Joshoku

by Hildred Billings

  Junko opened her mouth to speak again, but her daughter started marching through the neighborhood with a new determination flowing within her veins. I’m going to take my house. The one in holding for another year. Another freakin’ year. I’m going to take it and turn it into my home. Brows furrowed and jaw set as Aiko thought of her future domain. And Reina is going to be with me.

  The thought of starting a new life with her girlfriend was both exhilarating and petrifying. Aiko had no idea how to ask Reina what would happen, or how they would survive. But they had a home waiting for them, and it would be theirs until the world collapsed beneath their feet.

  Aiko knew that she had signed up for an unconventional life with Reina. Her mother may never understand. But starting from that moment, it was no longer Junko’s problem. The youngest baby bird was about to topple out of the nest and spread her wings whether mama bird squawked about it or not – because nobody ruled Aiko’s life but herself.

  Few simple pleasures assuaged the stress in Reina’s life: a cold beer as she chatted with friends, slowly undressing and kissing a woman (for the first or millionth time,) or sitting in her room listening to music and reading magazines after a dip in the bath. But one simple pleasure she never imagined was lounging on a bench beneath the sun with Aiko perched in her lap.

  “I talked to the attorney the other day,” Aiko said, nibbling on a piece of sweet bread she bought at a convenience store. “He said that my house will be released from holding at the end of the year, and then I can start making arrangements. He warned me that it would be almost another year before we could move in.”

  Reina pinched the metal trim of the bench. The shade from a nearby tree hung over her, though a spot of sunlight shone on her girlfriend’s face. “A year, huh?” Reina ignored the bread crumbs falling onto her shirt. “We have to wait another year to move in together.”

  The event had been decided a while ago, when both Reina and Aiko came together to rant about their current living conditions. “I don’t want to live in that house anymore,” Reina had said. “My mother is relentless in making me date boys! She won’t support me looking for a job, and I’m afraid she’s going to set me up on blind dates again,” Aiko replied. That’s when she suggested she and Reina move into the house she inherited. “It’s old and needs to be cleaned out, but it would be ours.”

  Reina never thought she would move in with a girl. Not even Aiko. The only one to come close to sharing that honor was her friend Michiko, but that was before Reina was guilted into staying with her mother. Now that the mortgage was paid off and Sachiko only had one job, she was not only happier, but kinder to Reina. But it wasn’t enough to stay.

  “Can you wait a year?” Aiko chewed on her bread and bounced her feet where they hung over Reina’s lap. People walked by, sending them covert glances, but nobody bothered them. Reina didn’t often show this kind of affection to Aiko in public, but on a beautiful day such as that she was happy to. She put one arm around Aiko’s waist and squeezed her side.

  “A year will go by quickly, na?” A pigeon landed in the walkway before them and pecked the crumbs Aiko dropped. “Before you know it, we will be a real couple.”

  Aiko nearly dropped her snack. “I’ve never heard you talk like this before.” She rambled on about her girlfriend’s new sincerity and how exciting it was, but something else stole Reina’s attention.

  Walking by was a man in a business suit, holding hands with a woman who had frizzy brown hair and wore a dress of red chiffon. They stopped in the middle of Shinjuku Central Park to watch a pigeon coo at a lamppost, laughing when the confused bird wobbled off to bug an auntie for some crackers.

  Reina caught Hitomi’s eye for a second. The warm air grew warmer between them as the other woman squeezed her fiancé’s hand and turned away. Conviction, whether foolhardy or not, lurked in those light brown eyes. Hitomi announced her decision to the world when she stood up on her toes and kissed Ryota on the cheek.

  In Reina’s lap Aiko continued to laugh at the pigeon eating bread crumbs. Good. Don’t see her. Reina’s grip grew tighter on Aiko’s side as Ryota and Hitomi disappeared down the trail.

  “Nee, Ai-chan,” Reina began. She waited for her girlfriend to look up before continuing. “Do you ever think that one day you’ll go back to liking men?”

  Aiko blinked at her as if the sun were in her face. “What do you mean by go back? I was never really interested in them to begin with. Mou, don’t you realize what you have done to me? This coming from the person who got me to have sex with her in a changing room all those months ago. It’s like you don’t understand the power of your joshoku emanating from you, making girls do naughty things. Like threesomes in strip clubs.”

  “Okay, okay, I get it.”

  “That reminds me though.” Aiko crumpled up her paper and slid off Reina’s lap. “I need to get a new bikini for a beach trip we’re taking next week. Want to help?”

  Reina was off the bench faster than she could snatch her girlfriend by the hand and haul her down the trail. Aiko screeched for joy as they tore through flocks of pigeons and startled the aunties on other benches. Of course I want to help. It was in her blood, her soul, and her heart. A lust for life that was only rivaled by the cheerful girl shouting for joy beside her. I want to help her with everything. As long as she didn’t tell Aiko that. Didn’t want it going to her head.

  She almost told her though, when Aiko looked over her shoulder and smiled at her girlfriend. The sunshine poured onto her countenance, a beautiful mirage reflecting the feelings tumbling inside Reina. Her lust, her passion, and her love.

  Maybe Reina’s joshoku wasn’t meant for every woman on Earth to share. But there was one woman it mattered most with, and she called to Reina to hurry up and take her into a changing booth. Other women would come and go throughout their blooming relationship. Aiko was the rock, the compass always pointing Reina in the right direction.

  She loved her. For the first time in Reina’s life, she knew the true difference between the lust and the love for one lovely woman.

