House of Cards

by W. J. May

  Devon’s eyebrows came up, but he didn’t say anything.

  “Want to go for a drive?” Some secluded, quiet street?

  He cleared his throat and glanced down. “I’m actually on my way to the train station. Another job.”

  “Seriously?” Rae’s excitement fizzled out like a wet sparkler. “You just got back in last night!” Frustration brewed in Rae’s chest. She had a nagging feeling and wanted to spend some private time with Devon, hoping that would quell it, at least for a little while. However, it seemed the PC would come between them yet again.

  “I know. Julian’s already left.” He reached for her hand but dropped his arm before touching her. “I told him I needed to see you first.”

  Ahhh… She straightened at a thought. “I’ll drive you to the train station!” That nagging feeling was quickly gaining in intensity.

  “Y-You don’t have to drive me. You should rest. You’re probably exhausted.”

  “Oh no you don’t. I’ve barely seen you since, you know, and I have two hours to kill before I have to meet Jennifer.”

  “I was planning on taking my own car. Using the Park N’ Train. Then I could just drive back here when I’m done.”

  “Nonsense. I’ll pick you up when you get back. Just send me a text or call me when you’re half an hour away.” Rae grabbed Julian’s keys off her desk. She was determined to do this, to carve out what time with him she could.

  Devon raised his hands, and smiled like he’d just lost an argument. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot. I just need to grab my bag from my place.”

  Rae chattered about training as they drove the forty minutes to the station. Devon sat quiet the entire ride, nodding now and again when Rae tossed a question his way.

  Now standing in the busy train station everything seemed uncomfortable and she knew she had to ask, even though she half didn’t want to know the answer. “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Liar.” Rae smiled and nudged him with her elbow.

  Devon’s expression remained serious. He seemed to be debating some inner turmoil. He glanced up at the station clock and then back at her.

  “Spill it, Dev,” Rae said, setting her feet shoulder width apart. “It’s better out than in.”

  He paused and dropped his duffle bag at his feet. “I planned to wait till I got back but I’m not sure how long the Privy Council needs me away.” He stared vacantly at the people walking by. “I don’t know how to say it…” He dropped his gaze to the ground. “This isn’t working.”

  “What’s not working?” Goosebumps covered her. Her body seemed to comprehend better than her brain. Everything muted except his voice.

  His next words dropped like a bomb. “It’s… I’m… We need to give each other some space.” Devon finally raised his eyes and met her gaze. “I don’t know how much I’ll be around now and throughout the summer. You need to focus on you, right now. Plus the Privy Council’s got me pretty busy. I don’t want you to have to wait around for me. It’s not fair.”

  Rae rubbed her arms trying to dispel the horrid feeling of cold acid running through her veins. Fear, anger, pain… It all mingled in the pit of her stomach. Where had this come from? She didn’t understand why he suddenly felt this way. “I would never leave you, even if you couldn’t stay. I’d wait for you… forever.” She desperately tried to put the feelings inside of her into words.

  Devon took a step back, sliding his bag along with him. “It’s not about me leaving you or vice versa. What we want is bigger than who we are. We need to put our feelings aside and think about what is best for everyone: for the Privy Council, our families, friends, Guilder.”

  “You know people never accept things they don’t understand, right?” Rae swallowed. She went to touch his arm and realized he’d stepped out of reach. “People are scared of what they don’t know… of different possibilities. We’re different. We could prove to everyone that they have nothing to fear.” She thought about the things her father had written in the journal about marked tatùs being together. She knew Devon, knew at heart he was loyal to the Privy Council and their ideals. She sniffed and wiped the tear running down her cheek. Deep down she knew no matter what she argued, he wasn’t going to change his mind.

  “I’m not here to prove anything to the world.” Devon raked his hands through his hair. “I’d really like to concentrate on my career at this point in my life. And you… you need to focus on your gift. You need to figure out how it works, find all its weaknesses and strengths.” He ran his tongue over his lips and added in a quieter tone, “You also need to protect yourself from your father’s actions.”

