Guarding the Broken: (Nothing Left to Lose, Part 1) (Guarded Hearts)

by Kirsty Moseley

  “I’m hoping.” I smiled and couldn’t help but laugh; if she knew I was serious, she’d freak the hell out! Knowing I needed to change the subject before she saw though my playful joke that wasn’t actually a joke, I nodded at her sketchpad. “What you drawing?”

  She smiled and turned it around so I could see. On the page was a perfectly drawn portrait of Nate and me sitting on the sofa in my apartment.

  “That’s incredible.” What she could do with a piece of paper and a pencil amazed me.

  “Thanks,” she nudged my shoulder with hers. “So, that girls’ night…” she trailed off, looking at me hopefully.

  I suppressed my groan and forced a smile. I had agreed to it after all, so there was no backing out now. “Yeah, whenever you want.”

  She beamed at me and her whole face seemed to light up. “I’ll talk to them about it tomorrow then, maybe we’ll arrange it for Friday night?” she suggested, watching my face.

  I nodded and looked away so she didn’t see that panic that was starting to burn inside me at the thought of leaving her alone. Technically, I wasn’t allowed to leave her alone if there was someone else with her, but I would be right next door. I could maybe have a background check done on them before they came, just to make sure nothing flagged up. Today was only Sunday, so I had a few days to get some searches run before Friday. I’d definitely keep that secret though, she’d probably kill me if she knew I was screening her friends.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  ~ Anna ~

  As I slowly started to wake up on Saturday morning, I realised my head was pounding. I groaned and put my hands up to my head, squeezing my temples, trying to get the pain to subside. The previous night had been girls’ night, and I had certainly made the most of it. Though my head was now telling me that there had been way too much giggling, pizza, popcorn and vodka.

  “Suffering?”

  I groaned again because of the loud voice that was almost gloating near my ears. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, nodding. He laughed and my ears instantly rang. “Shh!” I mumbled, rolling onto my front, pressing the pillow over my head. “Ugh, don’t let me drink ever again!” I moaned.

  He laughed, and the mattress dipped next to me. “Here, I brought these in for you, I thought you’d be a little delicate this morning,” he whispered, sounding amused. I lifted the pillow off my head to see him sitting up, fully dressed, holding out a glass of water and two pills.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled gratefully, pushing myself up and swallowing them quickly. Looking down at myself, I saw that I was still wearing my shirt that I had on last night. My jeans were in a pile on the floor though. I didn’t even remember coming to bed, but clearly I’d been too intoxicated for pyjamas.

  Ashton smiled widely. “Come on then, get up and get dressed, I’m taking you out for breakfast to make you feel better.”

  I looked him over while he spoke. He looked super sexy today. He had on a pair of light blue ripped jeans and a white T-shirt with a black hoodie over the top. I swallowed my wave of desire quickly. It had been almost a week since we’d been back from LA, and keeping things on a purely friends’ level had been a struggle. Now that I knew how good being with him could be, I couldn’t help but wish for it to happen again and again, but we were managing to move past it and behave in a respectable manner.

  “You look nice today,” I muttered, lying back down and throwing my arm over my eyes to keep out the light.

  He laughed and lay down next to me. “Are you still drunk? I thought you would have cut out the flirting now that you aren’t stumbling all over the place,” he teased, moving my arm and smirking at me.

  I shook my head. “Was I drunken flirting with you again?” I asked, smiling apologetically.

  “Oh yeah, Baby Girl. After I carried you to bed, you begged me to fuck your brains out, you cursed angrily because my belt buckle wouldn’t unfasten and, therefore, must have been made by ugly goblins that didn’t agree with sex, and then in the end you made me go to sleep right on top of you when I turned you down,” he said, chuckling.

  I smiled sheepishly, feeling a blush creep up my face and neck. “Sorry. I guess I forget myself when I’m drunk.”

  He grinned and nodded in agreement. “Don’t worry though, I was a perfect gentleman. I didn’t even let you blow me like you were begging.”

