Essence Of The Heart (The Royal Tutor)

by Daris Howard

  Chapter 17

  It Is Started, But There Is A Long Way To Go

  It wasn't even lunch time yet when Jacob headed back to his quarters. He was hoping to find his way back peaceably and lie down for some rest. He found himself already exhausted, and it had only been a half of a day of work. What had tired him out so fast?

  He pondered. He had been up early on watch, but there was more. He realized that much of it had to do with his emotions. From the minute the queen had sprung the assignment on him, his emotions had been mountain high. He had been through anger, frustration, and, finally, to a short level of calm when the princess was trying to learn.

  If relaxation and quiet were what he wanted, it was not what he was about to get. He had no sooner made it into the courtyard before John and Edward saw him and headed over to intercept him.

  John called after him. "Done with school already, Sir?"

  Jacob turned to face them. "She took off."

  Edward wagged his head. "Why am I not surprised?"

  Jacob continued. "We had a deal. If I taught her how to fight, she would stay and listen to the other lessons, but when we finished the first lesson on defense, she insisted it was enough for the day. When I told her we had a deal, she threw a book at me."

  "What did you do after that?" John asked.

  "I told her that a person wasn't much of a princess if she didn't keep her word, but she said it was her birthday, and I should give her the afternoon off as a present."

  "So you did?" Edward queried.

  "I didn't mean to," Jacob replied. "I told her the only present I felt like giving her was a good royal birthday paddling."

  John and Edward looked at each other and gasped, shocked at his nerve. John let out a long whistle. "I'll bet that went over well."

  "She threw another book at me and high-tailed it out of there," Jacob said. "Probably thought I meant it."

  Edward still stood with his mouth wide open. "Did you?"

  "I considered it."

  Jacob told them he was tired and wanted to go lie down. The other two grinned and headed back to their posts. As Jacob lay on his bed, he thought about Marie. The day hadn't gone quite like he had planned, although he wasn't sure what he had planned. He had been determined to keep control of himself, but he hadn't done very well, spouting off that bit about how a princess was more a princess in how she acted than how she lived. But it was true. Prince Alexander had said something similar.

  He was sure that, at that moment, the princess was in telling her mother how horrible he was. He was sure she wouldn't even show up the next day. He expected that, at any moment, someone would come and summon him to the court. Well, if they did, they did, and that would be that, and he would be done. But what if the queen was angry enough to remove him from his position as captain?

  That was a hard thought, and he pushed it from his mind. But in working with the princess, he had hit her. It was in training, as he would have one of his men, but he had hit her, nonetheless. He knew he had probably hit her harder than he needed to, but he was so irritated at her.

  But there were other events and feelings that bothered him. He expected, as he was working with the princess, that she would run away. Well, she did run away when it was time for him to teach her things other than self-defense. But he had expected that the first time he hit her shoulder, she would run off and pout, but she didn't. She was angry, but she stayed. She had a lot of spunk, and he found that not only surprised him, but it pleased him.

  Something else nagged at him, but he couldn't quite put it into words. He wasn't sure he even knew what it was. In some ways he wondered if he was afraid to know. He decided it really didn't matter anyway. He knew she wouldn't be there tomorrow, if he wasn't removed from tutoring by then. He had to go, of course, if he wasn't released from it, but he was sure the princess wouldn't show up. Oh, well. He had done his job.

  -------------------------

  Marie scurried away quickly after throwing the last book at Captain Richins. He had threatened to paddle her, and she wasn't sure he wouldn't. She had never met anyone quite like him. No one else dared speak to her as he had, and no one especially dared hit her, even if it was just on the shoulder in training. No one even dared touch her - no one, not even her ladies-in-waiting. Most princesses would have their ladies-in-waiting help them in and out of their huge gowns, but she didn't even allow them to touch her. She was her own person, and she dressed herself. Besides, she didn't wear those big, obnoxious gowns, and she didn't need their help to put on pants.

  She still couldn't believe he had hit her. No one had hardly touched her since... The memory stuck in her heart and wanted to come out in tears from her eyes. Very few people had touched her since her father died, and definitely, no man had. Her mother had tried to hug her now and then, especially right after his death, and her grandmothers still hugged her at times, but there was something she missed from a man's touch.

  When her father had put his arms around her, there was a safety, a surety that all would be right. She could feel her heart start to yearn and burn, but she wanted no part of it, and pushed the memories from her mind. But she still couldn't put the emotions she was feeling from the day's events either from her mind, or from her heart.

  Her mind said a soldier should not touch her, even in training, and she should go straight to her mother and demand he be removed. But her heart liked it, as if reaching for memories she had long buried with her father.

  She knew that if she told her mother the captain had hit her, she could get him removed from being her tutor, but the funny thing was, she didn't want to. In a way, she wanted to teach the arrogant captain a lesson, yet, strangely, she wanted even more to learn what he had to teach her, and not just in sword fighting.

