by Sam Mariano
“I know that,” he says, searching my face for something. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
I push back from the table and stand. Griff’s gaze jumps to mine, concern in his blue eyes. He probably thinks he’s offended me. He pushes his chair back too, but before he can stand, I place a hand on his shoulder, step over his legs, and sit on his lap, straddling him. The concern is gone, replaced with surprise. He’s not sure how he just went from having possibly offended me to having me on his lap.
I smile at his confusion and wrap my arms around his neck, leaning in and giving him a kiss. “I told you before, Griff. You’re a wonderful man. You’re a sweetheart.” I lean in and kiss his neck. “You’re sexy as hell.” I kiss his neck again. “You have a big, beautiful cock and you know just how to use it.” Another kiss, but now I can feel his arousal straining against the fabric of his pants. “I could keep telling you all the wonderful things I like about you, if you want.” I let my hand slide not-so-innocently down his muscular torso and caress him through the fabric of his slacks. “Or I could just show you how much I like you. I can sink to my knees right here beneath the table, free your cock, and worship it with my mouth until you come down my throat.”
“Fuck, Moira.”
I nip at his earlobe. “Or you can come on my tits, if you want. Then we can shower together and wash it all off.” I drag my lips down his neck, then lean back and offer him a little smile. “Whatever you want, baby.”
Griff shakes his head, looking at me like he can’t quite believe me—still. “You are a filthy little angel, aren’t you?”
I grin at him. “I like that.”
“I like you,” he states.
I smile, leaning my forehead against his. “I like you, too.”
12
Griff
I know as soon as Ashley sits down across from me and her boobs practically spill out of her shirt that my lawyer was right—I should not be here.
Not because I’ll fall for her bullshit, obviously. But because this is going to be annoying, and it’s unlikely to go the way I hoped when I agreed to meet her.
My hope was that I could make her see that her stalling is pointless. When we fought, Ashley always knew she could wear me down. Obviously she thought she could get out of cheating on me just as easily. It’s not a thing I like about myself, but I have a weakness for beautiful women. Not like I can’t keep my shit together around any given beautiful woman, but when I give one the keys to my castle, I don’t like to take ‘em back. Doesn’t matter if they shit all over everything, doesn’t matter if they throw everything I invested in them back in my face. If they come crawling back, some sick shit inside of me tells me I should take it. Tells me it’s all I deserve—more than I deserve, really. I should be glad they even want to crawl back to me.
Right now, the sadistic side of my brain that spits out poisonous shit like that doesn’t have a leg to stand on, though. Because I have Moira, and Moira is everything I’ve always wanted. Everything Ashley could never be—that Ashley has no interest in being. I remember keenly the loneliness I felt last time I tried to hold Ashley. Whereas now, sitting here at this table, I can recall the warmth of Moira snuggled in my arms this morning, her soft lips moving tenderly along my jawline. What a way to wake up.
No, I’m not worried about getting sucked back in to Ashley’s shit; I just want her to go away, and frankly, if I can throw a little money at her and make that happen faster, I’d like to.
My lawyer told me I’m abso-fucking-lutely not allowed, though. Her words. She swears if Ashley smells money in the water, she’ll latch on and suck me dry.
The cut of her shirt tells me I probably should have listened to the lawyer. Ashley isn’t here to let me go; she’s here to try to draw me back in.
“It’s so good seeing you, Griff. You look so good,” Ashley tells me, reaching across the table and patting my arm. I draw my arm away as soon as her hand makes contact. Her mouth forms a little pout. “Don’t be like that. Please? I want us to have a nice lunch. I’ve missed you.”
I shoot her a look to let her know I’m not impressed. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” she asks, innocently. “Tell the truth? I really do, Griff. I miss you so much.”
“Please stop.” I look around for the waiter, partly because I’m embarrassed, partly because I want him to come take our order so we can get out of here faster.
“You have no idea how happy I was when you agreed to meet me.”