  Rae straightened. “I think I can protect myself just fine.” She crossed her arms, ticked he thought of her as weak. She had saved his life!

  “I know you can.” He smiled, but then his face turned serious. He suddenly seemed older. “You’re stronger than you think, and it has nothing to do with your tatù. I know you’ll get through this… get over the idea of us.”

  “I’d wait for you.” She tried again. Seeing the frustrated look on his face, she tried a different, desperate approach. “When your dad told me to stay away from you, I didn’t know what to do or say. I didn’t want to lose you then, like I don’t want to now. Then Kraigan took you. I was willing to risk everything to keep you safe.” I saved you.

  “I know…Julian told me everything that happened.” Devon stepped toward her and reached for her face. He gently rubbed his thumb against her cheek, wiping the tears away. “You’ll always be special, Rae. To everyone. I hope I can still be a part of your life, just not your center. It’s best for you—for both of us.”

  The crowded train station jostled and moved around them. To Rae it felt empty, like her broken heart. Devon was breaking up with her and nothing would change his mind. It didn’t make sense. She needed him in her life, but as more than just friends. How could she block the sound of a heartbeat she’d know anywhere? This was what she had been feeling, what her subconscious had known was coming and been trying to warn her of. She felt sick to her stomach and empty at the same time. This couldn’t be happening. They were meant to be together. She couldn’t accept this.

  Things would change and he’d see he needed her. They had to.

  The station speakers announced Devon’s train would be departing shortly. The monotone voice crackled through the amplifier like a tatù hum through Rae’s body. She made a half-hearted attempt to smile and tried to swallow the baseball-sized lump in her throat. She shifted her weight so his hand dropped away from her face. She would be damned if she broke down in front of him here. He didn’t deserve to see her tears if he was going to do this to her.

  “Shoot, I gotta go. I can’t miss this train.” Devon grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, his eyes never leaving hers. “I’m sorry I hurt you. It was never my intention.”

  Then don’t! Take it back! Her heart begged him, but she wouldn’t let the message shine through her eyes. If he was looking for it, she wanted to deprive him of it. He didn’t deserve it. Thoughts rushed through her mind now. If she hadn’t pushed him into letting her take him to the station, when would he have done it? Did I bring this on myself by pushing him? Or has he been meaning to do this for a while and never had the balls to just say it until now? Why now you jerk?

  They stared at each other, neither of them speaking. The monotone voiced the final boarding call.

  “Go do your duty and serve your country.” She winced at the hardness in her voice; it reminded her of the way her father talked. She didn’t care. “It’s all about being top with your precious Privy Council, isn’t it?” Well, I work there now too. Let’s see how long you stay at the top.

  He opened his mouth then closed it, setting it into a tight, thin line.

  Rae let out a long, slow breath, trying to release the tension still tight in her throat. Impulsively she reached out but stopped herself. She dropped her arm, turned and walked away
from the guy she had thought was the most important person in her life.

  Outside of the station she ran to Julian’s car. She slammed the door shut and buried her face in her hands. Normal girls in the normal world would go call their best friend and/or mother, and sob into pints of ice cream to get over a broken heart. As far as Rae knew, girls in the tatù world did the same. Her problem was that she wasn’t quite in either world. She couldn’t tell anyone she’d just been dumped. Her best friend didn’t know, couldn’t know, that she had been dating Devon. She didn’t have a mom to wrap her arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. She had only had Devon, but now, she had no one.

  It hurt. More than any physical pain she’d ever endured. Whoever said that there was life after love, lied. They’d lied big time, and no healing tatù was going to fix it.

  Chapter 5

  Denial

  Rae knew the five stages of grief. She had gone through the whole process with a therapy councilor when her mom and dad had died. She had been six.

  This, weirdly, felt the same. The end of their relationship felt like she was experiencing a death, of sorts. It just seemed surreal. Could she have dreamt it?

