She almost sagged with relief. He had clearly misunderstood her relationship with Marcus. She would explain…
“And I know everything. Everything.”
“You do? I was going to tell you about my books, but I guess I was a bit embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed to be using me?”
She looked at him, and her words froze in her throat.
“Embarrassed to be writing about your sex life? Our sex life? You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I hope you’ve gotten everything you need because I’m not going to give you more material for your book or your new BDSM series. You’ll have to find another Dom for that.”
“Ben! What are you talking about?”
At her words he stopped and looked at her. Then he took a step forward. She stepped back. Her back was against her car so she couldn’t retreat any further.
“You used me. You used everyone at the club, but especially me. I can’t believe you put me in your book!”
“Ben, I don’t know who told you this but…”
“Do you deny you are writing a book about BDSM?”
“Well, no. But it—”
“No more lies!”
“I never lied to you. Never. And I never used you.”
“Yeah right. Brad Coogan. Ben Cooper. You couldn’t be more creative with the name?”
She started to protest again, but he didn’t want to hear any more so he shouted over her. “You wanted material on BDSM for your damned book, well, let me help me some more with your research!”
He gripped her upper arms. His hands were firm. She wouldn’t be able to break his grip. But he wasn’t hurting her. Then he leaned down and ground his mouth against hers, his tongue demanding entry.
Jane felt the same spark of arousal that she always felt when he touched her, when he kissed her, but she wouldn’t him to use her this way, not now, not like this.
Jane turned her head away, breaking contact.
With a harsh laugh, he dropped his hands and stepped back.
“Was any of it true? Any of it? Your feelings for me? Hell, is your stepfather really a fire fighter, or was that a lie too so I’d let you get closer to me?”
She could see the pain in his face and wanted to soothe him, but she was angry as well. How could he confront her like this without giving her a chance to explain? Hell, how did he even find out about her book?
“I never lied to you, Ben. Not once.”
“Lie of commission. Lie of omission. Tell me you aren’t writing a book about BDSM. And I’m not featured in it. The damaged cop who gets off on beating on the women in his life as well as suspects.”
She was going to kill Julie, really she was. She was mad at herself, too. She was so naïve. She should have known that bitch would have run to Ben and use the information she’d found to try to break them up.
She expected more from Ben than for him to blindly believe Julie’s lies. The need to explain to him warred with the hurt of him not trusting her. He should have asked and not jumped to conclusions.
Ben looked down at Jane’s face and saw a mix of emotions. There was confusion. And hurt. He raised a hand to touch her cheek, and she flinched from him. In fear.
She had flinched.
Suddenly all his anger drained away, and with it, his burst of energy. He just wanted to go home and lock the door and sleep for a week. He turned on his heel and walked away without another word.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jane watched Ben stride away from her and felt a wave of anger flood through her.
“Ben!”
He hesitated and then kept walking without a backward glance.
Jane took a deep breath. And then another. The bastard! He should have given her a chance to explain. Hell, she should have told him about her books. He had a right to be mad about that, but he should listen to her now and not just walk away.
Stubborn bastard. She watched his retreating back. She thought about going after him, but between his lack of sleep and the mood he was in, maybe she should give it some time so he could calm down and be ready to listen to what she had to say.
“You okay?”
She jumped. “Marcus?”
“I picked up a little surprise for Todd and left it my on desk, so I came back to get it. I just caught the end of things. Should I go after him and call him out? Maybe challenge him to a duel?”
“No. It’s too late for that.”
“Too late for a duel?”
“No, you idiot. Too late to talk to him now. He’s furious with me. I need to let him calm down first.”
“Judging from your expression, I’d say that was the boyfriend who had put that ridiculous grin on your face earlier.”
“Yes. I mean, no. He’s not my boyfriend any longer.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“He found out something I should have told him earlier, but instead of giving me a chance to explain, he started yelling and dumped me.”
She looked at Marcus who was staring back with sympathy. He pulled her into a hug, patting her back soothingly.
“Oh, Marcus. I think he was the one.”
“If you burst into tears, Jane, I’m going to slap you silly!”
She pulled back.
“What? I’m the wronged party!”
“But weren’t you keeping things from him?”
“Well, yes. But not the way he thought.”
“So explain to him.”
“He won’t listen. You saw him walk away!”
“Sounds to me like he was hurt and lashing out.”
Jane looked at her friend. She wanted to argue, but he was right.
“Let him walk away now and he may have walls up so high by morning you’ll never be able to get past them.”
“Damn you, Marcus. Stop being so insightful. So tell me, what do I do?”
“Make him listen to what you have to say!”
“And just how do I do that?”
“Wait right here while I get my package. I have a feeling you need it more than I do.”
Ben drove into the underground garage of his condo and parked. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, alone in his car, replaying his encounter with Jane. It could have been minutes or hours. She’d seemed surprised and hurt, but she hadn’t denied she’d written a BDSM book. She’d asked for a chance to explain, but he had refused. Hell, he had practically assaulted her.