I stop looking for the waiter and turn my gaze on Ashley, meeting hers so she can see I’m serious when I tell her, “That is not why we’re here. This is not a reunion. I agreed to meet you because I wanted to tell you, face to face, to stop your bullshit.”
Her eyes dim and she sits back in her chair. She has the fucking nerve to look wounded. “My bullshit?”
“You’re stalling. You’re using every trick in the book to try to drag this shit out. It’s a waste of time and money, not to mention energy. You and I don’t have kids or intertwined family; there’s nothing to untangle. There’s no reason for this to be a whole thing. We had a relationship that didn’t work out. That’s it. Keep your rings, keep your clothes, keep all your fucking shoes and purses—just sign the goddamn papers and let me out of this godforsaken marriage.”
Ashley shakes her head, looking at me like my words disgust her. “You think this is about stuff? Fuck you, Griff. Fuck you for saying that.”
“Fine, fuck me. I don’t care anymore. Just sign the papers.”
“Stop saying that,” she snaps. “This isn’t a relationship that didn’t work out, it’s our marriage. We got married. We made promises to each other.”
I sit back, laughing a little at her gall. “Wow. Really? You want to talk to me about promises? You weren’t too worried about those promises when some other asshole was balls deep inside you in my fucking club, now, were you?”
Her eyes well up with practiced tears. “I made a mistake, Griff. A horrible, stupid, selfish mistake. I was feeling… I was just feeling so neglected. You hadn’t even touched me in weeks; you didn’t look at me like you wanted me. Then suddenly this stranger did, and it was stupid, I know that. It was cruel and the wrong thing to do. I should have resisted. I should have gone home and tried talking to you about how I was feeling.”
If she thinks that little speech is going to gain her sympathy, she’s sadly mistaken. “You always blame me, don’t you? You did the same shit after Seb’s wedding.”
Her eyes flash with anger. “That was your fault. You were mooning over Moira the whole fucking time. You watched him dance with her and then—” She holds a hand up, as if to stop herself. “This isn’t productive. This isn’t what I want. It’s not about blame. It doesn’t matter who was at fault. We don’t have to dredge up the past. It doesn’t have to matter, that’s what I’m saying. We’ve both made mistakes. Let’s start fresh.”
“You’ve made mistakes,” I state. “You. Not me. I never fucked anyone else. That was only you. Even when I was miserable, I kept my fucking dick in my pants.”
“But you didn’t tell me you were miserable! I didn’t know.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “You couldn’t tell?”
Ashley sighs. “I’m not a mind reader, Griff. Sometimes marriages get hard.”
I shake my head. “That is not what happened between us. That’s not what it was. We were not two people in a good marriage who went through a rough patch. I wanted to believe that too, but it wasn’t true. It was bullshit, Ashley, just like our relationship. I never should have married you in the first place and I think you know that. We moved too fast, we made a mistake. That doesn’t mean we should be miserable for the rest of our lives.”
“I think it’s a little much to say I made you miserable,” she informs me.
“Yeah, well, you weren’t in the room when my best friend with his fucking fantasy marriage had to tell me he saw my wife fucking someone else. Maybe then you’d have a different persp
ective.”
Ashley points at me, like I just proved her point. “That right there is the problem, Griff. You always compared our marriage to theirs. Always.”
I stare at the glass of water in front of me, at the condensation on the outside of the glass. We haven’t even touched our water. The waiter hasn’t even approached yet and I’m already so fucking annoyed that I want to crawl out of my skin.
“You know what? Their marriage isn’t as perfect as you think it is. They’re full of shit, Griff, that’s what they are. No one is that happy all the time. No couple still looks at each other like that after being married for years.”
“You’re wrong,” I state. “Just because we didn’t doesn’t mean no one does. They take care of their marriage. They go out of their way to make one another happy. They’re happier than we were because they’re good together, because they care enough to take care of their relationship. We never did. That should tell us something.”
“That we didn’t try hard enough,” she states, following the same logic, but coming up with a much different result.
