by Sam Mariano
If that’s all it is, maybe I could go back to my unfaithful wife with my pride avenged, having fucked my dream girl every which way. Maybe when memories of Ashley’s infidelity crossed my mind, memories of Moira desperately gripping Seb’s bed sheets and coming for me would be enough to soothe me. Maybe now I could get on with my life, be with someone without constantly comparing them to Moira, our relationship to hers.
Is that what Moira hopes? Is she waiting for me to get her out of my system so she can have her life back? Is she just trying to fuck me until I get bored with her?
“Do you like being with both of us better than just being with Seb?” I ask her.
Moira frowns, since that’s not an answer to the question she just asked at all. “In some ways, yes. I don’t like to compare, though. You’re evading my question.”
“I’m not evading your question,” I deny.
“It’s okay if you do,” she assures me. “I think that would be natural, to have doubts. Especially after seeing her today. You were married to her for years, and you haven’t seen her in person recently. Is that what happened? You can tell me, I won’t be offended.”
“I don’t want to be with Ashley,” I snap.
Moira’s eyes widen, surprised at the sharpness of my tone. “Okay,” she says. “I was just asking. For the record, I don’t think you should either. I was just trying to be an unbiased ear in case you needed one.”
“I don’t want you to be unbiased, Moira. We’re sleeping together, for fuck’s sake. We’re in a relationship—maybe a weird one, but a fucking relationship, nonetheless. You should definitely have a preference in this scenario.”
She can see that I’m getting agitated, so she curls closer and runs her fingers tenderly through my hair, her features softening. It’s exactly the right thing to do. I can’t attack her if she’s being soft; I’ll feel like a fucking monster.
Ashley always rose to the occasion. The more agitated I got, the more agitated she got until we combusted.
Moira leans in and kisses her way along my jawline. “I do, Griff. My preference is your happiness. If that’s with me and Sebastian, wonderful. If it isn’t, I would never guide you away from it just because I want you. That wouldn’t be fair. I would understand if you wanted a person all to yourself. I wouldn’t like it,” she adds, holding my gaze. “But I would get it. That’s a natural thing to want.”
“I don’t, though. I want you.”
She smiles softly. “You have me.”
I probably shouldn’t tell her this, but it spills out of my mouth anyhow. “I can’t help feeling like you’re gonna slip away from me. Like Seb’s gonna take you back.”
“He won’t,” she assures me. “I love having both of you. He loves sharing me with you. We are all happy, Griff. Stop looking for reasons not to be.”
“I’m afraid of losing you, Moira. I can’t help it.”
She sighs, her blue eyes clouding over. I can see that she’s not sure how to reassure me, and to be honest, I’m not sure either. I don’t think she can. I think it’s something that’ll only go away in time.
I hope it goes away in time.
“You’re not going to lose me, Griff,” she promises, grabbing my hand and twining our fingers together. “We’re in this thing now. All three of us.”
That doesn’t make me feel any better. Maybe it should.
Moira’s tone softens, and I get the feeling she’s unsure about what she’s going to say. “I think maybe with your personal history, with your childhood and the fact that you’ve sort of been abandoned before, maybe that’s why you worry about this. I’m glad we’re talking about it, but I’m not sure you feel this way for any external reason. I don’t think we’ve given you any reason to worry about this. Sebastian is clearly trying to give you what you need. I certainly am. I’m sorry you can’t trust it yet. You should know by now that I’m reliable. It’s one of the things Sebastian loves about me. I’m no quitter. He’s not always easy, either. He has some rough edges and personal issues, too.”
Yeah, maybe he does, but he’d never bleed them all over her this way. Seb likes to come off strong at all times, and this shit here… this is not that.
I’m gonna scare her off with my irrational bullshit. It won’t even be Seb’s fault, it’ll be mine.
“Maybe it’s just because all of this is new,” she suggests. “Maybe you just need some time to get used to it. Then you’ll feel stable.”
