Blessed Fate (Blessed Tragedy)

by HB Heinzer

  "Should I call Jon?" She threatened, and I knew she meant it. Jon had zero tolerance when it came to anyone riding a motorcycle after drinking ever since his brother dumped his bike. James was crazy smart, but he had never been the same and still had short-term memory loss because of his mistake.

  "Whatever." I shook my head as I followed Mike to his car. "Might want to be careful, people might start to think you care."

  "Goodnight, Colton." When I reached Mike's car, I looked back to the house to see Rain watching us go. I made a mental note to thank everyone who pushed me to follow her here.

  I wasn't expecting Rain to rush to meet me when Mike dropped me off the morning after our near reconciliation, but I had been hoping she would have been a little happier to see me. The walls weren't fully back in place, but she was definitely more guarded when she was sober.

  We spent most of the rainy day hanging out in the rec room watching TV. With the exception of our first night in Florida, it was the first time we were Colton and Maddie. And yes, I had reached the point where I saw a difference between the two sides of the woman I loved and thought of her almost like two different people. She would probably have my balls if I ever admitted it to her, but there were times I liked Maddie more than Rain; she was soft and friendly where Rain worked hard to be cold and edgy.

  The next day was much of the same, sitting around the house doing absolutely nothing. I have never been good at doing nothing. Of course, doing nothing was made a bit more bearable by the fact that I spent the day with Rain sprawled across my lap on the sectional sofa.

  "So, I was thinking..." I looked down to make sure she was still awake. One of Rain's favorite pastimes was napping, which worked well for me seeing as one of mine was watching her sleep. She turned her head so she was looking up at me, so I continued. "Why not invite Garrett over for dinner?"

  "Um, okay..." Her eyebrows scrunched together as if she was waiting for the punch line. Granted, I hadn't been the world's biggest fan of Garrett Dietrich, but if it helped get things back on track for us, I was willing to do just about anything.

  "I just thought it might be good to get to know him a bit. You don't want me to be jealous of him, so what better way to take care of that than to spend some time with him?" The words coming out of my mouth weren't exactly the ones I wanted to say, but I was getting used to that.

  "Somehow, I don't think it really matters if you know the guy or not. I figured you and Jon knew each other pretty well, and you got jealous of him." She may have had a point, but it pissed me off that we were back to the beginning of all the shit.

  "You've got to be kidding me. I thought we were past that. I'm a dick when I drink. When I drink as much as I did that night, I'm a major —"

  She poked me in the ribs. "Relax! I was giving you shit. You know, it's that thing we used to do all the time." I took a deep breath, thankful that she wasn't being serious but agitated that she had picked that particular hot button to push.

  Instead of the three of us getting together for a casual dinner, Rain turned it into a family affair. Mike, being the only one who knew everything that was going on, seemed particularly interested in every move I made. It didn't help that he and Garrett worked together, meaning he had even more of a reason to side with the hometown boy should anything go wrong.

  Both of Rain's brothers took off shortly after their dad called it a night, leaving the three of us alone on the deck. Garrett's body language told me he had heard all about my temporary insanity; he seemed less than thrilled to having me around.

  "Guys, I'm going to head up to bed. Tomorrow's going to be a long day." She leaned over to give me a quick hug. "Be nice," she whispered in my ear before going into the house.

  When I said I wanted to get to know Garrett, the thought of being in a one-on-one setting with him had never crossed my mind. It felt like that was common ground he and I shared as we both stared into the starless night. It was important to Rain that we get along, so we were both trying, but that didn't make it any easier for us to talk to one another.

  "So, did you really think I was screwing your girl?" Garrett made no attempt to look at me as he asked the question.

  "Screwing? No." It was the truth. In my drunken haze, I might have said shit to that effect, but I knew better than that. When I was sober, it was more seeing them share a closeness that she didn't show many people that upset me.

  "But?" He asked, the expression on his face tightening as he waited for my answer.

