Braden
Elle’s lips were parted, her breath coming out in short gasps and fanning my chin as I looked down at her. I stepped up to her again, leaving half an inch of space between us. My palms stung as I pressed them against the hard the brick wall. I could still feel the heat radiating off her body.
Her hands seemed to act on their own accord. They came up to press against my chest—but she didn’t push me away again. I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding in my chest.
I knew I should walk away, give her time to think about the things that I’d said and meant with every fibre of my heart and soul. I knew I should step back and give her time to work out what she felt for me and what she wanted.
I swallowed hard, tilting my head. The corner of my mouth shot up in a smirk. I could practically hear her thoughts spinning. “Let me know when you figure it out,” I told her as I brought my fingers up to sweep across her pouty lips.
“You’re such an asshole,” she seethed, finally using her palms to push me away. I watched as she walked back down the alley, her hands clenched into angry fists. Her dress was so short, it barely reached mid-thigh.
When she’d disappeared around the corner of the building, I let myself fall back against the wall, using it to support my weight. I was hard in the worst way. It had taken all of my restraint and control not to shove her back up against the wall and sink into her. I knew she wanted it just as much as I did—but I couldn’t let her do that. I couldn’t let her sleep with me when she was still tethered to someone else—even if her heart wasn’t with him.
I pulled my pack of smokes out of my pocket and grabbed one with shaky fingers, lighting it. The nicotine did nothing to ease my taste for her, but I smoked it anyway, needing a moment to collect myself and my thoughts.
* * *
That night, the guys in the wedding party all crashed at Brock’s cabin while the bridesmaids crashed at the Armstrong’s farm. I had no idea what kind of shenanigans the girls were getting into, but the guys were drunk by nine. All of them—even Brock was a little tipsy. I’d practically poured the bottles down his throat myself, refusing to allow him another night of sacrificing fun to make me feel more comfortable.
Thanks to Elle, I was comfortable. Or at least, comfortable enough. I’d picked up more of the alcohol free beers she’d bought for me during the bachelor party and I found that by having them in my hands, the thirst didn’t bother me as much.
When mostly everyone was sawing logs in the cabin, Brock walked up and threw his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s go fishing,” he said, his eyes sparkling.
“It’s nearly one in the morning,” I pointed out. “You’re getting married today.”
“I know,” he grinned, jostling me a little. “I still want to go fishing,” he added. Releasing me, Brock grabbed his fishing gear and I followed suit. We grabbed some bait and climbed into the boat. Brock waited for Hunter to jump in before he pushed away from the dock and started the engine.
We traveled out to one of the best fishing spots on the lake, guided by the light of the moon. We didn’t talk as we baited our hooks. Brock’s gaze remained fixated on the water after we’d cast our lines and got comfortable.
“Are you nervous?” I asked. He swallowed hard, taking several long minutes to respond.
“A little,” he confessed, tossing a wry smile at me. I knew from the hard set of his jaw that Brock was thinking about the same thing I was thinking about—our parents.
“It’s not going to be the same,” I assured him, reeling my line in a little. “You’re not him. If anybody’s like him, it’s me.”
“That’s not true,” Brock argued, his eyebrows drawing in together as he scowled at me.
“You and I both know it’s true. I’m the most like him. I’m an alcoholic and I hurt the people I love.”
“You’re a recovering alcoholic. You’ve been sober for three and a half years now, Braden. You have more strength than he ever had. And yeah, maybe you fucked things up with Elle all those years ago, but you never physically laid a hand on her. You never emotionally berated her. When she was yours, you loved her good. You still love her good. You were just immature and hurting. But you’re man enough to know your mistakes and to try and make it right again, which is more than we can say he did.”
I said nothing. I had no response. I was kind of speechless. I didn’t think of myself as the strong one in the family. My siblings had been dealt the exact same cards I’d been dealt, and worse. Becky had ended up in an abusive relationship that had landed her in the hospital and Aiden had nearly lost his life because of it. Brock had gone to jail for beating the crap out of the guy that put our sister and nephew in the hospital.
