“Come on Mom, pick up,” she grumbled, hitting end and redialing when her call went unanswered.
“Do you need a lift home?” I offered, keeping my distance from her. I shoved my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t be tempted to touch her. She froze again, slowly turning to glare at me.
“No Braden, I’m fine,” she practically hissed.
I pulled my hands out of my pockets and raised them in surrender. “Easy, I’m just saying. I’m heading home now, and I haven’t been drinking obviously so I can drive you.”
Elle debated, looking down at her phone and back up at me. She knew as well as I did that nobody else was leaving any time soon. “Fine,” she sighed. “Where are you parked?”
I gestured with my head over to the field on our left. The Clayton’s had made a couple of parking lots in their old fields to the left of the barn. They’d left the right fields for their beautiful thoroughbred horses to roam. I led the way to my truck, Elle falling into step beside me.
“Is it hard?” she asked me, looking at me funny.
“Not right now, but I’m sure if you took your top off—“
“That’s not what I meant, Braden,” Elle scowled. “I meant…is it hard for you to be at things like this?”
I didn’t answer for several long minutes. I didn’t want to appear weak to her, and I didn’t want to make her doubt me like my siblings did. “Sometimes,” I said honestly. I left out the part where she offered the biggest, most effective distraction. With her around, my thirst for alcohol all but disappeared. “But I’d like to think I’m strong enough to handle it.”
“You are,” Elle nodded, sincerity in every word. Sometimes, I caught her looking at me the way she used to, when her faith in me was immeasurable. It was the way she looked at me before I broke her trust and her heart. I’d give anything to have her look at me that way all the time, not just when she forgot to put her guard up around me. But the fact that she was able to see me in that light—no matter how fleeting—was enough to keep the hope that bloomed in my chest alive.
We reached my truck and climbed into the cab. I shoved the key into the ignition and turned it, the engine roaring to life. Elle said nothing as I pulled out of my parking spot and drove out of the dirt lot to the driveway.
I could tell she was completely lost in her thoughts because she didn’t say a single thing the entire ten minutes it took to drive to her house. I drove slowly up her long driveway, coming to a complete stop and putting the truck in park. Glancing over at her, I tried to ignore the intense longing I had to reach across the space and touch her.
“Thanks for the ride,” Elle told me, biting on her bottom lip gently. One hand was gripping the door handle while the other fidgeted in her lap. I wondered if she was fighting the same desires I was. From the looks of her body language, she was. I could read Elle like a book—I knew when she wanted something and when she was fighting it. She used to act the same way whenever we had a spat.
“I’ll give you a ride any time you need it,” I smirked, chuckling at the innuendo. Elle’s eyes narrowed at me, but her lips curved up in the smallest smile.
“Goodnight, Braden,” she said on an exhale before climbing out.
Elle
Sunday was the last day of the Stampede, and it was also one of the busiest days. The chili cook-off was one of the stampede’s main events, and my mother always won it. Prior to moving away for college and starting my job, I’d helped her every single year. Not with the cooking of the chili—cooking was not my thing—but with the serving after the judges announced a winner. All of the chili cook-off participants were able to serve bowls of the remaining chili.
I used to volunteer Braden for dish duty, just so we could spend the afternoon together. He always did it without complaint—usually because I made it worth his while afterwards.
This year, Mom seemed determined to make up for all the years I’d missed out on helping her. Not only was I on serving duty, but I knew I’d be on clean-up too. She’d help me of course—but Mom always cooked a ton of chili.
Truthfully, I was thankful that Alex got called back into work the night before. I just didn’t know what to say to him anymore and every second that passed in silence made my skin prickle.
The entire time he’d been here with me, I looked at him and willed myself to feel fireworks and electricity between us. I always came up short. Things with Alex were comfortable; the fireworks and electricity just weren’t there, and every second I unwillingly spent in Braden’s company reaffirmed that. Whether I liked it or not, we had the fireworks and electricity. He made me burn, he made me feel alive, and I was fighting it because that was what I did best.
