Worthy of the Harmony (Mountains & Men Book 2)

by Martin, R. C.

  “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she murmurs, her dark green eyes peering up at me.

  I shake my head as I lean down and press a soft kiss against her lips. “Just glad you’re here, baby doll.”

  She reaches for my hand and I lace my fingers with hers. “Me too,” she tells me. Her response makes me want to kiss her again—so I do. “Are you nervous?” she asks as I lead her inside. The others arrived just a couple minutes before us and I’m anxious to join them.

  “Nah,” I answer. “This is going to be fun.”

  “Do you ever get nervous?”

  “Sometimes,” I say with a shrug. “Usually when we’re playing someplace new, in front of a crowd I’m unsure of. There’s always this moment, right before I walk out on stage; it’s like I’m about to lose my nerve. But then, when I get out there, when I get the mic in my hand…” I shake my head, my mind imagining exactly what it feels like to shed my stage anxiety.

  When we enter the little lobby of the studio, and I see the guys all standing around, a smirk tugs at my mouth before I continue.

  “No matter what, I’ve got my crew behind me. As cheesy as it may sound, knowing we have each other’s backs, knowing that it takes all of us to be any good, I just know when to man up and do my part. Can’t let my nerves get the best of me.”

  “Well, you are far braver than I, Sage McCoy.”

  I wink down at her just as Stefany appears from behind a closed door, a big, burley dude with a long beard and a graying ponytail following behind her.

  “Morning boys, Alex, and…two chicks I don’t know,” she says, running her fingers through her blonde locks. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen it down. It’s wavy and hangs just above her shoulders. When she folds her arms across her chest, lifting her eyebrows expectantly, a dubious, lopsided smile on her face, I realize that she’s expecting an introduction.

  “Oh, yeah—Stefany, this is Millie—my girlfriend—and that’s Violet.”

  “My girlfriend,” says JJ.

  “Ah. Girlfriends. Girlfriends in the studio are cool only if they inspire you to work harder.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll kick his ass if you need me to,” says Violet with a nonchalant shrug.

  “I like you already,” Stefany says with a laugh. “Okay, we’ve only got three hours, so I want to get you in there. This,” she turns and motions with her hands to the man standing behind her, “is Tank. Tank is one of my favorite sound engineers, isn’t that right, Tank?”

  He rolls his eyes and shakes his head but doesn’t say a word. Stefany laughs, patting him on the arm.

  “Tank, this is Sage, Derrick, Knox, Maddox, JJ, and Alex—otherwise known as Mountains & Men. Now,” she claps her hands before rubbing them together. “Let’s get in there.”

  “You guys ever been in a state of the art studio before?” asks Tank, his voice gruff and low. We all answer with a no of some sort and he nods before motioning us to follow him. “I’ll give you the lay of the land before we start.”

  SAGE HOLDS MY hand through the duration of the tour. Every time he sees something that excites him, or any time Tank says something that fascinates him, he gives my hand a squeeze. He does it unintentionally, which makes it even better. Tank has his undivided attention—rather, he has everyone’s undivided attention—except mine. Mine is definitely divided. To me, what everyone finds so enthralling is just a bunch of really expensive equipment that does a bunch of fancy things that I know not how to appreciate. What I appreciate more is how in awe everyone else is.

  Every time Sage squeezes my hand, a jolt of electricity shoots up my arm, heading straight to my stomach, igniting a burst of tingles. There’s something about being here with him, about experiencing this first with him, about bearing witness to the beginning of something amazing—there’s just something about it that’s incredibly overwhelming, but in the most wonderful way. Now that I’m here, I take back my flippant response to his earlier quip about girls bitch slapping a chick to be in my place.

  I can’t lie. I’d act undignified if he expressed any desire to share this with any other girl who wasn’t me.

  Right here, right now, I know I’m falling for him a little bit more.

  It still scares me, but I won’t run from it anymore. It’s too late to escape my reality. I accept the importance of him in my life. The lingering trepidation that he may one day leave me, just like they always do, is temporarily in the shadow of his presence. I’m not naive or stupid. I know by letting my guard down, I’ve left myself entirely unprotected against the possibility of losing him, but he makes it nearly impossible for me to bask in the worry of anything beyond now. Beyond the promise of our relationship. Beyond his constant affection.