  She forced Julian’s sports car into the next gear and muttered the stages, “Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.” As a child, she had skipped the bargaining phase. She had been too young to understand the concept, so she had gone straight to accepting the loss, but it had taken years due to the horrific events. Now, she had to go through the stages all over again. It felt so unfair. “This is bull!” she yelled at the un-cooperating, grinding gearshift.

  It couldn’t be happening. This had to be a bad dream. They had barely just started. She loved him. No way he didn’t feel the same! Something had to be up. Maybe the Privy Council had found out and told him to end it. “That has to be it,” she whispered to herself. She would talk to him when he got back. Or maybe sooner.

  She glanced down for her phone. How soon was too soon? She didn’t want to appear desperate, but losing him wasn’t an option.

  A car horn honked behind her and she realized the light had turned green. She pressed the gas and gunned the car through the intersection. The clock radio said she had about thirty minutes before she had to meet Jennifer for training. Angrily she wiped the tears coursing down her cheeks. She shouldn’t be crying.

  This was her fault; her family, her curse. It seems she was always destined to lose what she held most dear, one way or another.

  She pulled the car into an empty parking space and went through her purse for a tissue. She blew her nose and concentrated on her breathing. Red eyes and wet nose would only invite questions and attention. No freakin’ way! I’ve had enough of that! She wiped her eyes one more time, checked the mirror to make sure her mascara had not turned her into a raccoon and tuned into the healing tatù. It wouldn’t fix her heart, but it might fix her red eyes, puffy nose and the headache trying to crack her skull open.

  Amazingly, it worked. Molly had bought her makeup and the mascara was probably waterproof. She had never bothered to check. Trust Molly to think ahead enough to buy waterproof mascara. Her stomach growled. The bowl of cereal she had downed that morning before stealing back her father’s journal had long ago been burned off. The journal! That bloody thing only brings bad luck! She needed to get that thing out of her room! She bent down and glanced out the passenger window. She had parked right in front of a café.

  Grabbing the keys and her purse, she inhaled one last time and shook her head. The cool air would dry whatever tears she’d missed on her cheeks.

  She ran into the café casually clicking the button on the key ring that would lock the car. Julian wouldn’t be too impressed if she got his expensive sports car stolen.

  “That’s yours? Impressive!”

  Rae glanced down her arm and realized her fingers were inches away from someone’s head. The head belonged to a boy with a long, muscular body. Hello eye candy. That’s what Molly called cute guys. The boy had light brown, almost blonde, brush cut hair. It was so thick, she wondered for a moment if his scalp actually got wet when he showered or swam. She blinked and forced the silly thought out of her head. “It’s actually a friend’s. He let me borrow it.”

  The boy turned around. Hazel green eyes met her gaze. They slid over her very quickly before meeting hers again. “Your boyfriend is very trusting.” He rested his right arm on the back of his chair as he grinned at her. He had to be close to her age. Fitting term that…eye candy.

  No, my boyfriend just dumped me ten minutes ago. Well gee, can’t say that. Out of habit, Rae glanced down to see if he had a tatù. There were tattoos on his arms, but none of them were a tatù. Nothing. “He’s actually not my boyfriend. Just a friend.”

  The good-looking boy chuckled. “Then he desperately wants to be your boyfriend.”

  Julian? No way. “I highly doubt it. He’s more like an older brother.”

  “Does he know you feel that way?” The boy grinned.

  She smiled, despite her horrible morning. His humor was contagious. “Definitely.”

  He rose and held his hand out to her. “I’m Luke, by the way.”

  She checked his arm again before shaking it. He seemed friendly and honest, but she wasn’t about to trust a perfect stranger. The only tingle she felt came from the small shock when she touched his skin. His hand was warm and firm in hers. “I’m Rae.”

  He blinked, as if confused she had a boy’s sounding name. “Unique name. Very cool. It’s nice to meet you, Rae. And your car.” He winked and pointed to his empty cup. “I’m about to grab another cuppa. Can I get you something?”