“Maybe,” I murmur.
Moira brings her other hand up and clasps both of them around mine. “I’m yours, Griff. You wanted me and you got me. Stop waiting for the sky to fall. It’s not going to. Let yourself enjoy this—not because it’s going anywhere, but because that’s a nice way to live life. Don’t worry about it so much, okay? There’s nothing to worry about.”
I nod, but I’m not completely convinced.
She must be able to see that. Her expression drifts toward the contemplative and she says, “You need to spend some time with Sebastian. He’ll straighten you out.”
At that, I have to smile. “That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it?”
She smiles, like I’ve caught her. “Hey, if I’m stumped, I turn to him. You two made it through life together for years without me, so he must have figured out some way to convince you he wasn’t going anywhere.”
I’m just about to respond when we’re interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. I frown and Moira’s eyes widen.
“Are you expecting someone?” I ask her.
Now she’s frowning, yanking back the blanket and climbing out of bed. “No.”
I gather up my clothes and get them back on before she can. She’s flustered, running around looking for her shirt.
“It’s downstairs,” I remind her, putting a reassuring hand at the small of her back.
She looks up at me just as the doorbell rings again.
“Dammit,” she mutters, raking her fingers through her hair. “Where’s my clip?” She asks, but then before I can even answer, she makes her way out of the bedroom.
I go over and grab the clip I tossed—I should probably be more careful about throwing all her shit when I’m undressing her—then follow her downstairs. When I get down there, she’s tugging her shirt down. She may have clothes on, but her hair is still all mussed, her clothing askew—far from the composed appearance she had when I got here.
She slides her hands down her hips one more hopeless time as she approaches the door. She knows she’s still not put together, but she opens the door anyhow.
My coat is still in a heap on the floor, so I pick it up and hang it on the coat tree before walking over to see who is at the door.
13
Moira
I have no idea what to say or do as I stand in the open front door. I know I look just like what I am—someone who had afternoon sex, then had to sloppily pull on clothes and run downstairs to open the door.
“Oh, hi,” I say a bit haltingly.
My sister Gwen looks back at me, eyebrows rising. She bites back a smirk, looking away from me to the baby girl she’s lightly bouncing on her hip. “I take it Sebastian came home for lunch today.”
Before I can summon a single word, Griff must come into view behind me because Gwen’s gaze catches and then her face loses color. All amusement has fled and her gaze jumps back to me.
I hold up a steady hand, as if that can stop her from jumping to conclusions. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”
She mouths ‘holy fucking shit,’ shaking her head and refusing to look at me. “I can’t even… Are you nuts?”
“Come inside,” I tell her, taking a step back. “It’s cold out.”
She looks past me at Griff to give him a dirty look, but she steps inside anyway. As soon as I shut the door behind her, I turn around to explain, but I’m not entirely sure how. Sebastian said he didn’t want people to know about this until Griff’s divorce was official, but Gwen isn’t really people, she’s my sister. Bes
ides, given what she just walked in on, it’s either explain, or it looks like I’m cheating on Sebastian.
“Okay,” I say, glancing from Griff to Gwen. “Um, Griff, this is my sister Gwen. Remember I told you about her?”
Gwen gapes at me and ignores Griff. “You told him about me? What the hell is going on here? What happened to Sebastian?”
“Nothing,” I tell her. “This is Sebastian’s best friend, Griff.”
Her eyes widen. “His best friend? Seriously?”
Griff smirks to himself, raking a hand through his hair. “The pleasure’s all mine,” he remarks, dryly.
“You’re damn right it is,” she snaps. “I would tell you she’s married, but you clearly already know that, you son of a bitch. You’re both horrible.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say. “Gwen, relax. We’re not having an affair.”
Gwen rolls her eyes. “Oh, sure. You guys were just moving furniture, right?”
