Beware the Power of the Dark Side!

by Tom Angleberger

  Yes, good, we figured Luke would get out in time. But what about the Falcon?

  Lando fires the afterburners and the Falcon screams through another tunnel, clipping corners and smashing through anything that looks smash-throughable.

  Yes, yes…we know the Falcon’s fast. But is it faster than the explosion of the largest reactor the galaxy’s ever seen?

  No…it’s not.

  For a moment it looks like they might outrun the explosion. But just as Lando and Nien Nunb see starlight at the end of the tunnel, it catches up with them, consumes them, engulfs them in a white-hot fireball.

  The Death Star has gone supernova. Everything melts or burns or detonates or sometimes all three.

  Well, not quite everything, reader, not quite everything…

  The Millennium Falcon is a very special ship. It’s not just her speed. Solo and Chewie made some special modifications themselves, remember.

  So…

  From out of the firecloud, the Falcon bursts into open space!

  “YAHOOOOOOOO!” shouts Lando.

  “Haha haha hahahaha,” laughs Nien Nunb, consumed by joy.

  It is a joy that will spread and grow as the news goes out: the galaxy is free again.

  IN THE FOREST, not far from the bunker, Han Solo is bandaging the blaster wound on Leia’s shoulder. It’s worse than she admitted earlier, but this will do until a medical droid can take care of it.

  Suddenly, the Ewoks are shouting. Then the strike team is whooping. Then Chewbacca is roaring. And C-3PO is babbling.

  The early evening sky gets bright. Han and Leia shield their eyes and look up.

  High in the sky, the metal moon is silently coming undone.

  Their mission is a success! The whole rebellion is a success!

  But Han doesn’t join in the cheering. He turns to Leia.

  “I’m sure Luke wasn’t on that thing when it blew.”

  “He wasn’t. I can feel it.”

  “You love him, don’t you?” Han asks.

  Leia smiles. “Yes.”

  “All right. I understand. Fine,” says Han. “When he comes back, I won’t get in the way.”

  Leia’s smile widens.

  “Oh. No, it’s not like that at all. He’s my brother.”

  “Oh,” says Han, then pauses to think what this means. And then pauses a little longer to think what it all means. “Oh!”

  And they kiss. And it is such a meaningful kiss, such a passionate kiss, that I’m relieved to say that it is soon interrupted by Wicket hurling himself at them with an ecstatic “Meeeercheeewawaaaa!!!!”

  LUKE LANDS THE SHUTTLE some distance from his friends. Though exhausted, he asks no one’s help in building a funeral pyre for his father. To all the rest of the galaxy, the sight of Vader’s helmet consumed by fire would be cause for rejoicing. Another of the joys of victory.

  But to Luke alone, it is something different.

  No, that is not correct. He is not alone.

  Watching from the edge of the firelight are three who understand. Glowing, flickering, just barely there. But they are there.

  Obi-Wan Kenobi. Yoda. And Anakin.

  All three are at peace now that balance has returned to the Force, and they smile at Luke, pleased to know that, despite the best efforts of the Emperor, the Jedi have returned.

  Each in turn thinks to warn Luke about the future. For each has seen that there is yet much danger ahead for Luke and more darkness to overcome.

  But each in turn decides not to burden Luke with this now. He has earned this peace, this time of balance for the galaxy…let him enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

  Luke sees them, feels their approval and their sense of peace, and now at last he begins to feel the joy that his friends are feeling.

  As the ghosts of the three Jedi fade into the night, Luke turns away from the smoldering remains of the funeral pyre and moves toward the Ewoks’ victory bonfire to join his friends.

  THERE ARE celebrations all across the galaxy. The claws of Palpatine have finally released their grip and free people pour into the streets of Coruscant, the plazas of Naboo, and the corridors of Cloud City.1

  They cheer for the end of a war and the end of the Empire—and some, like Mon Mothma, are already cheering the start of a new Republic.

  But nowhere is the celebration equal to that on the forest moon of Endor, where the joy of freedom is mixed with the exultation of a battle won against impossible odds.

  “Yub nub!” chant the Ewoks, whooping, dancing, drumming, drinking, and feasting.2

  There’s Wicket, who got his wish for adventure. And old Chief Chirpa, who had thought his adventures were behind him.

