by Daris Howard
Something started to awaken in her - a desire to know more about her parents. Could she be more like her mother than she thought? She searched for those memories, but they were gray and far away. She hadn't let anyone talk to her of her father in years, but now she wanted to know more. She had to know more. And she knew just the place to go. She was going to visit with her grandmothers.
Chapter 22
Being Able To Talk To Each Other
Jacob was sitting in the library trying to read as he waited for Marie. After the episode on the second day, he was never late again. He didn't want a repeat of that. He had been tutoring her for over two months now, and his feelings about the assignment had changed a lot. He found himself looking forward to each day.
His men had long ago quit the teasings. In some ways it had become routine. But with Marie, each day brought something new. He almost thought new and exciting, but there were times it wasn't exciting. She could still be defiant, keeping him on his guard in case she might strike out at him.
The more he thought about the last couple of months, the harder it was to concentrate on his reading. He kept thinking about her and thinking about how they both had changed. He found that she had quit striking at him so much in anger, and now did it more in playfulness. He was even less sure how to respond to her teasings than he was to her attacks. Even simple things befuddled him, such as when they were in the gardens and she put some dirt down his back. He would find himself naturally reaching for some dirt to put down her back, but he would stop himself just in time. She was still the princess, and he needed to act appropriately.
The funny thing was, she would seem disappointed when he didn't respond in kind. It was as if she wanted him to get playful, too. Sometimes he would forget himself and do something like pour some water on her and then act like it was an accident. He was positive she knew better, because she would grin and reciprocate. But he didn't dare do too much.
He would also find himself wanting to give her a friendly spat or a swat on the arm, like he may have his sisters when they were growing up. But his sisters were sisters and not other girls. That would be inappropriate behavior with any girl that wasn't a sister, but especially with a princess. The problem was, at times, he almost forgot she was a girl. With her hair tucked up and her pageboy clothes, it could be hard not to think of her as a boy, unless she tucked in her shirt so her female figure was highlighted. She seldom tucked her shirt in, and he found himself having to constantly remind himself that she was a young woman and to act consistently with their positions.
He wondered why it seemed so natural to want to act playful around her. After contemplating, he realized it was because he was beginning to think of her more and more as a friend, and not just as the princess.
Marie had done well in her training, and he was proud of her. He hoped being proud of her was appropriate. He had trained her and worked hard with her. She had excelled at everything he had asked of her, and he felt it was justifiable to be proud. He knew it was now time to move to the next level. He had brought two medium size rocks and an extra sword, and had them sitting by him on the table.
Marie flew into the room and announced herself as she always did. "I'm here. What's our schedule for today?"
Jacob stood and bowed. He realized he had even been forgetting this protocol at times, but she always seemed to bristle when he did it. "Princess, today we are going to start with the sword."
She couldn't even contain her excitement. She ran to the wall and pulled a sword from the family crest. "I'm ready!"
Jacob laughed and indicated for her to put the sword back. He motioned to the one he had sitting on the table for her. "Patience, Your Highness."
Marie returned the sword and turned back to him. "After two and a half months of practicing with my feet and hands, I am about ready to explode."
Jacob picked up the sword and handed it to her. "There is an old Dutch proverb that says, 'A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.'"
"Are you inferring something?" she asked.
Jacob smiled at her impetuousness. "No, Your Highness. It's just that patience is critical for defending oneself. You must watch for just the right moment. Many a person has lost a fight by attacking too quickly."
Marie sounded disappointed as she tried to calm her exuberance. "All right; show me what I need do."
Jacob had her stand in the sword fighting stance. He then had her hold the sword in front of her, with her other arm back for balance. After he had her positioned, he stood to face her and told her to block his strike. She did, and then he blocked one of hers. After they had each taken a turn, he asked her if she could see any difference. She said she couldn't, so they repeated the routine.
After they each took another turn blocking each other's strike, he had them stop again. "Did you see any difference?"
Marie thought just a moment. "Your block was faster."
"But why?"
Marie couldn't answer, so he suggested they do it again in slow motion. They both blocked the other's strike, but moving much slower. Jacob then had them stop again. "What did you see?"
Marie didn't even have to think about it this time. "I moved my whole arm, and your arm barely moved."
Jacob nodded. "That's right. A flick of the wrist is much faster than a whole arm movement. Now, you watch as I move my wrist and pretend I am defending against an assailant."
Jacob then pretended to be defending against an imaginary assailant, mostly moving his wrist, but once in a while pretending to strike at a second or third opponent, moving his arm. He tried to keep his movement as clean and precise as he could without an actual adversary to defend against.
Marie clapped. "That was good, Captain!"
Jacob felt his face get hot as she praised him, and his tongue would hardly work. "Uh, yeah. Anyway, let's have you practice. You put your sword arm almost straight out in front of you, and I don't want you to move it. Only move your wrist as you block my sword."
Marie smiled at him. "All right."
