Love Is Mortal

by Caroline Hanson

  “Please,” he whispered. He let her into his mind so she could see what he wanted to say. Please don't cry. Please let me go. Please give me a chance not to hurt you. “I would rather die than risk harming you.”

  “I need you,” she said and squeezed him tight. It felt as if they lay there forever. A quiet duel between them. He made a rough sound and kissed her forehead. “Then you must bind me to you so tightly that I can never stray. Never commit an evil deed, even if I wished it. And when you die, I will die with you,” he said, voice low with commitment.

  She thought about what he was asking. “That would make you…a slave. No free will of your own.” She looked down into his eyes and his somber expression. Her lower lip trembled, and she bit it, trying not to cry. She didn't want some puppet version of him.

  “You know my heart more intimately than anyone ever has. Simply because you do not flinch away from darkness, doesn't mean that I don't. I know what I am capable of, the monster I will become without emotions. If you love me, you will not let me become that again. You would respect my wishes. I will not die. I will stay with you, but then….” We will die together. “I do not want to lose the courage for death.”

  That was stupid. How could he ask that of her? “I’m not going to make you my slave! What if I just send you out to get me donuts all day long, and make you rub my feet? You can be good.”

  A tear slipped down his cheek. “Try to leave enough of me so that I bring you a croissant instead.”

  She laughed and it turned into a sob. “That is the most feeble joke I have ever heard. I want you as you are. You can do good, Lucas.” Valerie felt his denial and determination radiating from him, turning hard and unbreakable.

  “Swear it. Swear that you will bind me and we will speak no more of it for now. We must find Cerdewellyn, and after that, if you make me yours, then we will live out our days together. Unless you change your mind,” he said, gently.

  “I won’t. Why would I?”

  He closed his eyes. Already things were so serious, so heavy, and so far away from what they had been. The dream of their fantasy life fading away. He laughed mirthlessly. “Children, a life in the sun, a man who can love you. If I were stronger, I would let you go. Let you have the life you want. But I do not want to let you go, either.”

  Had she won? It sure didn't feel like it. He framed her face with his palms, and urged her down to his lips, kissing her hungrily. She kissed him back, letting him into her mouth, wanting him to be with her, inside of her, to stay with her forever. He drew back. “We must find Cerdewellyn, and stop him from getting the Sard. I do love you, Valerie. Your safety is the only thing I want.”

  He urged her up and stood with graceful ease. He took her hand in his, squeezing her fingers gently.

  “What?” she asked, afraid of whatever he might say. “What am I missing?”

  “If I can get the Sard and make you safe with a wish, I will.”

  She knew she was still missing something. “What is the wish exactly?” she asked, head reeling, feeling like all of her plans were going up in smoke.

  “I would wish for magic to disappear.” He tried to pull her into his arms. She took a step back, not wanting him to comfort her. She wanted to see his face for this. “I am a vampire. If I wish for magic to disappear, that includes myself. The magic that animates me would be no more. I am dead, Valerie. And I would return to that state.”

  “So you’ll be good enough for me to love, some self-sacrificing knight, but dead?”

  He looked angry. “It is not easy, Valerie. I do not want to leave you, or give up my free will. But death…death is something that I am ready for. Making amends is something I must—”

  “Fine. Then bind yourself to me. Do it now if you’re going to,” she snapped, not wanting to hear anything else.

  He looked at her for a long while. “You cannot keep me from doing this. Think to control me, so that I do not avenge my family and protect you.”

  Damn him. “What if it’s too late?”

  He sighed. “Then it is. Then I can do nothing but begin to kill the vampires. All of them that I can. Either way, I will rid the world of monsters. Now come, we need to get to Cerdewellyn.”

  She didn't know if she wanted to cry or scream in rage. Maybe both. Talk about getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop. As long as he continued to drink her empathic blood, he would want to do what was right, even if it meant spending the next few decades killing every vampire he could. It was almost funny that this relationship had come full circle, and either she would wind up in a world with no monsters, but Lucas would be dead. Or there would be monsters, and she’d be with yet another guy determined to kill every vampire in existence.

