He wouldn’t.
Nobody would because nobody knew the real reason he had left Liv. Only Trevor did and even that was one person too many.
“If I were you, I would just do the lovey dovey bullshit and convince her to forgive your sorry ass,” Shay said, sitting up taller taking his duffel bag off from across his chest.
Yeah, maybe that would work if he could actually have her back.
“I didn’t ask what you would do,” Jax mumbled, looking over at the grin forming on Shay’s animated face.
“Hear me out,” Shay said, tapping him on the shoulder again and if Shay did it one more time he was going rip the kid’s arm off. “Just start taking control of the situation again, you know? Rattle her a little bit.”
Rolling his eyes, Jax let his head fall into his hands. Since when did he start taking love advice from Shay, the biggest player he knew?
“Remind her why she loves your ugly ass and I guarantee by the time camp starts in three months, you’ll have her eating out of the palm of your million dollar hand,” Shay said, not waiting for a response before standing up and grabbing his bag.
As fantastic as getting his wife back sounded, he wouldn’t bring her down anymore. But as much as he hated to admit it, Shay had a point. He had been waiting since the day he came home for Liv to ease up a bit, feeling comfortable enough to talk, to stop avoiding him and get to a good place, maybe even let him explain why he had really left. Surely once she knew the real reason she would understand and agree with him. That him leaving didn’t mean he didn’t want her or love her, only that he wanted her to get better. To force her to understand it was for her own safety. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, hell, he didn’t deserve her, but maybe it was time to take things into his own hands. To show her that he still loved her, but couldn’t be with her. She couldn’t fault him for that.
“Yeah, and what if that doesn’t work?” he asked, watching Shay head towards the exit. He didn’t want to think about Liv not being in his life in some capacity. He loved her something crazy and his family was worth the fight. And a fight it would be because although Liv hated confrontation, she was also the biggest control freak that ever walked the planet.
“Well, then at least you’ll have had the chance to get your head out of your ass one last time.”
* * *
Despite the pile of papers stacked on her desk and a to-do list the length of her entire arm that lay under a few files taunting her, Alivia sat at her desk, scribbling in the top corner of a folder, listening to Ross exhaust more frustrations over his current extremist bride. God bless the man. If it weren’t for him, Save the Date would have gone belly up indefinitely when she took time off after her breakdown. The few months leading up to her episode she hadn’t been producing great work, often fearing that she was doing more harm to the business than good. After her nerves settled a bit, she was desperate to get her life back in working order and promoted Ross to business partner, an easy decision. Charlotte was pulled up to office manager and they had hired Whitney to replace Ross’s assistant position. Entertaining two four-year olds who were on spring break, helping Ross deal with a bride from hell, organizing the vendors for the annual carnival charity event for the Mavs, and delicately handling a very indecisive Chelsea about her wedding plans, she was convinced the week was going to be challenging until the very end. Thankfully, the last few days at home had been quiet. The tension among the house was becoming a bit more bearable as Jax kept more to himself once the girls were in bed. Watching them play together and laugh as he helped them pick out their show and tells for the next morning, she hadn’t realized just how much she missed those usual routines with him and the girls until she found herself ducked behind good old Barbie’s dream house watching them play.
“You can’t avoid him forever, you know that, right?” Ross asked.
“Stop that,” she warned, not taking her eyes off the cluster of stars she was drawing.
“Stop what?” he grinned, taking another sip of his coffee.
“Getting inside my head,” she said, waving the pen around her high pony tail. “It’s creepy.”
Sitting back into his chair, he crossed one leg over the other. “You are as transparent as this piece of glass,” he grinned tapping on the glass top of her desk. “It doesn’t take much.”
Rolling her eyes, she focused on coloring in every small, misshaped star she idly drew. The terms best friend and business partner never properly depicted the role Ross played in her life. Sure he was all of those things, but much more. He had been by her side at her finest, like when he had given her away on her wedding day and remained beside her at her worst, like when he had picked her up off the bathroom floor the night Jax had left.
“It isn’t healthy for you to be so tightly wound up and stressed out,” he advised, lifting his eyebrow behind his black rimmed glasses.
“I’m terrific, actually,” she lied, dropping the pen, sitting up to search on her computer for the full list of vendors for Friday’s carnival.
“Did I mention that you’re also a terrible actress?”
Opening her email, she ignored him as the door swung open.
“Nobody told me how terrible the teething process was going to be!” Chelsea said breathlessly walking into the office, letting a diaper bag fall to the floor. Smiling, Alivia walked over taking Asher from her tired arms.
“Give me my beautiful godson,” she cooed, kissing him on his chubby round cheek. Resting the side of her face against his jet black hair, she inhaled his sweet baby smell, rocking him to calm his fussiness. She positively adored Asher and was always ready and willing to get her hands on the beautiful baby. The angelic giggles he sang and the unmistakable baby scent had her missing the girls being that young. Holding Asher, she often found the “ache” beginning to creep up on her. The distinctive twinge of longing to have another baby to hold and smell and snuggle with again, often reminding her of the battle that she and Jax had used to have before everything changed. She wanted three children, while he claimed he wouldn’t stop until he had a son. She believed him when he said that he would have her barefoot and pregnant for years if he had to, but she also had a feeling that he was destined to be surrounded by tutu’s and tampons for the rest of his life. Smiling at the thought, she placed a small kiss on top of Asher’s head as he grabbed her necklace with his chubby hands.
