Paper Cranes

by Nicole Hite

  The warm atmosphere melted my bones as the Cajun cuisine already flooded my senses. The spices tickled my nose as we approached the landing.

  “Lee, what’s up ma man!” Yelled a rather Cajun gentleman from the service window.

  “What it do, Rene! Mind if we seat ourselves?”

  “You know da drill. Make yourself at home. I’ll come see ya as soon as Lisette gets off ma ass about da gumbo.”

  “I don’t know what da hell dat man be talkin’ bout,” a tiny woman with bright purple hair said as she approached our table.

  Standing from his chair, Lee stood to give Lisette a sweet kiss on the cheek.

  “How ya been, bebe? Haven’t seen ya in a while. And who dis?” She looked in my direction.

  My cheeks flared red as our eyes launched onto one another. There was something very soothing about her very demeanor that calmed my nerves and put me at ease.

  “Lisette, this is Kat. Kat, Lisette,” he introduced. Partly covering his mouth, he leaned in, “She’s a bit of a bitch so enjoy her niceness while you can. She’ll be bossing you around in no time.”

  Smacking Lee upside the head with her hand towel, “Don’t go spitten dem awful lies, Lee.”

  I liked Lisette already. She made me laugh and that’s exactly what I needed right now.

  “What can I get cha to drink cher’?” Lisette asked as her flawless accent rolled off her tongue like sweet southern molasses.

  “I’ll have a sweet tea, please.”

  “Mmm sounds good, make that two,” he motioned with two fingers. “Oh, and don’t forget the bendy straws.”

  “I know. I know how ya like dem stupid straws. Still a kid that one; beware Kat,” she jokingly warned me.

  “Do you come here a lot?” I chatted.

  “I have a soft spot for this ole’ place. My friends and I used to come here quit often. They still make the best damn Gumbo, Jambalaya and Shrimp Creole on the Mississippi. I hope you brought some tums, because Rene, over there, makes it extra spicy,” he gestured to the man in the serving window.

  “What should I try first?” I marveled at the menu.

  “Get all three.”

  Wide eyed, I stared at him in shock.

  “That’s far too much food, Lee. I refused to make you pay for all that,” I chided.

  “Oh, dang it. I thought I told you,” he began.

  “Told me what?” I looked at him completely confused.

  “You’re responsible for this check. I think it’s only far since I paid for breakfast,” he smiled.

  For a moment we just stared at one another, trying to decide who would crack first.

  “Dammit! I thought you would argue and then I could retort on how I was kidding. Then you would kindly call me an asshole. Isn’t that how this works? I’m a little rusty.”

  “I wouldn’t know. I don’t go on many dates to be honest.”

  “I find that hard to believe,” he exclaimed.

  “It’s true. Right now we are a little slow since football season is over, but it’s still difficult to get free time here and there. You’ve seen more of me then JoJo has these last couple of weeks. You should feel privileged,” I grinned.

  “I’m honored you deem my presence worthy, ma-lady.”

  Just as I was about to make a smart-ass comment, Lisette makes her way over to our table. Although the hair threw me, Lisette was definitely a younger woman. Her Keds sneakers were decorated with Sharpie doodles, while her forearm was tattooed with a vintage mermaid. She had a tiny diamond stud in her cute little nose, not to take away from her lip ring.

  Through process of elimination, I could only assume that Rene was her boyfriend. She didn’t bare a wedding ring, unless she took it off while at work. Rene was a good-looking guy too. He was a shorter gentleman, but he made up for it in personality. He too was covered in tattoos and his ears were gaged. He wore a trucker hat backwards while his beard was covered with, what I could only deduce was, a hair net. It was the oddest sight, but they seemed like good people to me.

  Lisette placed our drinks and straws on our table. Watching Lee scramble to get his was hilarious. He really was a kid at heart.

  “What’ll it be,” Lisette asked as she pulled her notepad from her grease stained apron. Her knuckles were tattoo to say, “STAY TRUE” in black ink. The tattoo intrigued me, and a part of me wanted to know the stories behind them.

