She was sure he would understand about the research, and he would probably laugh when she told him about the coincidence of having a character with almost the same name as him. Right?
CHAPTER TEN
Ben trudged through the lobby of the condo where he lived and pressed the elevator button. It was 3 a.m. Thursday morning, and the case was finally closed. They’d found the shooter, an idiot who still had the gun he'd used to kill three people, his ex-girlfriend, her new boyfriend, and his brother. Seems the genius nailed the wrong guy the first time. He’d killed the brother by mistake. He’d seemed genuinely contrite about that. Not so much about the other two.
It was all in the DA’s hands now. He’d had no more than twenty-four hours sleep in the last week. So he was going to go to bed and sleep until at least eight o’clock. But first, he’d check his phone. He had texted Jane from the station to see if she was free Thursday night. It wasn’t their usual night, but since she was off Fridays and he had the day off now, too, he didn’t want to lose a moment with her.
He pulled out his phone. She had already responded. She was working until nine, her note said, but then she was free after that until Sunday morning. She knew he was busy, but if he wanted to see her, he had only to text, and she’d meet him anywhere, anytime, even if it was only for a few minutes or a quickie.
He grinned as he texted back. She was amazing. And as exhausted as he was, his cock twitched at the thought of having a quickie with her.
What he really wanted was to spend the entire two days with her. He decided he was going to take her out for a late dinner, because if they ate in, he’d give in to other hungers, and they wouldn’t be eating for a long, long time. Once dinner was over and he took her home, he planned for them to spend the next two days in bed. He made a mental note to pick up a jumbo box of condoms before he picked her up.
First, though, he needed sleep. A lot of sleep.
The sun was streaming through a gap between his curtains when he woke up to someone pounding on his door. Ugh. He checked his watch. It was nine. He’d been asleep for only six hours. Not bad for a normal night, but given his week, it wasn’t nearly enough. No wonder he felt like shit.
“Coming! Hold your horses!”
He looked through the peephole and frowned as he opened the door.
“Julie, what are you doing here?”
“It’s all over the news that you caught the bad guy! I was so worried. They said that shots had been fired, and I was worried you were dead. I called the station, and they said you were okay, but you weren’t at work so I came straight over to see for myself.”
“Yes, well, you can see I’m fine. I just want to go back to sleep. I’m exhausted, Julie. It’s been a hard week.”
He started to close the door but she slid past him into his apartment. She was carrying several bags.
“Look, Julie. I’m fine, really. I just need to get some more sleep. I’m exhausted.”
“And hungry?”
He started to deny it then realized that he was hungry. He must have given it away in his expression. She smiled broadly as she walked over to the small kitchen and placed the bags on the counter.
“I knew you wouldn’t have had time to shop. I’ll just whip you up something light and quick, maybe an omelet.” She looked around. “And then you can go back to bed. I’ll just tidy up a bit and then when you wake up again, I’ll have a nice home cooked meal ready for you. I brought a prime rib roast, your favorite!”
“Thanks, Julie, you didn’t have to do that.”
“But I wanted to. And the boys are with friends. It will just be you and me.”
“Look, Julie, that’s really kind of you, but I have dinner plans tonight.”
Julie’s smile froze. “It’s her, isn’t it? That librarian.”
“Yes, Jane. Her name is Jane.” He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he was just so happy at the thought of seeing Jane again. “She’s working late, but I’m going to pick her up when she gets off work and take her someplace nice.”
Julie’s shoulders slumped, tears welling up in her eyes. Damn.
“Julie, what’s wrong? You knew I was dating someone…” He had no idea what to say. The tears were running down her cheeks now. In the past, he would have pulled her into his arms to comfort her. Hell, he’d done it a hundred times. But when she took a step toward him, her arms outstretched, he automatically stepped back.
For a second, he thought he saw a flash of something else across her face, but he must have been imaging it, because she just had that sad look in her face.
“You’re leaving us, aren’t you? I knew it would happen one day. I fell in love with you, your sweetness and kindness. The boys love you, too. You’re their second dad. But you’re moving on, aren’t you? You’re leaving us for her!”
“I’m not leaving anyone, Julie. You’re Chuck’s widow. I’ll always care about you and be there when I can. And I love the boys. But Jane… well, I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s special. To me.”
“Oh, Ben. It’s just that I don’t want to see you hurt. So many women throw themselves at cops, but they can’t stand the long hours or the danger or the uncertainty. I understand all that. If you could just give me a chance, Ben, I could make you happy.”
“Julie, I am so sorry. I don’t think about you in that way. You’re like a sister to me. But Jane… “
“Jane… I know you're infatuated with her, and she probably says she’s okay with your long hours and uncertain schedule… the danger…”
“Her stepfather was a firefighter. She grew up in a household where service and danger were part of the deal. I think she can handle my job.”
“But can you handle hers?”
What? He looked at Julie. She didn’t look sad any more. She looked angry, her eyes glittering. If it wasn’t for Troy and Tommy…
“What do you mean handle hers? She’s a librarian for goodness sake. What’s there to handle? An excess of paper cuts?”