  My head fell back against the chair. I was fairly certain I would be explaining that particular incident when I was ninety and living in a nursing home. "Look, you know Rain. She doesn't open up to people. Our manager, who I will admit is a raging bitch and would love nothing more than to see Rain pushed out of the band, somehow got her hands on pictures of the two of you from the last time she was back here. She looked happy; it's pretty obvious you two are close. I guess I just got upset because in our world, I'm about the only person she feels comfortable enough with to look at the way she looked at you. And seeing as I've waited five years to be with her, it pissed me off."

  Garrett nodded, seeming to understand where I was coming from. "Okay, and the thing with your drummer?" I should have known better than to think she had held anything back from this guy. She told me on more than one occasion that he was her go-to guy, her person, now that they were talking again.

  "I plead the fifth of alcohol," I deadpanned. Bad joke, yes, but I had never been known for being appropriate. "Seriously, I was sloppy drunk by the time she got back from having a long-ass talk with Jon. It was the same day I got the pictures. I kinda lost it at that point."

  It felt necessary to give this guy whatever answers he wanted. From watching him and Rain throughout the night, she was right; I had nothing to be worried about. I was the expert at knowing what her friend-zone looked like, and he was planted deeper in it than I'd ever been.

  "You're going push her away if you keep that shit up. You know that, right?" I felt like I was in some alternate reality; the guy I had thought was moving in on my girl was now giving me advice on dealing with her.

  "Think I already did that," I sighed. I felt my eyes closing, over a week of tossing and turning at night was catching up with me.

  "Nah, she's pissed, sure, but you haven't pushed her away totally. Trust me, if you had you wouldn't be here right now." Garrett drained his beer and tossed the empty into the small bin along the rail. "I'm gonna head out. Do you have a problem with me riding out with her brothers to catch the show?"

  After emptying my own beer, I stood and offered my hand to help him up from his chair. "No, I think she'd really like that. And now that I'm not being an asshat, you're actually an alright guy."

  "Cool. I'm going to head up and say goodnight to Maddie if she's still awake." I followed him upstairs, hoping she would see that we were getting along now.

  The room was dark when I opened Rain's door. I couldn't tell if she had already fallen asleep. I rapped my knuckles softly on the door. "Can we come in?"

  "Yeah," she said, her voice gravelly. I felt bad, knowing that we had woken her up. Her eyes flitted back and forth between Garrett and me, assessing the mood in the room.

  Garrett and I both sat on the edge of her bed at the same time. We hadn't planned it that way, but it worked. "I just wanted to say goodnight and see if you still wanted me to come tomorrow," Garrett said as he pushed back a lock of hair that had fallen in Rain's face. I felt my stomach turn and silently scolded myself for the hint of jealousy.

  "Yeah, as long as that asshole isn't going to do something that'll get him arrested if you're there." Through the sliver of light shining in from the hall, I could see her staring at me.

  "We're cool. I'd like him to be there, he's obviously a good friend to put up with your shit as long as he has." I meant it. Garrett had been her friend most of her life and even if Maddie was a much sweeter girl than Rain, I couldn't imagine how much she had dealt out over the years. I re
ached beside me and started caressing her calf. She flinched but didn't pull away, so I allowed my hand to rest there.

  "Okay, well I think we're leaving here by about seven. If you're riding with my brothers, be here then." It felt like Rain was testing me to see if I would show any signs of jealousy as she knelt on the bed next to Garrett wearing nothing but a tank top and panties. It took every bit of self-control I could call on, but I managed to allow her to say goodnight to him without losing it. "Thanks for setting him straight," she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

  I waited until I heard the front door close before turning to face her. Lying next to her was the only place in the world I wanted to be, but that wasn't my decision to make, and I couldn't ask her to let me stay. So, I did what any man raised around women did; I skirted around the issue. "You want me to crash in the rec room?"

  "Depends," she said sweetly. There it was again, that glimmer of hope she had dangled in front of me for two days.

  "On?" I asked, wondering what her conditions were going to be.