  There’s Romba, who won justice for his lost village. And Teebo and Paploo and Asha and many more who had flung themselves into an unwinnable battle and won.

  Many Ewoks died and they will be mourned tomorrow and for many, many days after. But tonight the Ewoks burst with the thrill of gaining what they have all fought for:

  “YUB NUB!”

  They repeat this phrase again and again. “Yub nub! Yub nub!” They can’t stop, and why should they? It’s a chant; it’s a song; it’s a prayer of thanks to their golden god, C-3PO.

  C-3PO, in fact, is the only one who knows that it means “freedom,” but he can’t find anyone to tell, except R2, who has been rebooted after his misadventure at the bunker and is chirping and whistling happily.

  All the rebels give a cheer as Lando, Nien Nunb, and Wedge come running in. Han and Chewie rush over to embrace Lando…and ask about the Falcon.

  “Not a scratch,” lies Lando, with a big smile.

  And then Luke arrives at last. Everyone crowds around. There are so many questions. Is Vader really dead? The Emperor, too?

  Yes, yes, but he must find Leia, his sister, the only one who knows or can even begin to understand what has just happened. And soon he does and they embrace, first with relief, then joy, then sadness—the great sadness of their mother and father.

  But the sorrow cannot last long…not with the whole galaxy celebrating, and certainly not with their friends—Ewoks and droids and rebels and a scoundrel and a Wookiee—all calling to them.

  So they turn to join the celebration, such a celebration as was never had before and will never be had again.

  Shall we join them, reader? Yes, let’s dance and laugh and whoop and yell “yub nub” until the sun comes up over the forest.

  Endnotes

  Chapter One: In Which Two Robots Plod through an Endless Desert

  1 C-3PO is a protocol droid, a machine designed for light duty in luxurious surroundings. However, he was made on Tatooine many years ago and was specially modified to withstand the planet’s sand and heat. His companion, R2-D2, is an astromech droid, designed to withstand just about everything.

  2 C-3PO has, in fact, been known to complain too much. But not this time. This time, in fact, he has underestimated the horrors that lie ahead. R2-D2, who knows much, chooses to say little just now.

  Chapter Two: In Which We Meet Jabba

  1 After presenting Jabba with the bill for their services, these armorers became Jabba’s first prisoners and never escaped the thick walls and cruel traps they themselves had devised.

  Chapter Four: In Which a Plan Is Revealed

  1 It’s a very good plot to crush the Rebellion, I’m sorry to say. More on this later…

  Chapter Five: In Which the Droids Are Welcomed into the Palace

  1 Though well paid by Jabba for their services, they still live primitive, simple lives. Nesting together in a filthy pit, they rarely change their stinking garments or wipe the streaming mucus from beneath their snouts, but in every free moment they can be seen polishing their crude armor or sharpening their preposterous battle axes.

  2 Now, Twi’leks are not all vile. In fact, some are considered quite pleasing to look at. But just as an evil life can make a man an ugly man, an exceptionally evil life has made this creature an exceptionally ugly Twi’l
ek—as much a worm as anything else, with teeth and lumps and tentacles protruding from his pasty pale-skinned head in very unpleasant ways.

  Chapter Six: In Which We Meet Jabba and His Guests

  1 In fact, one of Jabba’s bodyguards, the reptilian thug Klaatu, is not only stained in the blood of innocents; his tunic seems to still be wet with it.

  Chapter Eight: In Which the Droids Are Taken to the Dungeons

  1 Originally a peaceful hardworking moisture evaporator mechanic, she has risen to the top of this junk heap thanks to some very nasty reprogramming in a Mos Eisley scrapyard.

  Chapter Nine: In Which Jabba Provides His Guests with Entertainment

  1 There are many in the room who dream of silencing Yowza with a blaster, but Jabba seems to like him and Jabba’s opinion is the only one that matters.

  Chapter Ten: In Which Mighty Chewbacca Is Chained

  1 A thermal detonator is a clever choice for a situation like this. Not only is it a surprisingly powerful bomb for its size, but it can only be turned off by whoever turned it on.

  2 And, reader, I must caution you against judging Lando too harshly even for that betrayal. For, though he did put our heroes in jeopardy, he did so to save an entire city from the crushing grip of Darth Vader.