  Hildred Billings is a Japanese and Religious Studies scholar who has spent her entire life knowing she would write for a living someday. She has lived in Japan a total of three times in three different locations, from the heights of the Japanese alps to the hectic Tokyo suburbs, with a life in Shikoku somewhere in there too. When she’s not writing, however, she spends most of her time talking about Asian pop music, cats, and bad 80’s fantasy movies with anyone who will listen…or not.

  Her writing centers around themes of redemption, sexuality, and death, sometimes all at once. Although she enjoys writing in the genre of fantasy the most, she strives to show as much reality as possible through her characters and situations, since she’s a furious realist herself.

  Currently, Hildred lives in Oregon with her cat, with dreams of maybe having another human around someday.

  Connect with Hildred on any of the following:

  Website .:. Twitter .:. Facebook .:. Tumblr

  REN’AI RENSAI is an ongoing look at one lesbian couple’s relationship over the span of decades. Below is a short list of other titles currently available and those that are coming soon!

  AVAILABLE NOW

  “DAISUKI.”

  (Novella)

  Two Japanese women attempt to balance their relationship with their society's rigid gender roles, polyamorous relations, and the inability to say "I love you."

  “HATSUKOI.”

  (Novel)

  A young Japanese woman falls in love with a philandering lesbian.

  “SEIKOU.”

  (Novel)

  Three months of wedded bliss later, Reina is on the verge of her biggest breakdown yet. Between her gender dysphoria, lonely boss, hostile in-laws, and a young couple in constant need of her “help,” Reina’s about to drag her wife Aiko down their darkest hole yet.

  “KATAOMOI.”

  (Novel)

  Moving in toget
her was supposed to be a dream come true for Aiko, but Reina’s race to a promotion at work is cutting into their personal time. Can Aiko make new friends to fill the void of her new life as a housewife? Ex-girlfriends, dramatic coming outs, and all-female musicals are the only things standing in her way.

  “KOIBUMI.”

  (Novel)

  Just as Reina is making headway with her gender dysphoria, Aiko is on the verge of her own mid-life crisis: she’s now convinced that only a baby can complete her life. And with a handsome, intelligent man waltzing toward her, will she begin to rethink the whole “lesbian” thing as well? Not if she listens to all the ghosts of her past cropping up like weeds.

  “MITSUSHIN.”

  (Short Story)

  As a Valentine’s Day gift, Reina decides it’s time to introduce her girlfriend into the wonderful world of menage.

  “NANPAKAI.”

  (Short Story)

  For her birthday Aiko is taken to a risque nightclub, where she’s expected to seduce a random stranger.

  “CHINSEKI.”

  (Short Story)

  A menage with a new friend forces Reina to reconsider her attractions and jealousy meter. Continuation of “NANPAKAI.”

  “SHIMONETA.”

  (Short Story)

  When Reina is roped into giving a sex seminar in front of a dozen young women, she ends up with an unlikely student - her wife!

  “TOKOIRI.”

  (Short Story)

  Aiko has waited for her wedding day her entire life, but she never thought she’d be so nervous about consummating her marriage!

  “JIHAKU.”

  (Short Story)

  Against her better judgment, Reina participates with her wife in a local “newlywed” game for a chance to win a great vacation. What should be an easy win, however, throws Reina off her game when she sees who they’re up against!

  “UMIIRO.”

  (Short Story)

  Golden Week in Okinawa provides golden opportunities for fun in the sun. Hopefully not too much fun, because Aiko is worried about being banned for PDA!

  “YARIKON.”

  (Short Story)

  When Reina takes her wife to a Key Party at a friend’s place, she expects to spend some time with a lovely young lady - what she doesn’t know is that it’s her ex-coworker!

  “FURIN.”

  (Short Story)

  Aiko appreciates a good Key Party, especially when she’s paired up with the one young woman she’s been lusting after for months. Takes place alongside “YARIKON.”

  JIAI JOUWA, a spinoff, follows the relationship of Jun and Saya. From the time they meet until they ultimately make the choices that seal their fates forever, this series is not to be missed!

  AVAILABLE NOW

  “DAITE.”

  (Novel)

  Jun has spent most of her life balancing her unfulfilled love life with her endless quest to be named heir to the Nippon Royal business empire, as is her birthright. But when she’s suddenly transferred to manage a hotel in Nagoya, she must restart life all over again: beginning with a mysterious young wanderer with a habit of disappearing after every encounter!

  “AITAI.”

  (Novel)

  Used to living on her own schedule, professional wanderer Saya finds herself with a girlfriend who would like to see her more than three times a year. While Saya wants to be dedicated to Jun, she first has to take care of some business: namely the divorce she’s been seeking for ten years.

  REN’AI RENSAI: GAIDEN takes an alternate look to some of your favorite stories and couples.

  AVAILABLE NOW

  “USOTSUKI.”

  (Novel)

  Lies come between two Japanese women as they navigate first love and the bitter feelings of life not going as planned.

  “NIGOU.”

  (Novel)

  Two women deal with polyamory and a dom/sub relationship while navigating their true feelings for each other.

  For new release information, please join the mailing list!

  Coming This Summer

  Book7 of the REN’AI RENSAI Romance Series:

  “IKIGAI.”

  Reina and Aiko discover that things continue to change even after being together for so long. Both old friends and new come through their lives to show them that what they once knew about themselves may not be the same anymore - that their Reason for Living is always in flux.

  “IKIGAI.” takes place from October, 2014 - Winter, 2015

  For new releases, please visit Hildred’s website and join the mailing list.

  Be sure to check out the new interactive REN’AI RENSAI website at:

  http://www.renai-rensai.com

  Extensive book, character, and setting info, along with opportunities to submit your own fan works, ideas, and questions! Check out the new MATCH MAKER quiz that will match you to your Ren’Ai Rensai soul mate!