The lineup seemed never ending, and I ladled scoop after scoop of chili alongside of my mom. I saw so many people that I knew from school and around town, and every single one of them wanted to catch up. I was so exhausted by the time the lineup started dying down that I didn’t even notice Braden approach until he was standing right in front of me.
“Any chili left?” he asked, smirking at me in that way that made me want to both punch him and jump into his arms. I hated the way his hair curled around the black cap he was wearing. I hated the way I wanted to run my fingers through it.
“No,” I said, even though I still had several servings left.
“Oh come on Elle,” Braden pleaded, his hands coming up to clutch at his heart. “You wouldn’t deny a man your mom’s famous chili, would you?”
“I wouldn’t deny a man my mom’s famous chili, but I’d deny a man-child who couldn’t handle the heat,” I responded, my tongue sharper and quicker than my common sense.
“You wound me,” Braden responded, but his eyes were light and the smile on his lips told me otherwise.
“Fine,” I rolled my eyes dramatically. “If I give you the stupid chili, will you leave me alone?”
“Nope,” Braden grinned. “I’ve been instructed to fetch you by Tessa. But I’ll take that chili regardless.”
“Fetch me? For what?”
“We’re going mudding before the bonfire,” Braden informed me, a sly grin on his face. My ears perked up. I hadn’t been mudding in such a long time, since the summer before I started college—when Braden and I were still together.
“I can’t come. I’m helping my mom with the stand,” I said, surprised that I felt disappointed by this. I found that I actually wanted to go, even if Braden was going to be there. We all used to have so much fun together. Everything felt lighter and free back then, and I wanted a taste of that again.
I could feel her eyes on me, watching my reactions. My mother had always been a very intuitive person. Lying to her was virtually impossible. Had she ever outright asked me if Braden snuck into my room at night, she would have known the truth just by taking one look at me.
“Give him the chilli and go,” she said, a bemused smile on her lips as she studied us both. I hadn’t seen her eyes twinkle like that in a while. It felt like ever since Alex had arrived, Mom was paying extra close attention to me. Even though I still hadn’t said anything to her, I could tell by the look in her eyes that she just knew.
“Are you sure, Mom?” I asked, frowning a little. I didn’t want to leave her to handle the clean up by herself.
“I’ve done it myself the last three years and I’ve survived,” Mom pointed out, raising her brows as she smiled at me. She gently squeezed my forearm. “It’ll be fine, Elle. Go blow off some steam.”
“Alright,” I sighed, ladling a scoop of chili into a bowl and passing it to Braden.
Wiping my hands on a towel, I bent underneath the booth to grab my purse. At least I don’t have to change, I thought as I peered down at my outfit and assessed it. I was wearing a pair of shorts and a black tank top that I wasn’t overly attached to anyway. My hair was already pulled up in a messy ponytail and stuffed beneath a Cabela’s baseball cap. It was hotter than hell out, and my skin was coated in a thin layer of moisture already. Besides, mud always washed
off.
By the time I’d gathered my things, Braden had already finished and disposed of his chili and was waiting for me with that irresistible dimpled smile. Instantly, I regretted my decision. An entire afternoon hanging out with my ex-boyfriend, who would undoubtedly take his shirt off at some point because why the hell not? I would have to endure an afternoon of staring at his washboard abs, and that hardly seemed fair.
“Who’s all going to be there?” I demanded, following Braden as he led the way. I could see his 2002 Yamaha Big Bear secured in the bed of his truck ahead.
“Tessa, Brock, Travis, Gordon, Tommy, Ezra, Peter, Grady, Krista, Becky, and Aiden,” Braden replied, his eyes lingering on my lips for a moment.
“Aiden goes now?”
“Yup, he’s seven,” Braden said with a note of pride. “He has his own little ATV. You should see how he rips around on that thing. Brock bought it for him last summer.”
My heart clenched at the picture Braden painted for me. Back when we were together, I spent a lot of time with little Aiden. He had only been four at the time, and he’d been the sweetest kid. He had a huge heart and listened better than most of the adults I’d encountered. It sucked to think about the fact that I had missed three years of his life.
