The Art of Friendship

by Lisa Ireland

  ‘Libby, are you okay? I would never disclose what actually happened to anyone – you can trust me, I promise.’ The smile had left Alli’s face and there was an intense look in her eyes.

  Libby smiled and shook her head. ‘I know that. Sorry, my head is elsewhere. I know I told you I wanted to talk to you about Harry tonight but that’s not the only thing that’s been bothering me.’

  The twinkle returned to Alli’s eyes. ‘Lay it on me, sister. Tell your old Aunty Alli all about it.’

  Libby laughed again, but before she could reply they were interrupted by the sound of Alli’s phone ringing.

  Alli glanced at the screen and grimaced. ‘It’s Greg. I’d better take it. Do you mind?’

  ‘Of course not, go ahead.’

  Alli picked up the phone. ‘Hi, honey. How are you?’

  Libby sipped her drink and started to peruse the menu. Alli was nearly done with her glass, and it was at least her second one, so getting some food was probably a good idea. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop but Greg was obviously shouting as she could hear his voice quite clearly and he didn’t seem pleased.

  ‘Where the fuck are you?’

  Alli’s face coloured but she smiled. ‘I’m at Baffetti with Libby.’ She held up one finger to Libby as she slid out of the booth. ‘One minute,’ she mouthed silently as she backed away from the table.

  Libby was shocked. Of all the executive team Greg was the one she liked the most. He was always so polite and attentive towards Alli. She would never have imagined him speaking to his wife this way. Obviously Alli and Greg’s marriage wasn’t always perfect. Which, now that she thought about it, was a relief to know. It kind of made them a bit more human somehow. Perhaps she and Cam weren’t the only ones who had hissed conversations when they thought no one else was in earshot.

  Her relationship with Cam had taken a dive when they argued about the whole Harry debacle, although things were picking up again now Harry was successfully enrolled at Braeton. Cam had been furious she’d made such a huge decision about Harry’s future without consulting him, and at first had refused to sign the paperwork releasing Harry from the school. ‘For God’s sake, Libby, this is ridiculous. So what if they want the kid to have counselling. Let him go to a few sessions of the mumbo jumbo. Harry’s not stupid. He’ll pick up on what they want him to say and that’ll be the end of it. Obviously I think the school is being heavy-handed, but you can’t blame them. People sue at the drop of a hat these days.’

  ‘Maybe that’s what we should do.’

  ‘Do you really want our family’s name dragged through the mud and our personal business aired in court?’

  ‘No, but –’

  ‘But nothing. We’re not suing.’

  Maybe Cam was right about that. Now her anger had dissipated it didn’t seem such a great idea to drag the whole sorry incident out any further.

  Alli returned to the table sporting fresh lipstick and a bright smile. ‘Sorry about that.’

  ‘No problem. But is everything okay? Do you need to go home?’

  Alli dismissed her concern with a wave of her hand. ‘Goodness no. Greg just got a fright, that’s all. I hadn’t told him we were meeting for dinner, because he never gets home before ten on a Friday.’

  Libby raised her eyebrows in surprise. Cam always stayed for drinks but was usually home by eight. Greg obviously liked to party.

  ‘I don’t mind,’ Alli said quickly. ‘I like having Friday nights to myself. It gives me a chance to catch up on any shows I want to watch or to do things like this. Anyway, apparently Greg had a headache this afternoon so he decided not to stay for drinks tonight. When he got home and I wasn’t there he was worried I might have had an accident on the way home from the hairdresser. I’d missed a couple of earlier calls from him so by the time he got me he was frantic.’

  Libby smiled. It must be nice to have a husband who was so doting. She wondered how long it would take Cam to worry if he arrived home to find her missing. He was so laidback that he’d probably just figure she was out shopping or something. ‘That’s so sweet he was worried. Cam probably wouldn’t even notice!’

