by Mia Carson
“Uh, yeah, I guess we did,” I said, trying to not make it incredibly obvious how uncomfortable the question had made me. I couldn't put my finger on what made me uncomfortable. It wasn't like her mom knew that Annie and I had dated, which was confirmed by her next question.
“Do you remember Annie at all? I think you shared a minor, didn't you?”
“Yeah,” I said, and lied through my teeth, “but I don't think we had any classes together.”
“Well, at least the two of you will have something to talk about.”
I almost snorted. We definitely had something to talk about. But I was pretty sure neither of us wanted to go near that subject. It was a bigger elephant in the room than the amount of awkward being on a date with my dad made me feel. It was the first time I'd accompanied him, but it was also the longest he'd seen anyone. He hadn't exactly had the best track record with women, starting with Mom. That was another subject I didn't want to get into.
I steered my thoughts away from that in time to watch Annie return from the bathroom, her eyelashes damp. I offered her a little smile. She caught my eye, noticed, and returned it. I don't know if it was because she wanted to or if it was because of the company we shared, but my chest tightened. I reached for my wine glass. Thank God Dad was driving, because it was going to be a long night.
I was well past tipsy when it was time to order dessert. Thankfully, all of us passed. I wasn't sure I could sit across from Annie much longer without saying something stupid. Probably shouldn't have drunk so much, but it was on my dad's dime. It was his fault I was stuck here with my ex. Annie had a bit of red to her cheeks, too. It did make me feel better; I wasn't alone in my torment. She probably hadn't wanted to see me. That thought hurt.
Dad led the way out of the restaurant and pulled Ms. Newell aside for a more private goodbye, leaving Annie and me relatively alone. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my pants and scuffed my toe against the ground.
“You need a haircut,” Annie said.
Self-consciously, I ran my fingers through my shaggy hair. That was how Annie had liked it. She used to play with it constantly, and that last night... I stopped myself. That was a dangerous path for my thoughts to go down. I smoothed my hair as best as I could and put my hand back in my pocket.
“So, I guess I'll probably be seeing you around some, huh?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Annie replied. “I guess you will.”
My jaw clenched at her tone. I sighed. “Annie, look, I'm—”
“It's fine,” she said quickly and gave me a smile that was too tight. “Mom, are you ready?” Ms. Newell looked over at the two of us a bit sheepishly.
“Sorry, Annie,” she said and returned to us. She surprised me by pulling me into a hug. “It was nice meeting you, Zach.”
“You, too,” I said, patting her back awkwardly. She didn't hold on for too long. I caught a glimpse of Dad doing the same to Annie. He was a big guy with a bit of a beer belly and broad shoulders, and his hug almost completely winked Annie out of existence. If I hadn't been feeling a dozen other things, I might have found it funny. Instead, I just really wanted to leave before things got any more awkward.
Dad released Annie and said, “I'll call you,” to Ms. Newell. Together, we watched as Annie and her mom returned to their car. I could tell Dad was stealing little looks at me out of the corner of his eye. I waited until the ladies had rounded a corner before I turned my head to look at him and raised my brows.
“What?” I asked. “Do I have something on my face?”
Dad gave me that grumpy 'don't be a smart-ass' look he always gave me when I was being a smart-ass. “Well? What do you think? Do you like her?”
“She's nice, Dad,” I said, because it was what he wanted to hear and because it was my honest opinion. I really couldn't speak as to her attractiveness, but I knew the look on Dad's face. He definitely thought she was the most beautiful woman in the room.
“'She's nice' he says,” Dad said mockingly with a grin and a dramatic sigh. He slung a heavy arm around my shoulders and turned us around, leading us back towards our own car. “Well, I'm glad you think that at least, 'cause if Annie's okay with it, Donna and I have tentative plans for the four of us to go on a cruise around the Caribbean together. It's the perfect time of year for it, and I found a really good deal. Don't give me that look.”
