Love Is Mortal

by Caroline Hanson

  Thirty minutes later, the kitchen was put back to rights. Lucas had taken all of her broken dishes to the trash, and she had swept up all the shards of glass that littered the floor. Lucas came back in and leaned against the kitchen counter, his expression carefully neutral as he studied her.

  “What will you do now?” he asked her.

  Val grimaced, and busied herself by making them a pot of coffee. They still had three mugs, which was good. At least, she’d been sane enough not to break all of her coffee cups. Didn’t that mean there was hope for her not spending her life in the insane asylum?

  “I don’t know. I don’t have any plans for the day really. Some papers to grade, some plants I should put in the garden. What about you?”

  She glanced at him over her shoulder, and he jerked his gaze up to hers. If she didn’t know better she’d think he was looking at her ass. “I’m going to spend my day with you,” he said and looked away from her.

  “Oh,” she said faintly, and felt her stomach flip-flop. She wanted to spend her day in bed with him. She took a shaky breath and stepped closer to him. His brows rose in inquiry, and the muscles in his arms bunched as if he were suddenly filled with tension, but he didn’t move closer to her. She stopped in front of him, reaching out her hands and putting them on his forearms. She slid her palms along his skin, her fingers disappearing under the sleeves of his shirt as she touched his arms.

  He moved, his own hands settling on her shoulders and sliding down to her wrists. He tugged gently, indicating that he wanted her to let him go. Very subtly he shook his head no. “What do you want to do today?”

  Valerie was pretty sure she’d made it clear what she wanted to do today. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, and that she needed him to take her upstairs to prove how much he cared about her too. To block out the rest of the world, and lose herself in his touch and his taste, his smell and the sounds that he would make, the press of his body against hers.

  “In my time, when a man was serious about a woman, he courted her. Please let me do that,” he said, as if he were confiding a secret to her. “You have always been different. I have always wanted you, but what I never had was the chance to know you, not like Ja—” he cut himself off, “not like he did.”

  Valerie was confused, and her head started to pound. “He who?”

  He let go of her hands and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, as though he were trying to get his thoughts in order or unravel a complex mystery. “I apologize. This should not be so…difficult,” he said with irritation in his voice.

  She took a step back, feeling like a fool. “No, I get it. We can do something else. I could take you home if you want. Nobody said you have to go out with me.” Embarrassment washed over her. She couldn’t believe she was trying to hit on the hunk, and he wanted nothing to do with her. What sort of moron was she? The kitchen sink became blurry as tears filled her eyes.

  She heard him swear from behind her, and then she was suddenly in his arms, his mouth on hers as he kissed her hungrily. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he walked her backward a few steps and then lifted her, his strong hands around her waist, settling her on the counter. He pulled her closer, so that she could feel just how much he wanted her. As their bodies pressed together, he moaned. He kissed her jaw at the back of her neck, and then down the long column of her throat where he paused and then froze altogether. “You have a very beautiful neck,” he mumbled, his head on her shoulder as she tried to catch her breath.

  “Umm, thanks.”

  “I do not know that I’ve ever really looked at it.”

  “Oh. You’re a big…neck connoisseur, huh?” Val said, arms still around his neck, the ridge of his erection against her hot core. He kissed her neck again lightly, and she shivered.

  “I would hope never to hear myself described in such terms as being a neck connoisseur.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, it does make you sound like a bit of a pervert.”

  He kissed her collarbone and then the pulse on her neck. “I can assure you that I am utterly depraved.”

  “Not from the footage I’ve seen.”

  “You should be flattered that I do not want to take you upstairs and fuck you,” he said crudely.

  She pushed at his shoulders wanting him to give her space. She hadn’t thought about it like that, didn’t see it as something as dirty as he made it sound.

  He cupped her face with his hands, making her look at him. “I want you. You know exactly how much I want you,” he said, shifting closer so his erection brushed against her. She blushed in response, biting her lip a little nervously at his close scrutiny. “I have this chance to be with you, and see you as just a woman. I have spent a lot of time looking at you, but I have not really seen you.”

  “Are we back to the neck thing?” she asked, trying to make a joke.

  He scowled. “I am trying to declare my intentions to you, and tell you that I value you in a way that goes beyond a mere coupling. Please, let me have this chance to be with you like…like a gentleman. Like I would have treated you had we met long ago.”

  She thought she fell in love with him right then and there. “All right, but if I die of frustration it will be your own fault,” she said.

  He grinned at her. “Things will not get that desperate.” He pulled her off the counter and set her on her feet. “Now, tell me what we should do as a dating couple,” he said enthusiastically.

  Val poured him a cup of coffee, catching him in the act of adjusting himself as she turned back around. She wasn’t sure what the etiquette was for that. Should she ignore it? He took the coffee from her, and swooped in to give her a kiss on the lips. “I said it was a good idea, I didn’t say it was easy.”

  She tried to keep her mouth shut. But gave up. “You mean it’s hard?”

  He took a sip of his drink, frowning into the cup. “This is coffee?” he asked.

  “This is it. Welcome to the world of tomorrow.”