“Honestly, Liv, I don’t know how you survived with two of them teething.” Chelsea said dropping her purse next to the diaper bag on the floor. “And at the same time!”
Alivia grinned. She appreciated when people recognized that having twins, no, correction, having twin girls was not as easy as people thought it was and it made her feel almost as if she had a special superpower.
“Well it wasn’t my favorite stage,” she smiled, bouncing Asher on her hip as he continued to gnaw on her necklace.
“Coffee?” Ross asked Chelsea, standing up to stretch his arms in front of him.
“I will forever be indebted to you kind, sir!” Chelsea said, bowing in front of Ross.
Laughing, he left to grab her coffee as Alivia sat down with Asher on her lap playing with his toes.
“Rough night?” she asked grabbing her iPad with her free hand to bring up a few details for Chelsea to sign off on for her wedding ceremony.
“That’s an understatement!” Chelsea sighed resting her face in her hand. “Not only is baby boy teething,” she smiled at Asher. “But in the middle of the eleventh hour of fussiness, I have to deal with Trevor’s mama calling and spewing off all kinds of demands and asking all sorts of questions about the wedding!” she said, shaking her head. “The shade of ivory for our dinner napkins is not really on the top of my priority list right now!”
Trevor’s family was a trifecta. Opinionated, wealthy and very large. It didn’t help matters that he was the youngest child and the only boy with four older sisters. Needless to say his mama was very protective and very particular when it came to a
ll aspects of his life. Alivia had never had a chance to meet her own mother-in-law as Jax’s mama passed away a few years before she had met him, but by the way his face lit up when she forced him to talk about her, she saw just how much he had adored her. And by the dark haze in his eyes that quickly followed, she also knew that her death still rattled him.
“Well, even though it’s not your top priority at this very moment, you do need to start making these decisions Chels,” she warned, handing Asher her bracelet to chew on.
She and Ross had carried Chelsea far in the decision making process, but a rule of thumb in their planning etiquette was that the bride and groom be involved in certain aspects of the process to gain a sense of pride and personal sentiment in the most important day of their lives.
“I know, I know, I just don’t have the energy to do it right now,” she whined, taking the hot coffee from Ross. She ignored the little white lie because Chelsea already looked tired enough. She wasn’t going to push the issue further, at least not today.
“Okay, so if the wedding plans are not being tackled today, then the bachelor and bachelorette weekend must be finalized. Its only two weeks away!” Alivia smiled excitedly trying her best to perk up her sleep deprived bride-to-be. She was on a mission to make sure Chelsea enjoyed every wedding festivity, even if she kicked and screamed the whole way.
“Now that is something that I am definitely interested in!” Chelsea beamed for the first time since she walked into the office.
After rocking Asher into a quiet nap in her arms, Alivia placed him down on the floor in a makeshift crib, as she and Chelsea reviewed plans for the entire weekend getaway. After deciding on the hotel they made the reservations while Chelsea chose what activities she wanted to try. She and Trevor had decided on a joint bachelor and bachelorette weekend, much to the bridal party’s dismay, which only consisted of four bridesmaids and three groomsmen. A relaxing, enjoyable weekend with their closest friends on the white sandy beaches in Florida more than making up for the unconventional party. Spending the entire weekend with Jax, however, was an entirely different issue that she also needed to tackle.
“Alright, it’s time for me to get little man home and hopefully he will continue to snooze, so that I can take a nap!” Chelsea yawned, followed by a small smile, causing her to yawn as well.
“Seems I’m not the only one not getting any sleep,” Chelsea frowned, grabbing Asher’s diaper bag off the chevron chair across the desk.
“Sleep seems to be optional lately,” Alivia said, giving her a half smile. Maybe it was having Jax inside the house again or knowing that he was just down the hall that had her tossing and turning at night as her mind raced about his leaving and coming back home. Or maybe the fact that in two short weeks she would be forced to spend the entire weekend away with him.
“Well, I have a feeling that things will start looking up real soon,” Chelsea declared, turning to pick up Asher before giving Alivia a hug goodbye.
“What makes you think that?” she whispered, leaning in to give Asher a soft kiss goodbye.
“I just have a feeling.”
8
Draining the last few precious sips of her iced coffee, Alivia made her way across the lengthy side parking lot of the Mavericks stadium. The sheer size of the sports grounds had always surprised her, regardless of the fact that she attended over a hundred games and events inside the stadium that housed over seventy-seven thousand fans during the season’s home games. Perhaps it was the circular design, making the arena appear wider and taller than most, but it always seemed more impressive than any of the other stadiums she had visited, and that meant something because she had seen a lot. The large stone steps, adorned in silver, navy and aqua team colored banners only complimented the enormous copper wave statue imbedded in the middle of the front entrance. The outside was fairly ordinary as far as stadiums went, but inside was where all the magic happened.
