Under the Sassafras

by Hattie Mae

  “No, I love you more,” he called out as the small boy disappeared around the corner of the hall.

  ###

  “Thank you, Possum, for getting me out of there. I thought I would go mad.” Joelette walked with her friend.

  “It’s always hard to see someone you love go on with their life and leave you behind.” Possum put his arm around Joelette's waist. “This is going to be hard, on everyone, but we need to count our blessings for William's good fortune. It still sounds so strange to call him that. William makes him sound like a stranger.”

  “He is a stranger. William, as he is called, is not the same man that lived with us these few months. And to set the record straight, I do not love him. Whatever gave you that idea?” It was a lie and she knew Possum would call her on it, but she hoped that if she argued the point enough eventually her heart would agree with the words. Sadly, it didn’t.

  “Joelette, my friend, everyone can tell the minute you look at him. It's okay. He's a very good man.”

  “He's a married man. I must look like a fool,” she said with a shake of her head.

  “That you cannot help. No one can control their heart.”

  “I cannot help what? That I look like a fool, or that he is married?”

  “Oh no you don't. Stop putting words in my mouth. You cannot help that he is married. Looking like a fool comes naturally.” Possum grinned at her playfully and nudged her with his elbow.

  Joelette laughed. “You sure know how to turn a woman's head with all that sweet talk.” She took a deep breath, then fisted her hand so tightly her nails cut into her palms. “How are the boys going to handle this? Ozamae's loved him from the moment we found him in the swamp. T-Boy's just started loving him. He thinks he's a real live hero. This will devastate them.

  “We will just have to keep them busy so they don't think about him. After T-Boy recovers, he can help me on the boat. No heavy stuff, just something to keep him busy, that will help him forget.” Possum paused a moment, then added, “I’m not convinced that even if Mansir leaves, he’ll be gone for good. He obviously loves you too.”

  “I will not break up a marriage,” Joelette said firmly.

  “That’s not what I was suggesting.”

  They were quiet for a moment, the sounds of their steps on the gravel path, kept a rhythmic beat. “Is that how we forget Possum, staying busy? I hope that’ll work because right now I don’t think I’ll ever forget him. I don't know how I’ll ever say goodbye.”

  Sara and Mansir didn’t hear Joelette when she returned home, their laughter rang out from the front of the house. But she heard them. Voices familiar with each other. A tinge of jealousy crept into Joelette’s being. It was ridiculous, being jealous of his sister. Still, she couldn’t help but think about how Sara would always have his past and present, and now Joelette would have neither.

  ###

  Sara turned to her brother. “This is quite a family you've found. Tell me everything, how did you end up here? Do you remember?”

  “A little. I remember so much more since seeing you, but there’s a lot that’s still foggy. I remember driving late at night. I started to get sleepy and I decided to pull off the road and get a room for the night. If you noticed when you drove here this is a very remote place. After I turned off the main road I wandered down road after dirt road hoping one would take me to civilization. It was the middle of the night, no one was around.” He closed his eyes and tried to visualize that night so long ago.

  “Something darted out in the road and I tried to miss it and ran off a small bridge. It all happened so fast.” Rubbing his temples, he sighed. “I don't remember anything after that until I woke up in this house.”

  “How did you get here?”

  William saw the look of concern and wonderment in his sister's eyes. “They found me, Joelette and her two boys. Together they put me in the bed of the truck and brought me to this house and MaeMae. She's a healer. You know, kind of a doctor and nurse all rolled into one, but homeopathic. They nursed me back to health.”

  “Didn't you see a real doctor?” Sara asked, a deep frown on her brow.

  “Joelette brought me to a doctor in a neighboring town. Dr. Adams is the one who diagnosed me with amnesia. He is also the one who suggested that I stay with Joelette and her family until I regained my memory.” He shrugged. “I didn’t have any other resources, no money, no job. And it took a few days for my head injury to heal up. So I offered to work here in exchange for a room and food.”

  Memories of those first few weeks flooded back to him. “Sara, these are good people. I have learned so much from them.” He chuckled. “I’ve learned so much about myself, I know that must sound strange considering I didn’t know who I was.”

  “I’m happy you found a safe place with people that you have grown to like. I’m so happy they took care of you. William, I’ve never been so afraid. I thought I’d never see you again.” She reached over and took both of his hands in hers. “I looked and looked. No one remembered seeing or hearing from you after the party at your house. It was like William Matherson had disappeared off the face of the earth.”

  “Maybe he did Sara. I think that William is gone. Something changed me, this place, the accident, this family.” His breath became shallow. “I was running from something, Sara. I can't remember that part, but I was running from something or someone. I remember wanting to get as far away from California as I could.”

  “But why Louisiana? Why so far away?” Sara searched his face. “William, you don’t know about Marion do you? You don’t know what happened to her?”

  He took Sara's hand in his and kissed the back. “The past is still a little shaky for me. It’s returning, I remember so much but there are still holes.” He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. “Marion. The name sounds familiar to my tongue but I can’t seem to see a face.”

