“Thanks,” I said, uneasy. Her excitement for me made me feel uncomfortable. I know I should have been proud—hell, I’d done it. I’d graduated top of my class in the mechanical engineering technology program I’d taken, but I couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread for the future. What now? I had the degree, and I was back in the small town I’d grown up in, hoping that the mechanics garage I’d left to pursue a career would hire me back. It would be like I’d never left.
The only difference between then and now is that I was a little smarter with a degree under my belt. Along with it, a crippling amount of student debt that I had to start paying off before the interest rose.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, I thought bitterly. I’d wanted to better myself. I’d wanted to add something more than “mechanic” to my resume. Mechanics were a dime a dozen, and I wanted to be more than that.
“Well, go get cleaned up,” Becky said, her voice interrupting my thoughts. She eyed the scruffy beard I was sporting and my old, faded and torn blue jeans. “We’re going out for dinner tonight.”
“Still can’t cook, huh?” I joked, earning a glare from my sister.
“Actually, she’s gotten a little better. She still can’t bake though,” Aiden interjected with a toothless grin. “That's how I lost my first tooth—on a cupcake! It was harder than a rock!”
“Aiden!” Becky scolded, folding her arms across her chest as I laughed. “For the record, the dinner plans were already made. Brock asked us to meet him at the Dock in an hour.”
I shook my head, still chuckling over Becky’s bruised ego. “I’ll tag along. Give me a few,” I said, picking up my duffle bag and heading down to the basement.
I’d moved into the basement shortly after Becky brought Aiden home from the hospital. It had been too crowded upstairs, between my mom, Becky and her new baby. Aiden cried a lot and at fifteen, I hadn’t been able to handle it. Moving to the basement gave me more privacy and quiet. I could play music without disturbing Aiden, and I could sleep without his cries disturbing me.
Plus, it was really easy to sneak in and out. There was a door that led to a flight of concrete stairs, which would take me outside without ever having to walk through the kitchen. It was magical, especially when I was a teenager.
Everything was as I left it, aside from a few minor changes. The dirty clothes I’d left in discarded piles around the room were cleared away, the carpet vacuumed and my bedding looked washed and freshly made up. The room smelled cleaner, too.
I dropped my duffle bag on the floor at the end of my bed, my eyes scanning the room. They landed on the mirror above my dresser.
Six years ago, Elle had dragged my ass into the photo booth at the mall to take pictures. When we got back to my place, she slid those photos into the wood that framed my dresser mirror. I approached it, my fingers reaching out to touch it, my eyes lapping it up hungrily.
It was a set of four photo booth snaps. In the first frame, I was scowling. I hadn’t wanted to go in—I’d outright protested about it, insisting that it was lame as fuck. In the second frame, Elle was kissing my cheek and I was repressing a smile, working noticeably harder to keep the scowl in place. In the third frame, she was had a carefree smile on her face and there was devotion her eyes. In that one, I was smiling too. If I remembered correctly, Elle’s hand had slipped into my jeans.
In the final frame, my hand had tangled in her hair and my lips were crushed against hers, a passionate kiss forever frozen in time.
Not pictured was the quickie that followed these photos, thanks to the magic of dead small town malls and mini-skirts.
I closed my eyes, smiling at the memory, my cock stiffening in response. My hands ached to touch her again.
“Hurry up, Braden!” my sister’s voice called out, cruelly interrupting my trip down memory lane.
* * *
Clean shaven, freshly showered, and dressed in clothes that weren’t worn, I was ready to crash my brother’s dinner plans.
I followed Becky in my old, beat up Chevy S10 to The Dock. It was the restaurant that people went to when they wanted to celebrate something in Parry Sound. It was about as fancy as this small town got. It had beautiful exposed wood ceilings, high beams, and plenty of twinkle lights bathing the dining rooms in a soft, romantic glow.
Becky, Aiden and I walked into the restaurant. “We’re supposed to meet people here at six?” Becky asked the hostess, peering around. “Oh, there they are!”