  ‘Yes, Greg’s very attentive. Anyway, let’s not waste our girls’ night talking about men. Tonight’s all about us.’ She raised her glass. ‘To girls’ nights out.’ They both laughed and clinked glasses. ‘So, you were saying there was something you wanted to talk about. It’s not Cam, is it? Because if it is, that’s fine. I was only joking when I said no talking about men.’

  ‘No, it’s not Cam. It’s my friend Kit.’

  ‘The one who looked after Harry? I got the impression you two were pretty close.’

  ‘I guess Kit’s more like family than a friend. But this is the first time we’ve lived in the same city since we were at university.’

  ‘Well, that must be nice for you both.’

  ‘Yes.’ Libby put down her drink and toyed with the menu. ‘Actually, it’s weird. Since we’ve been living here things have gotten kind of tense between us. We got into an argument about how she handled the whole Harry incident, and we both said some pretty nasty things, but it’s not just that. I don’t feel like I can be myself around her anymore. The other day I found myself wondering if we met now – without having known each other as kids – would we still like each other? Would we become friends?’

  ‘That’s interesting. What do you think has changed between you?’

  ‘I don’t know. I mean, we haven’t spent a lot of time together since we were kids. Kit was my neighbour when I first moved to Melbourne from the country. My family lost our farm and the only work my dad could find was at the Toyota factory here in Altona. So we moved to Woodvale. I didn’t know it at the time, but my parents were going through a rough patch. A couple of years before I was born my parents lost their son to SIDS. My brother died when he was nine months old and apparently Mum coped by pretending it hadn’t happened. She wouldn’t talk about it to anyone, and shut my father out.’

  ‘Oh, Libby, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘It must have been terrible for them both. Dad wasn’t much of a drinker but he started going into town to the pub for the company. Somehow he took to having a flutter on the ponies and that turned into a bit of an addiction. Well, a big addiction actually. Eventually he lost the farm. It was his inheritance and he lost everything. Mum stuck by him, but I think she resented having to leave her family and she was consumed by the shame of having to start from scratch. My grandparents made sure we didn’t go without, but it killed Mum to have to accept charity, even from her own parents.’

  ‘That must have been hard for you.’

  Libby shrugged. ‘Leaving the farm was hard at first, but it didn’t take long for me to settle in Woodvale. I think what was hard was not knowing why my parents were so . . . I don’t know . . . I guess I never really felt like my mum loved me the way my friends’ mothers loved them. And it was clear that my parents weren’t happy. I just didn’t know why. I couldn’t really mourn a brother who never existed to me, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t affected by his loss. Being born into grief can be a tough gig at times.’

  ‘I can only imagine.’

  ‘My parents never really recovered, so my house wasn’t the happiest to grow up in. Kit, and her mum Jude, were like a substitute family for me.’ She smiled. ‘Kit adopted me on sight. She took me under her wing, and made sure I was included in everything she was. Jude . . . well, Jude was like another mother to me.’ Her voice caught in her throat.

  ‘Are you okay?’

  Libby took a sip of her wine and nodded. ‘I’m fine. It’s just that, well, Jude passed away last year unexpectedly and I guess I’m still pretty broken up about it.’

  Alli’s brow creased in sympathy. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that.’

  Libby took a moment to collect herself. ‘Thanks. It was a terrible shock for Kit,
and for me too. But I try not to show my grief too much when Kit and I are together, because, as she’s pointed out to me in the past, Jude was her mother, not mine.’

  ‘Still, surely you’re allowed to grieve?’

  ‘I guess so. Kit can be a bit territorial about her mum. I think it irks her that Jude and I were so close. In one way she liked it because it made her life easier that her best friend and her mum got along well with each other, but she would get jealous if Jude and I ever did anything without her.’

  Alli nodded her understanding. ‘Has Jude’s passing caused some friction between the two of you?’

  ‘I don’t know. Maybe that’s part of it. Maybe we’ve grown apart over the years, but because of the distance between us, we never really noticed.’

