The Pull of Destiny

by Hotcheri

  “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

  He smiled. “Take care.”

  And he was off, lost in the masses of New Yorkers populating the subway. And I tried to slow my racing heart, glad that I was Luke’s friend. Glad that, for a while, I had forgotten who I actually was and where I would be going tonight. It was Friday, which meant that Nate would arrive home drunk and that was never good. But at least I had forgotten that, when I had been in Luke’s arms.

  ***

  You know you’re in trouble when you’re supposed to be studying for a pretty important Social Science test but all you want to do is finish the sappy romance novel lying temptingly on your pillow.

  I turned a page in my deathly boring text book, snuck yet another longing glance at the novel and let out a sigh.

  It’s the ultimate temptation. You cannot place a novel in my path and expect that I’ll actually be able to concentrate on my schoolwork when all I see every time I look up is an enticing pink cover just waiting for me to open. It’s not fair.

  “Damn,” I muttered to myself, throwing my Socials book to the side and picking up the romance. I shook it. “Are you happy now? If I fail this test and get kicked out of Dalton, it’ll be all on your head.”

  Even though I thought the book would be worth it. Well, not exactly worth being kicked out of the most elite school in New York, but you know what I mean. Shazia had lent it to me after she read it and wouldn’t stop raving about it. When Shazia raved about a book, you knew it was going to be good. And I could use a break.

  It was Saturday and I’d been up since 8am, doing my chores. After that I ran several errands for Aunt Kelly and since then I’d been holed up in my room, studying. It was just before lunch and I really wanted to sneak into the kitchen and make myself a sandwich but with the squabble going on in the living room, I didn’t want to risk it. I could hang on till I left to go to work. That’s in four hours, Celsi.

  “You deserve it,” I said, my voice echoing within the confines of my small room as I lay down on my stomach and opened the book, my chin propped in my hand. Just one chapter and I’ll get back to studying.

  Then again, maybe I wouldn’t. Reading was the best way for me to escape the reality currently happening in our living room. Covering my ears with my pillow wasn’t doing anything to block out the angry voices of Aunt Kelly and Nate, because they kept growing louder as their argument escalated. I didn’t dare show my face outside my room until the furor died down, but I knew it would take a while. Aunt Kelly was truly pissed at Nate because he had showed an utter lack of empathy and pawned Uncle Franklin’s wedding ring for gambling money. His excuse for doing that was ‘dad’s been dead for fifteen years! He’s never gonna wear that ring again, so why would you need it?’

  I kid you not.

  I wasn’t too surprised that Nate would stoop that low, actually. He pawned everything. In fact, in the past 4 years, he had hocked our TV (twice), the CD player, the microwave and the computer monitor. He even pawned my most treasured possession, the blue, engraved locket which had been my mothers. My hand brushed against it now as I turned the page, kicking my legs in the air. Inside the locket was a picture of me and my mom taken a few months before she abandoned me. It was the only thing of hers that I had. Nate had pawned it for ten bucks but it took Aunt Kelly fifty dollars to get it back. Ever since then, I’ve worn it safely around my neck, only taking it off when I had to shower.

  I was just getting into the story (which was a totally clichéd girl-falls-in-love-with-brothers-best-friend tale, but I didn’t mind. I love cliché’s, the cheesier the better) when my cell vibrated loudly on my dresser, bringing me back from the land of make believe with a bang. My heart thumped in my chest as I swung my head from left to right, wondering what the hell that noise was, disoriented for a second. I need to take that damn phone off vibrate! Every time someone called me, I almost had a mini heart attack. Stretching out my arm, I picked up my phone and flipped it open, without bothering to check who was calling. I knew it was Robyn with a dress emergency. When I left her yesterday, she had anxiously been debating over a green halter dress and a floor-length white one.

  Clapping the phone to my ear with one hand, I said, “Rob, if you’re calling to ask me about the dresses again, don’t waste your time. I said I liked the white one on you.”