She held her sword out in front of herself and carefully twisted her wrist to block each of his successive moves. For almost five minutes he struck at her and she parried. She began to tire and moved her entire arm.
He shook his head. "You moved your whole arm."
Marie switched the sword to her other hand and started shaking her sword hand. "My wrist is exhausted."
She dropped into a chair still favoring her wrist. Jacob assured her it would take a while to strengthen it. He should have thought to have her already exercising, but he was about to remedy that. He picked up the two rocks, one in each hand. He told her she could use the rocks to strengthen her wrists. He then curled the rocks up and down. He suggested she do it while they were studying or taking a break between studies.
Marie sighed. "I wish we could just practice sword fighting and forget studying."
Jacob knew that Marie was beginning to enjoy the studies more each day, but he also knew she had looked forward to using swords for so long that she wanted to do nothing else.
He just smiled and spoke kindly. "Today we are studying an important philosophy that I feel you should think about."
Marie picked up the rocks and curled them a couple of times as she spoke. "What is it?"
"It is a saying, 'When a prince's personal conduct is correct, his government is effective without the issuing of orders. If his personal conduct is not correct, he may issue orders, but they will not be followed.'"
Marie set the rocks down after only a couple of repetitions. "What does that mean?"
"That means that when you are queen, you can't tell your people to live one way when you live another. My father used to put it this way. A good commanding officer can't say, 'do as I say and not as I do,' for his example speaks louder than his words."
Marie rolled her eyes. "You think too much."
Jacob became very serious as he thought of his own father. "I want to make a difference in life. A grea
t composer once said, 'A useless life is an early death.'"
"You and your quotes," Marie said. "'Some for renown, on scraps of learning dote. And think they grow immortal as they quote.'"
"By Edward Young," Jacob said.
Marie grinned and hit herself on the forehead teasingly. "Now you've got me doing it."
"Maybe you're learning something after all," Jacob said.
Marie folded her arms and looked at him. "I find those quotes coming to my mind all of the time."
"Good," he replied
"I suppose. But I have a tendency to say them at the most inopportune times, even when I shouldn't say anything at all."
"Like what?" Jacob asked.
"Well, a few nights ago," she replied, "My mother's cousin, the over-stuffed, pompous, Duke Elnard was here. Mother made me eat with them. He started in on me about how I was dressed. I told him that Voltaire said, 'To succeed in the world, it is not enough to be well-mannered; you must also be stupid'."
Jacob had to choke down an outright laugh. "That was a bit backwards, but I suppose in his case it might do. I don't know him."
Marie scowled. "Count your blessings."
As Marie talked, Jacob felt a wave of concern. Apparently Marie noticed. She asked him what was wrong. He breathed a heavy sigh. "With all we've done, I wonder if I am teaching you what your mother wants."
"What about what I want?" Marie asked.
Jacob looked into her eyes. "I would hope I am teaching you what you want, only to the point it is to your benefit. Sometimes, however, as we are going through things we find difficult, it is hard for us to best judge what is to our own benefit."
"Come again?" she said.
"Sometimes what we want is not what is best for us," he replied. "For example, a person might not necessarily choose to face a great challenge, but it is in overcoming our challenges that we become stronger."
Marie rolled her eyes. "I still don't see how those chamber music concerts you drag me to can be any better for me than riding horses, or something like that."
"I didn't say they were better. I just said they would broaden your outlook."
"Wasn't it also Voltaire that said, 'Anything too stupid to be said is sung'?"
Jacob gulped at having his own quotes used against him. He could feel his face getting warm again and his tongue lounging stupidly in his mouth. "Uh, yeah," was all he could muster.
He decided this would be a good time to get back to sword practice. "Are you rested and ready to try some more?"
Marie stood up and brought her sword in front of her. "Quite."
As they continued to practice, Jacob's mind was not so much on the sword fighting as it was on how things had changed. They didn't seem to have any problem talking to each other now. Their break for tea was pleasant as they discussed philosophy and what was going on in the world around them. Marie used very pleasant manners. He could see a change in her every day, and most of it was in things he never even mentioned. He often wondered how much he was really teaching and how much was already part of her. Sometimes he found himself questioning whether she really needed him as a tutor at all.
Chapter 23
Time For A Test And A Change Of Heart
Jacob had been tutoring Marie for over ten months, and they were close friends. They knew each other well enough that they could often tell what the other was thinking, even when no one said anything.
The wall Marie had built up around herself was slowly crumbling, yet there was still much he didn't understand. She had begun talking about her father. It had been going on for months, gradually, but surely. If someone brought up her father as a topic of conversation, she no longer went silent, but seemed somewhere between enjoyment of it and a painful memory.
Though he had noticed a lot of change in her, he had also felt a change in himself. That was the part that was even more frustrating. He, too, was blocking his feelings and didn't dare face them. Something seemed to be beating at him, wanting to be understood, but he was not sure he dared open his heart to its message.