“Are we going to the usual spot?” I asked, needing to fill the silence.
In high school, we would always go to the property that Braden’s family owned. His grandfather had purchased 180 acres of land on a small lake in one of the little hamlets near Parry Sound, and he’d left sixty acres to each grandchild. Braden hadn’t officially owned his chunk of land until his twenty-first birthday, but nobody was going to stop us from mudding there, especially not when we were thirty-five acres away from the roads.
“Yeah,” Braden responded, rolling down the windows as he pulled carefully out of his spot. There were still a lot of people around, so he drove extra cautiously, wary of kids darting out from around vehicles.
He sped up when we hit the highway, and the wind blew the loose strands of my hair around. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warm breeze. In that moment, I was almost at peace.
Twenty-minutes later, Braden was pulling into Brock’s driveway. He backed it up slowly towards the garage, placing his right arm across the back of the seat—dangerously close to touching the nape of my neck.
Brock’s driveway was already jammed with vehicles, and all of the guys were hanging out in front of the open garage, along with Brock’s dog, Hunter. Once Braden put the truck in park, we hopped out. Braden, Brock, and Grady had ramps up and the ATV out within minutes, making the whole thing look more effortless than it actually was.
“Yay! I’m so glad you’re here,” Tessa squealed, jumping onto my back. We were practically the same size, but my knees still almost buckled as I hadn’t been prepared to suddenly take on her weight. “I know it’s completely last minute, but remember when we used to do things like this all the time? Throw a last minute plan together and wing it? God I miss those days,” she added with a laugh.
“I do too,” I admitted, my voice almost too quiet. Tessa tilted her head, taking a moment to study me.
“I know,” she said carefully, a mischievous glint to her eye. “So, here’s the run down. Basically everyone has their own ATV but you. Grady and Gordon brought their girlfriends, and Tommy’s got a friend here so you can’t ride with any of them.”
“I figured as much,” I sighed, shaking my head at her. I could almost see how this was going to play out. She started leading me over to where all the ATV’s were parked, on Brock’s front lawn.
“You’re welcome to share mine though!” She grinned at me. Although she hadn’t even suggested riding with Braden, I knew that’s where her thoughts had taken her. I used to ride with him all the time. I had never owned an ATV, but I knew how to operate one. Braden would let me drive it whenever I wanted to, so I hadn’t felt the need to buy one for myself. “Here she is!” Tessa stopped and touched the handle of a sleek black 2016 Grizzly.
“When did you get that?” I asked, almost whistling while I checked it out.
“The old Grizzly finally died for good, so Brock bought me a new one as my engagement gift!” Tessa’s dad had owned an old green 1999 Yamaha Grizzly that she borrowed all throughout high school. The thing was so old that it was constantly breaking down on the trails, and Braden was always trying to fix it for her.
“You get a ring and an ATV? Damn. I need to get married,” I sighed, pouting at her. She laughed at me and rolled her eyes.
“You will, one day. And whoever the lucky guy is better spoil you like you deserve, or he’ll be learning a hard lesson from your best friend,” Tessa joked. “Let’s go help Becky, she’s in the kitchen trying to put coolers together.”
I nodded in response and we walked over to the open screen door that led into Brock’s kitchen. Becky had three coolers open on top of the large island counter and was hard at work making sandwiches. One of them was full of water and juice boxes, the second was full of beer and wine coolers, and the third one, Becky was filling with sandwiches and snacks.
“You’re such a mom,” I grinned at her, shaking my head. Becky froze for a fraction of a second, almost as if my words had wounded her. I had meant them as a joke, and immediately felt bad at the thought of having hurt her feelings. But before I could apologize, she was smiling and lifting her shoulder in a delicate shrug.
“You can’t turn it off,” she said, as if it couldn’t be helped. Tessa and I joined her at the counter and helped make a few more sandwiches.
“That should be enough,” Becky finally said, closing the lid on the food cooler. We each carried one outside and tied them to the storage racks on the back of Brock, Tessa, and Becky’s ATVs.