  There was a millisecond pause and I waited for Robyn to regroup while I continued reading. Jennifer and Brad were in the midst of their first argument and it was a good one. I often wished I had an older brother who had hot friends. Nate was like an older brother to me, and he had the overprotective factor, but he was severely lacking in friends. He had sailed through his 12 years of school making enemies, not friends.

  “CiCi, is that you?” a choked voice asked. My hand, which was rubbing my stomach to try quelling my hunger pains froze in mid-rub. The voice sounded like Luke but- was he crying?

  “Luke? Are you okay?” I asked hesitantly, smoothing the hair back from my forehead.

  “No, I’m not okay! I’m scared, CiCi!” Yup, that’s Luke, alright. “I’ve been up all night, looking up people’s aneurysm stories on the internet.” His voice broke as he continued. “I’m scared I might not make it!”

  I sat up, chewing on a hang nail as I racked my brain to think of something comforting to say to him. I had thought he’d taken the news of his illness very well, but apparently that had just been for show and he was still struggling to come to terms with it. I felt like crying for him. What was he going through?

  You have to be a friend, Celsi.

  “Luke, listen to me. Nothing’s going to happen to you. You have access to the best healthcare in New York and you have a great doctor! Just calm down and listen to me, okay?”

  A stifled sob made my heart constrict. This was bad. “I’m trying, but I’m just so scared!”

  “It’s okay to be scared, Luke, I would be scared too!” Try terrified, actually, but I was supposed to be helping him, not making him feel worse. “But just remember you have friends and a family that cares for you. Your dad wouldn’t want anything to happen to-.”

  There was a muffled snort at the other end of the line and I stopped talking, confused. That didn’t sound like someone was crying at all. It sounded like laughter.

  What the hell?

  “I seriously beg to differ on the dad thing. I know for a fact that the old man doesn’t care about what happens to me,” Luke said in his normal voice.

  My mouth hung open in slack jawed shock. I couldn’t believe it. Had Luke been acting all that time?

  “Was that supposed to be a joke?” I breathed, incredulity tingeing my voice.

  Luke laughed. “That depends. Did you fall for it?” Without waiting for an answer, he continued, a self-satisfied tone in his voice. “Yeah, you fell for it. You really thought I was crying, didn’t you?”

  Defensively, I answered, “Well, I wasn’t given much of a chance to think! I just reacted on impulse!” Bitterly, I added, “I didn’t think that was the kind of thing you would joke about.”

  I felt so dense. Caught in a Luke Astor lie once again. Was this ever gonna end? Uh, probably not, Celsi. Get used to it.

  Luke chuckled sexily and I buried my face in my pillow, cursing my overeager hormones. “You sounded really concerned,” he pointed out.

  “Yeah, because I thought that you were upset!”

  “Don’t worry. I love that you were concerned. At least I know that if I really get jacked up, you’ll be there to talk me down.”

  My heart skipped a beat. He loved that I was concerned! Then I realized that I ought to at least pretend to show some indignation for his mischievous trick.

  “I just don’t like it when grown men cry,” I replied tartly, punching a triumphant fist in the air.

  “Ouch, you got me,” Luke laughed.

  I twisted a lock of hair around my finger. “Just to make sure, you’re not really having a crisis, are you?”

  “Nope, not that I know o
ff,” Luke replied breezily. “Trust me, if I have a crisis, you’ll know. You’ll be the first person I call.”

  “That was a pretty jerky thing to do,” I mumbled into the phone. He had got me fair and square, though.

  “I’m sorry,” he laughed, not sounding apologetic at all. I let it slide. “You gotta admit though, it was pretty funny.”

  “A little,” I conceded, a smile curving my lips.

  “So. It’s a Saturday. What you up to?” Luke said, changing the subject as only he could.

  “I’m-,” I started, looking at the romance that I had discarded the instant Luke had started in on his act. No way was I telling him that I was reading a soppy cliché book! “I’m studying for a Social Science test.”

  “Dude, I hope we’re not in the same Socials class because if we are, I’m flunking that test. I haven’t picked up a school book since I got my medical tests back.”