  “Hmm,” he said skeptically. She took a sip of her own coffee and almost choked when he said, “Yes, it’s going to be very, very hard.”

  Chapter 21

  VALERIE AND Lucas spent time doing ‘normal things’ as she thought of them. They went to a bookstore and browsed around, then went to lunch. They watched TV, curling up on the couch next to each other, Lucas’ arm around her shoulders making her feel safe and cherished. Their life here was wonderful, perfect.

  But, every once in a while though the question would come to her, like where was he sleeping at night? Or how come he never went to his house, but always stayed with her? But almost as quickly as she thought them, they slipped from her mind. She didn’t have any more episodes of thinking she was going insane, or of the Lucas-like figure who was being tortured in the dungeon. And that was a relief. Maybe he kept her sane.

  There were also times when being with him felt like déjà vu. Like when they went to the bookstore and talked about Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point. She’d instantly known that he’d already read it, and she wasn’t sure why she knew that. He’d never told her, had he?

  Lucas had watched her and waited, his expression and body language neutral, as if he were just there to observe her reactions. As if his goal in that moment was to say nothing of how he actually thought or felt.

  Her life was here. And his life was here with her. It had only taken hours of being with him before her mind had adjusted to his presence being here with her. They were together now, and they always would be; she thought.

  *****

  Lucas walked over to the sliding glass door that led into the backyard, wearing a pair of blue pajama bottoms and no shirt. It was the partial nudity that really tied the outfit together, Val thought. “It’s raining. What are you doing?” she asked. Her toes were cold, and she went to stand on the little rug next to him. He looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

  “What do you do with this space outside?” he asked.

 
She bit the inside of her lip, wanting to laugh. But it would be at him, and so she tried not to. Managed to make it just a smile. “You mean the backyard? That big puddle of water is called a swimming pool.”

  He frowned at her.

  “Well, what are you asking me then? It’s a backyard. It’s got grass and plants, cement even.”

  “Very edifying. But…is there someone who takes care of it? Do you have a gardener or someone who tends to it?” he asked, curiously.

  “Yeah. Her name is Valerie. You probably met her. Cute. Stacked.”

  He looked at her quizzically. “Sarcastic? Slightly abrasive?”

  “See? You have met her.” She chucked and said waspishly, “Abrasive. I’m not sharing my coffee with you now. And we are out of Coffeemate so it’s your loss.”

  He stood up straight. Turned to look at her, giving her his full attention, as though he were a king and she a lowly subject. He stared down into her coffee cup. “I like the Coffeemate. I do not understand what it is. But it is a modern miracle. You have to share.”

  “You think everything is a modern miracle,” Val said and took a drink.

  “I know miraculous things when I see them,” he said, looking down at her with an expression that made her think he was talking about her. It was cheesy, but her estrogeny-self liked it anyway. She let out a sigh.

  “Now tell me about the yard.”

  “What exactly do you want to know?”

  “Do you have a spring planting schedule?” he asked her seriously.

  Val adjusted her grip on the mug so it would warm her hands.

  “You have no fruit or vegetables. There are no trees for shade. It is…grass, a fence and a pool. It is out there like a mirage in the desert,” he said, pointing out to the yard. She could hear the disgust in his voice. “And I think the grass is too short. And the color…surely it should be greener,” he said, the statement half-question and half-accusation.

  “Maybe it should,” Val said and took another sip of coffee. His eyes narrowed as he watched her drink.

  “The yard is unacceptable. I have heard of a store that you will take me to.”

  This was gonna be good. “Is it Victoria’s Secret?”

  “Who?” he looked perplexed.

  “Nothing. I was amusing myself. Go on.”

  “It is called The Home Depot. We will go there and get things to fix the yard.” He turned away from her and looked outside. “We will need to buy a lawn mower,” he said the words slowly.

  “Okay. I’ll bite. How did you hear about The Home Depot?”

  “It was on the television. I also notice that there is no barbeque.”

  Valerie scowled. “I don’t know how to barbeque.”

  One eyebrow raised. It was a look so condescending that she took a big sip of the coffee. She was going to finish it, and he wouldn’t get a single drop.

  “I will barbeque. It will go over there.” He pointed to a corner of the yard that was filled with dirt chips.

  “I don’t know. I think you want to put it on cement, right?”

  He crossed his arms. “Put what on cement? That is not a good idea. It is very hard to break.”

  This was confusing. “Wait. What the hell is it you want to do with the barbeque?”

  He sighed in exasperation, as though she was the one who was confusing. “It is a pit. It goes into the ground. I see no need to take out the cement to do it when you have that open space—“

  “You want to put in a barbeque pit? What’s wrong with a normal barbeque that we can wheel around?”

  His head jerked back as if she’d slapped him. “What do you mean?”

  “Fine. I’ll take you to Home Depot, and you can ogle the manly stuff. And you can do whatever you want to with the barbeque. Let me take a shower first. And just to avoid any future conflicts, let it go on the record now that I don’t skin anything, and I don’t camp.”

  She drained the last of the coffee and shoved the mug towards him. He took it in his hands and looked at the empty bottom with a frown. “That is just rude.”