“A cruise, Dad? Really? Isn't that a lot of money to spend on someone you've only been talking to for a few months?”
“Haven't you ever had an instant connection with someone?” Dad asked me. “Now, I know I don't have the best track record with women, but I really think Donna is something else. I haven't felt this way since your mother.”
I bit back a sigh. I tried not to judge the women my dad had met over the years, but it was hard when he came home with sad eyes, trying to put on a brave face for me because I was so young. I didn't really understand what had happened between him and Mom until I was older and he told me when he'd had a few too many beers, but ever since, I'd been overprotective of him when it came to women. I knew he valued my opinion, and for that reason I tried to always be honest with him, even if I knew he wouldn't like what I had to say. This time, he would.
“I like her, Dad,” I said when we got into the car.
“And Annie? She seems sweet.”
“Yeah, she does. I like her, too.” And that was the understatement of the century. “Are you sure about this cruise, though?”
Dad pulled the car out into the stream of after-dinner traffic and turned down the radio so we could talk without having to shout. “The first night we had dinner, Donna talked about how she wanted to visit the islands, but she just didn't have the time or the money while she was trying to raise Annie. Now, between the two of us, it's a completely affordable trip, and I really want to take her down there.”
“Okay,” I said, because it sounded reasonable, “but…why are Annie and I coming?” He gave me that look out of the corner of his eye.
“Because I think it would be really nice for all of us to spend some time together.”
“Whatever you say, Dad,” I said. “I'm not gonna say 'no' to a vacation.”
“I didn't think you would,” Dad said. He turned the music back up and drummed his hands against the steering wheel. I leaned my head against the window and wondered if Annie would be as receptive to the idea of going on a cruise when she found out I'd be there as well.
I lived kind of close to Dad, which saved me having to stay with him like Annie was with her mom. I could actually have walked to the restaurant and back if I'd wanted to, but my allergies acted up in the spring and a ride was always welcome. I didn't really see Dad much, despite being so close to him. Even if I hadn't liked Donna, I would have enjoyed going out to dinner with Dad. Especially since it hadn't been on my dime.
He pulled up in front of my apartment building and put the car in park to unlock the doors. With one hand, he clapped my shoulder, then ruffled my hair. I smoothed it down again out of habit. Briefly, I thought about cutting it. There was no point keeping it long when I didn't have Annie's opinion to consider, and her telling me I should wasn't the first time it had been mentioned.
“Let me know about the trip,” I said as I opened the door. “I'll have to get the time off work.”
“I'll know within the week,” Dad said. “I hope Donna thinks it's as good an idea as I do.”
“I'm sure it'll be fine, Dad,” I said. I leaned down to look back into the car and give him a smile. “Thanks for dinner.” He waved me off. I waited for him to pull away from the curb before I fished my keys from my pocket and headed inside. Away from family and company, I could let the facade I had put up the second I saw Annie fall from my face. I felt incredibly tired, like someone had tied weights to my feet, hands, and eyes. Seeing Annie had dredged up too many old memories, none of which I could really bring myself to face. If this cruise thing happened... Well, at least we'd have an entire ship to a
void each other on.
I let myself into my apartment and kicked off my shoes, leaving them where they landed. I'd had a lot to drink at dinner, but that didn't stop me from grabbing a beer from my fridge. I cracked open the tab and took a swig, pulling my shirt out of my pants with my free hand. Gratefully, I sank into my sofa, setting my drink on the table and reaching for the remote next to it. I flipped channels, but nothing caught my interest. Eventually, I settled on one of the dozen half-hour block comedy shows and settled back with my beer. Some mindless entertainment might help distract me, but either my thoughts of Annie were too strong or the show wasn't that engaging. Regardless, I wasn't paying attention to the TV at all. I couldn't stop thinking about Annie, about how pretty she'd looked in her summer dress, and how she somehow managed to look different but exactly the same as I remembered her simultaneously.