  “Oh William, I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know if I should tell you things or let you remember on your own.” She squeezed his hand. “Why don’t we go to bed and tomorrow morning call your doctor and ask questions. I don’t want to do anything to make your progress stop.”

  “Let's go in my room and you can take a shower and stretch out. I do have other questions, if you don't mind staying up a little longer.”

  “I'm not tired, really. I could talk to you all night. Or do you think we are bothering someone?”

  “Why don't we at least move to the sofa?” he said.

  Sara took off her shoes and propped her feet on William’s lap, and then she leaned back on the opposite end.

  Sara stared at him and smiled. “Look at you. You have never looked better. Healthy, happy and a real tan not the kind you get from a booth. Have you been working out?”

  “Not working out per-se, but rather labor-intensive work and I've loved every moment. I can say I've never been this content. The not knowing these last few months has just about driven me crazy. How awful it must have been for you not knowing where I was. I would never have put you through that hell if I’d a choice.” William looked over at Sara to see she’d nodded off. She’d been like that since they were children. Always wanting to stay up late with him. She’d tell him she wasn’t tired and then she’d fall asleep fifteen minutes into whatever movie they’d put on. “Hey, Sara, you need to go to bed. We can talk tomorrow.”

  William left Sara asleep on his bed and then went out onto the back porch. Marion. Something had happened to Marion, Sara had said. The vision of the blonde woman materialized in his mind and she turned around. He saw her face and immediately knew who she was.

  Marion, his wife.

  Sara had been afraid to tell him something about her. He wanted to wake his sister and find out, but he wouldn’t. His memories were coming back now, perhaps this would too. By morning he could remember everything. Tonight he didn’t have to know everything.

  The one thing he did know was before he and Sara went back to California, he’d finish the field. He had a
promise to keep.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Joelette opened her eyes. Her first thought: Mansir was back in her house. Her second though: He wasn’t Mansir anymore and today he’d leave.

  She tossed on a robe and rushed into the kitchen, but it was empty. Everyone was still asleep or was already doing their regular routine. She poured herself a piping hot cup of coffee and sat at the table. This is what everyone hoped for, that Mansir would be able to return to his life. It’s what she wanted, didn’t she?

  “Good morning, is that coffee I smell?” Sara asked, stretching as she walked into the room. “I slept like a log, even if William and I talked half the night. Did you sleep well?”

  Joelette was fascinated how Sara looked so different than her brother, but yet she could already tell that they were very much alike. They both had far too cheerful personalities for this early in the morning.

  “Good morning, Sara. I just poured myself a cup. I’ll get you one.”

  “No, I can wait on myself. Just point me in the right direction for the cups. You have done quite enough for my brother and me.” She grabbed a mug from the cabinet Joelette pointed to and poured herself a cup. “I really don’t know how I could ever thank you enough.”

  Joelette's face warmed. “It was no more than any other family would have done. Is your brother still asleep?” Joelette asked, not able to call him by his real name. That would be admitting he belonged in another world.

  “No. He mumbled something about getting an early start and a promise he must keep and left the room before sunrise. He is a man of his word. Always has been.”

  He was a man of his word, this much she’d come to know about him. Was she a promise to be kept? She knew too late she wished with all her heart it could be more. One kiss was all she had to remember him by, that and working side by side with him in the field, and all the things he’d done for her family.

  “I don't mean to be rude, but I need to see if I can help him,” Joelette said. “If you’ll excuse me. MaeMae will be in momentarily. She and Ozamae are probably out feeding the animals.” Joelette had nearly made it out of the room before she remembered. “She leaves breakfast in the oven. Please help yourself.”

  She couldn't dress fast enough. She had to work beside him one more time. Every time she looked at that field, she would have the satisfaction knowing they did it together. She hurried, each step bringing her closer to Mansir.

  They'd talked about this day many times as they’d worked side by side. Today, they would finish removing the old growth and prepare for the new. She watched him pull at the last undergrowth in the field. As he tugged on the weeds, she felt the pull on her heart. He straightened his long lean body and surveyed the field.

  “You’re up early this morning. I thought you’d be packing up to go to California,” Joelette said as cheerfully as she could manage, but instead it came on the edge of tears. Thankfully he didn’t seem to notice.

  “I wanted to finish the field. Besides, Sara and I are not planning to leave until tomorrow. She called and made plane reservations for eleven in the morning.”

  Mansir put down the hoe and wiped his forehead with his bandana. “To tell the truth I wanted at least one more day here. It's going to be hard leaving all this behind. I also wanted to be with you when we tell T-Boy. You shouldn't have to face that alone.”

  Oh, God, T-Boy had already lost enough.

  He shook his head. “Joelette, I never thought we would have to say good bye. I thought–”

  “Stop, please stop.” She bit her lip and dug her nails into the palms of hand to fight back the tears. “Nothing can change what happened. We knew from the beginning you’d eventually remember. This is a good thing, and we should be overcome with happiness.”

  He took her into his arms as the tears began to slip down her cheeks. “Then why don't I feel happy? Tell me that, Joelette.”

  She clung to him, allowing herself one last feel of his warm body. She would remember the smell of him mixed with the rich scent of freshly tilted dirt. Tomorrow, someone else would hold him, but right now in her field, he was hers. She would hold him until he let go.