  He sounded quite pleased with this, like it was some kind of achievement. Lifestyles of the rich and the famous. I guess he could afford to coast through school, he was already set for life. But I preferred to work for what I got because it was that much sweeter.

  “With the life you lead, I’m not surprised,” I said, just loud enough for him to hear.

  “I don’t live crazy anymore,” he protested, laughter in his voice. “Wanna know what I’m doing right this second?”

  “What?” I asked warily, hoping he wasn’t going to say something stupid like ‘sitting on the toilet’.

  “I’m in the playroom, drinking tea with Faith- my little sister.”

  “And eating crumpets!” I heard a small voice say faintly.

  “And eating crumpets,” Luke added agreeably. “Fast life- not so much.”

  I giggled. “You’re having a tea party with your little sister? Aw, that’s so cute!”

  “Yeah, but these chairs are murder. It’s pretty much like I’m sitting on the floor,” he complained. I smiled to myself. What I wouldn’t give to see Luke sitting in one of those pre-school chairs, drinking tea with Faith. Classic. “So how’re your video game skills?”

  The rapid change of subject threw me, but just a little, which meant I was getting used to them. Sort of. I shrugged. “Um, okay, I guess. Why?”

  “Great! I’m on the last level in Halo 4 but I need a second pair of hands to help me out.”

  Say what?

  “You want me to come over and help you beat Halo 4?” I asked slowly, thinking that I had misunderstood him.

  His simple, “Yeah,” reply assured me that I had not, in fact, misunderstood him.

  “Do the words ‘I’m studying’ mean nothing to you?” I joked, casting a longing look at the novel. I really needed to know what Jennifer was going to do to Brad next.

  “Take a break and come help out a friend,” Luke said calmly. “Socials isn’t that hard. All you gotta do is pop over here for an hour, help me out, and then you can go home.’

  Easier said than done. I really wanted to read the book and just lose myself in its fairytale ending. So I decided to be as obtuse as I could.

  “Pop over on what?” I asked. “I don’t have a limo and driver at my disposal, you know.”

  Immediately, Luke said, “I’ll send my car over. I would come get you myself but I’m not really- presentable right now. Faith was giving me a manicure and she got nail varnish all over my face, for some odd reason.”

  I laughed at that but still debated on whether to go to Luke’s place or not. “I don’t know....” I said.

  “You want me to beg? Coz I will! Please CiCi, come over, I need your company! Faith has to take a nap and all my friends are in The Hamptons for the weekend! You’re the only friend I have in NYC right now! Besides,” he said, his voice suddenly turning crafty, “it’s on my list.”

  I scratched my head, a puzzled look on my face. “What’s on your list? Make Celsi fail Socials?”

  “No, silly,” Luke said patiently. “Beat a video game. It’s on my list. And you said you’d help me with my list, so I’m asking you to help.”

  “I have to work today, though,” I said, suddenly remembering.

  “I’m starting to think you’re trying to blow me off and that’s not cool.” Luke let out a resigned breath. “What time?”

  “I’m not blowing you off,” I protested. “My shift starts at 4.”

  “CiCi. It’s like- its noon, for God’s sakes! If you don’t wanna hang out with me, that’s cool. But you can just tell me instead of making excuses.”

  To my surprise, he actually sounded upset. Because I was blowing him off?

  I shook my head, even though I knew he couldn’t see me through the phone. “No, I do wanna hang out with you, but...”

  My voice trailed off as I thought of Nate, who was the real reason I was hedging. If I tried to leave, he might corner me and ask where I was going, what time I would be back and who I would be with. Sometimes he even tagged along with me, just to make sure that I was going where I said I was going and not to ‘meet boys’, as he put it. Somebody forgets that I’m 17. His excuse for his over protectiveness was that he didn’t want me following in my mother’s footsteps but I knew that he just liked being a tyrant.

  “I have cookies.”

  And just like that, I was sold. Celsiana Sawyer, you are a cookie whore. Guilty.

  “The chewy coconut ones?” I asked, my mouth already watering as my stomach rumbled. By hook or by crook, I was getting myself some of those today.

