by Daris Howard
She looked his direction, but he wasn't there. She scanned the room, finally spotting him kneeling before her mother. What did her mother want with him? She tried to keep him in her sights but it was hard as she swirled around the floor. She would catch small glimpses of him here and there, then off she went. Once, when she looked back, he was gone. Where could he be? She expected he would be standing guard at one of the doors, but he wasn't. She searched everywhere for him; her heart started to panic. She would forget to make conversation with her dance partner and, the more the night wore on, the less she cared.
She knew she didn't want any one of these men anyway. The only man she wanted she could not see. When each dance would end, she would try to work her way back to her mother to ask her about Jacob, but she was always intercepted by another dance partner. She was reaching her pique of anxiety and was sure she would forget herself and kick the next man that asked her, when Lord High Chamberlain finally stepped forward to thank everyone for coming and announced the last dance.
Marie breathed a sigh of relief, as she could now, graciously, refuse all requests. She headed across the floor to where her mother was sitting. As suitors stopped her and asked her to dance, it actually felt good to tell them no. She no longer felt like some prize at an auction; she could do as she desired.
After having refused a half dozen, no more dared approach her, and she made her way quickly to the end of the hall. She caught up to Lord High Chamberlain, who was returning to his place beside her mother.
She stepped in front of him. "Matthew, have you seen Jacob?"
He looked at her quizzically. "Who, Your Highness?"
She knew very well he was aware of who she was talking about, and it puzzled her that he would act that way, but she tried to be polite. "Captain Richins."
Lord High Chamberlain acted nervous as he answered. "Oh. Not for a while, Your Highness."
Sensing something was amiss, she asked him when he had last seen Jacob.
Lord High Chamberlain smiled nervously. "When he was speaking with Her Majesty the Queen, Your Highness."
That was the last time she had seen him as well, but, surely, he had been around after that. She thanked him and hurried to her mother. Her mother was visiting with Duke Elnard, whom Marie totally detested, but tonight she would try to be gracious to all. She tried to wait politely and not interrupt, but the music for the last dance was beginning. Finally, exasperated, she said, "Mother?"
The queen turned. "I'm so glad you came over, Marie." She pointed at Duke Elnard. "You do remember my cousin, Duke Elnard."
Marie nodded and smiled briefly, then turned back to her mother, feeling her exasperation level rising as the music continued on. "Yes, mother, but..."
The queen interrupted her. "We have just been discussing his guardianship over Bernodia and the fact that you will rule there after you are married, since you are now eighteen."
"That's nice, Mother. Have you seen Jacob?"
"Who?"
Marie was sure her mother knew who she meant, but she didn't have time for games. "Captain Richins."
"Not for some time. Why do you want him?"
Marie could sense an air of false innocence, and her anxiety level was rising rapidly again as the music continued on. "It's the last dance!"
The queen raised her eyebrows. "Yes?"
Marie could contain herself no longer. "I saved the last dance for him!" she blurted out.
The queen sat back calmly. "I'm afraid that will be quite impossible."
"Why?"
The queen leaned forward and looked directly at her. "He has left for the frontier."
Marie felt her heart almost choke her as she gasped for breath and anger filled her heart. "You assigned him to the frontier?"
The queen shook her head and answered calmly. "No. He asked to be sent there."
Suddenly, the shock of it took its toll on her, and Marie collapsed onto the step, sure she was going to sob. "But he said he'd always be here for me! Why would he choose to go there?"
Again the queen answered calmly, so calmly that it almost angered Marie. "Think about it, Dear. Why would he?"
Marie couldn't think of anything. She turned to her mother. "Was it because of me?"
The queen ambiguously rolled her head back and forth, not really nodding, but not really shaking it. "Well, yes, I suppose it was."
Marie could feel the tears filling her eyes now. "Did I upset him?"
The queen shook her head. "I would say just the opposite."
Lord High Chamberlain could stand it no longer. "Oh, for cryin' out loud. Just tell her that he is madly in love with her. Why do you women have to make everything so complicated?"
The queen turned to him. "I was getting there, Matthew."
He took a deep breath and tried to quickly regain his composure. "Yes, Your Majesty."
Marie felt confused. "But why would that make him leave?"
The queen looked up at Lord High Chamberlain. "Would you like to continue, Matthew?"
Lord High Chamberlain had an exasperated look on his face, but his voice had a false calmness. "By all means, Your Majesty, you should be the one to explain it."
Marie felt she could take little more of this. "Somebody better explain it and soon!"
The queen turned back to Marie, "You see, Marie, you are the princess; someday you'll be queen. He is a common soldier. By tradition, a common soldier cannot marry a princess."
Marie had known this was tradition, but she had flagrantly disregarded many traditions before. As the music came to an end, and the dance was ended, her anger boiled over. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!"
The queen gasped at her outburst. "Excuse me?"
Marie stood up, yelling at the top of her lungs. She didn't care if anyone heard her or not. She was well aware of the scene she was making and that everyone was staring at her, but she didn't care. "Then let somebody else be queen!"