  Lucas was looking at her expectantly, ready to move on and fight the good fight. She tried to get her wits in order. If Cerdewellyn unlocked the Sard and tapped into all that magic, he would be unstoppable. And one of the first things he would do would be to kill Lucas, create even more monsters and threats to humanity. They had to stop him, and Valerie had to find a way to keep Lucas from martyring himself in the process. “He was talking to someone. I saw him when I was healing you. It was somewhere dark.”

  “Can you go to him?”

  She blinked in surprise. “I don’t know. Can I?”

  “You can try,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

  “How do I do that?”

  “Think about him, about wanting to be there. Focus your will, and then see what happens.”

  That sounded too easy. “Can I fuck it up? Like, wind up in the middle of the ocean or something.”

  “No.”

  “How come?”

  “Because that would be foolish. You are not foolish,” he said and gave her a slight smile.

  That wasn’t a very good answer. “Wait. We need weapons first,” he said. And he walked over to Virginia’s torture table, picking up his own sword and then handing Valerie a dagger.

  “I need a gun,” she said. “Knives suck. And I know just where to go to get one.” And then she did it: focused her will, made them disappear and took them to Jack.

  Chapter 26

  VALERIE AND Lucas materialized in an apartment. She'd never seen it before, but a life-size portrait of Marion was in the corner of the room. "This is Marion's Paris home,” Lucas said, answering her unasked question. Rachel stood next to the dining room table, an assortment of jewelry boxes and heaps of jewels on the table before her. Silver and gold necklaces, and rings of every kind, shape and size. It was like a small treasure trove.

  Rachel looked up at her slowly, eyebrows lifting up in silent inquiry, as if Valerie appearing didn't even rate a verbal question. Of course not. That was the last damned straw. Valerie's blood started to pound, coursing through her veins in fury. Rachel had never seen her as a threat. Rachel had threatened her, harmed her, almost killed her, and then she had taken Jack. That bitch was going to die. And if she’d hurt Jack, she would make it slow.

  “Where is Jack? What did you do to him?” Rachel probably thought it was amusing to bring Jack to her and Marion's love nest. But she didn’t see him, and it made her scared. Was he dead?

  Valerie wasn't helpless anymore. Fey and empathic power coursed through her veins, making her physically strong and finally giving her an advantage. “Now you’re gonna tell me,” Valerie said, and let the magic rise within her, felt it unfurling from a dark place inside of her, ready to strike. The magic woke instantly, as if it were boiling inside of her, just waiting for someone to take off the lid. But it wasn’t just empathic magic; it was Fey. Virginia had taken her over, had become Cerdewellyn’s queen in truth, and that magic was there too, waiting to do her bidding.

  Small shoots of green vines rose from the ground, twining around Rachel's ankles, morphing and growing thorns, which scraped across her, sinking into Rachel's flesh as they tightened, filling Valerie with a malevolent pleasure.

  “Jack is coming back!” she shouted at Valerie. “I get that you final
ly grew a pair—ouch, but we don't have time for this. Get your fucking plants off me.” Valerie lunged forward, slamming into Rachel and taking her to the ground, her fist raised in fury. She punched her, using her supernatural strength to make the blows count. After two punches, she was being dragged off Rachel, the familiar unyielding hardness of Lucas's body at her back as he hauled her away from the witch.

  The door slammed as Jack came into the apartment and ran to Rachel, dropping to his knees beside her. He reached for the vines, ripping them off her, his hands instantly becoming bloody. "Don't touch them. I'll make them go away," Valerie gasped, and dispersed the magic, the vines decaying and turning to dirt in a matter of seconds.

  Jack threw her a wide-eyed look. “Are you fucking crazy?” he said in disbelief.

  Her fist hurt, and she shook it, then shrugged her shoulders angrily, telling Lucas with a gesture that she wanted him to let her go. “Me? You're the jackass that chose her! Do you know where you are? What the fuck, Jack?” And some of the rage left her, as if vocalizing her fury had stolen its power.