  The afternoon seemed long. She found herself longing for the next morning. She anticipated the chance to hone her self-defense skills and even more to try to understand the captain - to learn and feel those feelings that were sparking something within her she couldn't quite understand - memories she couldn't quite recall.

  Chapter 18

  Trying To Understanding The Princess

  Jacob was so sure the princess wouldn't be there that he made no effort to hurry. His stomach twisted in a big knot when he opened the door and strode confidently into the library, only to find her waiting impatiently.

  "You're late!"

  Jacob was so taken aback that he couldn't even talk for a moment. He knew he couldn't be more than a minute or two late at most, but here she was, ready to learn. He bowed and took that moment to find his voice. "I'm sorry, Your Highness. It was just that, I, uh... Anyway, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

  "See that it doesn't! If I'm going to be tutored, I don't want you wasting my time."

  Jacob nodded, and thought to himself that this day's beginning surely could have gone better. He was so shocked to see her there that he was having a hard time getting his thoughts together, so he had her practice the things they had done from the day before. She remembered well. He was amazed at how quickly she learned and, when he complimented her, she smiled happily at him. She seemed to double her efforts after that. It made him wonder how often she received compliments.

  By the time they stopped for a break, he was again amazed at how much she had learned. Their break wasn't quite as tense, though they still didn't really have anything to talk about. He continued to wonder what a soldier would talk to a princess about. She didn't say much, but seemed to glance at him a lot, as if she was also wondering what he was thinking, just as he was about her.

  She slurped her tea and munched the rolls, smacking as she ate. He tried not to stare, but it was quite unbelievable that a princess would lack such manners. She caught his glance once and looked down at her rolls and cup of tea, then back at him. He didn't say anything. He just continued to eat his rolls and drink his tea as he normally did. But she continued to watch him as he carefully, politely, ate and drank. Every man in the Royal Guard had
to take a course in etiquette and protocol at the academy. She continued to watch him, making him very self-conscious. She was not eating or drinking her tea, just watching him.

  He tried to smile at her, but he was about to go crazy with her staring at him. Uncharacteristically, she picked up her roll, took a bite, and chewed politely. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Soon their break was over, and they continued her defense lessons.

  Just before lunch time he talked to her about the other things he was supposed to tutor her in. He wondered if she would run away again, but she didn't. She seemed reluctant, but she didn't run away. He wondered where he should start, and decided to ask her. She seemed surprised.

  "Why are you asking me? You're the tutor."

  "I'm sure it is obvious to you, Your Highness, that I did not request this job. I have had no more experience being a tutor than you have being a soldier, so I would appreciate knowing what kind of things interest you."

  "No one has asked me what I want to learn before. They always had their own ideas."

  Jacob smiled. "I can understand that each tutor had ideas of what a princess should learn. There are lots of thing every person should know. But there still must be things that you uniquely have an interest in."

  "Well," she said slowly, "I would kind of like to learn about other countries, especially the New World."

  Jacob was surprised, but pleased. "All right, Your Highness. I don't know everything, but I can teach you what I learned at the Academy. I'm not totally prepared today because I didn't know what you might have an interest in, but I have some books, and I'm sure there are others in this library. Is there any other thing you might have an interest in?"

  "This may sound really stupid, but I have an interest in plants."

  Jacob was slightly surprised, but he kept it to himself. "I don't think there is anything wrong with that."

  "You don't think it strange for a princess to like plants?"

  "I think it is good to have interest in many things. I've got to admit that gardening is not my expertise, but maybe we can learn some things together."

  She nodded vigorously. They looked through the library and found geography books, but only one on plants and insects. Marie looked through it and was disappointed to see that it had nothing on plants from the New World.

  Jacob recalled that Prince Alexander introduced lots of new plants to the kingdom. "Didn't your father like to work with new plants?"

  The princess slammed the book shut. "Let's talk about other countries."

  Jacob realized he had said something wrong. He could see something in her eyes he had never seen before. It was a sadness that made him hurt. Could she still be carrying the burden of her father's death, even from five years ago? He couldn't imagine that could be the case, but her reaction could be nothing else. Unless... He thought of one other thing. Prince Alexander was so gentle and kind, and more than once he had heard people say they wished she was more like her father. Could that have made her hate hearing anything about him? What was going on in her heart and mind? He wished he knew. It is so hard to teach someone when you don't understand them.

  He knew she still had a love for plants, but he was concerned he had just ruined it. He would try again the next day, but he was going to avoid any mention of Prince Alexander.

  They found a modern map on the known world. He shared everything he had learned at the academy. He talked about religion, geography, their trade, and industry. They read everything they could find. He found himself remembering information as they read it, and he could hardly believe he had forgotten so much. He vowed he would try to read up on some of those things later in the evening.

  As they were finishing up for the day, he felt that he should try to teach her a little bit of philosophy. She didn't run away, and she looked at him as he talked to her, but he could see by the glazed look in her eyes that her mind was far away. He had had a teacher once say, "You can tell someone something over and over, but they will only learn it if they want to learn it."