  She felt his chest move as he inhaled deeply. Felt his heart pounding against her cheek. How could she survive the rest of her life without ever again feeling his heart beat beneath her cheek? How had she gone this long without it?

  “I smell that sweet smell,” he whispered as she felt his hand shift through the strand of her hair. “I thought they had stopped blooming,” Mansir whispered as he kissed the top of her head.

  “They have.” Was he doing it, too? Trying to stash away a lifetime of memories from this one embrace? “But I always rinse my hair in dried Sassafras blooms and leaves. Didn't I ever tell you that?”

  He pushed her back just a little so he could see her upturned face and smiled. “No. How long were you going to allow me to think I was crazy?”

  “I knew that someday you would catch on, but we ran out of some days.” The spell broken, Joelette pushed free. She had to be strong. “Why don't we finish up that last corner and go see T-Boy?”

  “You're the boss. Did you see Sara this morning or was she still asleep when I got up.”

  “Yes. She has the same annoying habit you have of being too cheerful in the morning, but I really like her. Is she all the family you have?”

  “All that's left. Our parents are both gone. Sara and I have always been close.”

  That hadn’t really been what she’d been asking. She wanted to know about his wife. But she didn’t know how to ask.

  The rest of the morning they worked in silence. Not like before when they talked about what the day would hold for everyone. The work finished in less than two hours, much too soon for both of them. They stood side-by-side sweat dripping down their face and back and surveyed the fruit of their hard work.

  “I wish I could see this field covered in Mamou bushes. You'll have to send me a picture.”

  Joelette had not expected he’d want to keep in touch. Once he returned to his real life, he would be too busy to do so. Not to mention she doubted his wife would be too happy with them communicating. A clean break would be easier for her. In fact, it might be the only way to make the break bearable. “I don't know if I can. We'll have to wait and see. Coming?”

  Laughter poured out of the house as Joelette got closer.

  Mansir walked beside her. “What do you want to bet, that laughter involves Ozamae?” he said.

  “I wouldn't take that bet, I know you're right. He does have a way of making people laugh. I think that must be Sara laughing, the two of you laugh the same.” She would miss his laughter.

  They opened the screen door. Sara, MaeMae and Ozamae sat at the table with Ozamae's carved animals spread out. In his hand, he held an alligator.

  “Don't tell me you've been telling stories on me. Have you, sport?” Mansir put Ozamae on his lap.

  “I told her about you running away from the gator. Sara thought it was funny. Didn't you, Sara? Tell him about your daddy making things with wood too. Tell him.”

  Sara was still laughing. “I would have given anything to see you and your long stick-legs run away from an alligator.” Sara pushed the unruly curls out of her face. “What a sight you must have been.” She picked up the carved alligator. “You came by your fear of alligators at a young age. Remember how dad teased you about some book he read you about an alligator when you were small? I can't remember the name but it scared you so bad you threw it in the toilet.”

  “You would have run, too, and don't try to tell me differently. I do remember Dad teasing me, that went on until my teen years. But what's Ozamae saying about something dad made?”

  “The animals you carved. Dad used to make us things like that. Remember? He's the one who taught you,” Sara said.

  “I knew I must have learned to carve somewhere. I also remember why we called you Grace more than we called you Sara.”

  “Did you forget your name too?”
Ozamae snuggled closer to Sara.

  “Grace is a name people sometimes call someone that's a little clumsy. Sara is a real name.” Mansir patted Ozamae's head.

  “Oh, I get it.”

  Joelette and Mansir’s eyes met across the table. A sad smile pulled her lips.

  “This morning is flying by,” Joelette said. She came to her feet and wiped an invisible piece of lint off her shirt. “I want to see T-Boy before lunch. Possum said he would stay with him until I get there. I'm going to go take a bath and change.”

  “Remember, I'm going with you. I'll meet you at the truck.” Mansir stood and turned back to his sister. “I need to talk to you a moment, okay?”

  After a quick shower and a change of clothes Joelette started for the front porch and stopped when she saw Mansir and Sara’s heads together in a quiet conversation. She took a breath and stepped outside.

  “You ready” she asked Mansir. She stepped off the porch and headed for the truck.

  Mansir climbed in with her.

  Without saying a word to him, she put the truck in reverse. It sputtered and backfired all the way out of the driveway.

  She looked over at Mansir as he gazed out the window at the land. Land he told her last month he had grown to love.

  “This is not going to be easy, Joelette.” He cleared his throat. “T-Boy has just started trusting me.”

  “Tell me Mansir, what part of this is easy?”

  ###

  “He's not coming back? I know,” MaeMae said. “He told me his goodbye while Joelette was bathing. We decided not to tell Ozamae until T-Boy returns home tomorrow. You've got a good man for a brother, Sara.” MaeMae motioned Sara to sit beside her on the porch. “Tell me about his wife. Are they a good match?” she asked.

  “How did you know he was married?” Sara asked. “He doesn’t seem to remember her. I mentioned Marion to him last night and he had no recollection.”