The queen still remained calm. "You would give up being queen for this man?"
"You can count on it!" Marie ripped the long white gloves from her hands and tossed them to the floor. "You can have the fluffy dresses and the ridiculous pomp! I can't believe I danced all night with so many self-centered, arrogant fools, only to have Jacob walk out on me! I want him back."
The queen smiled. "That's what I wanted to hear."
Marie stopped. "What?"
The queen looked at Duke Elnard, who was scowling his disapproval. She seemed to want to make a point to him at least as much as to Marie. "There is no law that says you can't marry a soldier and still be queen. I think you will make a wonderful queen, and he will make a wonderful husband for you. I will send to the frontier to have him sent back."
Marie turned to leave. "No!"
The queen called after her. "Where are you going?"
Marie hardly slackened her pace as she called back across the hall full of staring people. "Where do you think? I'm going after him and bring him back myself. He's got another thing coming if he thinks he can just go walking out on me like this!"
As Marie disappeared out the door, the queen laughed. "Yay, Marie!"
Lord High Chamberlain raised his eyebrows at her remark, but he chuckled. Duke Elnard simply scowled. He turned to the queen. "I must also excuse myself, for it is a long way home."
"You are not going to stay the night?" the queen asked.
Duke Elnard looked in the direction the princess had gone as he answered. "I'm afraid I have some important business to attend to."
The queen nodded, and Duke Elnard bowed and left the hall. Lord High Chamberlain watched Duke Elnard leave, and he, too, became very serious. He turned to the queen. "With Your Majesty's permission, I will accompany the Royal Guard to escort the princess."
The queen frowned. She could sense something in his tone of voice. "What is it, Matthew?"
He smiled falsely but said, in as reassuring a way as possible. "Oh, nothing. I'd just like to be there when she finds Captain
Richins."
The queen smiled. "So would I. So would I. Yes, you may go."
He bowed and excused himself. The queen knew him well enough to know there was more to it. She shook her head and spoke to herself. "Something is bothering you, Matthew. I wish I knew what it was."
Chapter 30
Going After Jacob
Lord High Chamberlain strode into the clearing in the forest. He could see immediately, by the look on Lieutenant Hashner's face, that something was wrong. "Don't tell me she's gone again!"
Lieutenant Hashner saluted. "I'm sorry, Your Lordship. We no sooner come to a halt, than she's dashing off through the forest to find him."
"Well, get her found!"
Lieutenant Hashner saluted and ordered the men of the Royal Guard to spread out to find the princess.
Matthew could feel the anger and fear building in him. If his hunch was right, the princess was in great danger. He swore to himself that he was going to tie the brash young lady to her horse for her own protection.
They had searched for Jacob along miles and miles of the frontier. They had proceeded far enough north that they were now in Bernodia, along the Esconodian frontier, and his concern for the princess made him tremble. He was leading this contingent and knew he was responsible for her safety. But how does one protect someone that keeps running off?
He did have to admire her unconquerable spirit, however. She didn't seem to fear anything. She had insisted on dressing as a man for the journey, and he was grateful for that. It made her less conspicuous, but nonetheless, she was not easily mistaken for a man.
Her search for Jacob reminded him of a previous trip, when he had been in the contingent that had gone with Louise in search of Alexander. But it wasn't as easy this time. They weren't sure what battalion he had joined. Their search kept leading them farther and farther north, and if his suspicions were right, they were in dangerous territory.
They had asked at each camp about word of new volunteers. They had followed two other leads, but both times it was the wrong man. At the last camp, when they caught word of a new recruit's sword fighting skills, he was sure they were narrowing in on Jacob, but he couldn't shake the feeling that danger lurked behind every tree in this area.
All indications were that the man they were now trying to find was a captain. But why had he asked to man this small outpost alone? This bothered Matthew. Jacob was a very sociable person, and he couldn't figure out why he would want to camp off by himself. Jacob would know it was dangerous. A lone man would be extremely vulnerable to attack.
But Matthew realized that Jacob was so in love with the princess it might be that he almost wished to be killed so he wouldn't have to face seeing her marry someone else. Matthew just hoped they could find Jacob in time to save all of them.
Matthew smelled something. He sniffed carefully. Yes, it was the smell of smoke, probably a campfire. He checked the direction the wind was blowing. He looked at the direction Lieutenant Hashner had taken his men. He had taken them too far east. They needed to turn their direction farther north. Something told him he needed to get them and head to the campfire, and do it quickly. He headed off through the woods in the darkening dusk as fast as he could go. He thought to himself that he was really getting way too old for this.
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Jacob sat alone by the campfire. He was quite a distance from the main camp. He had joined this regiment in the north, inside the borders of Bernodia, for many reasons. He himself was Bernodian. He was not raised there, since his father was in the Royal Guard, but his grandparents lived there, and he had many wonderful memories of Bernodia. He also had the misconception that, by going a great distance away, he could run from his pain.
Nothing could be further from the truth. He could not run away from his heart no matter where he went. He found himself worrying about the princess. Was she safe without him to protect her? Had he made a mistake in leaving her? He tried to tell himself that John and the other Guardsmen would protect her. But he was so far away from her, and his worry for her was driving him crazy.
