“Good God, Chels, what are you feeding him?” He pretended to drop him causing a large belly laugh from Asher.
Fighting the urge to ask Ross if had spoken to Liv, he reminded himself that she was fine. His mind felt wired to only think of her. After dropping the girls back home last night, Caroline had mentioned Liv was finally walking around, which was good. Real good.
“Are these for me?” Chelsea asked, taking out a shoe box from one of the large bags.
“Sure are, but don’t you dare open them in front of your groom,” Ross warned. Working her lip, she peeked inside the bag, still looking upset about going through with the big wedding. Trevor had told him that Liv had come through and convinced her parents to attend the wedding, but that it would be a surprise. Liv had once again proved just how far she would go to make those around her happy, how much she cared.
“And I also have your cousin, Shannon’s dress and Liv’s dress in the car,” Ross said, smacking another big kiss on Asher’s cheek.
The room fell silent at the mention of Liv’s name. How the hell was he supposed to get through the wedding with her beside him or even the rest of his life when he didn’t even know if he could get through the next five minutes?
“Which reminds me.” Ross swung around, looking at him. “I’m surprised you’re here.”
“What do you mean? You know I’ve been staying here.”
Getting rice snacks shoved into his mouth from Asher, Ross glanced over at Chelsea.
“I just assumed you’d be spending the day with the girls at Hudson Beach,” he said carefully, looking at Trevor for affirmation.
Hudson Beach?
They were all quiet, Asher’s squeals the only noise as he glanced at both Chelsea and Trevor. Looking away, they avoided eye contact. What the hell was going on? Why should he be at Hudson Beach? Why was nobody talking?
“Would somebody please tell me why I should be at Hudson Beach?” he yelled louder than he intended. “What the hell is going on?”
Clearing his throat, Ross looked down at him bouncing Asher.
“They’re leaving, Jax.”
Leaving? What the hell was he talking about, leaving?
“Excuse me?” he asked, standing up from the couch. Looking over his shoulder at Trevor, he shrugged. Did Trevor know about this? And he didn’t say anything? What the fuck?
Resting his chin against Asher’s head a moment, Ross handed him back to Chelsea.
“Liv’s going back to Virginia to stay with her mama for the summer,” he explained carefully. “And she’s taking the girls with her.”
Sympathy was splashed across Ross’s entire face and it was a look that he was seriously getting tired of. Everyone looked at him like, “poor Jax” and now his wife thought that she could just pack up their girls and leave without saying a word to him?
“The fuck she is,” Jax growled, storming past Ross. Despite what Liv felt for him, he would never allow her to shut him out of their girls’ lives.
“She needs a break, Jax,” Ross yelled behind him. “I’m sorry.”
Slamming the door behind him, he took long strides to his car, whipping the black door open and jumping inside. What was she thinking? Did she really think that he wouldn’t find out? That taking the girls away for the entire summer was acceptable? Throwing down the shifter, the sound of screeching tires roared as he barreled out of Trevor’s driveway matching the rate of his blood pumping. Less than a second later, he passed his own house, and sure enough Liv’s car nowhere in sight.
Hudson Beach? What the hell was she doing at Hudson beach? Just yesterday she was finally able to get out of bed and walk around for the first time in over a week. Now she thought that she could drive and take the girls to the beach? Was she out of her god damn mind?
White knuckling the steering wheel, he sped towards the small path that cut through the back roads to the private beach. The same beach where he had fallen in love with the same insane woman he was trying to get to. Speeding down the gravel road lined in palm trees, his anger surged. He was tired of her stubbornness and she was going to listen to him whether she liked it or not. If she didn’t love him anymore, than he would make her say the words and he would have to live with that, but he wasn’t going to let her run away scared with his children.
Pulling onto the sand dusted parking area littered with beach grass, he looked out into the long expanse of sand seeing her blonde curls blowing in the strong wind. The girls running around by the water with bubbles. Why did she think she had it in her to bring them here? To put herself in jeopardy of getting hurt again? Jumping out of the car, he slammed the door before hopping over the large sand dune in one swift movement. Plowing through the soft sand, he jumped the rustic boards that ran the entire length of the beach, different emotions ripping through his veins. Coming to a halt behind her, awareness that he was the closest he had been to her since she was lying on a cold hard ground covered in her own blood, slapped him across the face. Fighting the impulse to wrap his arms around her and feel the rise and fall of her chest again, to hear her voice and see her move, reaffirming that she was alive; he reached out for solace, before the realization of her leaving with their daughters kicked in.
“What the hell are you doing?”
* * *
Alivia felt Jax before she heard him. She hadn’t been completely sure he would have come after her, so she had used the girls as a ploy to ensure he’d come find them. Terrible, she knew, but she had hurt him so badly by pushing him away, she wasn’t even sure he even cared for her anymore; banking on his protective rage kicking in, she knew he would come after the girls. Inhaling the salty air, it did little to alleviate her heart from pounding inside her chest, causing her ribs to burn. Maybe this hadn’t been her best idea. To be standing out on a beach just a day after finally having the strength to walk around again and to elicit anger inside the one person she needed to listen to her. Turning around slowly, she looked up into the steely eyes of the man that she loved more than anything.