  I am his and he is mine. I hold fast to that truth as I hold his hand, all of us making our way into the sound proofed room filled with instruments.

  “Who’s the drummer?” asks Tank, pulling me from my thoughts. Derrick lifts a hand, stepping forward, and Tank nods. “You can play on the house kit. Get comfortable. Let’s get the rest of you set up and we’ll do a sound check.”

  “Come on, ladies,” says Stefany as she begins to back her way out of the room. “You can hang with me in the booth.”

  I start to pull away from Sage, but he pulls me back.

  “Aren’t you going to kiss me for luck?”

  I smile up at him, resting my freehand against his chest. I know as well as anyone that his raw talent has brought him this far, and nothing I say or do will make it stop now. “You don’t need luck,” I murmur.

  “You ain’t lying, doll face,” he says, leaning down to line up our lips. He stops just a breath away. “Need a taste anyway.”

  I grip a fistful of his shirt before pushing up on my tiptoes, eliminating the space between his mouth and mine. We kiss only for a moment, but it’s enough to stir a hint of longing. He pulls away with a smile and then taps my ass. I shake my head, unable to wipe the grin off my face as I turn and follow Violet and Stefany out of the room.

  “God, I love you two,” Violet gushes when I catch up to them. She links her arm with mine as we make our way to the big, worn, comfy couch squeezed into the room behind the glass partition. “He’s totally squishy about you.”

  “Squishy?” I question, lifting an eyebrow at her.

  “Yeah,” she says with a giggle. “The guy can barely keep his hands or lips off of you. He makes this totally endearing face when you two are texting. His whole demeanor changes when you walk into a room. And he’s been writing songs like a mad man since you got together. It’s like I told you a few weeks ago—you look good on him.”

  “So, you’re his muse, huh?” Stefany asks, leaning up against the sound board as she looks at me. She seems more fascinated than judgmental, but I still don’t really know how to answer her.

  “Absolutely,” Violet insists, nodding enthusiastically. She tosses her head, causing her bangs to flop out of her eyes and across her forehead as she addresses Stefany. “JJ told me you picked the song they are recording today.”

  “Yeah, I did,” she says with a smile. She looks back over her shoulder into the next room as she continues to speak. “I don’t know why, but this one felt right.” She shrugs, turning back to us. “I love their stuff—but this one is different, somehow. I think it could be their break-out hit.”

  “Well, Just Tonight is about Millie,” Violet replies.

  Stefany’s lips turn down into an impressed frown as she pushes herself upright. “Hope he keeps you around, then.” She winks and then turns to check on their progress. When her phone rings, she excuses herself to answer it. She leaves, but her words remain.

  Hope he keeps you around.

  I wonder what that means. I wonder what it is she’s experienced in the world of music. How many girlfriends has she met who have turned into bitter ex-groupies? How many relationships has she watched fall apart while she’s on the road? How many boyfriends has she seen cheat or lie while they were aw
ay?

  Sage has never lied to me before, but what will six weeks apart do to us?

  I draw in a deep breath as I shift my focus into the next room. Sage is laughing with Maddox and Knox as Tank helps JJ finish his set up. When they all leave, he’ll have his best friends by his side—the men who have been a part of his life, who have shared and invested into his passion for years. He’ll be busy doing exactly what he’s always wanted—exactly what he was meant to do. I’ll be left here. Alone.

  I’ll miss him terribly, but will he miss me just as much? Or will I be a casualty of his dream?

  Hope he keeps you around.

  Am I allowed to be surprised if he doesn’t?

  Dare I dream that he will?

  “OKAY, LET’S DO a dry run. I’ll adjust some levels and then we’ll get crackin’,” says Tank as he heads for the door. Just as he opens it, Stefany bursts in. “About to get started, Stef.”