  ‘So your relationship has been a long distance one for a while then?’

  Libby nodded. ‘After I changed high schools and Kit moved away, we started communicating with each other via letters, for some reason, and in some ways I think it was that move that cemented our friendship. We’d pour our hearts out in these long letters to each other. It was quite cathartic really, almost like writing in a diary, but with the added bonus that the diary answered back. We kept our friendship alive via the post and occasional long, rambling phone conversations. Now and then we’d meet up for lunch or a movie or something.’

  Alli smiled wistfully. ‘You’ve just made me think about Linda, my best girlfriend from school. We’d spend all day at school together and then call each other the minute we got home. My mum was always shaking her head and asking me what on earth we could have left to talk about, and my dad was always roaring at me to get off the phone. I have no idea where she is now.’

  Alli’s words pushed a thought to the front of Libby’s mind. Was that what was supposed to happen to childhood friendships? Had she and Kit been kidding themselves all these years and pushed the boundaries of a relationship that should now be nothing more than a sweet memory? A feeling of melancholy enveloped her. ‘Maybe that’s the way it’s meant to be. Perhaps my friendship with Kit shouldn’t have survived past high school, but we somehow managed to keep it alive all these years. When I was sixteen I felt like no one would ever understand me the way Kit did. We were almost like two halves of the same person. Well, it felt that way to me. We were desperate to go to uni together and were beside ourselves with joy when we both got into Melbourne.’ Libby picked up a menu. ‘We probably should order something to eat.’

  Alli shook her head. ‘There’s plenty of time for that. I want to hear the rest of your story first.’

  ‘You’re sure I’m not boring you?’

  ‘Not at all. It’s refreshing to be having a real conversation, one that doesn’t revolve around kids, or handbags or bloody diets. Besides, it sounds to me like you really need to get this off your chest. So go on, tell me all about your uni days.’

  Libby set the menu back down on the table. ‘We spent a bit of time together, but because of our different courses we moved in slightly different circles of friends. In first year we started saving for a trip to Europe. Kit wanted a year off at the end of her arts degree before she started her Dip Ed and I wasn’t really loving studying law so I thought I’d defer my degree for a year and travel with her, but my parents were horrified at this idea. They told me they wouldn’t continue to pay my living costs or my university fees if I deferred. I just couldn’t afford to fund my own education so I had to pull out of the trip. Of course Kit was not thrilled at this development. She argued that I could fund the rest of university myself; that if I moved out of home I could get government assistance or whatever, but I knew my parents would be deeply disappointed if I took that option.’

  ‘So she went on her own?’

  Libby nodded. ‘I felt really bad about the whole thing, but I just couldn’t make it happen. Kit wasn’t pleased and in the end my mum wasn’t happy with me either.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Once Kit left, I decided to move in with Kit’s mum. Jude’s house was much closer to uni and as I didn’t have a car, I was spending ages every day on public transport. Jude offered me free accommodation in exchange for a little bit of housework and grocery shopping. In reality I did very little other than keep her company, but I loved living there. Jude and I had always gotten on well but living together took our relationship to a whole new level.’

  ‘And your mum wasn’t happy about that?’

  Libby sighed. ‘Mum didn’t approve of Jude. She thought she was a woman of “loose morals”.’

  Alli laughed. ‘I see. Was she afraid you’d be corrupted?’

  ‘Something like that. Jude is, was, a lesbian. Mum never could get her head around that fact. But aside from that I think the real problem with me living there was that she was jealous of the relationship Jude and I had. Mum and I were not close when I was growing up and even now we struggle a bit to understand each other. Anyway, Kit went off to London and I stayed home. While she was away I met Cam and fell in love. By the time Kit came back to Australia, Cam had landed a job in his hometown – Sydney – and I’d moved up there to be with him.’

  ‘But your friendship didn’t peter out then? You must have had some reason for keeping it going.’ Alli lifted the bottle out of the ice bucket beside the table. ‘Another?’