  "Can you keep your hands to yourself?" As she asked the question, she turned back the sheets and moved two of the pillows out from beneath her.

  "I'll give you a ninety-two percent guarantee." No way in Hell was I going to flat-out guarantee I wouldn't touch her. I would do my best, but I wasn't going to be held accountable for what I did in my sleep.

  I heard her holding back laughter at my randomness. "Not good enough. If I remind you that my dad is two doors down, what percentage do I get?"

  "Three hundred and fifty percent. I like my balls too much." I didn't wait for her to answer; I flopped into the bed next to her. Feeling her silky hair on my skin as she laid her head on my chest made my body stir in ways that weren't good with her dad down the hall.

  "I miss you," she whispered.

  "I miss you, too." I leaned forward to kiss the crown of her head. "I miss you so much. I meant it when I said you're killing me."

  Her petite fingers brushed up and down my ribs, causing my breathing to shallow as I focused on keeping my body mindful of the fact nothing could happen beyond cuddling. "We might be okay. Someday."

  "I'll take someday. I'll take whatever I can get with you." I brushed my lips against her and rolled her body so her back pressed into my chest.

  If it wouldn't have made me dump my bike, I would have pulled out my phone to take a picture of Jon and Travis as Rain and I pulled up next to the bus at Comstock the next morning.

  "So, I'm assuming you kissed and made up?" Jon asked as soon as I cut the engine on the bike. I mouthed "thanks" to him before responding out loud. I wasn't ready for Rain to know I had followed her because everyone who knew anything about the situation told me I was a fool if I didn't.

  "Well, she's not threatening to castrate me, so I guess that's a start," I laughed.

  "Good. I think we'll all breathe a little easier now that your balls are safe." Travis sounded a little annoyed. I needed to find time to talk to him, because even though Rain and I wound up being the closer friends, I knew he would always feel a sense of responsibility for her since he is the one who brought her into the group.

  "Well, looks like you really can have your cake and eat it too." My head snapped in Rain's direction as Garrett and I walked off the bus. I had just finished showing him our home on the road. Tanya was standing next to Rain looking directly at us.

  "What in the hell is that supposed to mean, Tanya?" Rain stood a bit taller as she challenged the woman I hoped was very soon to be our former manager.

  "Not many people are slick enough to get the boyfriends to be best friends. Kudos." I moved to intervene at Tanya's accusation, but Rain subtly shook her head. It seemed Rain wanted a piece of Tanya for the problems she had caused. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me a bit proud to see her ready to pounce the bitch. "Look at them; it's almost like they're not competing for a place in your pants."

  "You know what, Tanya, screw you." I looked around to see if anyone was recording the altercation. I knew it was too much to hope no one heard it since both women were screeching now, but this really didn't need to go on YouTube. "Garrett is one of my oldest, dearest friends, and Colton is head over heels in love with me. I'm sorry you're a pretentious, bitter bitch who can't find anyone to love you, but that doesn't give you the right to rip me to shreds. You don't know shit about me; you don't know shit about my life. If you value your job, I highly suggest you back the fuck up and think about what you're doing. You have zero say in what I do in my personal life."

  "Sweetheart, you're delusional if you think anything you have is real. You're nothing more than eye candy out there, and I know for a fact that Colton isn't nearly as smitten as he claims to be. Just you watch, soon enough you'll understand what I'm saying, and you'll be the one on your ass wondering what all went wrong."

  Right as I lunged towards Tanya, ready to knock her on her ass, woman or not, I felt strong hands on both of my shoulders. I looked behind me to see that not one, but both of Rain's brothers that were here were hanging on for dear life, not willing to let me do something stupid.

  "Enough!" Jon roared. "Rain, go spend some time with the fam. Be back in an hour."

  "Look at her, Colton. I can't believe you're stupid enough to believe she's not sleeping with him. Just look at the two of them walking away from you," Tanya goaded. Garrett had quick enough reflexes to grab Rain's arm as she turned to take a swing at Tanya. While part of me wished he hadn't stopped her, I knew I needed to thank him for that later. Knowing Tanya, she would have filed assault charges, even though she had it coming.