  “Prepare yourself, Lette, but Kat has never had gumbo, jambalaya or shrimp creole.”

  Dropping her pencil, Lisette looked at me with the biggest blue eyes I had ever seen.

  Instead of asking questions, she pick up her pencil and retreated to the kitchen.

  “What the hell was that?” I asked completely baffled.

  “I’m pretty sure she’s in the back room having an aneurism. And cue scream in 3…2…”

  “AHHHHHHHH,” was all I could hear as my heart jumped into my throat from shock.

  “…1,” Lee chuckled.

  Lisette returned to the dining room, shaking her shoulders and cracking her neck. Taking a deep breath, she revisited our table with a renewed sense of calm.

  I immediately felt the need to apologize; yet I wasn’t sure what for. She clearly had an affinity for her food.

  “I’m so sorry if I offended you…” my tiny voice came out as a whisper.

  “No worries, cher. No better place to pop dat cherry den Frissons. I’ll get Rene to cook ya up somet’ing real nice, cher. You won’t want anyone else’s after tonight,” she said proudly. Sadly, I believed her.

  Watching Lisette walk away, there was a lovely aura about her. I could definitely see myself being friends with her. Leaning into the table, I kept my voice to a whisper not to sound like a total buffoon again. There was no way I was going to upset Lisette.

  “So, what does Frissons mean?”

  “It’s Cajun French for shudder or the thrill of excitement. Rene always use to say that Lette was his Frisson when they first started to date, and well, it kinda stuck.”

  “I love it. How long have Rene and Lisette been together?”

  “Off and on for ten years.”

  “Wow, ten years. That’s insane. I’m lucky if I could last a year, but ten, shit on a stick.”

  “Even through their good times and bad, they are meant for one another. He doesn’t put up with her bullshit and she doesn’t put up with his. We grew up together; that’s how we know each other.”

  “Makes sense,” I said picking up the straw and loosened the paper. Lifting the straw to my mouth, Lee’s eyes stared me down just waiting for me to place the straw to my lips. As soon as they made contact, I could hear an audible sigh leave his perfect lips. Snapping him out of fantasyland, I shot the excessive wrapper across the table, hitting him square between the eyes.

  As retaliation, Lee picked the flying debris from his shirt, balling it into a ball and tossing it perfectly into my tea.

  “Tit for tat, cher!” he bellowed.

  We fell into a fit of laughter at the sight we were making. We didn’t care we were in our thirties and acting like children. Lee made me feel so special when we were together. He was the first guy in a long time who I felt I could genuinely be myself with. It was refreshing.

  We went back and forth for a while joking around and even coloring on our kids mats. As soon as Lee perfected his dancing shrimp, I came in and gave the shrimp a top hat, and beard. In return, he gave my crab a mullet with a porn star moustache.

  “Touché my friend,” we nearly fell over in our chairs laughing so hard.

  Just as I was about to massacre his catfish, Lisette appeared from the kitchen with three large plates strategically stacked on her arm. She didn’t strain or grunt; a clear indication she had been waiting tables for some time.

  “Okay children,” she joked, placing two dishes on our masterpieces. “Now, Rene said if dat don’t make ya feel like true blue Louisiana charm, you can take your sorry asses out of here. Cher, can you take this from me
so I can get des others?”

  Without thinking twice, I reached for the deep-dish bowl of gumbo. As soon as the weight was transferred into my hands, I immediately felt the buckling in my weak wrist. I could see the catastrophe happening in slow motion before the familiar pinch in my thumb warped. Before I knew it, I had a lap full of bright orange gumbo.

  Hearing the plate shatter to the ground, I cringed as I made eye contact with Lisette.

  “I’m so sorry…” was all I could muffle before I was racing for the bathroom. Thoroughly embarrassed, I just needed to get away. I had been doing great all night, not thinking of the disease and yet it reared its ugly mug at the most importune time.

