The Unwanted Wedding

by Barbara Cartland

  The Duke seldom drank port and after dinner he left the dining room with Honora.

  When they reached the drawing room, the butler poured a little brandy into a large glass and handed it to his Master on a silver salver.

  The Duke accepted it and, as the servant left the room, he put it down on a side table and said,

  “I have something to suggest to you, Honora.”

  She had moved towards the piano and was intending to play it as she had the previous night.

  Then she had played him a piece by Chopin and one by Schubert before he had said,

  “Now play me something of your own.”

  “I-I feel rather shy at following the great masters. You are bound to think my work very – inferior.”

  “I think actually it will tell me a great number of things that you are too shy to tell me yourself,” the Duke replied unexpectedly.

  Honora looked at him in surprise before she said provocatively,

  “Perhaps that would be a – mistake.”

  “I thought we were to have no secrets between us.”

  “Some things are too – secret to tell– anybody.”

  “Those are the ones I want to hear.”

  “Why?”

  He hesitated for a moment before he answered,

  “Play to me and I will tell you afterwards.”

  “Now I shall certainly be very careful what my fingers say,” she smiled.

  He sat listening to her until she said,

  “I think as I am a little tired I should go to bed.”

  “Yes, of course,” the Duke agreed vaguely.

  She had thought that he was thinking of something else and did not like to ask him what it was, but she had wondered about it when she was in bed.

  Now this evening she came from the piano towards him saying,

  “You sound serious.”

  “I am,” the Duke replied.

  She was looking, although she did not seem to be aware of it, very lovely in a gown of pale blue gauze.

  It was the colour of the summer sky, but instead of being decorated conventionally with pink flowers there were little bunches of small white rose buds that were not yet in bloom.

  It occurred to the Duke that they were in fact symbolic of Honora herself.

  These few days when they had been alone had told him, as he realised on their wedding-night, that she was not only very young and completely inexperienced but also innocent to the point where she did not even recognise evil, although undoubtedly her instinct could sense it.

  It was this innocence that made him know that he wanted to protect her from women like Aline Langstone until he had awakened her gently to the realities of life that she would have to face sooner or later.

  Because he was silent, Honora said in a small voice,

  “What – is it? Have I done – something wrong?”

  “No, of course not,” the Duke answered.

  He put out his hand and taking hers drew her down beside him on the sofa.

  As he did so, he felt a little tremor go through her and his fingers tightened as he said,

  “We have been very happy since we came here, Honora. I am therefore suggesting, unless you dislike the idea very much, that we should go somewhere where we can be even quieter than we are at the moment.”

  She looked at him in a puzzled way and he added,

  “I am rather afraid that while we are here people will drop into see us.”

  He saw a faint colour come into her cheeks and she looked away from him as she said,

  “I – heard that Aunt Aline came – here this evening but – that she did not – stay long.”

  “No, she came to leave some wedding presents for which we have to write and thank immediately,” the Duke said firmly.

  “She – she did not want to – see me?”

  “She had no time.”

  “I-I am – glad.”

  The words were spontaneous and then Honora added,

  “You may think it – wrong of me to say that –but this is such a happy house and I-I was afraid that she might – spoil it.”

  “As I have no wish for her or for anybody else to do that,” the Duke said, “I was wondering, Honora, if you could care to go to Scotland?”

  He saw her look at him in surprise and he explained,

  “I have a house in the North of Sutherland which I usually visit in August or September. It is quite comfortable although rather small and you might think it isolated. But at this time of the year there are a lot of salmon in the river and the heather will be just coming into bloom.”

  He spoke a little apprehensively and then saw an expression of excitement on Honora’s face as she exclaimed,

  “I would love above all places to go to Scotland with you! Papa used to tell me how much he enjoyed being there and – it would be wonderful to see it with you.”

  “Then we will go there immediately,” the Duke said, “and certainly the most comfortable way to get there, and the quickest, will be by sea.”

  “That would be even more exciting,” Honora agreed. “Oh, thank you for thinking of anything so marvellous!”

  The Duke did not relinquish her hand and now, as he held it in both of his, he said,

  “Did you mean it when you said just now that it would be wonderful to be in Scotland with me? Am I important to your happiness?”

  “But of course you are!” Honora answered. “You have been – so kind and so – understanding these – last few days that I feel – ”

  She stopped as if she felt that she was going to say something wrong and the Duke urged her softly,

  “I would like you to finish that sentence.”

  She shook her head and then he said, still very quietly,

  “Look at me, Honora!”

  There was just a little pause before she obeyed him and he knew that she was feeling shy.