The hostess looked over her shoulder. “Oh yes, the Miller party. Please follow me,” she said, leading the way to the massive table that Brock sat at. Beside him sat Tessa, his girlfriend of four years. The rest of the seats were occupied by Tessa’s father and three older brothers’, her oldest brother’s wife and a little girl that must have been her niece.
Elle Thompson and her mother sat beside Tessa’s dad. My heart skipped a beat when my eyes locked with Elle’s. I swallowed hard, seeing her again—in the flesh—knocked me off kilter. I hadn’t been expecting it. If anything, I’d expected to see Brock and maybe Tessa. Not Tessa's entire family, and especially not Elle.
It felt like all eyes were on me as I approached the table. Tessa’s eyes widened with surprise, and even Brock looked astonished to see me. We came to a stop at the end of the table, where two empty chairs remained. Becky paused, just as caught off guard as I was, and exchanged a look with me.
“Braden! I didn't think you'd be here until next week,” my brother said, standing up and walking over to give me a hug. His hands clapped against my back roughly. He stood back, leaving his hand on my shoulder while he addressed the waitress. “Can we get another chair, please?” he asked. She frowned, but nodded, disappearing to grab another seat.
“Yeah, well. My plans changed.” I answered. “What’s happening? Did you knock Tessa up?” I may have spoken a little too loudly, judging by the look Tessa’s dad was giving both Brock and me. Brock’s fingers dug painfully into my shoulder, but I didn’t react. The sensation of pain drew away from the hollow ache in my chest. I grinned playfully. “Relax, I’m kidding. I know you value your Johnson too much for that.”
“Sit down,” Brock’s jaw was clenched, a sheer sign he was already pissed at me. What are little brother’s for? I dropped into the chair the waitress had brought out for me.
“What’s going on?” Bill Armstrong asked, his brow creased as he looked from Brock to Tessa.
“We were sort of hoping to announce this during desert, but…” Tessa trailed off, sending me a dirty look. She seemed nervous. Brock put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against him. She smiled up at him. “Brock proposed. We’re getting married!”
At first, the table was silent while everyone absorbed this information. Then, Elle’s mom, Sue, clapped with excitement and stood up. “Oh my gosh, honey, I’m so happy for you!” she exclaimed, hugging Tessa and Brock in turn.
“Are you pregnant, Tessa?” Gordon demanded, his tone threatening as he glowered at my brother. I winced, regretting my careless joke moments before.
“No, Gordon,” Tessa frowned, rolling her eyes.
“Just making sure,” Gordon said, cracking his knuckles. The eldest Armstrong brother, Ben, cuffed him on the back of the head.
“Stop being an idiot,” he growled before turning his attention to his sister. “Congratulations! Do you guys have a date in mind?”
“Yes,” Tessa smiled, glancing at Brock again. He squeezed her hand. “We’re thinking this July.”
“This is so exciting!” Ben’s wife, Katie, exclaimed. She was grinning from ear to ear, tears forming in her eyes. The little girl sitting beside her started bouncing in her seat and clapping.
“Can I be the flower girl?” she asked hopefully, her eyes wide.
“Of course you can, Alyssa.” Tessa grinned. She turned to look at Aiden. “And we were hoping you’d be the ring bearer, Aiden.”
Aiden paused as he contemplated Tessa’s request. “I think I could do that f
or you,” he said solemnly, sitting up straighter in his seat.
Bill was silent, watching everyone’s reactions. I didn’t know if he was happy or pissed, because his thick auburn beard hid most of his face.
“Daddy?” Tessa asked, her brow creasing slightly. Elle’s mom nudged him with her arm, motioning with her eyes and a slight tilt of her head to say something. Bill cleared his throat, his eyes moving from Sue’s imploring face to Tessa’s. Tessa was worrying her lip, waiting for him to speak.
“Why the rush, Tessa?” he finally said, leaning back in his chair as if the eight words he’d spoken had taken all of his energy and patience. “You’re only twenty-two. You guys have your whole lives ahead of you.”
“Well, we know that Dad,” Tessa shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “But right now seems like the right time. We wanted to get married before I started vet school,” Tessa answered, the happiness she’d glowed with evaporating at the disapproving tone of her father.