As the time of her Princess Ball neared, and their time together was getting shorter, he almost felt a desperation. He was sure it was caused partially by a concern that he had not accomplished everything with her that he was supposed to. Sometimes that nagging feeling told him there was more, but he had put it quickly from his mind. One thing was sure, he found an apprehension building as that fateful evening drew closer.
He knew that when that day arrived, and his service was no longer expected nor needed, he was going to miss her. She had become such a part of his life - her defiance, her teasings, her arrogant "look at me" nature.
Through the winter they had still taken their walks outside and gone horseback riding as a way to break up the monotony of the lessons. She had seemed to enjoy these times most of all. They would talk of nothing of great importance - just talk. Sometimes she would ask his views on life, and sometimes he would ask hers. He had been amazed at how deeply she truly thought about things.
As spring approached they began going back to the gardens. She had again taken interest in the things there, even more than before. She had insisted on planting some of it herself and watching over it. She planted corn, strawberries, pumpkins, and sunflowers. Jacob knew the first three had been introduced into the kingdom by Prince Alexander, but he had never heard of sunflowers.
When he had asked her about them, she was quiet for a while, and he thought he must have said something wrong. But when she finally spoke, he could hear the emotion in her voice. She smiled weakly at him. "My father and I were testing these the year he died. Luckily, I saved a few seeds, but they are so old I'm not sure they are any good."
The two of them had watched carefully every day to see if the seeds would grow, and then, one day, a small plant had poked its head through the dirt. Marie knew immediately it was a sunflower, and ran and grabbed his arm, pulling him over to see it. Of the twenty-three seeds they had planted, only seven came up. Excitedly Marie had said they would save all of the seeds from these and plant more next year.
She had opened up and talked like never before. She talked about how, when she was young, her father would take her to meet with a man named Gareg who had all sorts of new plants. She said she hadn't been to the market in years and wondered if Gareg was still alive and trading. She hoped he was, and she thought maybe she and Jacob could go to the market this summer together.
As she spoke, that same nagging feeling pulled at his heart again; that feeling that there was something in his heart he was not understanding. Marie didn't seem to notice, but had continued on about the Esconodian Market. Jacob found himself amazed to know that she and her father had been on such good terms with Esconodians. They were recently getting more and more aggressive on the northern frontier, and the kingdom was having more trouble with them all of the time.
He was sure the queen would not approve of Marie going up to that dangerous area. But as he learned from her that the Market was in mid-summer and would be past her birthday and her Princess Ball, he realized his assignment with her would be finished anyway. He realized that if she did go, she would most likely not be escorted by him, but by some young nobleman who would end up being her husband. Jacob knew that if he was invited to go along, it would only be as part of the Royal Guard.
For some reason these thoughts tore at his heart. He struggled with them, and he didn't know why. He knew that was the way it would be, yet he found himself wishing he could be there as her friend and not as just a soldier guard. He had found his emotions doing funny things as he had thought of another man being her escort. No matter how hard he fought to push it from his mind, the feelings in his heart lingered.
They had watched her plants starting to grow and blossom, and as they did, he also watched her do the same. He knew that under those rough pageboy clothes truly was a princess, and it was more evident all of the time as her manners and goodness became much more apparent.
His thoughts we
re brought back to the present as Marie came bouncing into the room full of exuberance and announced her arrival. "I'm ready!"
Jacob smiled at her. This was to be the day they tested her skill. She was dressed in protective clothing for a sword fight competition. She wore the vests, gloves, and all the other protective gear, and she carried her sword in one hand and her helmet under the other arm. Jacob had asked John to come and test a "possible new recruit", feeling it would be a good chance to evaluate her skill. Next to himself, John was the best sword fighter in the Guard.
He didn't divulge to John that he was competing against the princess, not wanting him to hold back. As he and Marie had made plans for this challenge, he had been afraid word would leak out. Marie was so excited he was sure she would accidentally tell someone, but as the morning approached, it seemed their secret was safe. He gave her some last minute instructions and, when they could hear someone approaching, she quickly put her helmet on, concealing her identity.
He whispered to her. "Are you ready?"
"I was born ready! And after months of practice, I'm dying for a chance to thrash somebody."
"Remember, don't let him hear your voice," Jacob said.
John strode into the room, full of confidence. "Is this the possible new recruit, Sir?"
"Yes, John. Put on your mask and touch swords."
John put on his mask, and the two brought their swords to the front and touched the tips. Jacob smiled and winked at Marie. "All right, may the best, uh, person win."
To John's surprise, Marie attacked quickly and drove him back. A new recruit seldom had the confidence to go immediately on the offensive, but usually stuck to defense. Jacob found himself smiling. Marie was no wimp. Even he was surprised at her fast attack.
John soon recovered his composure and turned from defense to offense, pushing her back. Her aggressive nature and desire for offense made her slightly careless, and John tapped her multiple times with the edge of his blade, effectively scoring points against her. This seemed to ignite a fire in her, and she moved quickly, scoring a few points of her own.