“Oh, didn’t she tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Little miss goody two shoes has a side job writing smut.”
“I know. She writes romance novels.”
“Have you read one?”
He shook his head and laughed. “Not my thing, although, you know I probably should. Thanks, Julie!”
“That’s not what I meant, Ben. Look, I took the boys to story time on Sunday at her library. You made it sound so wonderful. I met your Jane. Little miss prim and proper. I found out her pen name and checked her out.”
“How? I don’t even know what it is.”
“That’s not important. I downloaded a couple of her books. They aren’t sweet romances. They are dirty books, all sex, and well, they are dirty. And her latest includes BDSM. She only joined Club Hades to do the research. She’s not a submissive, not a real one like I am. She’s playing at it for material for her novel.”
“You’re… that doesn’t make sense. She never said anything.”
“Of course not. She’s written you into her book. She had a synopsis of the book on her desk at work and I took a peak. The dark haired hero cop, Brad Coogan. She’s hardly changed anything about you except the character’s name, slightly. The heroine is a BDSM novice and Brad’s introducing her to the lifestyle.”
Ben wanted to sit down. He stumbled back until he reached the back of his couch. He leaned against it. His heart was pounding in his chest. Was this true? Was he only research for her?
Julie came toward him, flinging her arms around him.
“Forget her!”
He stood back up and pushed her away. “No, Julie, no.”
“You can’t still want her?”
“Yes, no, I don’t know. But you and me, Julie, we’re not happening. You were Chuck’s wife.”
“But Chuck is dead and we’re alive. I’m the perfect wife for you, and the perfect submissive. And you know how much the boys love you. They want you to be their new dad.”
<
br /> “You’re like my sister, Julie. You have to accept there can be nothing more between us. And if you don’t back off, I’m going to have to stop coming around. I don’t want to do that to Tommy and Troy, but if you're going to put ideas like that into their heads, maybe I should…”
He looked at her and waited. Wordlessly she turned and walked toward the door.
“You’re making a big mistake, Ben. No one can love you like I do. But if you insist on choosing that liar over me, don’t come running back when she breaks your heart. I won’t take second place!”
With the snick of the closing door, she was gone, and he was alone.
It was still early, not even ten, and he was exhausted and wired at the same time. He wanted to go see her right away and have her tell him that everything Julie said was a lie, but he had to wait. She didn’t start work until noon, and only a bastard would have this kind of conversation with someone just before they started work.
He would go back to bed, and tonight, he’d tell Jane about what Julie said. She’d explain it all, and everything would be fine again. He was sure of it. Pretty sure of it.
Jane looked at the clock. It was barely 2 p.m. How was she going to last until nine? It seemed like forever since she’d last seen Ben even though it had only been a few days.
Was she being selfish? He’d just closed his case early this morning. Maybe they should wait until tomorrow to get together? Ben was probably exhausted, but he didn’t want to disappoint her.
For the next two hours, she went back and forth in her mind as she helped out the customers. Finally on her break, she googled the arrest Ben had made. There was an article with photos showing him leaving the police station just before three.
That settled it. She was being selfish. He needed to rest and recuperate. She could see him Friday morning. She decided to text him.
Ben was lying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about what Julie said, his thoughts see-sawing between how he could keep up a relationship with the boys while avoiding Julie and trying to figure out if what she said about Jane was true.
His stomach rumbled. Julie was right about one thing. He was hungry.
He finally got up. It was noon, and he hadn’t been able to get back to sleep. Julie had left the groceries behind. An omelet sounded good. He’d pay her for the groceries later.
He brooded as he cooked.
It didn’t make any sense. Sweet, open Jane. Surely she would have mentioned if she was writing a book. Unless, of course, she was using him for material, playing him, playing at wanting to be a submissive… his submissive. Surely, though, it was going a bit far with the research to actually let a Dom spank her and have sex with her.
She could just as easily have observed. Like she did the first night. He sucked in his breath. She’d been fascinated with the various scenes, studying each one intently. He’d thought she was trying to decide what appealed most to her, but what if she was making mental notes for her book?
It would explain why she panicked when he started their scene. It suddenly got too real for her.
So why did she come back? Not enough material? Did she decide that she actually had to experience submission for the sake of her writing? Was he nothing but a guinea pig? Hell, was her stepfather even actually a fire fighter? Was that a lie to help her get closer to him, to manipulate him to get what she needed?
After eating, he went back to bed. His hunger was sated, but he was getting angry again. Sleep was farther away than ever when he heard his phone vibrating on the night stand.
Saw you on the news website. You must be exhausted. Get some rest tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow if you are up for it. Breakfast. My treat. TTYL J xoxoxo
What the...? She was avoiding him now? Maybe this was her prelude to blowing him off? Was Julie right? She was going to dump him because she was just in training so she could write a damned book?