  “Are you in the habit of offering strangers something to drink?”

  He didn’t miss a beat. “Only beautiful ones my age who drive fast cars.”

  She laughed. “Thanks, but I can get my own.” She walked to the short line and Luke followed her. She read the menu options and glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

  He stood, his hands in his pockets, grinning, not even trying to hide the fact that he was watching her.

  His boldness tickled her. She pretended to ignore him. After ordering a coffee and croissant to go, Rae paid and turned to leave.

  Luke touched her elbow. “Can you wait a sec?”

  Rae glanced at her watch. “I’m in a bit of a rush.”

  He smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry. I…I…” He cracked one of his knuckles. “You don’t know me and I have no idea who you are… I just…” He sighed and then straightened. “Screw it,” he mumbled to himself, but Rae heard him clearly. “Can I give you my number? I’m not some crazy stalker. I promise!” He chuckled. “Though I kinda sound like one at the moment.” He grabbed a receipt off the counter that someone must have left, and found a pen. He wrote down his number and handed it to her. “Here. Toss it or keep it or whatever. I would just regret it the rest of my life if you walk out of here and I didn’t give it to you.”

  Rae stared at him. Could this day get any crazier? “Thanks.” She didn’t know what else to say. Awkward. She slipped the receipt in her pocket and headed for the door. She glanced out the car window at the café before driving away. Luke sat at his table with his hand on his forehead, shaking his head like what he had just done embarrassed him. Poor guy.

  Her phone vibrated inside her pocket. She grabbed for it. Maybe Devon wanted to beg her to forget everything he had said. She set the phone on the holder Julian had installed in the car so it would be hands free.

  The phone picked the call up before she had a chance to check the caller id.

  “Rae! Where are you?” Molly spoke with a froggy voice, like she had just woke up.

  “I’m on my way to training.”

  “With the Privy Council?” Molly was the only one, besides Julian and Devon, who knew she had signed a contract to work with them. She blew an exasperated breath into the phone, it sputtered against the expensive speakers of Julian’s car. “Is this going t
o be every weekend now?”

  “It might be. I have no idea what the set-up’s going to be. I’m probably going to be pretty crazy busy till the end of the school year.”

  Molly sighed. “Tell them you need to spend time with your best friend.”

  Rae smiled. “I don’t know how understanding they’ll be.” She took a sip of her coffee and Luke’s image popped into her head. She couldn’t tell Molly Devon had just broken up with her, but she could mention the boy without a tatù. It would make Molly’s day. “You’ll be proud of me.”

  “Why?”

  She forced the image of Devon out of her head and tried to remember exactly what Luke looked like. The more she tried, the more he looked like Devon. “A super cute guy just gave me his phone number.”

  Rae cringed when a loud crash bounced through the speakers. Molly jumped back on the line. “Sorry, I dropped the phone. I was that shocked! Where did you meet him? Not at Guilder, I hope. He doesn’t have a tatù, does he? Did you get a picture? Send it to me right now!”

  Rae turned the car into a gated driveway. She flashed her new badge at the screen and the large cast iron gates began sliding open. The drive looked like it led to a mansion house but just as the drive veered to the right for the house, there was a small, nearly hidden gravel drive that led to the left. Rae followed the gravel and waited patiently as Molly continued to drill questions without letting Rae respond. She knew it would wind down eventually.

  “Well, who is he?”

  “I grabbed a coffee and he was there. His name’s Luke.”

  “Where does he go to school? Or is he older?”

  Rae glanced in her review mirror. No one had followed her. She wasn’t sure why she thought someone might have. The Privy Council had surveillance everywhere. No one could get in here without proper accreditation. “He’s about our age. Maybe a year or two older. Julian let me borrow his car this morning, and when I walked into the café Luke made a comment about the car. He asked if it was my boyfriend’s.” Just saying the word made her think of Devon again and her heart hurt. She wished there was a tatù to turn off emotions.