  I firmly gripped Tanya's bicep and pulled her towards the bus. The look on Jon's face told me we were on the same page. This time, Tanya had gone too far. While it would suck, Jon and I were more than capable of keeping the band going until we could find a replacement.

  Jared and Travis sat on the couch trying to act as if they weren't listening to every word. I had a feeling that was more because Jared still felt like the outsider and the little punk was growing on Travis, so he stuck close so Jared wasn't left as odd man out. Also, Travis had never been great with confrontation, and this was bound to be an epic blow-up.

  "You're done," Jon growled, not giving Tanya the opportunity to say anything. "You've done nothing but cause problems for months now, and it's gotten to the point where your drama negates the good you've done for the group."

  "Jon, you know you don't mean that," Tanya purred. The bitch was delusional enough to think she could flirt her way off the unemployment line. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Colton will have a different opinion, won't you, sweetie?" Bile rose in my throat as she tried to rest her hand on my arm.

  I jerked my arm from her grasp and leaned over so I was inches away from her face. "You were a mistake. I've made a lot of them in my life, but I'm pretty sure you're right up there at the top."

  She gasped, and the crocodile tears started flowing. "You don't mean that," she pleaded, burying her face in her hands, no doubt to mask the fact that it's hard to keep the tears streaming when they're forced.

  "Yes, I do," I assured her. "You were a warm body when I thought I wanted to forget Rain. Nothing more. I tried to tell you that time and again, but your psychotic mind couldn't grasp that. If it had been my decision, you would have been gone the first time you caused the woman I love pain, but Jon kept you around, hoping you'd remember that you were hired to do a job."

  I walked away, the gravity of what I had done heavy on my chest. Now, more than ever, I feared Tanya would do something to retaliate against me and destroy the pieces Rain and I were attempting to glue back together.

  When Jon had Tanya escorted from the bus and off the grounds by security, I texted Rain to let her know everything was taken care of. We had wasted too much time with Tanya's bullshit, and we had a show to get ready for.

  After the show, Rain and I spent some quality time with her family. Even though we hadn't talked about where things stood between us,
the fact that she asked me to stay with her spoke volumes. I wasn't going to push anything this time; she needed to be the one setting the pace.

  Despite the fact that we knew fans and autograph seekers would hound us, we relented when Garrett and Mike wanted to head to the beer tent to catch a few smaller bands. It was a blast listening to acts that were where we had been not that long ago, just starting out, trying to carve their own niche in the industry.

  As the day wore on, Rain inched closer and closer to me until she was leaning against my chest. Even in the stifling humidity, there was no greater feeling than the heat of her body pressed against mine.

  All too soon, it was time for her brothers and Garrett to leave. Matt pulled me aside before getting into his car. "Take good care of her. She might seem tough, but she's our baby," he warned. "We'll be good unless you hurt her. Then, you're going to have a couple of pissed off brothers to deal with."

  I nodded, respecting him for looking out for her, regardless of the problems they'd had in recent years. "I'll do my best," I promised him.

  As soon as we were back on the bus, Jon called a band meeting to make sure everyone knew exactly what was going on with Tanya. Of course, Rain was the only one who hadn't heard the entire confrontation, but that didn't stop Jon from being the businessman of the group. He looked mildly irritated that Rain kept nodding off to sleep. Every time Jon brought up my name, my body tensed from the guilt I was carrying around. I couldn't help but wonder where we would be right now if I hadn't been the fuck-up of the group. Would Tanya have gone off the deep end if I had never agreed to sleep with her? Would she have caused problems for Rain? I pushed the thoughts out of my head, reminding myself there was no way to know the answers.

  I led Rain back to the bedroom after a few shots of Jagermeister, leaving the rest of the guys to their impromptu party. She was nearly asleep on her feet before we reached the bedroom, so I eased her onto the bed and removed her shoes. When I reached for the button on her shorts, she shied away from me.