He couldn’t seem to shut his mind off. Clearly he was making himself crazy. He looked at the clock. He had been dozing off and on since Julie left, and he wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep easily. Ben decided to head down to the condo gym. A couple of miles on the treadmill and a dozen laps in the pool, and he’d be able to go back to sleep. He’d set his alarm for 8 that evening and be waiting at the library when Jane got off work.
One way or another, he had to know the truth.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jane headed down the steps of the library. Two of her colleagues were on closing up duty, so she could head straight home. She sighed. When she’d arranged things, she expected she’d be heading out to dinner with Ben. But no matter how much she wanted to see him, she couldn’t get the way he looked on the news out of her head. He’d had dark circles under his eyes and looked just plain exhausted. It would be selfish of her to want to see him tonight. Tomorrow, though, he was hers. Or rather, she was his.
She grinned at the thought.
“What are you grinning about?”
“Just thinking about…” her voice trailed off at his inquisitive grin. “Wipe that smirk off your face, Marcus.”
“Don’t be coy. You are thinking about a man, aren’t you? And it’s not me!”
Jane laughed. Marcus and his boyfriend Todd had been together for five years and were now in the middle of planning their wedding. Marcus was tall, dark and handsome, and always had to fight off women who were convinced he couldn’t possibly prefer men. They’d been friends since college. She gave him a big hug.
“Tell Todd I’m am not wearing that hideous Day-Glo orange bridesmaid gown he picked out.”
“Worried the boyfriend won’t approve?”
Marcus laughed and kissed her cheek. “Dinner next week? And bring the new boyfriend. I want to meet the man who can make you smile and blush like that!”
“You bet!”
With one last hug, Marcus turned on his heel and started walking away, but before he went half a dozen steps, he stopped, turned and shouted, “And don’t worry. I’ll get you out of that dress if it’s the last thing I do!”
She watched until he disappeared into the crowd on the sidewalk. Marcus was such a great guy. And so was Todd, despite his horrendous taste in dresses. Jane had a sudden thought. Would Ben be willing to be her date for the wedding? It wasn’t for another two months. She still had time to ask him. It was probably too soon in their relationship to ask him to suffer through a wedding… but a girl could dream.
“So who’s that?”
Jane jumped and dropped her key.
“Ben! I thought you we weren’t getting together until tomorrow?” She moved to hug him but he stepped back. She stopped, suddenly uncertain. He didn’t just look tired, he looked upset, angry even.
Ben watched as the stranger hugged and kissed Jane. No wonder she didn’t want to get together with him tonight. She had another date. He was fuming and ready to leave when the other man kissed her cheek before turning and walking away.
Okay, that wasn’t what he was expecting.
Now he was torn between a desire to follow the other man and tell him to keep his hands and his lips off his woman and staying to confront Jane.
Then he saw the smile on her face and it was like a knife in his gut. She had a dreamy look on her face and there was anticipation, too.
“No wonder you didn’t want to see me tonight. You’ve already got someone else lined up. So when will he be getting you out of your dress? Should I tell him it’s not that hard? You stripped down for me pretty quickly.”
Ben knew he was being nasty, a total douchebag in fact, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. He was hot and cold at the same time. He felt wired. He’d run ten miles and swam more than a dozen laps, but after a shower, he ended up lying in bed staring up at the ceiling for hours.
He saw the bewilderment on her face tinged with hurt, but he couldn’t seem to stop his mouth from running on and on.
“I guess you have enough BDSM for your book and are moving on. So how was I? Did I give you enough
material, or do you want one last lesson so you have enough material for your new BDSM series. I still do owe you a session of forced orgasm torture. Is that why you are still stringing me along? Hell, maybe you’ll give me a testimonial in your book! Ben Cooper, Dom, cop and too stupid to know when he’s being used.”
He saw Jane’s eyes widen with—was it fear?—as he shouted the last words at her. She took a step back, and he took one forward and then another so he was standing over her, looming over her, using his extra height to intimidate her. He leaned down, dropping his voice, almost whispering into her ear.
“Well? Do you still want me to tie you down and torture you with my mouth and my fingers and my cock until you are screaming with pleasure and begging me to stop, but I won’t until you’ve come at least a dozen times and so wrung out that you can just lie there and take whatever I give you? Do you want that?”
Jane felt herself start to hyperventilate and had to deliberately slow her breathing down. She looked up at Ben as he kept saying those hurtful words turning something they’d both been looking forward to into something bad.
What was wrong with him? He hadn’t gotten much sleep in the last week, but the case was done. He should have been sleeping all day, but he looked so wired that she was afraid for him. But not of him. Never of him.
“Ben? What’s wrong? Why are you saying these things? I can explain. Just give me a chance.”
“Did you think you could just use me and walk away? It looks like you’ve got my replacement already lined up. Or have you been seeing him all along, and I’ve just been your bit on the side. I was work and he was pleasure.”
“You’re talking crazy, Ben. That’s just Marcus. We work together. He’s my friend.”
“Yeah, right. You may work together, but I’ve never told any of the women I work with I was planning on getting them out of a dress.”
Kinky Book Club Trilogy: Written Submission, unSubmissive and Undercover Submissive Page 8