She hadn’t done anything wrong, yet she was paying the price for the sins of her father. And as long as she kept quiet about what had happened, there was no reason for Charlie to ever find out and think less of her or her family. “That’s true, I suppose …”
“So, tell me what’s got you so upset.”
She removed her hand from his, looking away, her face burning with embarrassment. “It’s about tonight,” she murmured so softly she couldn’t be sure he heard her.
“Tonight? What about tonight?”
She took in a calming breath, then turned and raised her eyes to his. “About what’s expected of me tonight. About what you’ll do to me. I’ve never done anything like that …”
“You mean that’s what all this is about? You’re nervous about our wedding night?”
She nodded, suddenly feeling foolish.
“I’d really like to kiss you right now,” he said, his voice taking on a gruff tone, “and I do want to make you mine in every way possible, but I’ve never forced a woman yet, and I won’t start now.”
“Thank you.”
Charlie got up and spun around to face her. “When do you think you might be ready?”
“I know you have rights, so if you insist—”
He let out a short laugh. “You think I want to make love to a woman who’s terrified of me?”
“I’m sorry. I do want to be a good wife, but I’d like to get to know you before I’d feel comfortable lying with you.” Her hands were clasped so tightly in her lap that her knuckles were white.
“Okay,” he said. “I understand that. I’ll wait, but I hope you won’t make me wait too long.” He smiled at her. “And as soon as you think I can touch you without you cringing or pushing me away, you let me know. Okay?”
She nodded.
“Until then, I won’t touch you unless I ask first. I promise.”
“Thank you.”
“I would like to kiss you properly right now, though. Would that be all right?”
After the brief brush of his lips against hers in the church, she’d been hoping he’d kiss her again. She was curious to see if the sensations he’d aroused in her would happen again.
“That would be fine,” she said, her lips curving in a smile.
Taking her hands in his, he drew her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist. Lowering his head to hers, he gently grazed her lips.
Strange sensations swirled through her, settling low in her body.
He deepened the kiss, his tongue running along the seam of her lips. Shocked, she jerked away, her eyes wide.
“It’s okay,” he coaxed. “Open your mouth for me.” Again, he kissed her, and she parted her lips as he’d asked her to. His tongue invaded her mouth, swirling, tangling with hers. Fire swept through her veins, and she could do nothing but melt into him.
Her arms snaked around his neck, her fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck, drawing him closer. She couldn’t seem to get close enough.
Finally, he pulled away. His breath came in ragged gasps. “If I don’t leave right now, I might not be able to keep my promise.”
It was best he did leave, then. She nodded, and a few moments later, the door closed behind him.
Rose sank to the side of the bed, her fingers unconsciously going to her lips. They were tingling and her heart was racing. She’d never experienced anything like this before, and the intensity of it frightened her.
As she changed into her nightgown, she relived the kiss over and over again. Kissing Charlie had been … Mercy, she couldn’t even think of a word to describe how exquisite it had made her feel. She smiled and closed her eyes, saying a small prayer that he had enjoyed it as much as she had. And that he’d kiss her again. Soon.
* * *
Rose settled at the desk in the room, lifting her gaze to check the time again on the small clock on the bureau.
Charlie had been gone for almost two hours, and although Rose was exhausted, she hadn’t been able to sleep. Surely he hadn’t left her. Or had he?
Had her hesitation to lie with him changed his mind about their marriage?
No, she assured herself, she wouldn’t allow her thoughts to head in that direction. He was being considerate, that was all. He was giving her time to ready herself for bed and fall asleep before he came back.
With nothing else to do but stare at the walls and worry, she took out a piece of writing paper, a pen and ink and began to write a letter to her friend, Willow, in Pennsylvania.
Dear Willow,
I hope this letter finds you well and settled in your new life in the Amish community. I pray that you no longer feel any responsibility for the fire at the factory, and that your confidence in yourself has returned.
I’m pleased to say that I survived the arduous journey to Colorado and am now a married woman. Charlie (it’s quite informal here) is everything I’d hoped for in a husband. Handsome, kind, and strong yet gentle at the same time.
I am writing this on my wedding night, yet my husband is absent. I am concerned that my fear of intimacy may be an obstacle to a happy marriage. He has agreed to be patient, and I hope in time, my fears will fade.
I miss you all, and so look forward to your letters. Please write back soon.
Friends always,
Rose
Faint footsteps sounded outside the room, growing louder until they passed the room and faded away. Folding the letter, she slipped it into an envelope and put it into her reticule. She’d mail it in the morning before they left town.
With a sigh, she slid into bed and turned the lamp down, willing herself to sleep.
* * *
Charlie leaned on the bar, one foot on the rail as he nursed his second glass of beer. He’d drained the first one in a single gulp, needing to cool himself off after kissing Rose.
He wanted her. Bad. But since she was so inexperienced, he was willing to wait a bit until she was more comfortable.