“Hi,” she breathed.
Crossing his arms across his chest, the material of his green shirt stretching over every muscle, he looked angry. Furious, actually. No signs of her warm husband anywhere in sight.
“I said, what the hell are you doing?”
His intensity taking her off guard, her eyes darted around forcing herself to focus. She had messed up. Terribly, but she refused to go another day running scared.
“I,” she stuttered, clearing her throat, “I wasn’t sure if you would come.” She continued staring back up into his heated gaze unsure of what was going to come out of his beautiful mouth. She knew him long enough to know he was forcing himself to tame his innate protectiveness. His muscles twitching, the hard line across his mouth accentuated his jaw as the faint sounds of the seagulls and waves hung between them. Opening her mouth, he spoke before she could.
“Despite what you think you know about those divorce papers,” he narrowed in on her, uncrossing his arms. “And despite how hard you want to push me away because you may not love me any longer,” he moved closer, not taking his eyes off her. “I will always fight for my girls.” He closed the distance between them, forcing her to look up into his hard eyes. “All of my girls.”
His eyes searching hers, her heart pounded like a jackhammer inside her ears. Balling up her fists tightly to keep from wrapping her arms around his neck, she let him speak. To hear him out. She owed that to him.
“You know,” he shook his head, laughing without humor, “you are the most stubborn woman on the planet.”
This was true.
“And the part that kills me the most is that I can’t even be angry with you because this isn’t all your fault.”
Not true.
“I should have never have left last year and that is a burden I will carry around for the rest of my life,” he said pointing to himself. “But what makes you think you can take our girls away from me for an entire summer?” he asked, hurt and
disbelief marring his perfect face. Hurt that she had put there. “And without telling me?”
“I wasn’t going to take them away from you, Jax. This was all just-” She swung her arm towards the girls by the water, hissing at the spike of pain in her side. She breathed in holding her side as he stepped closer reaching to help her. She could smell the sandalwood rolling off his neck, sending shivers down her arms.
“Liv, you need to sit down-”
“No,” she pushed away his arm cutting him off, “you need to hear this.”
Breathing through the sharp pain, he moved closer again, her body’s response to him magnetic as she fought with everything in her to keep from falling into him.
“This was all just a ploy to get you here,” she said, looking into the hard lines of his face edged by the early evening sun. “To tell you that I’m sorry, Jax,” she insisted, pushing her hair out of her face from the wind. “I’m sorry for losing it when Vanessa tried to cause problems between us and that I allowed it to mess with my head. I’m sorry that I made things so difficult when you came home and I’m sorry that I didn’t let you explain the divorce papers,” she apologized, looking past him at the girls, ashamed for pushing him away. For running scared.
“I was terrified and instead of letting you in, I pushed you away trying to grasp for any control that I had left, only making things messier. You have no idea how important you are to me,” she pleaded, not certain how she could explain it to him.
“I love you Jax. That will never change. And if you believe nothing of what I say, please, promise me that you’ll believe me when I say that I love you,” she insisted, her tears running down her face. She didn’t care about being so strong anymore, was tired of it actually. It had gotten her into a lot of trouble over the past two years.
“And I’m so, so, sorry that I hurt you. That I hurt us.”
Watching him closely, she wondered if anything she had said resonated with him, the realization that he may not accept her apology dawning on her for the hundredth time that day. Slowly closing the distance between them, his eyes bore into hers, making her heart accelerate in the most beautiful way. In ways that only he could. Taking her face into his hands, he wiped her tears with his thumbs, his eyes never wavering. Drifting her eyes shut, she pushed her cheek into his palm relishing in his oversized hands joining her skin once again.
“You, Alivia Monaghan, drive me nuts.”
Opening her eyes at the roughness in his voice, a voice she had missed, she watched the ends of his lips curve. “Do you know that?” he asked, wiping another tear that fell from her eye.
“Do you also know that I would never file for divorce from you if I was in the right frame of mind? That when I finally got my head out of my ass not twenty-four hours later that I insisted those papers be destroyed?” his eyes softened.
“And that damn woman found them and had them sent to you. To hurt you. To hurt both of us,” he said, a small pang of desperation crossing his face. Why wasn’t she in the least bit surprised to find that Vanessa had something to do with the papers? Why hadn’t she thought of that? Had she really been that far over the deep end?
“I love you, Liv.”
It wasn’t a question. Wasn’t an off the cuff habitual statement, either. It was intended and full of purpose, and it was as if she was hearing it for the first time all over again.
He still loved her.
“This past week has been the worst of my life,” he continued, pushing his forehead into hers.
“And I didn’t think anything could be worse than being away from you for almost a year,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her gently against his chest. Closing her eyes against the pressure of his breath between them, her heart pounded inside her head.
“I thought I lost you, Liv.” He shook his head gently, his lips brushing her nose. “God, can we just forget about all of this? Just start over or continue on, I’m not quite sure which one, but I don’t want to waste another day without you. Without my family,” he whispered, feeling his words inside her soul. Her mind suddenly at ease for the first time in a long time. “What do you say?”