  Chapter Eleven: In Which Han Solo Wakes

  1 Before the invention of the hyperdrive, some space travelers used carbonite to endure long voyages. But the side effects are brutal. Since a common side effect was death, Solo is lucky to have only exhaustion, weakness, dehydration, dizziness, memory loss, and blindness.

  Chapter Twelve: In Which Leia Is Enslaved

  1 Tipped off by Boba Fett, Jabba had known it wasn’t really Boushh under the helmet. But he had guessed that the imposter was just another lowlife smuggler. A short lowlife smuggler. But to his hideous delight it turned out to be a beautiful woman—just a human, but beautiful nonetheless.

  Chapter Fourteen: In Which Luke Enters Our Story at Last

  1 Luke’s own home—where he had lived with his aunt and uncle, who had raised him—had been destroyed by the Empire years ago. In fact, it was that act of evil that had motivated Luke to give up his boring life as a moisture farmer and begin his adventures with Obi-Wan.

  2 Where Luke had tried—and failed—to rescue Han once before.

  Chapter Seventeen: In Which Jabba Is Angry

  1 Purchasing and keeping one of the most dangerous creatures in the galaxy as a pet is very expensive, but Jabba has always seen it as a valid business expense. It sends an important message to everyone from petty thieves to his fellow Hutt crime lords.

  Chapter Twenty: In Which All Is Chaos

  1 He’s furious at Jabba and his gunners for shooting at the craft while he’s on it, but that’s a score he plans to settle later.

  Chapter Twenty-Two: In Which All Ends with a Bang

  1 Even Rebo’s band members are known to be armed and dangerous, especially Sy Snootles.

  2 Somewhere, deep in his memory banks, R2 remembers a time when he could have fired his rocket thrusters and abandoned ship gracefully. But they haven’t worked in ages and his warranty is long, long expired.

  Chapter Twenty-Four: In Which a Switch Is Flipped

  1 Of course, this is not the same Death Star that obliterated the planet Alderaan with a single shot. Luke and the Rebel Alliance destroyed that…to the Emperor’s great displeasure. No, this is a new and improved one.

  Chapter Twenty-Five: In Which Jerjerrod Hopes Darth Vader Will Look at Some Paperwork

  1 His high grades at the engineering academy got him a job drafting plans for warehouses. His plans for a freight depot on Ord Mantell got him a job designing ships for Corellian Engineering Corporation. His designs for an interstellar trash hauler got him a job with the Empire.

  Chapter Thirty-One: In Which the Emperor Arrives at the Death Star

  1 See? The elevators are indeed a crucial part of the Imperial war machine. Especially since the Emperor’s throne room is located at the top of a tower at the top of the Death Star. Jerjerrod and his workers have had to think of all of this.

  Chapter Thirty-Two: In Which the Rebellion Makes Bold Plans

  1 Without Wedge, Luke wouldn’t have lasted long enough in the Battle of Yavin to be a hero. Now Luke’s pleased to see that Wedge has been promoted to squadron leader.

  Chapter Thirty-Three: In Which Mon Mothma Tries to Talk Sense into the Princess

  1 Bail Organa was, of course, Leia’s adoptive father. Organa, a senator from the planet Alderaan, had always been a trusted ally of the Jedi. So when Padmé died, he and his wife, Queen Breha, agreed to raise Leia and never reveal the secret identity of her real father, Anakin Skywalker. Everyone assumed that she was just another of the many, many children left orphaned by the Clone Wars.

  2 I’d really rather not talk about this if you don’t mind. It’s too painful.

  Chapter Thirty-Four: In Which the Emperor Makes His Own Plans

  1 Although these two men, Sim Aloo and Janus Greejatus, are officially known as advisers, the Emperor uses them more as errand boys. He takes advice from no one.

  Chapter Thirty-Six: In Which the Rebel Plan Begins

  1 A dozen planets were stripped bare just to get the raw materials to make this second Death Star. Even now, other worlds are being plundered to obtain the fuel to power it.

  2 You didn’t think the Bothans worked for free, did you?

  Chapter Thirty-Nine: In Which We Finally Come to a Nice Place

  1 Stormtroopers are real people…or at least they were once. Before they joined or were forced to join the Empire. Now their identities are stripped away and they are known only by their TK numbers: TK-421, for example.