  Yet at the same time a little tremor he could feel coming from her hands told him that, as if for the first time, she was conscious of him as a man.

  “Shall I tell you something?” he asked and his voice was very deep.

  She was listening, her eyes on his, as he continued,

  “You tell me you have been happier these last days than you have ever been before and I feel the same. I think what we have both been feeling, Honora, is the awakening of love.

  It was impossible for her to take her eyes from his and, as he saw the colour creeping up her cheeks almost like the dawn creeping up the sky, he thought that it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

  Then, as her fingers tightened on his and he knew that she was finding it hard to breathe, he said,

  “I love you, darling, but I have been afraid of telling you so in case I frightened you.”

  “I-I am not frightened,” Honora said, “but – are you sure – really sure that you – do – love me?”

  “I want you to tell me what you feel about me.”

  Her eyelashes were dark against her pale skin and it was impossible for her to look at him before she replied in a hesitating little voice,

  “Everything we – do is so perfect – so exciting – and at the same time – so thrilling which is – something I have – never known before.”

  “And what do you think makes it different?”

  For a moment he thought that she would not tell him the truth.

  Then she said in a whisper,

  “It is – because you are – there.”

  “My precious, that is exactly what I feel about you.”

  He moved towards her, putting out his arms to draw her closer to him.

  As he felt her whole body quiver, he knew that this was something he had never known before in the whole of his life.

  He had never felt as if he held someone sacred close to him, someone that he wanted to protect and look after for ever.

  He drew her closer and still closer.

  Then he asked,

  “You are sure, quite sure, that you are n
o longer afraid of me?”

  “I love you!” Honora said. “I did not – know that love could be – like this.”

  “What is it like?” the Duke asked, his lips very close to hers.

  “It is part of the sunshine – music – the loveliness of the flowers and trees – and of course – the sky,” Honora whispered.

  Her last words were almost incoherent and he knew that it was because she was wanting him to kiss her.

  Then, as his lips touched hers, he knew that her softness, sweetness and innocence was something he had never imagined he would find.

  It was perfect and so very different from anything he had ever known before.

  He kissed her gently, as if she was infinitely precious.

  Then, as her body seemed to melt into his and he knew that she surrendered herself, his lips became more possessive, more passionate.

  When he raised his head he said softly,

  “I love you, my precious, adorable little wife! Tell me what you feel about me.”

  “I – love you!” Honora said. “I love you until you – fill the whole world – and there is – nothing else but – you.”

  The Duke kissed her again.

  “When did you – first know you – loved me? “Honora asked when she could speak.

  “When I carried you upstairs after you fainted, I knew that I wanted to protect you and never let you be in any danger again.”

  “And afterwards you were – so kind – and understanding.”

  “I thought you needed me, my precious.”

  “I – did.”

  “After that,” the Duke went on, “I fell more and more in love every moment I was with you and I can no longer keep it a secret.”

  “Please tell me – tell me – that you – love me.”

  The Duke kissed her until a little while later he pulled her to her feet saying,

  “Shall we go upstairs, my adorable one?”

  He felt her draw in her breath and he said quickly,

  “I promise I will not do anything you do not wish me to do, but, darling, though kissing you is very very wonderful, it is only the beginning of love and I have so much more to teach you.”

  She hid her face against his neck before she said in a voice he could hardly hear,

  “I – want you to – teach me – I want you – now that you love me – to give me a – baby.”

  “There is no hurry,” the Duke smiled. “At the same time, my adorable little wife, I think if we do have one and it is born of our love, it will be very beautiful.”

  “Very – very beautiful!” Honora agreed, “because everything I am – feeling and I know you are feeling too, is so – exquisite and so – glorious that it could only have come – from – God.”

  As the Duke felt there was nothing he could say in words, he said it in kisses. Equally he knew what she had said was true.

  In the past there had always been a fiery desire leaping into flame between himself and a woman.

  Yet vaguely, although he had not put it into words, at the back of his mind he had known it was not real love – the love the poets wrote about, the musicians composed for or the artists painted.

  Now, as if for the first time, he understood all those things. He had found them, although it seemed incredible, in one small person who was still a child as yet unawakened to womanhood.

  He knew as he kissed Honora that to awaken her from a bud into the full bloom of a flower would be the most exciting as well as the most marvellous thing he had ever done.

  She was, he thought, what every man sought and longed for, a woman who was his own, untouched and unspoilt, not only by other men but also by women.

  She was his and it was like having a perfectly clean sheet of paper in front of him on which he could write.

