The Pull of Destiny

by Hotcheri

  Luke cut me off by pressing a finger firmly against my lips. I shivered involuntarily, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. What was he doing? He leaned in closer to me, slowly licked his lips and said, “Okay, point taken. You’ve convinced me. Let’s go do this before I chicken out.” Removing his finger like an afterthought, he grinned at me. “I finally found an effective way to shut you up.”

  I let out a quavering breath, my legs feeling wobbly. I didn’t get it. Obviously Luke had figured out that I had a tiny crush on him- he couldn’t be that stupid and oblivious. Could he? If he wasn’t stupid, why did he insist on doing things that he knew would unnerve me? Was he just sadistic like that? Yes. Probably.

  Without saying another word (he really did find an effective way to silence me) I led the way into the donation center.

  A happy nurse met us and after asking us a few preliminary screening questions, made us fill out some forms and show her our ID. As soon as that was done, she led us to side by side beds in another room. I lay down on one bed, a slightly pale Luke on the other.

  “Make yourselves comfortable. I’ll be right back,” the nurse told us and hurried out of the room.

  Luke immediately stretched out his arm, his hand seeking mine. “I swear I’m gonna scream, throw up or both if you don’t hold my hand,” he threatened. Grinning to myself, I slipped my hand in his and he gripped it hard, closing his eyes.

  “It’s gonna be okay, you’ll see,” I reassured him as he stroked my palm with his thumb.

  He’s not trying to turn you on, so stop overanalyzing things.

  Still, it was nice to think he was, however weird that sounds.

  “Talk to me,” he murmured, threading his fingers through mine and squeezing softly.

  “About what?”

  I felt him shrug. “What’s going on in your life? Catch me up on what’s happened to you since the gala. I told you I missed you.”

  My eyebrows rose involuntarily. “No you didn’t,” I exclaimed bluntly.

  A snort of laughter. “Well, I should’ve,” he replied cryptically. “So spill.”

  But the nurse came back at that very moment and started affixing the needles and setting up all the equipment.

  “Relax, guys,” she told us, obviously seeing how hard Luke was biting on his lip as she carefully inserted the needle in his arm. “10 minutes tops. Just breathe.”

  That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him!

  After making sure that everything was okay, the nurse left again and I started watching the bags slowly fill up. Then I decided that wasn’t a very good idea because it was making me feel slightly queasy and I squeezed a silent Luke’s hand, wondering if he was crying. Teehee.

  “You okay?” I asked. He nodded and I racked my brain to find some nonsense chatter to fill in the silence. “Did I tell you that Ahmed caught up with me when I got home after the gala to ask how it was?”

  Luke actually opened an eye at that, looking rather interested even as he avoided looking at the filling bags. “Oh yeah? He gave you the 3rd degree too?”

  Wondering what kind of questions Ahmed had sprung on Luke and what Mr. Erratic himself had answered, I evasively replied, “He just wanted to know if I had fun.”

  Actually, Ahmed had wanted to know every single detail of what had went down between Luke and me at the gala. What he was especially interested in was whether Luke had ‘tried anything’ but I thought it was best not to bring it up since we both agreed it never happened. And because Ahmed is a nosy, but hot jerk.

  “So what did you say? That my dad and his rudeness scared you off?” Luke’s tone seemed nonchalant, but did I detect a bit of worry there?

  “No, I said I had a good time and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again…” My voice trailed off as I realized that might just sound like I was asking for a second date. I wasn’t. Was I? No. I slapped my forehead with my free hand. I’m such a ditz.

  “Did you really have fun or were you just trying to make me feel less guilty about my dad’s douchebagness?”

  I grinned at his made up word, shifting in the bed to look at him. He was staring up at the ceiling, looking pensive.

  Choosing my words carefully, I said, “Under the circumstances, I had a good time.”

  Luke sighed, giving me a sideways look. “Thanks,” he said, almost in a whisper. “My dad- he doesn’t like me that much. And he likes taking his frustrations out on me, especially when my friends are around. I should be used to it, but it still… it gets to me.”