My eyes searched around the group of people that had gathered. Brock, Braden, Grady, Gordon, Tommy, Peter, and Ezra were hanging out by the garage still, and Aiden was beside Braden, his spine straight as he tried to stand up as tall as he could. Hunter lumbered over to him and nudged his hand with his head, as if insisting the boy stop what he was doing and stroke his fur. Aiden’s eyes lit up as he kneeled to pet the dog.
“He’s really shot up,” I remarked to Becky, smiling in his direction.
“He did,” Becky agreed, nodding as she gazed at her son.
“I bet he doesn’t even remember me,” I sighed. “Three years is a long time…”
“He remembers you,” Becky assured me, her voice sounding ominous. When I arched a brow in question, she shrugged. “There’s pictures of you in Braden’s room. He never packed anything away before he left, and I wasn’t about to do it.”
I wanted to ask her if he’d packed those pictures away now, now that he was home, but I didn’t. I was afraid of the answer.
The girls that Gordon, Tommy, and Grady had brought were hanging out with Krista by the ATVs. I didn’t recognize them at all, so naturally Tessa dragged me over to them for introductions. “This is Paige, Grady’s girlfriend. Annaka is foolishly with Gordon, although hopefully she wises up soon—“
“Hey! I heard that!” Gordon yelled out, scowling at Tessa. She flipped him off and he grinned.
“And Samantha is Tommy’s friend,” Tessa continued. “Ladies, this is Elle.”
“Hey,” I said, assessing the newcomers. Paige had a friendly smile, golden hair and freckles lining her nose and cheeks. Samantha seemed rather shy and uncomfortable. She had chestnut brown hair shoved under an old Blue Jays baseball cap and eyes so blue they appeared almost violet.
Gordon’s girlfriend, Annaka, seemed out of place. She was quite pretty in an edgy way. She was unlike anyone he’d ever dated before in appearance alone. She had gages in her lobes, her labret and left nostril pierced, and ashy purple hair with 50’s style pin-up girl bangs. She had ink on every free square inch of skin, and she wore winged eyeliner and dark red lipstick, which was an odd choice for an afternoon of mudding—then again, who’s to say that Annaka wasn’t hit with this plan at the last minute, j
ust like I’d been? “I love your makeup,” I said to her.
“Thanks,” she grinned, her white teeth flashing. She even had a gem on her right canine tooth.
“Annaka is a tattoo artist,” Tessa said. “She works in a shop in Sudbury.”
“Impressive,” I said, arching my brow. “How in the hell did Gordon find you?”
“It’s a long story,” Annaka laughed. She looked over her shoulder to see if Gordon was paying attention. When she confirmed that he wasn’t, she leaned forward. “Two weeks ago, he came to the shop to get a tattoo but greened out on my table.”
Tessa burst into laughter. “Oh, it never gets old,” she told me, grinning. “Gordon’s always been such a wuss when it comes to needles. I can’t even believe he attempted to get a tattoo.”
“So he didn’t end up sticking it out?” I asked, bemused. I looked over to where the guys were standing, and caught Braden staring at me. He smiled a secret smile, and I felt my body flush under his heady gaze.
“Not at all, he’s got one random dot on his shoulder. It basically looks like a dark freckle,” Annaka chuckled.
We ended up waiting another fifteen minutes for Travis to finally show up. Thankfully, he came solo. Once his ATV was unloaded off the massive truck he had showed up in, everyone got ready to hit the trails. Becky fussed over Aiden a little, making sure that he’d strapped on his helmet securely.
I didn’t even glance over in Braden’s direction. I knew he’d invite me to ride with him, and I knew that I would have trouble telling him no. Instead, I climbed on to the back of Tessa’s ATV. I held the passenger hand grips as she pulled out behind Brock, who led the way with Hunter ambling alongside. Braden travelled behind us, and then everyone else followed with Becky and Aiden taking up the rear.
Rebel Heart: (Rebel Series Book 2) ((Rebel Series)) Page 14