“Maybe,” I say, shrugging. “But it doesn’t matter now. You’ve done things I can’t get past and I’ve already moved on. All I need is your ink on the paper and we’re history. We don’t have a marriage anymore, Ashley. We don’t have a relationship. If you wanted to work on things, if you wanted to start taking care of our relationship, you came to that conclusion too late. Literally anytime before you fucked some other asshole wouldn’t have been too late, but now? Your window hasn’t just slammed shut, I took a wrecking ball to the whole fucking wall—the window doesn’t even exist anymore. I have no romantic feelings left for you, Ashley. None.”
She pales a bit. For once, she’s unable to come up with anything to say.
“I’m sorry if that sounds harsh,” I add, to soften the blow. “Honestly, I don’t even have any resentment about it at this point, I just want it over. I don’t want to play games. I don’t want to fuck around with lawyers. I just want this marriage ended legally, since as far as I’m concerned, it’s over in every other way.”
“Are you seeing someone?” she demands, eyes narrowed with suspicion.
My eyes widen and I stare at her. “That’s what you took away from what I just said?”
“Yes,” she says, digging in. “This isn’t like you. You don’t give up on people like this. You’re not the guy who walks away. I call bullshit. You said you’ve already moved on. Who is she?”
I shake my head, staring at the table. “You are fucking unbelievable. Forget it. Forget this.” I push my chair back and stand.
“What are you doing?” she demands, her voice rising. “We haven’t even ordered.”
“We’re not going to. I thought I could do this, but I was wrong. I’m done here. If you have anything else to say to me, say it through your lawyer.”
Ashley stands and grabs my arm to try to keep me from leaving. “Griff, come on. Please.” When I don’t stop, she follows after me. I shake her arm off, but she just grabs my shoulder. “Stop. Dammit, stop and talk to me.”
I pry her hand off me and head for the door.
“Griffin!”
I ignore her and head out the door. We only ordered waters so there’s no bill, just an annoyed waiter. Probably should’ve left a tip. Oh well, too late to go back now.
By the time I get to my car, I’m so fucking agitated I can’t think straight. I need to calm down and all I can think about is Moira. I check my watch. I’m not even sure if Seb’s home or not. If he is, I probably shouldn’t show up. I’ll be by later for dinner, as it is.
When I start the car, though, it practically drives there without me. Relief pours through me when I pull in and Seb’s car isn’t there.
I go to the door and bang on it, then remember there’s a doorbell. Before I have to ring it though, I see the shape of Moira coming toward the frosted glass window.
She smiles as she opens the door to greet me. “Hey, what are you doing here in the middle of the day?” Her expression turns teasing. “You want lunch again, don’t you?”
She’s so fucking pretty. She’s standing there in this soft white sweater with a tight black skirt, mauve flowers printed all over it. Her hair is pulled back like the night I took her out, with dark strands hanging down around her ears and neck. Her blue eyes sparkle with warmth at the sight of me, like she’s happy to see me.
I swoop forward and cradle her face in my hand, drawing her in for an unexpected kiss.
“Oh,” she murmurs, before our lips touch. Her right arm drifts to my side and she tugs me close, her left arm going around my neck. I walk her backward, kicking the door shut behind me. I don’t let go, don’t break away from her lips, until I have her backed up against a wall. I finally have to let her go because I’m wearing all these bulky fucking clothes. I yank off my coat and toss it in the floor behind me, but I need to touch her again, so I advance on her, grabbing her and pulling her in for another kiss.
She kisses me back, but there’s a little more hesitance this time. She breaks away and searches my face. “Griff, is everything okay?”
I nod my head before burying my face in her neck. I leave a trail of kisses, then when I get near her ear, I murmur, “I need you.”
Moira melts against me, pulling back to look in my eyes. Hers have a tender gleam in them now, but there’s something vulnerable there, too. I don’t have time to think about it, then she’s running her fingers through my hair and yanking me back in for a hard kiss. One hand drops to my belt so she can unbuckle it. I grab her delicate-looking shirt and yank it off. She’s wearing a white bra today.