I'd tried to apologize to her, but if she'd opened any of my texts or listened to any of the messages I left after we broke up, she had never returned them. She left me hanging as much as I had left her. I guess that was only fair. I'd never told her the real reason I'd left her, and as such, I didn't deserve her forgiveness. It would sure be nice if she gave it, though, especially since the relationship between our parents looked pretty serious.
Dad was a careful guy, especially with me to look after, and Donna probably felt the same with Annie. Annie and I had rarely spoken about our parents' divorces because it was a tender subject for me and somewhat awkward for her, but it had been one of the things we'd bonded over. Strange how it was the reason she had come back into my life after all this time.
I stewed and drank and eventually fell asleep on the couch somewhere around eleven, only to wake up an hour later to drag my tired ass to bed. The next morning, I had a headache and a churning in my stomach indicating I probably shouldn't have had that beer right before passing out. Still, hangover or not, I had work to do. Design plans didn't draw themselves.
One of the things I liked most about my job was being able to bring it home with me and work in the little makeshift office that used to be the den. It was my space, a place tailored exactly how I wanted it, and a place that no one but me was allowed to see. If I wasn't in there, the door was closed, and if I was, it was still usually closed. It was quiet and calm and exactly what I needed on a hungover Saturday morning. I took some coffee and a bowl of cereal and sat down at my desk.
Before me lay the assignment I had brought home. Converting a townhouse into a series of apartments wasn't the most difficult task I'd ever done, but there was a certain finesse to it. Some walls would have to be knocked down and some piping would have to be redone, but for the most part, each floor of this particular building was already relatively self-contained. It made my job easier, and being put on lead had given me a huge bonus. Finalizing my blueprints was the one thing that took my mind off Annie for an extended period of time. It didn't work forever, though; I was back to worrying about going on a vacation with her more quickly than I should have been. Still, two years was a long time. Maybe things wouldn't be that bad.
I would have to deal with it either way. Apparently Donna was absolutely thrilled by the idea of going on a cruise with Dad and I and had managed to persuade Annie to come as well, which meant I either had to go or come up with a damn good reason why I couldn't go that wasn't just 'work said I can't.' Dad knew damn well I had a lot of leeway when it came to my job, especially when all my work was finished. Not for the first time, I cursed my own productivity and called Dad for details.
“Hey, kiddo!” he greeted, picking up after the second ring. “Got the good news?”
“Yep, sure did,” I replied. “You gonna give me the details or are you just gonna gush about how you were right and I was wrong?”
“Don't be a smart-ass,” Dad said. “I'm just double-checking the itinerary now. Donna and I talked about it a good deal last night, and as much as we love you kids, we want to make sure we have some time alone together. It's only two weeks.” I hummed, waiting for him to continue. “I hate to spring it on you so abruptly, but do you think you can get the vacation time this month?”
“Yeah,” I said, not even having to think about it. “That's kind of short notice, though.”
“Well, it's either grab these tickets now or have to pay a hell of a lot more for them. I'd like for you to come, but don't think for a second I won't ditch your ass for a good deal.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I replied. I heard him clacking away at his keyboard and leaned back in my chair, tapping the back of my pencil against the drawing laid out in front of me. After thirty seconds or so, I finally spoke up. “Dad.”
“Sorry,” he said automatically. “Was just typing back a response to Donna. She said Annie can do work from the ship as long as she can get on the internet, which she can. It'll be expensive but not too bad considering the deal I'm getting, and I assume you can do the same thing?”
“Yeah. I might have to Skype with someone, but other than that, the designs are done. A lot of my stuff is portable.”
“So it's settled then?” Dad asked.
I bit back a sigh. I could say 'no' if I really wanted to, but that would go against all the reasons I'd just given about why it wouldn't be a problem with work. I wasn't sure I could come up with another excuse in such a short amount of time. The decision had been made for me. I just had to hope it wouldn't end in a complete disaster.
“Yeah, it's settled,” I said. “Sign me up.”