  “Fantastic! I’ll only be a second, I swear.” He offers her a curt nod before she jogs the rest of the way into the room and bounces on her toes in front of us. “I just got off the phone with Heath.” She pauses, as if that name is supposed to mean something to us, and we look at each other in confusion. A sly smile pulls at her lips as she props her fists against her hips. “Lawful Sinners’ manager.”

  “Goddamn. Out with it, woman, you’re killin’ us!” cries Maddox.

  She laughs. “Okay, okay, okay! They caught wind that you’ll be part of their tour and they want to see you in action before we leave. Not to worry,” she says, holding her hands out in front of her as if to brace herself. “Even if you suck ass—which you won’t—this isn’t an audition. But, they want to get a feel for you guys. So, they’ve invited you to play with them. Three weeks from now. At The Fillmore.”

  “The Fillmore? Are you serious?” mutters JJ.

  “Yup. Welcome to the A-list of up and comers, boys and girl.”

  “Holy shit,” I manage. We’ve never played at a venue as big as The Fillmore. It’s located in the art district of Denver. It’s the hottest spot for bands like Lawful Sinners. It’s just one step away from the fucking Pepsi Center.

  “Wipe up your drool, guys—Tank’ll kill you if you ruin his equipment. Besides, The Fillmore will soon be child’s play, if I have anything to do about it. Now, let’s record some music, shall we?” She hurries out of the room just as fast as she came, and a slow smile makes its way onto my face.

  This is fucking awesome!

  “Lawful Sinners…we’re—we’re going to meet Lawful Sinners in three weeks?” Alex squeaks.

  “Babe—lookin’ a little green over there. You alright?” asks Maddox with a frown.

  “Yeah. I just…” Her words trail off as she starts gathering her hair up into a ponytail and away from her neck and back. “Is it suddenly hot in here?”

  “Zip, why are you freaking out? You’ve known all along that we were going to be touring with them,” I remind her.

  “Mmmhmm, yeah,” she sighs before drawing in a deep breath. “I’m not freaking out. I’m fine. I’m great. Three weeks? Yeah. That’s—that’s awesome.”

  “Alex—Alex, look at me,” I insist. She does as I say, her brown eyes wide and filled with obvious worry. I shake my head and smirk as I take a couple steps toward her. “Mad Lips is right; you really are our church mouse—petrified until the beat drops, at which point you turn into a badass. It’s actually kind of cute—but we’re not cute, Zip.”

  “That’s for damn sure,” Knox grunts.

  “Mountains & Men, babe. Mountains & Men,” says Maddox.

  “Their shit is sick, but I bet you could play circles around their bass player,” Derrick adds with a shrug.

  “That’s the truth.” I point at Derrick but keep my eyes trained on Alex. Her cheeks turn rosy as a slight smile plays at her lips. “But that’s not even the point. You’re just as worthy of an introduction as they are. They’re people, we’re people—we all have one thing in common. Music. Just do your thing, Zip. And don’t puke. We’re about to go on a wild ride and it’s going to be one hell of a time.” She smiles at me, more confidently this time, and I arch my brow in question. “You good?”

  “I will be. Let’s drop the beat.”

  I chuckle and offer her a nod before taking the headphones from around my neck and putting them over my ears. Everyone else follows suit as I step in front of the mic.

  “Go for it,” Tank says, his voice filling our ears.

  That’s all Derrick needs to hear before he does exactly as Alex requests and drops the beat.

  I CAN HEAR EVERY word that passes between them as I watch Sage calm Alex down. He’s sweet to her. That, in and of itself, doesn’t particularly surprise me. I’ve seen it before. I’ve gotten jealous of it before. I’d like to think that everything that passes between them is about the music, just as he said. Just like he told me a couple weeks ago, on the night he owned my body in his laundry room. Twice.

  But today—it’s different. Today, I’m not so much taken by his behavior as I am worried about hers. When he turns back to his mic, sliding his headphones over his ears, her eyes follow him. Furthermore, the smile on her lips has me questioning just how much his encouragement means to her.

  Hope he keeps you around.