  I squealed and threw my hands over my face. “Oh God, stop. There’s a reason that people don’t remember these things in the morning, you’re not supposed to remind me! The alcohol induced memory loss is a form of protection from all the stupid things you did the night before.”

  He chuckled wickedly. “Alright, fine. I won’t say another word.” He sat up. “Can we go eat? I’m starving.”

  I sat up and winced as the movement made my head a little fuzzy. “You’re always starving,” I teased. He grinned and leant in, planting a soft kiss on my forehead before standing up and leaving the room.

  Forgoing the shower because I didn’t have the energy, I dressed and then put on a large pair of shades to keep the brightness of the day out of my eyes.

  “Hey, you ready?” he chirped as I walked out of the bedroom. I nodded, picking up my purse. “I’m in the mood for bacon, what about you?” he asked, taking my hand and interlacing our fingers.

  I shrugged. “Anything, as long as it’s greasy and bad for me.”

  In the local café that was a five minute drive away from our apartment, I ordered a huge plate of bacon and eggs, and surprisingly, it did make me feel better. Or maybe that was the two espressos that I had to accompany it.

  “So, about our date tonight, I know where I want to go. Make sure you dress casual and warm, and no heels,” Ashton instructed, grinning as we waited for the waitress to bring his change. I frowned. Our date night was usually on a Friday, but because I’d had my girls’ night, we’d shifted our date to tonight instead.

  I cocked my head to the side. “Where are we going?”

  He shook his head, smiling teasingly. “Surprise.”

  “Oh come on, tell me, please?” I whined. I hated surprises, and he knew it.

  “Nope,” he answered, popping the p. The bell above the door rang, signalling someone either coming in or leaving the café. His eyes flicked to the door and his body stiffened. I glanced over my shoulder in time to see a group of five guys walking in. They were all loud and boisterous, like they were still drunk or high from the night before. “You ready to go?” he asked, still discreetly watching the group of guys as they started harassing a couple of women a couple of tables away. I nodded, standing up. Ashton’s hand wrapped around mine as he pulled me close to his back on the opposite side to the men than were laughing and jeering, pushing each other playfully.

  When we were about four feet from the door, one of them stepped in front of us and smiled. “Leaving so soon?”

  “Yeah, excuse us.” Ashton smiled politely, tightening his grip on my hand.

  “Well, maybe your lady would rather stay here,” the guy suggested, smiling at me.

  I snorted in disbelief. “No thanks.”

  Ashton shifted on the balls of his feet. “Seriously, bud, excuse us before you get yourself hurt,” he growled. The guy laughed but stepped out of the way, waving us through. As soon as we walked past him, he grabbed my hand, yanking me backwards. My instincts took over and I turned, throwing my knee up into his groin. He groaned in pain and Ashton shoved me towards the door as one of the other guys stepped forward.

  “Son of a bitch!” he ranted.

  “Leave with Dean!” Ashton growled, pushing me towards the door again.

  “What? No!” I cried, horrified. There was no way I was leaving him here with five guys.

  “NOW, ANNA!” he ordered.

  I flinched at the authority in his voice and quickly turned for the door. As soon as I was outside, I ran to Dean, who was about a hundred years away, leaning casually against the wall. “There’s a fight. Go help him!” I shouted, pointing frantically at the caf
é. I felt sick with worry. He was going to get hurt, I just knew it. My heart was pounding out of my chest.

  Dean’s eyes widened as he looked back at the café but didn’t move. Suddenly he shook his head. “No. I need to take you away.” His hand clamped around my elbow, starting to drag me forward.

  What the hell? He’s going to leave Ashton on his own? “Dean, what the hell are you doing? Ashton’s in there with five guys!” I screamed, trying desperately to shake off his hold.

  “Then I feel sorry for the five guys. My orders from him are to take you away if there’s trouble,” he replied simply.

  I didn’t want to hurt him, but if he carried on dragging me away then I was going to break his face. “For God’s sake! You can’t just leave him in there. Get the hell off me! Dean, will you stop? Ashton’s in there on his own, please go and help him!” I shouted, struggling to a stop.