  My eyes were fixated on his sweet, sad face. Whatever had happened between Luke and his dad had obviously hit Luke hard and it showed. He clearly loved his father, but somewhere along the line, one of them had done something so hurtful that it had ruined their relationship.

  “Why does he do that?” I asked, not sure what else I could say that would wipe that look off Luke’s face. I wanted the ‘free’, bad joke cracking Luke back, not this scared of needles sad Luke.

  His answer was simple. “Because he can.”

  I smiled bitterly. “Sounds scarily like Nate.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “You know that Simple Plan song, ‘Perfect’?” Without waiting to hear if I did know it (I do, but that’s totally beside the point) he continued. I let him talk. He sounded like he really needed to. “Me and my dad, it’s exactly like that. I love him but he’s so hard to like. When I was a kid, I wanted to be just like him but now- he’s been pushing me away ever since I was old enough to walk. And he hasn’t really wanted anything to do with me since he divorced my mom. And now I know who he really is and what he’s really like, I can’t look up to him anymore.” His grip on my hand tightened and I squeezed back, my heart constricting as he continued to talk. This was so sad. “I wish he could just see how I’m trying to change. All I want to do is be a better role model for Faith, be the big brother she can look up to before it’s too late. Before- something happens to me.”

  He’s thinking of the aneurysm.

  Blinking back tears at the emotion in Luke’s voice, I said, “I know it doesn’t mean anything coming from me, but I’m proud of you for admitting you know you did wrong and wanting to change.”

  Luke bit his bottom lip as he smiled at me. “Thanks, CiCi. That actually means a lot. And I’m sorry my dad was such a jerk to you.”

  I shrugged casually. “That’s okay. I know not everyone can like me.”

  His expression serious as his eyes raking over my face, Luke murmured, “I like you.”

  “Okay kiddies, how are we doing?”

  The nurse bustled back into the room, her loud chatter saving me from replying to Luke’s admission as she removed the needles, giving us a cotton swab to press on the injection site. I felt heated, and it wasn’t due to the lack of blood. How come every time Luke and I were together, something weird happened? Was I being given some sort of subconscious message, or was I just paranoid?

  After making us sit up for a few minutes to help the lightheaded feeling pass, the nurse led us to the small canteen.

  “Help yourselves to some food and drink lots of juice,” she said. “Once you’re done you can go.” A huge smile. “Thanks for donating, guys!”

  Luke steered me to a table packed with cookies, sandwiches and juice. “Scratch one more item off the list!” he exclaimed, even as I gave him a look of utter disbelief.

  What the hell? Where’d the sad, brooding Luke disappear to so fast? Mr. Jekyll and Doctor Hyde for real.

  Still, I was glad he was back to his own version of normal. When he slipped into those introspective moods it always saddened me. Although my own mother hadn’t wanted me, my aunt had stepped in and taken better care of me than my then 19 year old mother could have done. Luke had everything in his life apart from love, and that was the most important thing. It’s all for love.

  “See? It wasn’t scary at all!” I just had to get a dig in.

  “Are you nuts? I don’t think I got enough nerve
to go through that again. And definitely not alone.” He nudged me, almost making me spill the juice I was pouring into a Styrofoam cup. “Thanks for coming.”

  I smiled up at him. “No problem.” The fascinated expression on his face as he stared at me was slightly disconcerting. He looked entranced, but his lips were twitching as though he was dying to laugh. Do I have something on my face?

  Bending over the refreshments (and surreptitiously rubbing my cheek) I mused “I wonder what’s in these sandwiches?” even as my stomach rumbled with hunger. How unladylike.

  Luke heard my stomach and laughed as he scarfed down a cookie. “Shoulda let me buy you that candy apple. And I’d stick to the cookies, they look…”

  His voice trailed off as I straightened, laughing. The sandwiches don’t look that bad! A bit dry perhaps, but not inedible. Turning to face him, I suddenly realized what had made him stop in the middle of a sentence.

  Wendy was standing in the doorway of the canteen, slack jawed with shock. Beside her stood a tall, greying man who could only be her dad, unless she was cheating on Ahmed with a sugar daddy.