“No, we were doing what you think we were doing,” I say vaguely, glancing at the baby. She can’t talk yet so it’s not like she can repeat anything, but I still can’t say sex in front of a baby. “But it’s not an affair. Sebastian and I are still together, nothing happened. We’ve just… started doing something different. I’m seeing Griff, too. Sebastian knows. It was his idea.”
Now her face goes blank. “What?”
“It’s hard to explain,” I tell her. “The gist of it is, everything is above board. There’s no reason to hate us. No one is getting hurt.”
Now Gwen looks back at Griff, but with less hostility and more curiosity. Now that she doesn’t want to kill him for being a cheating bastard, I’m sure she’s a little more impressed by the sexy, muscular, well-dressed man before her. Even if he is a little mussed, he’s more put together than I am.
“We can start over,” he offers, along with his hand. “Griffin Halliwell, Sebastian’s best friend and business partner. Please don’t vandalize my car.”
“Not gonna shake your hand since you were just feeling up my sister, but pending Sebastian’s confirmation on all this, I will not vandalize your car.” Her gaze swings back to me. “Also, you told him about that? How long has this been going on? How could you not tell me? How is Sebastian okay with this? I am so confused.”
I nod my head sympathetically. “It’s a lot to take in. Come sit down, I’ll make some tea or hot cocoa. I haven’t even had a chance to say hello to my adorable niece.”
“I was going to ask if you could watch her while I run a few errands, but I didn’t expect you to have naked company.”
“He’s fully dressed,” I say, dismissively.
“Wasn’t ten minutes ago,” Griff remarks.
I bite back a smile and Gwen points toward the bathroom. “Please go wash your giant hands. All I can think about is them all over my sister.”
I nod my agreement. “And you need to meet Layla.”
Griff shakes his head but goes to wash his hands anyway. Gwen grabs my arm and widens her eyes at me. “I’m going to need explicit details about all this. I’m one part horrified and one part… I’m not sure. You get two hot guys? Where’s mine?”
“You’re married,” I remind her.
“So are you! To a dreamboat! And you get a bonus hunk. That’s not fair. Our husbands need to talk. Sebastian needs to sell Carl on the value of having a second man around the house—particularly one that looks like that. Does he live here? Do you guys just have a giant love nest?” Her eyes widen and she gasps in sudden realization. “Oh, my God. Do he and Sebastian…?”
I shake my head. “No. I mean, sometimes they take me at the same time, but they don’t do anything to one another.”
“At the same time?” she echoes, like I’ve just given voice to a sacred, unspoken legend.
“We’ll talk later,” I assure her.
“How does that even work?”
“Really, really well,” I tell her.
Gwen and I migrate to the kitchen. I wash my hands at the sink to set my germophobe sister’s mind at ease, then I set about making everyone some tea. I’m not sure tea is an adequate beverage to go alongside today’s news, but I need to do something to busy myself.
While the water is boiling, I text Sebastian to let him know that while I tried to keep it quiet, Gwen knows about our arrangement. He tells me I need to swear her to secrecy, at least until Griff’s divorce goes through. Gwen doesn’t run in the same circles, so it shouldn’t be an issue. She and her husband are comfortably lower middle class, so they don’t even know most of our snobbier friends.
“Listen, I didn’t tell you about Griff because we’re not really advertising it at this point. Griff is going through a divorce and his ex is being difficult. If she catches wind of all this, she’ll try to use it to hurt him, so you can’t say anything to anyone.”
Her eyes go wide again. “He’s married? What kind of cul-de-sac cliché are you living in here, Moira?”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that. She cheated on him, he left her. They were separated before any of this started. But they had a prenup, which means she’s not getting anything from the divorce. Instead of admitting defeat, she’s dragging it out.”
“She sounds like a real prize,” Gwen remarks. “So, you’re his rebound? Would it be weird if I set him up with my friend after you’re done with him? She just went through a drawn-out divorce herself, and she’s finally ready to start dating again. She’s got a cute kid. Does Griffin like kids?”