  Racing across the wooden floorboards, I diverted my tear filled eyes from Rene. I pushed open the giant wooden door, nearly colliding into the sink. Gripping the edges of the porcelain, I let the tears fall into the basin. Turning the faucet on, I let the water run as I wept into the swirling pool of water.

  Stupid Kat, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

  I reached over to the paper towel dispenser, clearing Rene and Lisette of nearly all of their stock. With a little hand foam and some grunt work, I got a majority of the stain out. Making eye contact with my reflection, I wiped the remains of my sob session away. Patting my shirt dry, I reached for the door handle. Just as I was about to pull the knob, I heard two male voices just outside the door.

  “What are ya doing, Lee?” Rene asked sounding aggravated.

  “What are you talking about?” He said, seemingly aloof.

  “Dat girl, out dere. I saw what just happened, I’m no idiot.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Rene. It was a simply mishap.”

  “She’s got it, don’t she?” He questioned.

  What did Rene mean by that? There was no response from Lee for a while before Rene interrupted his thought.

  “You can’t fix her, man. As much as I know ya wanna. You need to walk away before ya shadda dat girl.”

  “You need a new hobby, Rene. Seriously, dude.”

  “I’m serious, Lee. Don’t hurt dat girl because ya feel ya need to make da universe right.”

  What did he mean by “make things right? What was Lee not telling me?

  The thud of their boots thumped on the hardwood floor as the two parted ways. A set of boots grew louder as I slipped back to the sink, pretending I hadn’t been eavesdropping. Turning the faucet on again, I began washing my hands.

  “Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday, dear Kat, Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday, dear Kat, Happy Birthday to me.”

  I grabbed the last of the paper towels just as I heard a muted knock on the door.

  Chuckling, “You okay, Kat? I just came to check on you.”

  Lee pushed the door open a smidge making sure the coast was clear. The large man slipped through the doorframe, shutting the door, and leaning on the backside.

  “Wanna tell me what that was about?” Lee questioned.

  “I’m sorry. My hand just gave out and…” I began my plea.

  “Oh I don’t give a shit about that. I was taking about your little sing-a-thon going on.”

  Lowering my head a little, I let out an endless stream of cackles. The happy tears flowed at how ridiculous I must have sounded.

  “My respiratory therapist told me to sing it whenever I wash my hands to make sure I get them nice and clean. She said germs and being sick is the worst feeling ever when you have a weaker immune system. Sounds stupid doesn’t it?”

  “Not at all. I’ll have to remember that. Wanna sing to me as I wash my hands of this gumbo,” he laughed as he gave me a wink.

  How was he being so cool with this? I was ashamed and I’m sure I completely mortified him in front of his friends. I don’t deserve this sort of treatment from a man like this. He should have left me in the bathroom to wallow in my sorrow as he high tailed it out of here.

  “Why are you being so nice to me?” I finally quipped.

  “Why would I not be nice to you? What? You think a little fumble here and there is going to make me like you any less? Shit happens, Dove. It’s all in how we deal with it. Let me guess, you never did anything stupid in your life before?”

  “I mean; I fell down a staircase at a fraternity party one time. I was ten sheets to the wind, though. I didn’t really care who saw to be honest. It wasn’t till I saw the giant strawberry the next day where I realized how bad it was,” I chuckled.

  “Ouch,” he laughed. “See, you can laugh at yourself now, and I guarantee no one at that party even noticed.” Lee tried to make me feel better as my shoulder shifted with his nudge. “Come here, cher.” Taking me into his arms, he hugged me tightly. “Come on, we have food to eat!”

  Lee shoed me out of the bathroom, massaging my shoulders as we walked. As we approach the dining room, my shoulders grew tense as the patrons eyed us.

  “No need to worry folks. She just couldn’t take all this sexiness. I know. It’s a damn shame,” Lee shouted to the guests to ease my tension. “You may all resume your feasts! Try not to drop your plates as well for there are no paper towels if you do!”

  The restaurant erupted in hoots and hollers as Lee stepped aside and took his bow.