He was a normal man with a normal man’s needs, and if he was willing to give up taking care of those needs with the soiled doves in the saloons, he needed a wife who wasn’t terrified of him. He’d made a point of mentioning in his ad that he did not want a marriage of convenience, but he had to admit he was a little pleased that she was so innocent. He sure didn’t want a woman who was as familiar with men as he was with women.
And when he’d kissed Rose, she had come around. At first, she’d been so rigid in his arms that he’d thought she might snap. But after a few seconds, she’d become pliable, willing to do whatever he asked. Time, he thought, lifting the glass and taking another long draw. He’d give her time. He only hoped it wouldn’t take too long or else he’d be spending a lot of nights in the ice-cold creek near the ranch house.
The voice from behind him drew him away from his thoughts. “What are you doing here?”
Charlie turned to see Cooper Trelayne, one of his friends, sidling up to the bar beside him.
“Heard you got married today,” he commented.
Charlie nodded. “I did.”
“Then don’t you have something better to do than drink beer by yourself in the saloon?”
Charlie laughed. “I’m just giving her a little space,” he said. “I could ask you the same question. What are you doing here? Figured you’d be upstairs with one of the ladies by this time of night.”
He jerked his head to indicate several men playing poker at a table in the corner of the saloon. “Just relieving some of those men of their money,” he said with a grin, “but I’m heading up there now.” Coop drained his glass as Patsy, one of the latest women to start working in the saloon, sashayed over to him. He bid Charlie goodnight and left with his arm around Patsy’s shoulders.
Charlie picked up his glass and turned to watch the poker game going on, leaning his back against the bar. He knew the players, had played against them more times than he could count. And there was an empty chair at the table.
Three hours later, he got up and walked
out of the saloon, a few dollars richer. The night air was brisk and cool, and the streets were deserted. He was glad. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone else, and as he hurried past the desk in the lobby of the hotel and up the stairs, he hoped Rose would be asleep. If she wasn’t, he wondered what he was going to say to her. Surely she’d wonder where he’d been all this time.
An oil lamp cast a soft glow over the room when he opened the door and stepped inside. Luckily, Rose was sound asleep, her hair a tousled mess against the white pillowcase. He stood for a moment, watching the faint rise and fall of her chest, then quietly made his way to the chair on the other side of the room.
He sat down and tugged off his boots, then set them aside. His pants came next, and then his shirt. He left his undergarments on, even though he usually he slept naked. He didn’t want to wake her, but in case he did, he didn’t want to scare her any more than she already was.
Slowly and carefully, he slipped into bed beside her. Her warmth heated the sheets and her soft breathing filled the silence in the room as he blew out the lamp and settled in to try to sleep, wondering how he’d be able to deal with lying beside her every night if she didn’t give in to him soon.
* * *
A strange noise woke Rose the next morning. Heart hammering, she rolled over to face the source, sucking in a gasp when she realized she wasn’t alone. Then she remembered. She was married, and the noise she’d heard was Charlie’s slow, even breathing.
In sleep, with his features relaxed, he was stunningly handsome. Dark hair curled on his forehead. Long lashes lay against his tanned cheeks, and the beginning of a beard shadowed his chin.
As if he sensed her watching him, Charlie woke. Immediately, he snuggled closer to her, wrapping his arm around her. “May I?”
She nodded, and his lips lowered to hers. He kissed her again, long and deep. When he finally pulled away, he gazed down at her.
She couldn’t hide the smile that lifted her lips. Perhaps kissing was going to be a regular occurrence now. She had to admit she liked that idea.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“I’d love to stay in bed with you all day, but we need to get back to the ranch. There are things I need to take care of.”
Rose couldn’t prevent the twinge of disappointment she felt, even though she knew he had chores to do and a ranch to run. A ranch she couldn’t wait to see.
“Of course,” she said, tucking the sheet up around her neck. “If you don’t mind …”
He chuckled. “Okay. I can take a hint. If it’ll make you feel better to get dressed by yourself, I’ll just get ready and leave you here. I’ll meet you downstairs in the dining room. We’ll get some breakfast then head home.”
She nodded, turning away. She felt the covers shift and the heard the springs creak as he got up. A few minutes later, she heard the click of the door closing behind him.
The floor was cold beneath her bare feet when she climbed out of bed. She washed and quickly slipped into the dress she’d worn the day before.
As she ran a brush through her hair and pinned it back, a soft smile tugged at her lips. He really was very thoughtful, and even though theirs wasn’t a love match, she was sure a husband who was considerate was a blessing.
She would be good wife to him, she promised herself as she made her way down the stairs to the dining room. She knew nothing about running a home, but he seemed to be a reasonable man. Perhaps he wouldn’t be too irritated when he discovered she had no homemaking skills whatsoever.
* * *
Rose entered the dining room, returning Charlie’s smile when he saw her and got up and held out a chair for her. “You didn’t take long,” he said. “I expected to be waiting an hour at least.”