  After six weeks away, every day and night spent with that doe-eyed look trained on him, will he? She’s a part of his world in a way that I never will be. He thinks that I see him, but every single person in this studio understands his passion in a way that I do not. Of course I know how much it means to him; I’m aware that my dreamer is so much more than the arrogant little shit I was sure I was meeting that first night at The Brew; I’m positive that the blood that runs through his veins is fueled with his drive to share his music—to sing with the world. But it’s not something we share. It’ll never be something we share. Will our separation open his eyes to that fact? And with his eyes open, will he see the look on Alex’s face that I just saw?

  “Hey,” Violet catches my attention, snapping her fingers in front of my face. “What are you thinking so hard about, missy?” She narrows her eyes at me, as if she already knows the answer.

  “Nothing. It’s nothing,” I mutter, leaning back against the couch.

  “Come on,” she insists, shifting her body sideways so that she’s facing me. “We’re friends, right?” She lowers her voice so that only I can hear her over the boys and Alex’s playing. “You can tell me.”

  For a moment, I’m speechless. The number of people I’ve had in my life who I could confide in are so few, I could count them on one hand. These days, the amount of people who seem to boast of a friendship with me is actually quite appalling. I’m not sure how I got here, but Violet is right. I do consider her a friend. She’s made it kind of hard not to. However, I’m not sure if I’m ready to open up about my insecurities.

  “I saw it too, you know,” she murmurs, looking through the glass partition before looking back at me. “He’s an easy guy to crush on. Believe me. I’ve seen many a girl fall victim to those blue eyes and that sexy smile. But I also know him. I know him well. He’d never do anything to betray you.”

  I suck in a breath and let it out slowly. Violet smiles at me kindly, obviously taking that as the confirmation she was after.

  “His ex…” She shakes her head and lifts a single shoulder in a shrug. “I just know he would never betray you. Not with anyone. Not ever.”

  I study her for a moment, wondering if she’ll give me more. She doesn’t. Just like Derrick, she only makes it clear how much this other woman hurt him. Though, what that has to do with me, I’m not so sure.

  Violet may be sure that Sage would never betray me, but leaving me and betraying me are not necessarily the same thing. I can’t deny that deep down in my soul, the truth is inescapable—no matter how hard I try. It’s just like my mother told me, what she’s always taught me—what life has taught me.

  They always leave.

  BY THE TIME
we’re headed out, Tank is pretty happy about the tracks we’ve laid down. He says it’ll take him a couple hours to get it just the way he wants it, but he gives us a little taste of what he’s got. We sound so fucking amazing that I can hardly believe it’s us. Stefany is beaming as we make our way out of the studio, and she all but demands we go grab a bite to eat to celebrate.

  “Burgers. Burgers and milkshakes—that’s how it’s done. I know this place not too far from here. Just follow me!”

  We all oblige, with no reason to argue, and our amped up, rowdy bunch fills the joint with conversation and laughter for the next hour. The more time we spend with Stefany, the more obvious it becomes that fate brought us together. She’s the shit—totally down to earth, but also completely professional and determined to see us succeed.

  We win—she wins.

  It isn’t until the bill comes that I realize Millie’s been really quiet. I also notice that she didn’t eat all of her French fries. I know how much my girl loves her French fries, so I know something is up. On our way out, I take her hand in mine and give her fingers a squeeze. I ask her what’s wrong and she tells me that she’s just tired.

  Bullshit.

  When we’re alone in my car, on the way back up to Fort Collins, she speaks to me for the first ten minutes. We discuss the recording session and the next time we’ll be down to work on a couple more songs. She’ll be teaching, mostly, so she won’t be able to come, but she doesn’t seem too bothered or disappointed by that. I wonder if she got bored today, listening to us play the same thing over and over again.

  I turn on a little music, wondering if maybe she’ll crash on the drive back, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t talk, and I don’t like it one fucking bit. Given that she blew me off the last time I asked her what was wrong, I don’t ask again. Instead, I let the silence rule as an idea comes to mind.

  I hop off the interstate three exits early, taking the back roads to Derrick’s plot of land. When I pull off the main street and park in the middle of the field, she finally speaks.