Despite all they’d been through, they were doing amazing. Becky was loving her job as a nurse at the hospital, and she was raising a kick ass kid on her own. She never wavered. Even though I knew she got lonely sometimes, she never let it drag her down and she certainly never let Aiden in on it. The only reason I could recognize it in her was because it lived in me too.
Brock had made something of himself despite going to jail. He had a steady job, a great income, a beautiful home, and he’d fallen in love and was about to marry a stellar girl. One day, he’d have kids of his own too.
Becky and Brock had risen above their circumstances, and I was just…stuck. Stuck at my old job and stuck in my old life without the added benefit of having Elle in my arms.
“I mean it,” Brock’s hand squeezed my shoulder. He left his hand there for a moment, and patted me once before removing it.
“Thanks,” I exhaled. We fell silent again, listening to the soft call of the loon. “I almost kissed her tonight.”
“Braden,” Brock sighed.
“I know,” I interrupted him, almost glaring at him. “I didn’t, I almost did…came bloody close to it…but she’s with someone else. She wants me as much as I want her, but she’s too scared to trust me. I did that.”
“Yes you did,” he agreed, his expression solemn. He ran a hand through his hair. It was long enough that the ends brushed against his shoulders. I’d been surprised that Tessa hadn’t put pressure on him to trim it, but she liked it the length that it was. “I think you just need to back off. Give her time to decide what she wants.”
“I know,” I pursed my lips. “That’s the plan. I’ve put the ball in her court, and it’s up to her now. She knows where to find me, I’ll be here.” I sighed, reeling my line completely in and recasting further out.
* * *
Brock and I fished on the lake for another forty-five minutes before heading back to the cabin and crashing. Six o’clock came with a vengeance, and the morning passed in a chaotic blur. Wedding photographers snapped photographs of us getting ready, and at one point, Brock nearly lost it when he couldn’t find his tie.
Thankfully, Aiden found it in the bathroom and all was well. We piled into two separate trucks—Brock’s and Travis’—and headed over to the Armstrong’s farm with twenty-minutes to spare before the ceremony was supposed to start.
The girls were still up at the farmhouse, doing whatever it is the bride and bridesmaids do before the wedding. Brock went to stand beneath the birch arbor with Pastor Bruce while Travis, Gordon, Grady and I set to the task of ushering guests to their seats.
Elle’s boyfriend showed up, scanning the wedding guests until his eyes fell on me. He nodded once, his jaw tense as Gordon led him to a spot near the front. He’d be sitting beside Sue Thompson.
My first reaction was to hate the guy, but I was surprised to find that I couldn’t; not after the moment Elle and I had shared. Now I just felt bad for him. He seemed like a nice enough guy, and maybe if I weren’t so selfish…I would have seen that sooner and I would have backed away.
It was too late now. I couldn’t stop it even if I tried. I didn’t have the strength to do the right thing, and I wasn’t even entirely sure if giving up was the right thing. All I knew was that every time I was around her,
I could breathe without pain. Everything was clearer. If Elle walked up to me and told me she wanted to be with me again, there would be absolutely no hesitation on my part, and I couldn’t even feel guilty about it.
Elle
Tessa, the other bridesmaids and I had slept over at the farm to make it easier to go about getting ready the next day. Cheyenne was a hairstylist and a makeup artist, and she’d offered to do everyone’s hair and makeup but needed to get an early start. We awoke at the crack of dawn, ate a hearty breakfast that my mom had made in Bill’s kitchen, and took turns sitting down in the designated chair. Cheyenne had done everyone’s hair first, then set to doing makeup.
Thankfully, she had brought her airbrush kit and managed to hide the massive bags under my eyes. I hadn’t slept at all the night before, my mind stuck on that almost-kiss in the alley and Braden’s words—not to mention the guilt. I had no idea what I was going to say to Alex when he arrived. It was bad enough that I didn’t feel for him in the same capacity that he felt for me, now I was going to have to tell him that I had almost cheated on him.
I closed my eyes, breathing deep and slow in an attempt to relax myself. Any minute, we’d get the signal to walk down the aisle together.
“God Elle…you’re stunning,” Braden whispered into my ear, his warm breath igniting the butterflies in my stomach.