  He and Marie had agreed tutoring would end at around 4:00 in the afternoon, just before tea time. She was expected to share that with her mother. As the time arrived, he gathered some books, but she didn't seem too anxious to go. She walked out of the library with him, and they visited briefly before she turned to leave.

  She smiled. "See you tomorrow."

  He bowed and returned the smile. "Yes, Your Highness."

  He walked down the hall in a daze. He had not expected the day to go as well as it had. It hadn't been a perfect day. She had kicked at him a couple of times during the self-defense lessons, and he had had to block her from hitting him more than once. But he was delighted at how well it did go, especially the afternoon lessons.

  As he arrived at the barracks, there was the regular teasing. The men were all careful what they said, since he was still their commander and could make life miserable for them, but he liked to keep some friendliness in the ranks and allowed some fun. He just smiled and continued to his bed to lie down. He knew it was hard to harass someone when they won't answer, and he didn't plan to help them out.

  He started rereading a book about the English and French colonies in the New World and some in the book of plants, but he kept finding his mind wandering back to the events of that day. There was no doubt that the princess had acted differently. However, the biggest difference was in his feelings about the assignment. He had rather enjoyed discussing things with her. It wasn't much fun when she sat there, her eyes glazed, just listening to him, but when she really was interested, it was fun. Perhaps the biggest thing he realized was that he didn't dread it anymore. He wouldn't say he relished it, but he would say he didn't dread it.

  The next day went even better. Their defense practice went very well in the morning. He started teaching her not only to block, but to strike carefully. They would have to practice the hand movement for quite a while, but she was a fast learner. She would still get frustrated when she made a misstep, allowing him to hit her. He did it gently now - truly just a tap - to help her watch her guard, and most of the time she could control her temper. But once in a while she would get frustrated, kicking at him or trying to hit him.

  When she did that then he would strike her harder. Every now and then she would become really angry and try to strike at him a few more times, and he would continue to defend and attack until she would stop and listen.

  Right after lunch he announced they were going on an excursion. Because of the assassination attempts she was not allowed to go anywhere without a guard, but it worked perfectly because he was just that. She looked at him in surprise when he announced it.

  "Where are we going?"

  "We are going outside to the palace gardens to look at plants," he said.

  There was a surprised look on her face, and she looked like she might refuse, so he continued before she could.

  "As I read the book on plants last night, I realized I know almost nothing in that area. I figured if I were to tutor you, there was no reason I shouldn't have an opportunity to learn as well. You can teach me what you know about them, and I will teach you what I'm reading."

  She slowly, cautiously, nodded, so they were on their way. Jacob knew that Prince Alexander had been the one to start the Royal Gardens, but he knew better than to mention that after the experience from the day before. The servants working there looked at the two of them curiously.

  Jacob carried his book. He studied a plant in his book and then studied one on the ground. "I would have to say this is a pea plant," he announced.

  Marie shook her head and smiled. "This is a bean plant."

  Jacob thumbed through his book. "I can't find anything in here about a bean plant."

  "You won't. It came from the New World."

  "And just how can you tell the difference between a bean plant and a pea plant?"

  Marie pulled something off of it and then walked over to another part of the garden and pulled something off of another plant.
"First, a bean plant has beans on it, and a pea plant has peas."

  Jacob looked at her grinning face and at the amused servants. He swallowed hard. "Uh, right." He looked at her again, and at the whole garden. He knew he didn't have hardly a clue what anything was, though he had read the book half the night. He had big plans to impress her with how well he had prepared, but now he felt like a fool.

  He looked directly into her face and put the book away. "If you know so much about the plants, why don't you teach me?"

  And that was exactly what she did. They walked around the gardens, and she told him how to plant each plant and how it grew. She paused on some things, as if trying to remember, and it would frustrate her when she couldn't. But she remembered most things. He was astonished that she knew all of this. His family had been soldiers for generations, and he knew almost nothing about gardens. How could a princess know so much?

  Jacob found himself learning a lot, and the afternoon went by quickly. Soon they were heading back inside the palace to finish up so Marie could attend her afternoon tea. Jacob was quiet, thinking about what had just taken place.

  Marie turned to him. "Captain, you are unusually quiet."

  "Maybe that's because I feel like such a fool. I read most of that book last night so I could feel somewhat knowledgeable, and I feel like an absolute idiot."

  Marie smiled. "My father said book learning is important, but some of the most important knowledge doesn't come from books."

  Jacob nodded. "He was very wise."

  He realized that she had no sooner said the statement about her father than the smile disappeared from her face, and she acted as if she were going to choke. He was concerned. "Princess, are you all right?"

  She nodded, but her voice was full of emotion. "I just need to hurry to tea."

  She left him there and hurried down the hall. Jacob hoped if he was going to continue to tutor the princess that he would learn to understand her more.