Bill nodded, considering her answer. “I’m glad you’re not throwing away your plans to go to vet school.”
“With all due respect, I’d never let her do that, sir,” Brock told him, his voice carrying an edge to it that made the tension around the table spike. “Tessa’s education is as important to me as it is you. I want her to follow her dreams, but I see no reason why she can’t follow them with me at her side.”
If my heart wasn’t lodged in my throat from simply being in Elle’s presence, I would have clapped. I was proud of my brother for standing his ground. I knew that he wanted Bill’s approval, but Brock wouldn’t lose any sleep over not having it.
“Bill,” Sue warned, arching her eyebrows. The two of them exchanged some kind of unspoken agreement, and Bill’s hard features softened as he turned to address his only daughter.
“Congratulations, sweetie,” he finally said, his voice holding the affection for his only daughter. His eyes landed on Brock again, the penetrating gaze making me thankful I wasn’t in my brother’s shoes. “I trust you’ll make my little girl happy?”
“Of course, sir,” Brock promised solemnly, bringing his arm around Tessa’s shoulders and drawing her closer to him.
With the tense moment between my brother and Tessa’s father over, everyone started to relax a little and the waitress came back to take dinner orders. Once she’d left again, the wedding conversation resumed.
“We’ve sort of already talked about who we want in the wedding party…” Tessa said nervously, glancing at Elle. Elle nodded, silently encouraging her to go on with a beautiful, subtle smile on her lips. “Elle’s going to be my maid of honor, and since my mom isn’t around…I was hoping I could borrow Sue as the mother of the bride.”
“Oh Tessa,” Sue’s eyes instantly welled up with tears, and she brought her hand up to her mouth as if she needed to hold in the emotion Tessa’s request brought. “I’d be honored!” Elle’s eyes were shining as she smiled at her mom and took Sue’s free hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze.
“I was also hoping Katie and Becky would like to be bridesmaids,” Tessa bit her lip, looking back and forth from her sister-in-law to my sister.
Katie nodded and smiled while Becky let out a strange little gasp, as if she was shocked. “Of course! I’d love to, thank you so much Tessa!”
“Braden, I’m hoping you’ll be my best man,” Brock said.
I raised my glass of coke in acceptance, nodding at him with half a smile on my lips. I still couldn’t find my bloody voice, not with Elle’s eyes on me. I was all too aware that it was the first time she’d willingly looked at me since I arrived. What I saw within the depths of her dark brown eyes didn’t give me much hope.
She used to look at me with adoration, but now she looked at me with contempt.
“I want you to be in the wedding party, too Gordon,” Brock added, glancing over to Gordon. “Along with Grady and Travis.”
Something passed between the two of them, a silent conversation. Gordon’s solemn face broke into a huge smile. “Of course man!”
“And Tommy,” Tessa smiled at her other older brother. “Will you do us the honors of being our MC for the night?”
“Are you sure you want to give him that kind of power?” Gordon razzed, shoving Tommy, who was grinning wickedly.
“I’m sure your brother will behave responsibly and not embarrass his sister on her wedding day,” Bill interjected.
Tommy’s face transformed to one of utmost sincerity. “Of course Dad! I wouldn’t dream of embarrassing Tessa.”
The rest of the dinner passed with plenty of wedding conversation and Elle completely ignoring me again. My eyes never left her face—they refused to budge. I was staring, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop. I hadn’t seen her in years, and while she was never far from my mind, I hadn’t realized how deeply I missed her until she was right before me.
She was every bit as captivating as she’d been in high school. Her beautiful chestnut hair hung in thick ringlets down her back. Her blouse made my mouth water. I was dying to talk to her, dying to tell her I was sorry. But she was so far away—and not just because she was sitting across the table, but because she was guarding her heart. She wouldn’t listen to me even if I tried, and that stung. But what did I expect? That I’d see her again and things would go back to the way they were, before I screwed it up?