  He got to his feet slowly, looking at the blood on his hands distractedly. The bleeding stopped, the small wounds healing between one sentence and the next. “At least there are some benefits,” he said ruefully and flexed his unblemished hands. “I don't remember it, Valerie. Truly, I don't. I can't imagine what I was thinking…But it's done. She could have given me to Marion, but she didn't.”

  “That's your criteria for whether or not it turned out okay? She didn't give you to Marion? That’s bullshit!”

  Jack's jaw clenched. “What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry? I am. That I wish I had chosen you?” But he didn't answer that part. Valerie waited, expecting the comment to come.

  Lucas was at the table, looking over the jewels. His deep and unnaturally calm voice interrupted them. “Where is Marion?”

  “I don't know. She just vanished,” Rachel said. “The crafty old bitch sent us each out on a wild-goose chase, and when I got back she was gone.”

  Lucas turned the full weight of his attention to Rachel. Then he leaned back against the table, his fingers drumming lightly as he waited for her to answer. He'd never been so animated before. Even that small gesture, those tiny movements, were different. He was different. “What did you tell her?" Lucas asked, staying on track.

  Rachel rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache. Val hoped she’d caused it. “I told her you wanted the Sard. I don't think she believed me. She became suspicious and sent me on a wild-goose chase, hence all the tat.” Rachel gestured at the jewelry. “And when I came back, she was gone.”

  “Could she have put in a safety deposit box or something?” Jack asked.

  Lucas slanted him a look that Valerie took to mean that he thought Jack was an idiot. “No.”

  That pissed Jack off. “If you’re so fucking smart, where the hell is she then? Where would she keep it?”

  After a pause Lucas said, “She did not have it on her person, and it was not in any of her homes. There is only one place she values as sacred. Only one person she would dare to leave it with. That would be Margaret.”

  Valerie met Jack's gaze, as they both stood there, trying to figure out what Lucas meant. “You mean it’s buried with her? That's the creepiest fucking thing I've ever heard,” Jack muttered.

  “Ditto to what he said,” Valerie mumbled with a grimace. “Now would be my opportunity to make some cutting comment about you choosing the chick who loved her, and how it makes you an imbecile, but I won’t.”

  “Let's go,” Jack said, and patted himself down, checking to make sure he had all his weapons.

  "Do not be so hasty," Lucas said. "We cannot simply appear and engage them without a plan.”

  Jack snorted. "My plan is to shoot first and ask questions later. Sounds simple to me."

  "You would risk underestimating your enemies? A small amount of patience is all that is required from you. Cerdewellyn will have wasted no time in beginning the spell. My concern is for what we will do if we are too late. The gem is a source of power, and once he is restored, he will be very powerful and dangerous indeed.”

  “Then let's go. Why are we wasting time?” Valerie said. Jack gave her a who-the-hell-are-you-and-what -have-you-done-with-Valerie look.

  “I will engage Cerdewellyn, and take the gem. Hopefully, I will have time to change the Sard’s purpose.”

  “Oh? And what the hell are you going to wish for?" Jack asked suspiciously.

  Lucas blinked slowly as if striving for patience. “I wish to undo magic. Take it all away, no more vampires, no more Others of any kind. We undo it, so that the magic is taken from us.” He looked to Rachel, saw the hard set of her jaw.

  “It is what you want for Molly,” Lucas said.

  Rachel nodded jerkily then stood up straight. "Yeah. I had a good run of it. Almost a century of being young and hot…” her voice trailed off, and she swallowed hard.

  Jack grabbed Rachel by the arm, before she could turn away, forcing her to look at him. "Why are you sad? What am I missing?” He moved his body close to her as if he could shield her from Lucas, the world, maybe even the truth. And that was when Valerie realized that Jack actually cared for Rachel. Somehow, some wacky way, and despite her massive list of monster-related detriments, Jack cared for her.

  Rachel gave him a trembling smile. “No magic means no vampires. If I’m not a vampire, then I’m just a corpse.”

  Jack shook his head in denial.

  Rachel blinked quickly, her voice wavering. “I want what is best for Molly. For her to have the chance not to be a witch, is more than I ever could have hoped for. Even if it isn't what is best for me. Besides, she probably would've hated me anyway.”