“Can we go upstairs?” she asks.
My raging hard-on says no, I need to pin her to this wall and fuck her right here, but I manage a nod anyhow.
Moira takes my hand and hauls me up the stairs, leaving our discarded clothing in the entry way. By the time we get to the bedroom, I toss my belt and shuck my pants. She reaches behind her and unzips her pretty skirt, pushing it down and revealing a pair of white panties with delicate little roses on them. She looks so fucking pretty. I just want to freeze this mental image of her and keep it forever.
She looks down, then back up at me, my little sex kitten acting all innocent. “See anything you like?”
I keep my eyes on her as I stalk closer. “I see everything I like,” I tell her, honestly.
She flushes with pleasure, her gaze dropping to my groin. I’m completely naked while she still has her bra and panties on. We need to fix that.
“On the bed,” I tell her.
She eagerly obeys and I follow, yanking off her delicate panties and tossing them on the floor. I want her so much, I’m tempted to leave the bra on, but the idea of not seeing her bare breasts gives me enough patience to reach behind her and unhook it. I take just enough time to peel it off before burying myself inside her.
It’s after we’ve both finished that I get what I need, though. The sight of her excites me and I wanted to fuck her until she came as hard for me as she does for Seb, but she’s so affectionate afterward, lying in my embrace, fitted snugly against my chest with her head resting on my bicep. This is what I craved when I was driving over here. Her fingertip traces little shapes on my chest. Her leg is hooked over my thigh to keep me close. Her hair’s a fucking mess.
“What are you smirking at?” she asks, poking me in the chest.
“I fucked up your hair,” I tell her.
“Worth it,” she assures me with a playful wink. When I don’t say anything back, she lets the moment pass, but keeps her watchful blue eyes on me. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong? It seemed like something had you upset.”
I really don’t want to bring up my not-quite ex-wife, especially right now, but I don’t want to lie to her, either. “I had to meet with Ashley today. Well, I didn’t have to. My lawyer actually told me not to. But she’s still pulling all kinds of shit to try to stall the divorce and I thought maybe if I talked to her face
to face she’d stop it.”
The corner of Moira’s mouth tugs up with little humor. “Didn’t go as planned?”
I shake my head, tracing the curve of her shoulder. “Not quite.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right. It’ll get done, I just… I just wish it wasn’t taking so long. I want that part of my life over. I want that mistake filed away and dealt with.”
Moira nods her understanding. “What did she say that upset you so much?”
“I wasn’t upset,” I say, defensively. “I was annoyed.”
“Fine,” she says, easily. “That annoyed you so much, then.”
“Just bullshit. How she’s sorry for what she did—still blames me, though, of course—and it was a mistake. How she wants to start fresh. Just a bunch of shit to try to buy fucking time so she can talk me out of it.”
I hate everything Ashley said today—especially the nice stuff. She makes me feel like an asshole for not wanting to try, but I did want to try. I did try. I tried for years with that woman, and all it got me was cheated on and made a fucking fool of.
I’m lost in my own thoughts so it takes me a minute to realize Moira has gone silent. I wouldn’t be too worried about it, except her brow is furrowed, her finger has stopped tracing shapes on my skin, and she’s staring vacantly at the wall of my chest in front of her.
“What’s going on up there?” I ask, lightly tapping her temple.
She looks regretful, but she attempts a smile. “I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
Her big eyes meet mine. “Is there any part of you that wants to?”
I can’t believe she’d even ask that after I fled Ashley’s presence to come see her. A little doubt in my mind whispers that she’s thinking about that because she wants it to be true. After all, if this was just some fantasy I had to fuck Seb’s untouchable wife, I’ve more than sated it. I’ve fucked her myself, fucked her with him—I’ve fucked every hole, fucked her a dozen times now. If I only needed to get her out of my system, if I only needed to possess her because she was some ideal to me, I’ve already done that.