  Another pair of hands gripped my hips, and I squealed from the shock. “Chill out, Baby Girl, I’m here,” Ashton said in my ear.

  My breath caught as my heart stuttered. I turned to face him and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “What happened? Are you okay?” I asked, gripping onto him for dear life, probably choking the life out of him.

  Instead of answering, his arms circled my waist and he lifted me off my feet. “Dean, let’s get her to your car,” he ordered. He moved one hand to my ass and forced my legs around his waist with the other as he started to jog in the direction of the car.

  “I can walk, Ashton,” I protested, unwrapping one of my legs, but he just hooked it back there again and continued to jog towards the parking lot where we’d left the cars.

  “I know you can, just humour me, okay?” he countered, gripping me tightly. My breathing started to slow, and my stomach unclenched now that he was here with me. When we got to Dean’s car, Ashton set me in the passenger seat and slammed the door, talking to Dean outside. I took the opportunity to look at every inch of his exposed skin, trying to see a red mark or blemish that indicated that he’d been injured, but there was nothing.

  Suddenly, he slapped Dean on the shoulder and turned on his heel, running off towards the café again. I gasped and tried to open my door so I could follow him, but Dean pushed me back into the car and locked the door before running around to the driver’s side.

  “What’s going on? Where’s he going? Is he okay?” I shouted as he started the car, pulling out without even buckling his seatbelt.

  “He’s fine. Someone called the police, he needs to go and handle that. It’s best that you’re not there so he doesn’t have to explain the whole undercover thing,” he explained.

  I gasped, looking back over my shoulder, hating that we were driving away and leaving him. “Someone called the police? Well, what happened?” I cried, wiping my face, I didn’t even realise I was crying until I did that.

  Dean shrugged. “He took care of it.

  Took care of it? What the heck does that mean? There were five guys in there for goodness’ sake! “What? How?”

  Dean grinned and shook his head as if I’d said something silly. “Annabelle, he’s an excellent Agent. You shouldn’t worry about him.”

  I scowled at him. “I’d worry about you too, you know. I just don’t think you should have left him like that! He wouldn’t do that if that was you. He wouldn’t have left you!” I ranted angrily.

  He laughed loudly. “Annabelle, Ashton would kill me himself if it meant he could stop you from getting hurt. I have no doubt in my mind about that,” he replied, still laughing.

  I sighed angrily and looked out the window, not wanting to talk to him anymore. I hated the thought of Ashton just being left like that on his own. Anything could have happened to him, he could have been seriously hurt and that thought made my whole chest tighten with worry.

  When we arrived at our apartment, Dean walked me in, doing a quick survey of the rooms to check they were empty before he left to wait outside the door. I sat down on the sofa and put my head in my hands. The silence was deafening as I sat there watching the clock tick around slowly. My nerves were making me feel sick. I couldn’t seem to stop myself from crying silently as I imagined all of the horrible things that could have happened to Ashton today. I could barely breathe. Unconsciously, my hand went to the inside of my elbow, pinching and picking at the skin there as I tried to regain control of my emotions.

  Well over an hour later, the front door opened. I jumped up with my heart crashing in my chest. My trembling legs barely supported me as I rushed around the corner and looked up the hallway. When I saw his black head of hair, I dashed to him, jumping on him. I obviously caught him off guard because he staggered back under my weight and we both crashed into the door with a loud bang. My lips slammed against his as I kissed him fiercely. He seemed shocked but kissed me back after a second or two, wrapping his arms around me as we slumped to the floor in a heap of tangled limbs.

  “All I needed to do was get in a fight to have you throw yourself at me like this? I wish I’d known that two months ago,” he joked. My tears were flowing uncontrollably again as I kissed every square inch of his face before burying my face in his neck and sobbing in relief that he was unharmed and safe. Thoughts of losing him, of him leaving me just like Jack did made my heart ache so much that it was almost unbearable. I dug my fingers into his shoulders as I pressed myself to him tightly, completely lost in my overwhelming emotions. “Hey, come on, Baby Girl. Shh, everything’s okay,” he said as he stroked my hair soothingly.