Being under command of someone else was wearing on him as well. He had to bite his tongue when harassed by those who outranked him. The coarseness of the regular military ate at him, too. For the most part they were well trained, but the profanity and crudeness bothered him. In the palace a man was expected to not only be a good soldier but to present himself with dignity around the nobility. Why did some of these men have to degrade themselves to feel they were good soldiers?
Of course, as in any group of men, one of the first things he had to do was to prove himself, especially as it was known he had been Captain of the Royal Guard. He hadn't been in the company an hour when he was challenged to a sword fight. The challenger may have been a good soldier, but he was no swordsman. Jacob had disarmed him in minutes. There had been challenge after challenge, and Jacob was growing tired of it. They weren't doing it to better their skills, but for bragging rights. One had to watch constantly not to be blindsided by an opponent's friends trying to cheat for him.
On top of all of that, the fact that he was a captain, and not nobility, irked many of his superior officers. They felt only nobility should have rank. He had earned his rank through his skill and hard work; they had theirs bestowed upon them at birth. They felt they were better than he was and tried to degrade him to convince themselves of the truthfulness of that false assumption. Finally, with his blonde hair, it was obvious that he was Bernodian, and most of them, even some of the common soldiers, felt themselves superior to anyone from Bernodia. He had finally sought the solitude of having his own campfire and small camp. When he had requested it, using the excuse that he was volunteering to be a lookout, his superior officer just laughed. "It's your neck."
He knew that it was foolish, but he couldn't stand the taunting anymore, and in some ways, he almost didn't care if he were killed. He would be the first to admit he was homesick, but he could never go back. As hard as it was here, it would be worse to watch what he knew must be going on there. As he added another stick to the fire, he thought of his love for Marie. He could almost imagine her kicking her suitors. He smiled. At least he could relish that thought. Keeping jealousy at bay, he hoped that whomever Marie had chosen would be good to her, understand her, and love her as he did.
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At the main camp they were told of a man who seemed to fit Jacob's description: a captain, with the blonde hair of a Bernodian, who had taken up a camp of his own as a sentinel. No one could remember his name, but Marie was sure it had to be Jacob. Still, she didn't want to get her hopes up too high. Twice, already, they thought they had found him only to find it was the wrong man.
She was discouraged, but she refused to give up. She would find him and she would be the first to do so. She was angry that he had left her. He had promised not to, and yet, first thing he did was up and leave. She knew he would come up with some flimsy excuse about her not needing him, but that's all it was - an excuse. She vacillated about what she would do when she found him. Sometimes she would picture herself running to him and throwing her arms around his neck, yet in the next instant, she wanted to slap him for leading them on this wild chase.
One thing she did know was that he was going to come home or else. She had thought long and hard about the "what else" and had ideas on how she was going to get him home. The farther north they searched, the more foreboding it felt. Lord High Chamberlain kept such a tight watch on her she felt smothered.
The minute they stopped, she had taken off through the woods to find Jacob. She knew Lord High Chamberlain would be frantic, but she wanted to be first to find Jacob, and she was tired of being told what to do. Though he was in charge of this contingency, she chafed under his command.
It wasn't that she didn't like Lord High Chamberlain; it was just that the irritation at not finding Jacob was causing her tension level to rise. As she headed through the woods, she felt to turn
to the left, almost as if she felt something drawing her to him, telling her where he was. Soon she could see a clearing ahead and smell the smoke of a campfire. She felt a tingling as the feeling came over her that he truly was there. She didn't know how she knew; she just knew it was Jacob.
She stopped breathlessly by the edge of the clearing. There, indeed, was Jacob. The evening light shown off of his blonde hair, and she felt her heart jump within her. He was so handsome. He was looking into the fire, quietly, all alone, lost in his own thoughts, seemingly quite forlorn. She had found him at last. She stood there, just enjoying watching him. She heard sounds behind her and, fearing they were men from the Royal Guard who would get to Jacob before she did, she stepped into the clearing and spoke in as loud and angry a voice as she could muster. "Aha!"
Jacob turned with a start at the sound of her voice. Marie relished the shocked look on his face as she continued. "I have finally found you - sitting here, alone by a campfire, feeling sorry for yourself."
Jacob gasped. "Princess!"
She glared at him, though her heart was smiling. "Princess, is it?"
He spoke, the shock evident in his voice. "What are you doing here?"
She glared at him and tried to muster disgust in her expression. "What do you think I'm doing here? I'm here to take you home. We've been to every camp for a hundred miles."
"But I can't go back."
Marie was ready for that. "I thought you'd say that. So I am prepared to stay."
"You can't stay here," Jacob said.
She plopped onto a log by the fire. "You stay, I stay."
Jacob rose to his feet. "Now, look..."
She rose back to her feet and shook her finger at him. "Don't you 'now look' me."
Jacob spoke sternly. "This is no place for a lady."
Marie regarded him solemnly. "At least you are calling me a lady."