Rounding a corner to a larger parking lot towards the back of the stadium, she showed her staff badge to the older gentleman standing by the security gate, quickly double checking that she had all the necessities she needed to ensure that the day would run smoothly. Or as smoothly as directing over fifty vendors and a player meet and greet could go. Children’s rides and game booths were scattered around as she made her way to the multiple silver tents lined against the tall fence down the length of the lot. The annual carnival was jointly ran by the Mavericks organization and the city, benefitting one of her favorite charities. The city-wide event attracted hundreds of fans, community members, and local business owners, all brought together to raise money for various hospitals in the city for their family assistance programs. The foundation was wonderful and as always, she enjoyed watching the children’s faces light up seeing their favorite home team players enjoying the rides and playing games right along with them. The city took the lead on the bulk of the carnival planning, leaving Save the Date, once again, responsible for the vendors, including both local businesses and restaurants and of course, the main attraction, the meet and greet tent with the Mavs players.
Dropping her purse down on an empty table inside the large tent, she assessed the space she had to work with, making certain that the players were as comfortable as possible on the warm day and that the flow of fan traffic ran seamlessly. Mentally running through the players in her head, she couldn’t help but grin. The fans were in for a real treat this year. Utilizing her remarkable powers of persuasion, she had coerced some of the leading players on the team to participate. Newly traded Liam Walsh and new draft pick Austin Kendrick. Trevor, Shay, and Myles hadn’t stood a chance of getting out of this one, and as always, overall fan favorite, Jax.
Just the thought of being in such close proximity of him during the event had her hands sweating. The small pangs of guilt from completely avoiding him at home, the deafening silence, and all the avoidance was beginning to get to her. She wasn’t this person. She wasn’t someone who just walked around paying no attention to someone and going about her day continuously on edge, guilt ridden and apprehensive. But having Jax walking around the house provoking so many emotions had her head spinning. He confused the hell out of her and she still had no idea why he was really home. But for as angry and frustrated with his aloofness as she was, those feelings were overshadowed by her annoyance with herself for allowing things to get as far and completely out of control as they had.
She wanted to smack herself for allowing her mind to wonder the past few days, shamelessly daydreaming about him. Like the other day when he had walked into the kitchen grabbing a bottled water as she made the girls’ lunches and right there in the middle of smearing peanut butter on a slice of bread, she envisioned him wrapping his huge arms around her waist, pulling her against his equally huge chest before kissing her senseless. Or when in the middle of a design consultation with a florist, she imagined him busting through her office door, pleading for her forgiveness and having a completely logical explanation for leaving; and moments like last night when she tossed and turned dreaming of him slipping into their bed, giving her the mind blowing sex that only he could deliver.
“Ugh,” she groaned disgusted with herself. Running her hands through her hair, she noticed that on top of everything else, she was having a really bad hair day too. Maybe it was watching him slip back into their lives, or the lack of sleep from all the heated dreams or the months without sex, but whatever it was, it needed to stop.
And soon.
They not only had Trevor and Chelsea’s joint bachelor party weekend quickly approaching, but also the wedding, and every single event the girls would have their entire lives that she would have to attend with him. In her heart she didn’t want to believe their marriage was over, but after all that had happened, she needed to prepare herself for the worst; and he still hadn’t given her any reason that she could hope for the best. She needed to get herself together and stay in control. It was the only way she’d get out with what little piece of a heart she had
left.
“Hey! I didn’t see you come in.” Ross interrupted her mental thrashing placing a small peck on her cheek.
“I sped through every yellow light to get here so I would have enough time to set up,” she said, reaching for one side of the long table, moving it closer to the middle of the tent where the boys would be signing autographs.
“Are you proud of me?” She grinned as he shook his head in amusement. It always baffled him how a successful event planner could manage to find a way to be late to every event and he loved harassing her about it… daily. “How does everything look?”
“Everything is fine. It’s nice to only be in charge of less than half of the entire event for a change.” He grabbed the other side of the table to help her. “All the booths are set up and ready to go, just waiting for the vendors to come and set up their things,” he said through grinded teeth pushing the heavy table.
“Okay good.” Alivia stood up, putting her hands on her hips assessing the placement. Looking over at Ross, she cocked her head to one side wondering what it would take to coax him into running the meet and greet in an attempt to avoid being squeezed into a warm tent all afternoon under Jax’s watchful stare fueling any further fantasies.
“There wouldn’t be any chance that you would want to run the meet and greet today and I take over the daunting local vendor booths now would there be?” she pleaded, already knowing his answer.
“As tempting as being trapped inside a tent all day with six gorgeous football players sounds,” he said, helping her place the chairs behind the table. “And it does,” he added. “You need to put your big girl panties on and deal with your husband.”
She didn’t want to talk to Jax. Talking led to feelings and feelings led to emotions and emotions led to the reality that he may leave again. For good. And the realization that he may not love her anymore. All things she wasn’t ready to face yet.
False Start (Mavericks #1) Page 10