  I could tell Luke was grinning as he answered. “Yeah. And when it’s time for you to go to work, I’ll drop you off so no worries about that. I promise. Please?”

  I smiled happily. It was so nice to know that Luke wanted me around. Not Joanna, not Wendy, but me. A girl he barely knew. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than somebody you’ve known your whole life. That’s what I thought, anyway and apparently, Luke was figuring it out for himself. Joanna and Wendy are in The Hamptons, stupid! Shut. Up. Mind.

  “Okay, fine,” I said, injecting a grudging note in my voice. It was best not to sound too eager. Even though I could practically taste the Caramel Delights on my tongue.

  “Awesome! I owe you for this one,” Luke said enthusiastically and I nodded to myself. You sure do, mister. “So, should I send the car over to pick you up?”

  “No, it’s sunny out. I’ll walk.”

  What would Nate do if he saw me get into a limo?

  “Yeah? You sure?”

  “Yeah, I’ll see you in 15 minutes,” I assured him.

  “I’ll be waiting. Bye!”

  I hung up and got to my feet, stretching lazily as I slipped my feet into a pair of flip flops. It was a truly sunny spring day and I decided to go with the outfit I was already wearing, a pair of shorts and a short sleeved top.

  This was stupid of me, messing up my routine just because Luke Astor said so. Was I going to run every time he called? The annoying thing was, he always asked so adorably and I couldn’t say no.

  Also, I needed to get away from the apartment for a while. I was just so tired of Aunt Kelly and Nate’s constant arguing. Right now it was all quiet, but they would restart. They always did. I felt a short burst of anger towards Nate. Aunt Kelly worked her butt off for us. She had two jobs, made just enough money to keep food on our table, clothes on our backs and pay for part of my tuition. Yet on the one day she had to rest, Nate would always try his best to antagonize her. Sometimes he acted more like a 6 year old than a 26 year old.

  Picking up my bag, I gave myself a cursory glance in the small mirror perched on my wall and I was good to go. I listened at the door for a second. Not a sound.

  Maybe Nate’s gone to nurse his hangover in his room.

  Hoping that that was the case, I opened the door to my room and tiptoed out into the hall. If Aunt Kelly was asleep, I didn’t want to wake her.

  Just as I was creeping towards the front door, Nate turned into the hall from the kitchen, his eyes bloodshot and his shirt wri
nkled. He gave me a head-to-toe look.

  “Where the hell you going?” he asked sharply, taking a step towards me. Involuntarily, I took a step back. Nate was always so unpredictable when he was sobering up from a bender. And judging from his appearance, last night had been a doozy. It was always wise to stay far away from him when he was hung-over.

  My mouth suddenly dry from fear, I managed to say, “I’m going to the library to study. Then after that I’m going to work.”

  He can tell you’re lying!

  “Why you can’t study in your own room?” he wanted to know.

  “I don’t have the right books,” I said, clenching and unclenching my hands nervously.

  Nate gave me a scornful look. “You think you’re above us all, doncha?” he sneered. “‘I don’t have the right books!’ Just coz you go to a private school doesn’t mean you don’t live in the ghetto, kiddo. You ain’t never gonna make it out of here, so quit acting like you so special.”

  I gulped, tears springing to my eyes at his hurtful words. “I never said I was better than anyone,” I started.

  “My momma works her ass off so you can get the education she thinks you deserve. I don’t know why, you’re just a crack teen’s baby,” Nate continued, each word he spoke hitting me hard. The sad thing was that he was right. I was just a crack teen’s baby. And he wouldn’t let me forget that. “But she obviously sees something in you that I don’t. So if you’re going to meet boys, you can just head right back into your room.”

  He smirked at me, truly enjoying making me feel terrible.

  “I’m not going to meet boys,” I lied, my voice wobbling.

  He shook his head. “I see you going the same way as your mom,” he said, giving me a disgusted look as he scratched his hair. “Let me hold thirty bucks.”

  “I don’t have money, Nate. I haven’t gotten paid yet.”

  Even though Nate had a job, he always took a certain sadistic pleasure in taking money from me.