That might have been the case when she was living at home with her parents, but when she’d moved to Lawrence and found employment in the garment factory, she’d had to either learn how to dress in a hurry or lose sleep. Sleep had become more important when she was working twelve-hour days with only one day off each week.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I ordered breakfast for both of us. Eggs, bacon, sausage, and potatoes. Is that all right?”
“Goodness, I can’t eat all that,” she said with a smile.
“Living on a ranch is hard work, so you’ll need to eat.”
She nodded. “That’s true. I miss my parents’ farm and as I said, I want to be your partner.”
A young woman arrived with a tray holding their meals and a pot of coffee. As she set the china on the table, she grinned at Charlie. “You know there are going to be a lot of disappointed single ladies in town now, don’t you?”
“Hush up, MaryJane. You’re going to have my new bride thinking I’m a ladies’ man.”
She giggled, opened her mouth to say something, but then decided against it. “Enjoy your breakfast,” she said, then leaned closer to him and whispered, although her voice was loud enough for Rose to hear every word. “When you’re tired of family life, you know where I am.”
A few moments later, she left.
Rose was amazed that the woman would be so brazen right in front of her. Was what she was saying true? Were there going to be women who were upset that Charlie had married? And if it was true, why hadn’t Charlie married one of them? He’d told her they were only interested in his family’s wealth. Somehow, even with the little she knew about Charlie so far, she couldn’t imagine it.
She picked at the food on her plate, her questions rolling around in her mind. She could ask him, she supposed. But she’d always been taught that it was impolite to pry into business that wasn’t hers, so she decided to wait until he wanted to explain it to her. Still, were all the women like the waitress? Was it normal for women here to proposition men right in front of their wives?
“Are the women here always so forward?” she finally asked once she’d tamped down her feelings.
He shook his head, but she couldn’t help noticing a faint blush under his sun-tinted skin. She’d never seen a man actually blush before, and for some reason, it made him seem even more appealing.
“Don’t pay any attention to her,” he said. “I’ll be honest. I’ve done my share of sowing my wild oats, but I meant what I said in church. I’ve settled down, as of yesterday. I won’t be unfaithful to you.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I hope you believe that.”
She wasn’t sure she did, at least not yet. She’d known several men to who’d forgotten their marriage vows almost as quickly as they’d recited them. She hadn’t really thought about this part of their relationship, but now that he’d mentioned it, she knew she would not tolerate being treated that way.
His promise did help to calm her fears a little, though. Pasting a smile on her face, she drew her hand away and rested both her hands her lap. Relaxing against the back of the chair, she changed the subject to something less personal. “You haven’t told me anything about your ranch, or your family. Do you have brothers and sisters?”
His expression darkened. “Four sisters, all older than me.”
“And your parents?”
“Both alive and well.”
“Where do they live?”
“My sisters are all married and live within a few miles of here. My parents live in the main house on the ranch, but I built my own last year.”
“Oh, how lovely,” she exclaimed. “Please tell me all about it.”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I’m proud of it,” he told her. “The main floor is one room, so that the parlor and the kitchen are all open.”
Rose had never seen a house where the kitchen was open to visitors.
“I built it that way on purpose so that when I got married and had a family, my wife could keep an eye on the children while she’s cooking without them being underfoot and maybe getting hurt.”
More and more, Rose’s new husband impressed her with his thoughtfulness and his attention to details.
“The upstairs has four bedrooms and a necessary.”
“A necessary? Indoors?” Rose couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice.
He laughed. “It doesn’t work yet, at least not the way I want it to, but the room is there. Eventually, you won’t need to go to an outhouse when the snow is blowing and it’s below zero outside.”
Rose’s face heated. That she was discussing such personal details with a man, especially in a public place, was highly improper. But maybe things were different in the west. “I don’t think we should be talking about this ….”
Leaning close, he whispered in her ear. “Now that we’re married, we can talk about anything, personal … or naughty …” He let his voice trail off, then straightened and winked at her.
Rose’s face burned, and her breath caught in her throat. “Oh …”
“But right now, I need to get back to the ranch. This might be a special occasion, but there’s still work to do, and the animals don’t care what day it is. I’ve got a couple of sick cows I want to check on, too.”
“Oh, no.”
“Even though we’ve separated them from the rest of the herd, I want to make sure that whatever’s ailing them isn’t catching.”
“I’m sorry my arrival took you away.”
“Did you know they were going to get sick yesterday?”
“Well … no …”
He grinned. “Then you have nothing to be sorry about.”
He stood up, pulled some bills out of his pocket and placed them on the table.
“When you’re finished with your cows, will you take me to meet your family?” she asked.
Since they lived so close by, there wasn’t any way to avoid meeting his parents. And one thing she’d learned growing up – if something was unpleasant or frightened her, it was always better to get it over with quickly. Meeting Charlie’s parents made her nervous, but as long as she avoided questions about her own family, perhaps they’d get along fine.
“No,” he said sharply.
Rose: Bride of Colorado (American Mail-Order Bride 38) Page 4