Annie
Honestly, I can't really say how Mom persuaded me to go on a cruise with her. Everything happened so fast, and I was still in a state of shock when I agreed to go. I only remembered bits and pieces of the conversation, just like I only remembered bits and pieces of the dinner. Seeing Zach had brought up a mess of emotions that I couldn't even begin to sort out. And now, I'd managed to get myself wrapped up in a cruise with him and his dad—stuck on a ship in the middle of the ocean with the only guy I had ever had a relationship with. There was a sharp little pain in my chest that I tried to breathe through until it faded to a dull ache.
There would be a whole ship I could lose myself in, I told myself as Mom rambled on about whatever Evan had emailed her. Zach had agreed to join our family vacation, so that settled that. Out of Mom's sight on the sofa, I ran my hands down my face and pushed at my cheeks with my fingers, letting out a strained stream of breath.
“You okay?” Mom called.
“Fine,” I replied. “Just tired.” Which was true enough. I'd barely slept the night before. My brain had been launched back to college and everything that came with it. Even when I did manage to fall asleep, I'd had dreams that felt more like memories and woke up every other hour or so. To me, it seemed like an ominous omen for the trip to come. A whole ship, I reminded myself. It was two weeks, but it was a whole ship. If I didn't want to see Zach, I wouldn't have to, except for meals, and even then, maybe not all the time.
“Well, Evan's bought the tickets!” Mom announced. She sounded so happy that I managed to fix a smile on my face when she came to sit next to me. “Oh, I'm so excited!” She looked it.
I knew how much Mom wanted to travel to the Caribbean, and it was nice of Evan to buy the tickets for all of us without asking Mom to help. It wasn't him that was the problem, although I did feel slightly awkward about the prospect of being on a trip with him and my mom. I didn't really want to think about what they would get up to. I pulled my knees up to my chest and leaned against the arm of the sofa. There was an entire ship, I told myself again. An entire ship.
I had only packed for a weekend with Mom, so I had to drive back home to get the rest of my stuff. Mom offered to come with me, and I gladly accepted; I could enjoy the ride from the passenger seat. It was a bit too chilly for me to put the window down, so I settled for pressing my face against the glass and watching the countryside pass by. That was the good thing about suddenly going on a cruise—warm weather and bright sunlight, and the bluest water in t
he world. Well, that and Mom being absolutely over the moon about it.
When we reached my apartment, Mom put on some coffee and I put on music, and we began to raid my closet. I let Mom take the lead and dug my big suitcase out from the back of my closet where it had been stashed since I'd moved in. A smaller bag rattled around inside it. Mom made a careless pile of clothes on my bed, leaving me to sort through them. I pulled out what I wanted and tossed them into my suitcase, intending to fold them later, and threw the rejects onto my pillows.
“You can't pack your suitcase like that,” Mom said.
“I'm going to fold it,” I replied. Mom just nudged me out of the way and picked up an armful of my clothes. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I'll go make lunch,” I said, and left Mom humming to the music and meticulously folding all my clothes.
If I didn't think about Zach, I had to admit I was excited about the trip. I'd never been on a cruise before. Mom hadn't said anything about where we were going or what we were going to do, and I didn't know if Evan was keeping it from her as a surprise or if she wanted to surprise me. The former made more sense. This trip was all about her.
I came back up with a sandwich. “Mom?” I asked.
“Yes, sweetie?” she replied. She'd rolled up all my clothes into impossibly small bundles and was tucking them neatly, side by side, into the bottom of my suitcase. I never would have been able to organize my bag like that. I hadn't inherited that skill from either of my parents.
“Are you sure about this? I mean...” I knew what I meant, but I didn't know how to put it into words.
Mom straightened, bracing her hands against her lower back, and half turned to smile at me. “I'm sure,” she said. “Evan's a lovely man. I don't think we've talked about this since our first date, and he remembered. I know two weeks seems long, but it's a pretty standard vacation. Part of it's going to be spent sailing down the coast, anyway.”