Whatever she wanted to say, it was too late now. He could still see the hurt in her eyes, the look of betrayal. Maybe she did have a good explanation, but he would never find out what it was. He had destroyed any chance they had to get past this. Fuck it. He should never have let her get close to him. Love only brought pain and regret.
He got out of his car and headed to the elevator, his feet dragging. His burst of energy had faded and he felt worse than ever. He tried to tell himself that it was the lack of sleep, but he had gotten almost six hours before Julie woke him and told him the truth about Jane.
The truth. Was it the truth? Hell, he couldn’t think straight. Even with the six hours he’d gotten this morning, he’d only had thirty hours sleep over the course of a week. But that was just an excuse. He’d been hurt by what Julie had told him and he’d lashed out at Jane.
He should have waited until their breakfast date tomorrow and asked her calmly and coolly about what Julie had told him. Maybe there was an explanation. There had to be an explanation, dammit. He had only known Jane for just over two months, but he considered himself a good judge of character.
He got off the elevator and let himself into his apartment. Damn, he wasn’t thinking straight. He hadn’t even bothered to lock the door when he left. Whatever.
He entered his apartment and tried to slam the door behind him. The sound would have been very satisfying, but the damned condo corporation had installed some sort of device that ensured the door closed slowly and softly so as not to disturb the neighbors.
Fuck it! Nothing today had gone right since he�
�d come home this morning. He tossed his keys on the counter and headed for the bedroom without bothering to wait for the door to close. He’d lock it later. He just wanted to go back to bed, and maybe when he woke up in the morning, he’d figure out how to fix his fucked up life.
He walked into the bedroom shedding his shoes and shirt as he went. Then he paused. Something wasn’t right. It took him a moment to realize that his bed wasn’t empty. Some cop he was. There was a woman in his bed, but not the woman he wanted to see.
“Julie, what the hell…”
Before she could say anything, there was the sound of someone pounding on his front door and an angry female voice.
“Let me in! Dammit, Ben.” He stepped back into the hallway in time to see the door open. Damn. He should have locked it behind him. As happy as he was to see Jane, now was not the time.
He glanced back into his bedroom. Now was definitely not the time.
Julie was still there, in his bed. She sat up letting the covers fall away. She was naked. And, of course, Jane was now striding toward him like an avenging Valkyrie. Damn, she looked hot.
“Hey, Jane. I’m, uh, glad to see you. Look, I know I was a jerk, but maybe we can talk? I’ll take you out for a late supper… We can talk…”
He was slowly closing the bedroom door as he spoke, but Jane swept past him and flung it open.
He closed his eyes. This was not going to be good.
“You, Ben!”
“Yes, Jane.”
“Dining room. Now.”
“I can explain!”
“Did I ask for an explanation?”
“No…” Fuck. What was happening?
“Then go into the dining room. Sit in one of those extremely uncomfortable hard backed chairs, one of the end ones with the arms, and wait for me.”
Ben looked over Jane’s shoulder at Julie and then back at Jane. She might be a submissive in the bedroom, but right now, she was all Domme. He fled.
A few minutes later, Julie came rushing down the hallway. She was wearing pants and a top, but she carried everything else including her shoes and lingerie. She didn’t even glance at him as she rushed out of the apartment.
He expected Jane to follow soon after, but the hallway remained empty. He thought about going and looking for her. There were only so many places she could be in his small condo, but she’d told him to take a seat and stay there, and he didn’t want to make her even madder than she was.
He looked down at his watch. A full five minutes later, he finally heard footsteps approaching. He looked up and saw Jane. His Jane. She was walking slowly toward him wearing only her bra and panties, but it was what was in her hand that caused his eyes to widen.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Don’t even think of moving!”
“No, ma’am!”
Jane suppressed a grin as she used the Velcro cuffs Marcus had provided to bind Ben’s wrists to the chair. The cuffs were padded and pink, and he wouldn’t be able to get out of them before she was ready to let him out unless he broke the arms of the chair.
She looked at the cuffs and smiled. Dear Marcus. She’d buy him and Todd a super-deluxe set as a thank you.
She held up a pink ball with black straps where Ben could see it. “Now you will let me speak first or you’ll be wearing this while I tell you what I have to say. Understand?”
He nodded.
“First of all, you were right. I should have told you about my book. Amanda knew, of course, along with all the members of the Kinky Book Club. And Amanda was the one who introduced me to Master Gabriel.”
“You know Gabe?”
She glared before continuing. “Yes, I do. I wouldn’t have joined the club with a hidden agenda. I asked for permission and also offered to let Gabriel or the person of his choosing vet the book before I sent it in to my publisher. I wanted to be sure that I portrayed BDSM authentically and with respect.
“As for the training arrangement, it was that I would attend the first training session for research purposes.”
“But Jane…”
Ben’s trailed off. He wasn’t supposed to talk, but he had to know.
“Yes?”
“You came back the next session.”