Dinner was over too soon, and I watched as Elle hugged Tessa goodbye before leaving with her mom. My fingers twitched, itching to touch her. A moment later, I stood up and chugged back the rest of my coke, wishing it’d quench the thirst I had for that girl.
“Well, congratulations you guys. I’m happy for you,” I told them, speaking for the first time since my careless pregnancy comment when I first arrived. I pulled my wallet out and tossed a couple of twenties on the table before turning around and leaving.
Part of me hoped fiercely that Elle would be waiting outside in the parking lot for me, but she wasn’t. I leaned against the cab of my truck, taking a moment to close my eyes in regret while I pulled my pack of smokes out of my pocket and lit one up.
Seeing her again in the flesh brought it all back—how it felt to have her, to hold her in my arms and to kiss her plump lips. If only I hadn’t been so careless with her heart. I was afraid of getting hurt, I was afraid of having her leave me, so I pushed her away and I hurt her. If I had been half as smart as I was now, I would have never done that. I would have taken whatever she wanted to give me. I would have treated her like the goddamn queen she is, and if she did end up leaving…I would have accepted that, because it would have meant that it was what she wanted.
It would have been hard, and it would have hurt a hell of a lot…but I hated myself for causing her pain and I would do anything to go back in time and change that.
“I thought you were graduating Monday?” Brock asked, startling me. My eyes opened, watching warily as he approached me.
“I don’t need to be there to graduate. They’ll mail the diploma,” I answered, my brow creasing with irritation. I hadn’t been here for four consecutive hours yet, and my siblings were already riding me. Brock joined me, leaning up against my truck too. He looked across the parking lot, nodding slightly. “Look, I’m sorry about the knocked up comment. It was dumb.” I added, feeling like a complete asshole.
“I know,” my brother exhaled, sending me a serious look. “Just next time…try to watch what you say around Tessa’s dad. He doesn’t joke around.”
“No kidding,” I shivered, remembering the dark steely look Bill had given me after the words tumbled from my mouth. Bill Armstrong had always intimidated me, even from afar. I was going to have to be careful not to cause any turbulence between my brother and his soon-to-be father-in-law.
“So, what’s your plan? Are you sticking around?”
“For a while,” I answered. “I’m going to go talk to Chuck tomorrow, see if he’s got a position at the garage I could take for the time being.”
“You staying with Becky an
d Aiden?” Brock asked. I nodded in response, and he pursed his lips. “I’m glad you’re home…but…the drinking?”
“Haven’t touched it since I left rehab,” I told him through narrowed eyes. He was thinking about the last time I’d lived with Becky and Aiden, and it pissed me off.
“Good,” he sighed. “I just don’t want to see you go off the rails again. Being back in this town…it could be a trigger for you. Becky doesn’t need any extra stress, and Aiden doesn’t need to see you go through that again.”
My jaw clenched, aggravation rising within my chest. “I won’t cause any problems.”
“What about Elle?” Brock asked, the question coming out of the left field and catching me completely off guard. Her name was a punch in the gut, knocking the proverbial wind out of me.
“What about her?” I demanded.
“Seeing her again can’t be easy. I know you still love her…just don’t try and drown those feelings, alright?”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I growled, pushing off the side of my truck and stomping over to the driver’s side.
It pissed me off that my brother had no faith in me. It was like the last several years were for nothing. I pulled open the old door, but Brock’s hand on my arm stopped me. The guy was still two times bigger than me, even after all the effort I’d put in at the college gym.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that, Braden,” he told me, his gray eyes deep with sincerity. “I’m going to worry about you, you’re my little brother. I want to see you succeed. I don’t want you to torment yourself with the past. That’s the fastest way to fall right back again.”
“I know,” I responded, forcing myself to relax. “Don’t worry about me though, I’ve got this.”
* * *
The next morning, I drove into town and pulled into the almost empty parking lot of Chuck's Garage. Everything seemed the same as it had the day I left. The sign above the garage was maybe the biggest indicator that time had passed. The once-bright red paint had chipped away to a faded rust colour.
Rebel Heart: (Rebel Series Book 2) ((Rebel Series)) Page 3