I turn back to frown at her. “He’s not up for grabs. Why do people keep trying to auction him off like a coveted piece at an estate sale? Jesus.”
“Because he’s hot?” she suggests.
Of course that’s when Griff walks back in. “Thanks,” he remarks, dryly.
“Do you like kids?” Gwen asks, turning to look at him.
Since he clearly thinks she’s referring to hers, he steps closer and looks down at Layla. “Sure, I do. Hey, little lady.”
Layla smiles up at him. He starts to reach a finger out to her tiny hand, but he stops and looks to Gwen for approval. She grabs his hand, dramatically inspects it, then reaches into her purse for a bottle of hand sanitizer.
“Really?” he asks.
“Just to be safe,” she states.
“I’m not diseased,” I tell her, moving closer so I can smile at baby Layla. “Hello, beautiful.”
Layla glances at me, but then she looks back up at Griff. He’s properly sanitized now, so it’s okay when Layla wraps her tiny hand around his finger and tugs it close. I’m hit with a brick wall of maternal warmth and I can’t help drawing closer to him, leaning my head on his big, strong arm.
“Still feeling that baby fever?” he asks, lightly.
“Oh yeah,” I tell him, nodding vehemently. “Reaching brain-boiling temperatures over here.”
Gwen glances between us uncertainly. “Oh, dear. When does Sebastian get home? Maybe I should have you babysit later. I don’t want to give you baby fever when your husband isn’t here and your man candy is.”
“I think he has to go back to work anyway,” I tell her. “It’ll just be me.”
“How about this instead? Mr. Beef Cake here leaves you with all your eggs unfertilized, I stay here and you explain to me how all this works, and I’ll run errands some other time?”
“God, Gwen, you can’t just talk about the fertilization of my eggs in mixed company,” I tell her.
“She also called me a beef cake,” Griff states.
Gwen holds a hand up toward the ceiling and bows her head. “I’m doing God’s work here. I will not be leaving you two unchaperoned. My brother-in-law will approve and he buys really good Christmas gifts.”
I quirk an unimpressed eyebrow. “I pick out your Christmas gifts.”
“And pay with his money,” she states.
I roll my eyes. “Our money.”
“You have a prenup, too,” she reminds me.
“We’re business partners,” Gri
ff states. “I can fund the same Christmas gifts he can. You’re allowed to like me.”
Gwen leaps to conclusions at his wording. “See? Mr. Beef Cake wants to replace your husband. I’m staying until Seb gets back. Just try to get me out of here.”
Griff shakes his head. “All right, I need to get back to work anyhow.” I lean away from his arm as he moves, so he rests a hand on my hip and attempts to get his finger away from Layla. She doesn’t let go. “Can I have this?” he asks her.
She blinks at him and keeps his finger in a death grip.
Gwen untangles her baby’s fingers, telling Layla, “We like Uncle Sebastian, you let go of that giant finger.”
14
Sebastian
As soon as I walk through the front door, I see Moira pacing, looking down at a tiny bundle of blankets in her arms. Since Moira did not have a baby when I left for work this morning, I look around for its mother.
My sister-in-law is sitting on the couch, popping grapes into her mouth and watching television. Her gaze brightens when she sees me. “The boss is home,” she announces.
I smile faintly. I like Gwen. A little loud for my tastes, but she knows who’s in charge. “Hello, Gwen. Are you staying for dinner?”
“I was staying for the free babysitting,” she announces. “I adore Layla. Motherhood is beautiful and fulfilling and wonderful, but you know what no one tells you?”
“What’s that?” I ask, though I’m not even mildly interested.
“It’s exhausting and you don’t get a break. Ever. One might think that since I have a husband, I might get a break, but one would be wrong.” She lifts her eyebrows. “Side note, do you rent Griff out? And if you do, can you talk to Carl and convince him that letting his wife have a hot boyfriend who helps around the house is a good idea?”