  I wouldn’t be surprised.

  “Luke? Celsi? What the hell are you two doing here- together?”

  Luke’s Point of View

  Dalton School Quad, next day.

  When in doubt, save your own ass first.

  That was the one thing I had learned from my dad. He’s the master at protecting his own hide, especially when he’s the one at fault. And right now, I needed to do that; otherwise I would have no friends. And as shallow and snooty as Wendy, Ahmed and the rest were, they had been my best friends for ages. I’d only known CiCi as a friend for a month or so. It was easy to see where my loyalties lay. I could do this. I could make everything alright, because thanks to Wendy and her big mouth, all my friends were pissed off at me.

  Wendy was on my shit list. After she spotted CiCi and me in the donation center canteen (what are the odds that her doctor dad would choose that day to pick her up from school?) she wouldn’t leave me alone. Even when I assured her that we were just working on a project together, I could tell she didn’t believe me. And by the next day, she had spread the news around my circle of friends and everybody wanted to know why I had been blowing them off to hang with Celsi Sawyer.

  The crappy thing was, they were right. I had been blowing them off to hang with CiCi. They just had the wrong idea about why, but I wasn’t going to tell them the real reason I was hanging with her so much. No way Jose. If these guys knew about my aneurysm, they’d drop me just like that. And since falling back onto the old ‘science project’ explanation wasn’t cutting it, I knew it was up to me to crank the lies up a notch, smooth over this rough patch and practice being a bit more discreet in the future.

  I knew exactly what I had to do. And when I met Wendy, Ahmed, Jake Matthews and Denise Harris on the quad at lunch time, I had my plan of action outlined in my head. Unfortunately, things never go to plan, especially when you’re me.

  Denise saw me first and a derisive smile twisted her lips as she shook back her light brown hair.

  “Oh my God, you actually made it! We all thought you’d totally blow us off to go hang with Celsi Sawyer,” she smirked, taking a sip from her Evian water bottle. Rolling my eyes, I sat down next to her. She was Shane’s cousin, a member of our exclusive clique and as such, one of the bitchiest students at Dalton. We usually got along just fine, which says a lot about me, I guess.

  Wendy glowered at me, her arms wrapped around Ahmed’s neck. “He’s probably here to tell us he can’t come to your birthday dinner tonight, Jake,” she said snidely. “He’s going to save the AIDS orphans in Africa with Celsi Sawyer. For their Science project, you know.”

  Ahmed snickered loudly, clearly enjoying the roasting I was getting. “You know, for a guy who barely shows up to class, you’re really dedicated to this “project” of yours,” he said, making air quotes as he said ‘project’. “Sounds like Celsi must be providing some private entertainment to keep you going back for more.”

  I sighed, clenching my fists in my hoodie pockets. If he said anything about CiCi and sex again, I would straight deck him. And not because I wanted CiCi.

  “If sex is all you think about, you’re probably not getting any,” I told him coolly.

  Denise giggled, glancing at a red-faced Ahmed.

  “What I want to know is how you’re working on a Science project and I’m not. We are in the same Science class, aren’t we?” Jake asked suddenly, tapping a finger against his nose.

  I shot Jake a wintry glare as Wendy and Denise stared, eagerly awaiting my reply. Jake was a huge smartass, always trying to prove me wrong! Dammit, I had completely forgotten he was in my Science class. However, I had a quick answer for that. I’m an Astor. If needed, I can lie at the drop of a hat.

  “Extra credit, buddy. We can’t all be geniuses.”

  For some annoying reason, everyone looked appeased by that, as if it was obvious that I needed extra credit work to make it out of high school. I was glad they believed my lie, but pretty pissed at the same time. Was that how everyone perceived me? It didn’t feel that awesome.

  “Okay, forget that for the moment,” Denise said loudly, wiggling on the hard bench we were sharing. “So you’re working on a project with Celsi. Why’d you bring her to the gala?”

  “Because she’s helping me with my project,” Ahmed said immediately in a sing-song voice. “I swear, the girls got him whipped. She must have the good good.”