  He thought what he wrote would be his contribution to life, which could be good or bad, according to the way he wrote.

  The importance of his task made him for the moment feel apprehensive.

  It flashed through his mind that he was ashamed of his past and the many things he had done which now seemed tawdry, second-rate and unworthy of his own ideals.

  Then he knew that just as he must make the future perfect for Honora, the past must not reach out to affect her in any way.

  As he kissed her, he prayed, as he had not prayed for many years, that he would not fail her.

  “I love you!” Honora cried. “I love you – love you! You are everything I dreamt of and thought I had lost for ever – when I had to – marry you.”

  “Are you sorry or glad?” the Duke asked.

  She gave the little chuckle that he loved.

  “How can you ask such a – ridiculous question? Very very – glad!”

  Then she gave a cry.

  “Supposing because I was so afraid of you and you – hated me, I had become a – nun?”

  The Duke did not reply, he only kissed her fiercely and insistently as if he was afraid of losing her and was making doubly sure he had not done so.

  Then, as if what they wanted was quite unnecessary to put into words, they moved towards the door and went up the stairs, hand-in-hand.

  When they reached Honora’s bedroom, they just looked at each other with a smile and again they knew without speaking what the other wanted.

  The Duke went to his room where his valet was waiting and Honora went to hers.

  Because she thought she was tired and did not wish to talk, Emily undressed her quickly and in silence.

  When the maid left her, Honora lay back in the large bed to wait for the communicating door to open.

  Now she felt a strange excitement that was like little shafts of sunlight seeping through her body and they seemed to move to music that was playing all around her.

  It was part of the music she had already composed, but now there was a new melody sounding through it, a melody that was a paean of joy and wonder that seemed to reach towards the stars in the sky outside.

  The door opened and the Duke came in.

  Honora could feel the moment she saw him how much he wanted her, how much he loved her and yet at the same time she knew that he was afraid of frightening her.

  For a split second she felt almost protective towards him and she held out her hands saying,

  “I was – waiting for – you.”

  The Duke closed the door and came towards her.

  “That is what I hoped you would say, my darling. Last night after you had played to me it was an agony I can never express not to come through the door and tell you how much I wanted you.”

  “Why – did you not – do so?”

  “Because I thought it was too soon and you would feel that we had jumped too quickly from hating what we had to do to finding after all, how very wonderful it was.”

  “It is very – very – wonderful for – me.”

  The Duke sat down on the bed and looked at her.

  Because Honora felt a little shy she asked after a moment,

  “What – are you thinking?”

  “I am wondering why you are different from any woman I have ever known before,” he said. “You are beautiful, exquisitely beautiful, but it is not only that.”

  “Then, what is – it?”

  “I think it is the goodness vibrating from you and I have known very few good women.”

  Honora gave a little cry.

  “That is a lovely thing to say to me and I promise that I will try very – very hard to be – good so that you will always be – proud of me.”

  The Duke put his arms around her, but he did not kiss her as she expected, but put his cheek against hers.

  “If you are going to be good for me,” he said, “then I must be good for you and it is something you will have to help me to be.”

  “That will not be difficult,” Honora sighed, “because love comes from God.”

  “I know,” the Duke said, “but we have to live our lives on earth, my precious, and sometimes it is difficult to give love to p
eople who are not lovable. Besides there are always temptations and choices between good and bad.”

  He thought as he spoke that it was something he had never thought out before, but now was very obvious.

  In the past he had spent far too much time with what was intrinsically bad.

  Now, almost as if it was a gift from Heaven, Honora had come into his life, so pure, so good, so innocent, that he was afraid that what he had become and what he had done might spoil their happiness.

  As if she knew what he was thinking, Honora put her arms round his neck and whispered,

  “I love you and because I can – feel what you are thinking – I know that – everything about you is – fine and – noble.”

  The Duke drew in his breath.

  Then, as if he came down from the heights to which his thoughts had taken him, his lips sought Honora’s.

  He kissed her until he felt her body move as if to music and she knew that she wanted him as a man.

  Slowly, as if he was still afraid to frighten her, he took off his robe and climbed into the bed beside her.

  Then, as she moved into his arms and he held her closer and still closer, he knew that this was the love that would overcome all difficulties and sweep away everything that was wrong, wicked and bad.

  This was the love that Honora believed came from God and it was theirs now and for all Eternity.

  “I love you, my precious, adorable one!” he said hoarsely.

  Then, as he kissed her and felt her heart beating against his, the sunshine, the music and the flowers were with them as Love carried them up into the glory of the sky.

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