intense. “You mean that?”
“Of course. You and Cassia can get better together.” She smiled because he seemed so shocked. “If you want.”
“Thank you,” he rasped out, voice thick with emotion. “I would really like that.” His face morphed into a smile. “That would be really great actually.”
When her body relaxed she realized she’d been holding her breath. Waiting for him to accept. “Great. As soon as you get word you should pack a few bags of things you know you want with you and I can get whatever else you need as you need it.” Blowing out a deep breath, she buried her face in her cocoa.
She looked up at his grunt. “Not that I don’t appreciate your offer, because I am one hundred percent accepting it,” his smile was innocent and almost boyish, “but you kind of stole my thunder.”
She frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“The reason I came to you to talk is that I got the final test back and I’m a four protein match. We’re good to go.”