  Wendy poked him in the stomach and he let out a yelp of pain. “Shut up about her,” she growled threateningly as Denise giggled harder.

  Jake nodded. “That’s not a valid reason. I’m sure there were plenty other girls more- fitting, shall we say- to be your date. And you had to come up with Celsi Sawyer? I mean, she’s cute, but she’s a nobody!”

  I shrugged casually. “Why’d you think I invited her, dumbass?” This was such a jerky thing to do, but I felt like I had no choice. If these guys knew that CiCi and I were actually friends…they wouldn’t like that at all. “You guys claim to be so smart, figure it out.”

  Wendy’s eyes widened as understanding dawned on her heart shaped face. “You jerk!” She reached around Denise, who flattened herself against me, and punched my shoulder hard. “You took my advice without telling me?”

  Jake looked from me to Wendy, curiosity playing across his sharp features. “What advice?” he wanted to know, as I prepared myself for the performance of a lifetime.

  “I told him to take Celsi to the gala as a mean joke but he was like ‘oh, you’re so evil, Wendy’! But you actually did it?”

  Clearly disbelieving, Denise gave Wendy a rude head to toe look. “You suggested that idea?” she asked.

  Tossing her hair, Wendy said, “Well, Joanna had some input. She wanted Luke to pull a Carrie on Celsi, but he shot that idea down.”

  “Do you expect us to believe you invited Celsi to the gala as a mean joke?” Jake snorted.

  “I didn’t invite her as a joke,” I said scathingly. “I’m not 12 years old! Nope, it was purely political.”

  Ahmed was the first to get it. I could almost feel the cogs turning in his head as his eyes lit up and I grinned to myself. This was just too easy.

  He snapped his fingers. “Pissing off daddy dearest! Luke, you devious son of a bitch!”

  Denise wrinkled her forehead in thought. “I don’t get it.”

  “What does Luke Astor Sr. hate more than anything in the world?” Ahmed asked patiently.

  Obvious question. Denise seemed to think so too, as she pointed directly at me, a teasing grin on her face. “You mean besides Luke Astor Jr.?”

  Ahmed nodded. “Yeah, besides Luke.”

  “People with no money- oh!”

  “It was pure genius, man. Invite Celsi- you knew the grapevine was gonna talk about it. You are the man.” Ahmed clapped slowly and deliberately.

  “Yeah, well, it was a huge mistake, inviting her.
” Carelessly, I shrugged my shoulders. “I mean, she thinks we’re tight now. She’s ben sticking to me like glue ever since I asked her to the gala. God knows how I’m gonna get rid of her.”

  “Doesn’t she realize you’ve just been using her? Girls like that are so dumb. You flirt with her a little bit, act real nice and they’ll do anything for you.” Ahmed sounded like he had experience in that field and I didn’t press him. Keeping a straight face while I spun the lies out was hard enough.

  “So was your dad pissed when he figured out she was broke?” Jake wanted to know.

  I cringed, remembering the tongue lashing I had received the day after the gala.

  “Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again! You knew how important that night was for my image! Why the hell would you bring an unknown as your date? Do you know how many people were talking about that, dumbass?”

  And so on and so forth. Oh, yeah. He was pissed, alright.

  I nodded. “Yeah, he was. She served her purpose. It’s getting rid of her that’s gonna be the problem.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that,” Wendy said, a movement over her shoulder catching her eye. “Little Miss Eavesdropper heard everything.”

  My heart skipped a beat as I slowly turned, willing it to be one of Wendy’s mean jokes.

  Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on my side. CiCi and Robyn stood there, books in their hands. Apparently they had been heading across the quad and something had made them pass right behind us, leaving me screwed. Robyn looked furious, but CiCi- she looked hurt. I could see tears welling up in her hazel eyes and I realized that my star turn as an actor had been too believable, since she had fallen for it too.

  Her fists clenched, Robyn glowered at me. “You jerk! I can’t believe you used my best friend to get back at your dad!”

  I opened my mouth to reply, the look on CiCi’s face needing an explanation, but Wendy beat me to it. “Save your indignation for someone who cares.”