The Boyfriend of the Month Club
Page 35
Grace cringed. Speedway had replayed their interaction every morning this week. Apparently, Grace made for good radio.
“I heard you chipped your tooth again. Let me see.” He came up to her, very closely, and gently tilted her orange-head piece back with the fingers on his free hand, the one that wasn’t holding the flowers. Grace automatically opened her mouth. “What happened this time?” he asked.
“Popcorn kernel.” Her heart was beating faster than Grace thought humanly possible. “I never told you how I chipped it the first time, did I?”
He shook his head.
“I was trying to open a shrink-wrapped tampon.”
The expression on Joe’s face was priceless. He laughed and shook his head as if to say that could only happen to you. “I could fix it. If you want.”
“Actually, I think I’m going to leave it the way it is. You were right. I’m really the only one who notices it.”
“It’s kind of cute, actually.”
“Joe—”
“I brought you something.” But instead of handing her the flowers, he reached inside his pocket to produce a piece of paper. “I thought about mailing it, but then I figured I might need to explain a few things in person. I’m not as good with the bullet points as you are.”
Her knees felt like rubber. She glanced down at the paper, but she was too afraid to look at it.
“Go on,” he urged. “I promise, Grace, it’s not going to hurt.”
She unfolded the paper and began to read. “Number one: Punctuality.” There was a ten written next to it. She looked up at him, confused.
“I don’t ever remember you being late for a date.” He shrugged. “Some girls are bad about that.”
“What is this?”
“It’s a girlfriend satisfaction survey. I figured I owed you one, in case you ever think about being a girlfriend again. Then you’ll know what areas you excel at, and where you need to improve.”
She cleared her throat. “Number two: Nag Factor. You gave me a seven,” she said incredulously. “Please explain yourself.”
“See . . . this is why I wanted to do this in person. If you look at the back of the page you’ll see I went into some specific dated examples. Nag Factor is like when I’m driving and you tell me to slow down. Or when we’re ready to go out and you tell me to go back inside and change because there’s a hole in my sneaker and it looks bad. That kind of stuff.”
“Okay . . . I suppose that’s a fair score.” She went back to reading. “Number three: Displays Affection. You gave me a 9.”
“I would have scored you a 10 except for the time we were in the movies and I wanted to make out and you said we weren’t sixteen. But other than that one time, I think you were very accommodating.”
Her face went warm. “I agree.” Her gaze skimmed through the remainder of the list, then rested on the last point, highlighted in yellow marker.
Overall Score. There was nothing next to it.
“That one’s still in the air,” he said quietly. He handed her the flowers. “But I’d like to see if we can hit that one out of the ballpark.You know how I feel about those tens.”
“Really? Because . . . I have to warn you, Joe. I have this awful temper and I’m a little weird, and—”
“A little? Grace, you’re wearing a giant piece of citrus on your head and talking to a plastic alligator. You think I don’t already know that you’re weird?”
“Joe,” she said, her voice scratchy with unshed tears. “I’ve missed you so much. You were right. I was never really your friend. But I want to be, even though I don’t deserve it. I think I was just scared to have everything all rolled up in one person. I want door number one, Joe. And I want door number two, and God, you have no idea how much I’ve missed door number three.”
“I’ve missed you too, Grace. But I have no idea what you’re talking about. What the hell are these doors?”
She laughed. “I’ll tell you later, because right now I really just want to kiss you, Joe.”
In the end, she had to get Joe’s help to pull the orange-head piece off. (Had it been this tight earlier?) She walked into his arms, squeezed her eyes shut tight, and kissed him. Right there in front of Florida Charlie’s with the alligator looking on. She’d get Gator Claus’s opinion on that later, she was sure.
Joe wasn’t a Wickham. And he wasn’t her Mr. Knightley, or her Laurie (thank God), or even her Heathcliff. He wasn’t anybody someone else had made up in their head.
He was just Joe. And that was more than good enough for Grace.
Flan De Queso
(This is the flan my mother makes. Simply delicious!)
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 (12 ounce) can evaporated milk
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
½ cup sugar
5 eggs
Pinch of salt
2 cups sugar (for the syrup)
Combine all the ingredients (except the 2 cups of sugar) in a blender and set aside.
In a large skillet, melt 2 cups of sugar over medium-high heat until the sugar completely melts into a syrup. Pour the syrup into a baking pan with a circle in the center (like a Bundt pan), making sure to cover as much of the pan’s surface with the syrup as possible. Let it set for a few minutes. Carefully pour the liquid egg mixture into the pan over the set syrup. Place the pan inside a larger pan filled with an inch of hot water (a baño de Maria) and place the whole thing in a 350 degree oven. Cook for 35 to 45 minutes until set. Let cool to room temperature and chill well. Before serving, let the chilled flan sit out on the counter for about 20 minutes (so the syrup warms up a bit), then flip it onto a plate, letting all the syrup drip over the custard.
the boyfriend of the month club
READERS GUIDE
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Discuss some of the incidents that Grace’s spiritual alter-ego, mal genio, gets her into. Why do you think she blames them on the spirit instead of herself? Do you think Grace is indeed inhabited by Mal Genio at times, or is it an easy excuse for when she gets herself into trouble?
2. Do you think Mal Genio has anything to do with the curse Grace believes has been cast on her love life?
3. Discuss the O’Bryan family dynamic and how it changes over the course of the book, especially with Pop as Grace’s boss.
4. Why do you think Penny said no to Butch’s proposal initially? Discuss how and why things changed by the end of the book.
5. Why does Grace fight her attraction to Joe so much, especially in the context of the story?
6. Why do you think Grace isn’t swayed by Brandon’s apologies of roses and Dom Perignon? Is it a point of pride for her or more?
7. Grace feels guilty about knowing about Craig’s infidelity before his marriage to Sarah. How does that guilt manifest itself in their friendship?
8. Do you think the description of the Boyfriend of the Month Club as a “woman’s empowerment group” is apt?
9. Do you believe in Grace’s quote of “never say never” when it comes to men and dating? Was it smart of her to give Brandon a second chance, and do you think he redeemed himself in her eyes?
10. Do you agree with most of Ellen’s assessments of the men discussed in the club, especially Joe? Have you ever dated someone who fits a literary archetype?
11. Who is your favorite literary leading man or woman and why?
12. Do you think fate was at play to connect Grace and Joe? Did her relationship with Brandon confuse that or did it act as a contrast to what she truly was looking for?
13. Why isn’t Grace ready to introduce Joe to her family as her boyfriend? Do you think it has to do with his description of being dubbed a Wickham by the Club or is there another reason behind her hesitation?
14. Do you think most women want a hero in their lives, and might this be why the women deviate to literary heroes and villains in the Club?
15. Do you agree with Mami’s qu
ote: “I don’t think you should put a timetable on happiness”? Was the Vegas elopement the right move for Sarah and Charlie? Why or why not?
16. Do you think the second chipped tooth was the sign Grace needed to realize she and Joe belonged together? Were there other signs she ignored?
17. Discuss how fate has worked for the characters’ love lives in the novel.
18. Why do you think Grace has always been afraid of true love in the past? Do you think she is finally willing to let the idea of the curse go? Will Mal Genio disappear as well?