  Chapter Forty: In Which Imperial Biker Scouts Get a Break from the Boredom

  1 Bowcasters are more powerful than standard blaster rifles, but are also much heavier. Most humans would have trouble just hauling one around, let alone holding it level and steady for a precise shot. Wookiees don’t have that trouble, especially not Chewbacca.

  Chapter Forty-Two: In Which We Meet Wicket

  1 Any electronic communication, even if encrypted, would alert the Empire to their presence.

  2 The Ewok civilization has reached that point where they dabble in religion, medicine, art, even politics, but still focus most of their energies on getting enough food every day.

  3 Yuck!

  Chapter Forty-Four: In Which Our Heroes Walk into a Trap within the Trap

  1 Verkle.

  2 Apparently, Chewbacca isn’t too picky about what he eats.

  Chapter Forty-Six: In Which Our Heroes Are Reunited

  1 Ah, that was a mighty battle! Remind me to tell you about it someday!

  Chapter Fifty-One: In Which Luke Confronts Vader

  1 You may recall these monstrous, four-legged metal walkers, and the smaller, two-legged AT-STs, from the Imperial attack on Hoth.

  Chapter Fifty-Two: In Which the Night Passes Slowly on Endor

  1 Again, the original Ewok version is much more moving, and all those who heard it, even Logray, were given hope and resolve.

  Chapter Fifty-Four: In Which Two Droids Trip and Stumble through a Forest

  1 Romba is the “official” guide. Chirpa decreed that Wicket and Paploo were too young to join the main Ewok fighting force, but if he thinks they’re going to just sit around the village all day, he’s crazy.

  Chapter Fifty-Five: In Which Luke Faces the Emperor

  1 The Emperor doesn’t really feel the need to be guarded. He only keeps these guards around to impress visitors. Now that they’ve been seen, they are free to take the service elevator down to their break room and take off their ridiculous helmets until called upon again.

  Chapter Fifty-Six: In Which All Goes as the Emperor Has Planned

  1 Yes, there were deadly robots and killer clones and Order 66 and Inquisitors and all that. But those are just the details. The real heart of the Empire is deceit and betrayal.

  Ch
apter Fifty-Nine: In Which the Falcon Flies into the Nightmare

  1 If we could pause the battle, get out a ruler, and measure just how close the Falcon came to destruction, even Lando would be disturbed by the answer. I fear he has already broken his “not a scratch” promise.

  Chapter Sixty: In Which an Improbable Idea Is Discussed

  1 Perhaps we should stand back, too. It’s going to be messy.

  Chapter Sixty-Two: In Which Our Heroes Are Back in Action

  1 Imperial officers usually don’t get much credit for quick thinking. But you really have to hand it to the one who thought of changing the door code after the trap was sprung. That was clever. Evil, but clever.

  Chapter Sixty-Five: In Which Two Ewoks and a Wookiee Are Too Much for an Imperial Walker

  1 An AT-ST is very, very difficult to control, but Chewbacca has driven and/or stolen just about every kind of vehicle at least once during his long, adventurous life.

  Chapter Sixty-Eight: In Which Han Tries His Idea, and Let’s Hope It Works, Because the Rebels Are Really Running Out of Time

  1 Some of the engineers and technicians had started to get a little nervous as the battle lasted longer than expected.

  Chapter Seventy-One: In Which the Rebels Raid the Death Star

  1 You do have a point about the whole thing being about ready to explode.

  Chapter Seventy-Two: In Which the Whole Thing Explodes

  1 And Jerjerrod has the paperwork to prove it!

  Chapter Seventy-Four: In Which We, Too, Join the Party Before Saying Good-Bye to Our Heroes

  1 And, yes, even in the cantinas of Mos Eisley.

  2 Perhaps, reader, it would be better not to ask where all this fresh meat came from.

  TOM ANGLEBERGER, author of the New York Times best-selling Origami Yoda series, has been a Star Wars fan and collector since 1977. Growing up before the dawn of the VCR, Tom listened to Star Wars again and again on cassette tape. His first action figure was C-3PO and his most recent (very recent) was a sandtrooper. He lives in Virginia with his wife, author and illustrator Cece Bell.