  “Then let us go,” Lucas said. His arm snaked around Valerie's waist, pulling her close to him. He kissed her fiercely, trying to say so many things with just his lips and the press of his body: I'm sorry. I do love you. I could have loved you for all time.

  She couldn't stand the injustice of it all. She had finally found the person that she belonged with, and soon he’d be gone. He was a dream, a figment of her imagination. And he wouldn't fight it, would do nothing to try to stay with her. Even though she loved him, and even though he loved her, he was willing to die. For the first time in her life, she actually had power, and she still couldn’t do anything to save the one she loved. Part of her had always thought that if only she were stronger, more powerful; that she’d have everything she’d ever wanted.

  “Wait,” Valerie said and Lucas frowned at her. “Cerdewellyn still thinks that I’m Virginia. I can get close enough to him to kill him. Then you guys can show up and do the rest.”

  “No,” Lucas said flatly.

  How rude! She put her hands on her hips. “And why the hell not?”

  “Because you have had no success in attacking him in the past.”

  “At first glance, you have a good argument. But he’ll think I’m Virginia, and won’t expect an attack. And he will be so distracted trying to get his power back, that he won’t suspect a thing. I can do this.”

  “I preferred it when you hid behind me,” Lucas grumbled and crossed his arms unhappily.

  “That’s Women’s Lib for you. I don’t do dishes, and I stab Fey kings. We’re connected now. If things start going wrong, I’ll send you a telepathic text.”

  Lucas nodded unhappily, and Valerie closed her eyes, focusing on Cerdewellyn with her Fey magic. Concentrating on getting to him. Her body tingled, and she knew she’d disappeared; was travelling through time and space and on her way to Cer, Marion, and the end.

  The clarity of the moment filled her with peace. The sense of rightness and conviction giving her strength. She didn't care what anybody else wanted, be it Lucas, Jack or Cerdewellyn. Valerie was putting on her game face and taking names. She didn’t have a destiny or fate, dang it. Nothing was decided yet. If she wanted a life with Lucas, she’d have to fight for it.

  Valerie materia
lized in a crypt, the smell a mixture of dust, dirt and wet stone. The crypt was large and underground. No windows, and carved out of the earth centuries ago. Creepy. A single coffin was in the middle of the room, and the lid was pushed back, shoved to the side, which had to be a bad sign.

  Valerie scanned the room, her instincts demanding she search for the corpse as if it had climbed out on its own and would attack her. Marion and Cerdewellyn stood in the corner, next to a table with a single kerosene lamp.

  Cerdwellyn looked up from the book, and Valerie saw a myriad of emotions flicker across his face, as fast as ripples across the surface of a pond. Perhaps he was surprised to see her. Happy and then…something. She suddenly feared that he knew Virginia was gone. Perhaps he could see through her magic, or she had done it wrong.

  Marion hissed and said, “That is Lucas’ whore. Whatever she has told you is a lie.”

  “No, Lucas’…” Cer hesitated, as though he found saying the word whore distasteful, “female is gone.” He looked down at the gem in his hand, studying it. “My true love inhabits that body. My queen. The only reason I have left to do any of this.” He looked up, and she had the impression that he was thinking, calculating. Again, she was faced with the fear that he knew she wasn’t Virginia.

  “You must not touch her, or else I will kill you and grind your child's bones to dust.” Marion made a small harrumphing noise and crossed her arms petulantly.

  “It is not safe for you,” Cerdewellyn said. “And what of Lucas? You were to stay in Fey.”

  She thought quickly. “The witch and the wolf returned, seeking to free Lucas and Valerie. I had no choice but to flee. Lucas is dead.” Her voice trembled.

  Marion was eyeing her, looking her over from head to toe. “After all the things that Lucas has done to your king, the least you could have done was let Cer finish him off. Take it from me, my dear, relationships are about compromise.” Marion batted her eyelashes at Cerdewellyn. The idea of Marion hitting on Cerdewellyn was wrong on so many levels.