  Suddenly anger boiled inside me as I realised that he’d made me feel like this. By not letting me stay and help him, he’d put me through this. It hadn’t needed to be like this, I hadn’t needed to feel this pain again.

  I pulled back and smacked his chest as hard as I could which resulted in making my hand sting. “Don’t ever do that to me again!” I shouted angrily. His mouth dropped open in shock as he looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “You stupid damn boy! Don’t you realise how worried I was about you? You couldn’t even wait long enough to tell me you were okay before running off?” I shouted, pushing myself off him as he opened and closed his mouth again, looking a little lost for words.

  “Anna, calm down,” he finally said, clambering to his feet. I scowled angrily. I was so mad that I didn’t even want to look at him. I turned and stormed off to the bedroom, but he followed me in there. “That’s my job,” he said sternly.

  “That’s your job?” I repeated incredulously. “Your job is to leave me fucking worried sick about you? You couldn’t have stayed there for one minute to show me you were okay? You couldn’t have just left the car door open while you talked to Dean so I could hear what was going on?” I almost screamed. I was so angry that I wanted to smash something.

  “Anna, calm down! My job is to get you as far away from trouble as possible,” he countered, reaching for my hand.

  I jerked it away from him before he could touch me, glaring at him. “There was no damn trouble! You carried me to the car like a fucking child!” I spat, wiping my traitor tears away angrily.

  He threw his hands up in exasperation. “What the hell do you want me to say? Do you want me to apologise for doing my job?” he asked desperately.

  I growled in frustration. “Oh, just go away, Ashton! Thank you for doing your job. Thank you for making sure I was safely away from trouble. Thank you for making me worry so damn hard about you that I felt sick. Thank you for thinking so little of me that it didn’t even occur to you that I would be worried about you. Just thank you, Agent Taylor!” I shouted almost hysterically. My breathing was shallow. A full blown panic attack was building up inside me as the feelings of being powerless, abandoned, and helpless resurfaced and started trying to drag me under. My hand flew to my elbow that was already red raw from what I’d inflicted on myself earlier. Using my nails, I pinched the skin there as hard as I could, feeling them cutting into my flesh, but not caring in the slightest.

  Ashton groaned and stepped forward,
wrapping his arms around me and crushing me against his chest. “Please calm down, Baby Girl,” he begged, gripping his hand into the back of my hair, holding my face against his neck securely. “I’m sorry. I should have stayed and showed you I was okay. I didn’t think about that. All I could think about was my need to have you safe and as far away from trouble as possible,” he whispered, rubbing my back soothingly. As if he knew what I was doing to myself, his hand closed over mine that was pinching my inner elbow and he pulled it away, guiding my arm around his waist instead. “Stop that,” he whispered. “I’m fine, I promise. Please just breathe properly and calm down.”

  “I hate you,” I mumbled against the skin of his neck.

  “No, you don’t,” he whispered, pressing his mouth into my hair.

  I sniffed and wrapped my arms around him tightly, letting his familiar smell fill my lungs. “I hate that I care about you,” I admitted, digging my fingers into his back and pressing myself closer to him.

  He laughed quietly. “I know.” He kissed my temple softly.

  I whimpered and clutched him tightly. “You’re really okay?” I asked, trying to regain control of myself.

  “Yeah, I promise. I’m so sorry, I didn’t think,” he whispered. His hands traced a circle on my back as my breathing started to slow. His arms wrapped around me, lifting me off my feet as he walked to the bed and sat down on the edge, pinning me on his lap and rocking me gently. When I pulled back to look at him, he smiled sadly and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “I hate myself for making you cry.”

  I sniffed loudly as I took hold of his chin, turning his head one way and then the other, checking for bruises. “You really didn’t get hurt?” I asked, finally satisfied as I pressed my forehead against his.

  “I didn’t get hurt.”

  I closed my eyes, and a little whimper left my lips. “Don’t ever do that to me again. I was so worried about you. I started thinking all these terrible things, and imagining you being hurt. I couldn’t stand to see anything happen to you, Ashton. Please, don’t do that to me again,” I begged quietly.