“Yes I did. Master Gabriel said I could if I found I was genuinely interested in learning more about the lifestyle. I was only allowed to come back if I really wanted submissive training, and I did, but only with one Dom. You saw my revised checklist, Ben. That was you for. Only you.”
Ben felt like the sun had come out and was shining down on him. Then he remembered. “But what about Julie? I know she was naked in my bed, but that wasn’t my fault. I don’t know how she got in, but I never invited her. In fact, I threw her out this morning when she showed up saying all those things about you.”
“Things you nevertheless believed.” Jane’s tone was flat giving away none of her feelings.
“Not right away, but she had all these details like the fact that your character was named after me.”
Jane snorted with laughter. “Coincidence. I can show you early drafts written before we met. My hero’s name has always been Brad Coogan. In fact, he first appears as a bit character in book one of my series, which was published six months ago. In book two, he had a larger role. Now he’s the lead in his own book. Ben, I invented Brad Coogan, cop and BDSM Dominant almost a year before we met.”
Ben felt himself sagging back in the chair… or sagging back as far as this hard backed, extremely uncomfortable chair would let him.
“The new series, on the other hand, was an idea my publisher put forward. BDSM is really hot right now, and she loved Arresting Love. But I haven’t agreed to writing the new series yet. I told her I had to clear it with my Dom first.”
“I really am an idiot, aren’t I?”
“Yes, Ben, you are. But you were also exhausted and not processing clearly. Julie played on your biggest fears and the fact that you were nervous about where our relationship was going.
“As for her appearance in your bedroom…”
“I really didn’t invite her, Jane.”
“I know.”
“How?”
“If you could have seen your face when I walked into your apartment. It wasn’t that of a lover who has been cock-blocked by an ex. You were horrified and embarrassed. It was clear that whatever she was up to, you had no part of it.” Jane grinned wickedly. “In fact, she admitted as much before I tossed her out.”
“She did?”
Ben could feel the hope surging inside of him as Jane nodded.
“Does that mean you’ll take me back?” Ben felt a surge of hope and then found himself holding his breath when she didn’t answer right away.
Jane continued moving, circling him. Ben swiveled his head to follow her movements.
“I’m considering it.” He sagged with relief.
“There are some new rules, though.” She was behind him now and whispered in his ear, “Spread your knees.” When he complied, she continued. “I know you love her kids and you can continue to see them as much as you like. But...” She was back in front of him now holding a small cushion she must have grabbed when she was behind him. She dropped it on the floor in front of him between his feet.
“But?”
She dropped to her knees on the pillow and placed her palms on this spread thighs.
“But you can never see her alone. I’m going to be there to chaperone. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
Jane’s hands were moving now, unfastening his belt and pants, lowering his zipper.
“And you have to pay a forfeit.”
“Forfeit?”
“Yup. I’m in charge today. Lift your butt up,” she ordered.
A moment later, his pants were off, and she was back kneeling between his thighs, his rampant cock standing up straight and hard as if begging for attention.
Jane looked at his cock and then met Ben’s gaze. “Mine, only mine!”
“Yes,
Jane. Yours. All of me is… Ahhh!” His voice cracked as he sucked in his breath abruptly.
Jane had opened her mouth wide and closed it around the head of his cock. Then she sucked. Hard. His response was gratifying, so she did it again. And again. And again.
Then she got to work on the shaft. He was long and hard; there was already a pearly drop of pre-cum seeping from the head. She swiped her tongue along the slit.
He groaned.
She worked her way lower. While she licked his length like a lollypop, she used her left hand to grasp the base of his shaft and her right hand to cup his balls. They were heavy and warm, and when she gave them a light squeeze, even more precum appeared. She squeezed harder.
“Oh, god, Jane. Stop playing with me, and suck me harder.”
“Who’s in charge here, Ben?”
“You are right now, but you have to let me go sooner or later, and when you do, I’m going to spank you ass until you can’t sit for a week before I fuck your brains out!”
“Promises, promises!” she teased, but Jane went back to work. She licked and sucked, and flicked and tormented him, then she put the head of his cock back into her mouth taking him as deeply as she could. Then she formed a ring of suction with her lips, sucking hard as she pulled her head up while her hand on his dick moved in the opposite direction.
She repeated this maneuver again, taking him deeper this time.
Ben couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to move his hips, to wrap his hands in her hair, hold her head still and pump into her mouth.
He jerked his hands up sharply in what he thought was an exercise in futility, but the cuffs immediately disengaged. He was free. Standing, he put his fantasy into practice, entwining her thick brown waves around his hands and tugging until he had her attention.
“Mouth open, hands behind your back!” He could see the sparkle of excitement in her eyes as she complied. And then he couldn’t see or think of anything but how his dick looked and felt as he drove into her mouth once, twice, three times. She relaxed her jaw and took him deep. He was so close to coming, but not this way, not now.
Kinky Book Club Trilogy: Written Submission, unSubmissive and Undercover Submissive Page 9