  We resumed our evening without a flaw or interruption. When finished, we give hugs and thanks to Lisette and Rene, promising to come back sooner rather than later. In my core, I couldn’t shake this annoying feeling deep within my stomach. A feeling I had been trying to suppress, but seeing Lee tonight only confirmed what I needed to do.

  We climbed into the truck, barely saying a word since we left Frissons. My chest tightened and my hands trembled with anxiety. In my head I thought of the perfect thing to say and how to say it. But all that went to shit the second I heard his beautiful voice.

  “I think we should just be friends,” I blurted. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but what I really need right now is a friend. Relationships and feelings only make things complicated and right now I need simple…”

  “Okay.”

  “…Oh,” I abruptly stopped talking. I wasn’t expecting his response to be so blunt and well, short.

  “Are you mad?” I immediately regretted even saying anything. Lee’s facial expression crash-landed in the cab of his truck and it was entirely my fault.

  “Hell no. I would do anything you asked. It’s not my place to force you to do anything. You have a lot on your plate and I completely respect that. I will say one thing though.”

  “What’s that?” I suddenly started to feel a little better about my decision.

  “I still want to hang out and be friends, but I can’t promise I won’t flirt. If I can’t have you as my girlfriend, the least you can do is let me compliment you from time to time.”

  “Deal.”

  Just as we were finalizing our deal, we pulled up to the curb of the house.

  Shifting awkwardly in my seat, “Thank you for helping me cross off one thing on my bucket list.”

  “I promised you the best and I hope I delivered. I also promised you I would deliver you safe and sound at the end of the night. I see no alligator bites; I think we’re in the clear.”

  “That you did, sir.”

  I unbuckled my seatbelt, swinging open the truck door. Stepping onto the curb, I was a little upset that Lee didn’t come racing around the hood to greet me. But friends don’t do that. Friends say, “Fuck off twat waffle, see you tomorrow.” Lee would never say that, although it would be funny. We just needed to get over this awkward bump and get comfortable just being friends. It would have been so much easier had we not jumped headfirst. Yes, friends would be best.

  So why did my heart hurt so much?

  Nearly making it to the front steps, I could hear the shuffling of his boots on the cement pathway. I will admit, knowing he wasn’t just going to push me away, made me smile.

  “Hang on, Dove,” he shouted. “You forgot this.”


  Turning around, I wasn’t expecting to see anything spectacular. In fact, I didn’t see anything but Lee in front of me.

  “Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” he said as he approached me.

  Without hesitation, I closed my eyes and held out my outstretched palms.

  Lee placed something lightweight in my fingers. I already knew what it was, but it made my heart flutter to know he wouldn’t stop doing this single gesture just because I wanted to be friends.

  “Open your eyes,” he whispered, inches from my face.

  Looking down, it was a crane made out of the coloring mats from Frisson. Giggling, I noticed the phrase, “You are trustworthy.”

  As I looked up, I begged my eyes to hold in their tears. Seeing the pain and agony in my eyes, you could see the wheels turning in Lee’s. Before I could retaliate, Lee bent down and laid a simple kiss on my lips. It was perfect in every way. He felt my struggle, which made it all the more painful.

  Turning on his heals; he headed toward his truck without uttering a single word.

  “Friends kiss…right?” he turned around giving me a cocky grin. “Night, Dove.”

  “Just friends, Lee!” I yelled down the sidewalk.

  “Yeah, and I said I wouldn’t stop complimenting you, so deal with it.”

  This was turning out to be my favorite part about our dates. Then again, they weren’t dates, right?

  Lee never called to make plans for the weekend like he said he would. He was giving me the space I asked for and yet I hated it. I never realized how much I hated not talking to him until he was silent. I was missing something I never knew I needed so much. The more time I spent by myself, the more time I spent thinking about the disease, and that was a horrible feeling. I missed his lighthearted humor and stupid cranes.

  Even though being at work was a great distraction most of the time, there was a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me, “You have a disease. You are tainted. No one will care for you more than Lee.” Trying not to be involved with Lee seemed worse than actually being with him. At least when I was with him I was happy. Self-loathing didn’t exist.