“I say,” she whispered, both fear and pain subsiding. He was truly a spectacular man, one who had claimed her heart years ago, made it his sole mission to protect her and who gave forgiveness in a blink of an eye. Smiling back into a face she refused to ever let go of again, a man that reminded her of all that was good in this world. A beautifully damaged man behind swoon worthy dimples that she had missed more than anything in her entire life.
“I say just kiss me.” She grinned. “Please.”
The ends of his lips lifting, his lips crashed against hers. Kissing him so hard, he may question her sanity, she gave herself permission to relinquish all control. A moment unrestricted of worry about the future, just enjoying this man and trusting that he would forever be by her side. And for the first time in her entire life, she felt gloriously unprotected.
“Ewwwwe.” She heard two small voices standing beside them. Chuckling, their lips pressed together, she reluctantly withdrew her lips from his.
“Get a room,” Hannah added, scrunching her nose before running away laughing.
Turning into Jax, his arms tightening around her waist as he buried his face into her neck.
“What do you say Star? Want to go get that room?”
Laughing, immediately regretting it, she leaned into him for support, enjoying the soft pecks he feathered down her neck. Kisses she was so afraid she would never feel again.
“I do.”
Moving his hand down her backside, he squeezed her ass.
“Preferably one without small eyes watching our every move.”
“Well, Captain.” She grinned, resting her cheek inside his hair. “Getting that privacy is about to get a whole lot harder.”
Feeling his lips rest against her jawline, he straightened. She couldn’t stop smiling if she had to, as she took his hands inside hers placing them on her belly, watching as what she said registered across his beautiful face.
“Really?” he asked. “You’re serious? This isn’t a joke?” he asked, looking back down at her flat stomach that was indeed carrying their baby. A positive stick and a week of morning sickness to prove it. “But is it?” he asked, concern taking over his face and she couldn’t help but smile.
“Yes, the baby is fine.” She placed her hands on top of his. “It was early enough that the accident didn’t cause any severe damage, thankfully.”
When she had went to the doctor they assured her that she had every reason to believe she would have a healthy pregnancy.
“We’re both going to be just fine.”
A smile spreading across his entire face, he wrapped his arms around her again as she absorbed the heat from his body again, protectiveness dripping from him.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” she asked, pushing a piece of hair off his beautiful face.
“For this life.” He smiled and her heart finally exploded. All the worry and all the chaos just didn’t matter anymore.
“But no more running scared, Liv,” he said his smile slipping. “For either of us. This is it. It’s us against the world. I mean it.”
“No more running scared.” She repeated.
Sealing his deal with a kiss, Hailey and Hannah wrapped their arms around their legs. Running after the girls, Jax chased them up the sand, their laughs filling the beach. Both promise and hope rested inside of her as she stood on the same beach where she had fallen in love with the greatest man she had ever known. Not only once, but twice.
Epilogue
Five weeks later…
The singer’s smooth voice filled the inside of the tent that rested in the middle of the biggest plantation Jax had ever seen as he watched his best friend dance with his new bride. Chelsea looked beautiful in a long lace gown, a crown of flowers circling her small head. And Trevor. Well the man hadn’t stopped smiling like a damn fool
since Jax had arrived at the church that morning. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Liv and her team had went over the top for the wedding. Everything from the curtains on the outside of the tent to the large globes of lighting hanging from every tree of the property, the entire tent littered in white lights, the southern wedding was nothing short of spectacular. No matter how many times he felt he should be accustomed to his wife’s talents, he still couldn’t get enough.
Taking another swig on his beer, he searched the room for his wife and the one responsible for making Chelsea the happiest bride in the world. When the Shaws had walked into the rehearsal last night it seemed as though everything had stopped moving. Feeling Liv hold her breath, he and everybody else watched Chelsea’s reaction to seeing her parents. It took about half a minute before she ran back down the makeshift aisle and into her mother’s arms. Tears were shed, sobs were heard and it was a sight to be seen. Parents and daughter reunited. The Shaws had nearly collapsed when Trevor brought Asher up the aisle. Watching Mrs. Shaw give Trevor a big hug and Mr. Shaw shaking his hand with a smile, Jax knew it would all be alright for the Perrys.
“Hell of a wedding.”
Looking beside him at Shay dressed in a tan suit, they watched couples slowly start joining the dance floor.
“Sure is,” Jax grinned, watching the girls in their white dresses dancing with Asher.
“Ready for training camp, old man?” Shay chuckled.
Rolling his eyes, he finished the last of his beer. Camp started in four weeks and his off-season had proven to be a difficult one, but truth be told, he was itching to get back on the field.
“I’m always ready,” he raised a brow. “Question is, are you?”
His star receiver was entering into the season in a contract year and if the kid wanted to stay with the Mavs, he needed to fight, continue to pique the interest of management and stay focused. He wasn’t all that worried though, the kid may be arrogant as hell, but he was one damn good player and Jax would do what he could to help him stay in Charleston.
False Start (Mavericks #1) Page 40