  “I’ll take you to Starbucks.”

  “Excuse me?” he said, and took a step after her, as though he hadn’t heard her. Or what she had said was obscene.

  “Oh, for crying out loud. What the heck was your life like before me? I can just imagine it now; you sitting around, in this bizarre isolation.”

  He blinked.

  “You know what it’s like? It’s like you’re an alien or something. A really yummy alien, but still,” Val said, heading towards the stairs.

  “Or perhaps a vampire,” he suggested.

  Val paused on the third step and looked back at him with a frown. “Now that’s just ridiculous.”

  Chapter 22

  VAL WONDERED if there was any way to get him to reconsider his no-sex-request. Because it was a request, right? A guideline, rather than an unbreakable rule. Maybe if she hit him over the head and dragged him up the stairs like a cavewoman would, he would sleep with her. Or maybe if he came inside, and she took off her clothes and attacked him; she could make it happen before he could protest.

  “It is as though I can hear you thinking,” he said.

  “Oh yeah? Are you blushing?”

  He sighed heavily.

  “I’m just saying, life is short, and who knows what could happen tomorrow, you know?”

  He didn’t say anything. She pulled into her driveway and turned the car off. It didn’t occur to her that he might want to go home, or have anywhere else to go. She just assumed that he was coming with her. They got to the front door, Lucas trailing behind her slowly as she went in and turned on the lights.

  “You do understand that my restraint is a sign of my respect for you.”

  “You can respect me in the morning,” Val said flippantly as she took off her shoes.

  “I am attempting to treat you as an equal…No, more than that—as something precious.”

  “You’re not a virgin, right?”

  He looked around wildly. “No. But that is irrele—”

  “So you’ll sleep with other women, but not me?”

  He lost his temper, almost shouting the words at her, “You are not other women! You are it! I love you. I will die for you!”

  She shot him a disbelieving look and rolled her eyes.

  “Fine,” he growled, and then he took two steps closer to her, giving her a bruising kiss as he let her see just how much he wanted her.

  “Up,” he commanded, and she broke the kiss long enough to twine her arms around his neck and jump so that she could wrap her legs around his waist. He held her close, one hand on her back, and the other on her ass, as he effortlessly went to the stairs and carried her up them. She kissed him hungrily, and he bumped her bedroom door open with his shoulder, toppling them both to the bed rather gracelessly. “Oooff,” she said as his weight landed on her. His hands were everywhere: her side, her thigh, sliding up to the side of her breast and back down again, every touch setting her on fire.

  He pulled back, eyes dilated, both of them panting as he stared into her eyes. “Do you want to stop?” he asked.

  “Are you nuts?” she asked incredulously, and pushed at his shoulder, urging him to roll over so that she was lying on top of him. He complied, his arms around her waist, taking her with him as he went to his back.

  He chuckled at her comment, his hands spearing into her hair, as though he wanted to force her to see him. His grip was gentle, and as she looked at him, he smiled, the expression transforming his face, making him even more attractive than he usually was.

  Her heart melted. His smile also had quite the effect on her libido. She sat up, straddling his waist and dragging his shirt up his chest, enjoying the revealing of his muscled chest and abdomen. He crunched upwards, his shoulders lifting off the bed so she could remove his shirt, and she watched the play of muscles beneath his skin and whipped off her own shirt.

  She had the strangest feeling of déjà vu. As if this w
ere not the first time they’d been together. Valerie closed her eyes, and the image in her mind was still there. The location was different; the bedroom filled with antiques that she intuitively knew were his.

  Lucas’s hands shaped her breasts, pulling her back to reality.

  Valerie leaned down and kissed his neck, felt his groan vibrate through his chest as she worked her way downwards, tasting his skin and flicking her tongue over one flat nipple.

  “In my time, it was customary for a man to prove his—”

  “Virility?” Val suggested unhelpfully, as she reached the fine line of hair that ran below the waist of his jeans. She looked up at him playfully as she unbuttoned his jeans. He subtly arched up into her touch, his erection grazing her palm.

  “No, that will not be a concern,” he murmured. Val unzipped his jeans, parting the fabric and taking in the hard shape of him beneath his black boxer briefs. She kissed the head of his shaft through his briefs, and his hand tightened on her shoulder.

  He looked down at her, “Come here,” he said, and she looked at him questioningly. He reached down, pulling her up to him and rolling over again so that he was on top of her.

  “This is not about you pleasing me. This is about us being together, despite the obstacles.” He undid her clothing slowly, peeling it off her in between lengthy kisses, forcing her to slow down. He caressed her body with his hands, his lips following the path that he made until she was so wet with desire, she thought that one touch would make her come.

  He settled over her, the expression on his face a curious mixture of intensity and near pain. He drew her leg up, anchoring it to his hip with his arm as he pressed the head of his cock against her. “If we stay here, I want to do it right. Have it all and be with you, do you understand? I wanted to wait because you deserve a man better than me.”

  Her chest felt tight with emotion as she tried to digest his words through a haze of lust. “I cannot change my past. I can only go forward and try to make you happy, treat you well and…marry you.”