  ‘I really shouldn’t. I have to drive home.’

  ‘One more won’t hurt. We haven’t even ordered yet. By the time we get our food and eat it, it’ll be the better part of two hours. You’ll be as sober as a judge.’

  She had a point. And Libby was enjoying the warm, loose feeling the first glass had created in her. Surely one more would be okay. ‘Okay, but this is definitely my last.’

  Alli’s face revealed her glee at this decision and she poured the wine before Libby had the chance to change her mind. ‘So why do you think you and Kit remained so close after you moved interstate?’

  Libby let the champagne swirl on her tongue for a moment, relishing the feel of the crisp bubbles in her mouth. As she swallowed warmth spread through her chest. This was the most relaxed she’d felt in weeks. Alli was such a great listener and the alcohol was exactly what she’d needed to release all the pent-up tension she’d been holding on to. ‘Well, something happened to Kit while she was living in London and, as terrible as it was, it brought us closer together.’

  ‘Oh, I’m intrigued. Tell me what happened.’

  Libby took yet another sip. She’d never disclosed Kit’s secret to anyone other than Cam. ‘I can’t tell you the specifics, because I’d be breaking a confidence. It’s enough to say Kit found herself in a very difficult situation. She made me promise not to tell her mother what was going on, and for better or worse I kept that promise. But I was so worried about her going through such an awful thing alone I made up my mind that I would travel to London to be there for her. Of course I had no money, and I couldn’t ask my parents for the fare – in fact I didn’t even tell my parents I was going. They found out once I’d left the country, which caused a huge rift between Mum and me, but I digress . . .’

  ‘So how did you get the money for the trip?’

  ‘Cam paid for me to go. It was such a selfless thing to do. He’d never even met Kit. I told him it was just a loan and we even drew up a contract so I could pay him back, but I think both of us knew that would never happen. Once he offered the money and I accepted it, it was like there was an unspoken commitment between us. We knew then we were serious.’

  ‘Wow.’

  ‘Yeah. Kit doesn’t know Cam paid for me. He didn’t want me to tell her at the time, and once she came back to Australia, we just didn’t talk about it. Kit’s not one to dwell on things. In fact once we sorted out her problem, Kit glossed over the whole thing. We took a trip to Paris together while I was there and she behaved as if nothing had ever happened. To the rest of the world the story was that I’d gone over to surprise Kit fo
r our birthdays and after a while it was as if Kit believed the story herself.’

  ‘So she never talks about what happened?’

  ‘Hardly ever. If I try to raise it with her, more often than not she shuts me down. Anyway, once that had happened and I knew that I was the only one she trusted with her secret, it made me feel even closer to her. And I wanted to make sure she was doing okay, so I made an effort to keep in touch.’

  ‘What a good friend you are. Kit’s lucky to have you.’

  Libby laughed. ‘Hey, I’m no saint. It wasn’t all one-sided. I was lonely when I first moved to Sydney. I’d dropped out of uni. I told everyone I’d deferred, but I hated uni and never had any intention of going back. I ended up having a couple of months of rattling round in the apartment on my own. I got into the habit of calling Kit once a week and I wrote her letters. From there we progressed to emails, texts and social media – although Kit has only recently come on board with that. It took Harry to convince her to join Facebook, and she hardly ever uses it. Anyway, a lot of our friendship has been conducted in writing or on the phone.’

  Alli nodded. ‘Makes sense that things are strained now, then.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, I know when I talk to people on the phone, or email them, they’re only seeing what I want them to see. I tell them what I want them to know; create the image I want them to have of me, so to speak. Maybe you and Kit have done the same thing.’

  ‘I don’t think that’s it. We’re very honest with each other.’

  Alli didn’t look convinced. ‘Really? So if you and Cam have a fight you tell her all the sordid details?’

  ‘Um, well, maybe not all –’