I opened my eyes slowly, taking him in. I never thought I’d be attracted to a guy in a suit before. I preferred causal plaids and work boots, but Braden wore that wedding suit so well. My mouth was dry as my eyes finally made it to his face. He’d shaved the stubble, and the dimple on the right side of his cheek was visible again. His deep blue eyes were aglow with emotion, emotion that made my heart stutter.
“Yeah well, you clean up pretty well yourself,” I finally managed, forcing a smile and tearing my gaze away from him. Braden’s arm was linked through mine. I could feel him shaking a little as he chuckled.
The music cued, and we began our descent down the aisle to the beautiful piano and cello instrumental of A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. So many faces turned to stare at us. Braden was steady in leading, his body radiating warmth and strength. I glanced up, seeing Brock standing beneath the arbor with Pastor Bruce, a smile on his handsome face.
Alex was sitting beside my mom. He was dressed in a suit and holding an itinerary, a smile of adoration on his face. He mouthed that I looked gorgeous and I smiled, feeling transparent. The man I was with didn’t ignite the same sensations in me as the man on my right, the man I’d tried unsuccessfully to move past.
Braden’s hand gently squeezed my arm before we separated. I stood on the bride’s side and Braden stood beside Brock underneath the birch arbor. The rest of the wedding party approached. Becky with Travis, Katie with Gordon, and Krista with Grady. After Krista and Grady came Tessa’s beautiful niece, Alyssa, and Aiden. Alyssa tossed rose petals as she practically danced, and Aiden walked straight and tall with importance as he carried the rings.
Tears welled up in my eyes as my best friend started walking down the aisle with her father. She looked stunning. Her long, honey blonde hair was styled in a thick French braid, with flowers through it. The gown she wore was the same elegant lace gown her mother had worn on her wedding day, with a few alterations to make it more Tessa, such as the knee high slit that showcased the dressy cowgirl boots she wore.
“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” Pastor Bruce asked, looking at Bill.
“I do,” Bill answered, his voice thick with emotion. He looked at his daughter once more and kissed her on the cheek before releasing his grip on her. Brock held out his hand and Tessa accepted it. She held out her bouquet, and I quickly took it for her.
Tessa trembled throughout the ceremony. She and Brock had decided to write their own vows, and I was eternally grateful for waterproof makeup.
“Throughout this ceremony, Tessa and Brock have vowed, in our presence, to be loyal and loving towards each other. They have formalized the existence of the bond between them with words and with the giving and receiving of rings. It is my pleasure to now pronounce them husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride!” Pastor Bruce declared, a proud smile on his face.
The guests clapped as Brock stepped closer to Tessa, gently cupping her face and kissing her. The kiss with sweet, yet passionate…full of love and promise and happiness. I brushed away another tear, smiling widely as we all clapped and cheered.
* * *
Dinner was served, and after that, it was time for the speeches. As the maid of honor, I went first, clenching my cue cards as I walked up to the podium. Tessa’s older brother, Tommy, was the MC. He winked at me as he made introductions, then adjusted the microphone to my height.
I glanced around at the tables, recognizing all the faces there to celebrate Tessa and Brock’s happiness, and my eyes settled on Alex. He nodded at me, offering a sweet smile. “Gosh, full house tonight, huh? Everybody here for the open bar?” I joked, taking a shaky breath. The guests chuckled as I adjusted my cards, my eyes barely seeing the words. I’d basically memorized everything I’d wanted to say. “Tessa and I have been best friends since the day I was born. I haven’t known a life without her, nor would I want to. She’s always been there for me, she’s always been my best friend. Nobody gets me the way she does, and she’ll be the first one to tell you that. We shared everything—our toys, our clothes, hell, even our parents. My dad left when I was little, and Tessa’s mama died. Tessa’s dad has always been like a father to me, and my mom has always treated Tessa like another daughter. So we really are sisters, more or less,” I smiled, my eyes finding Bill and my mom. They were sitting side by side, and Bill reached over to hold her hand and smile at her.
“Growing up, I was the hopeless romantic and Tessa was the pessimistic one. I believed in happily ever afters, while she was cautious. Then she met Brock. I got to watch her protective walls fall away, I got to witness my best friend fall in love, and it was the coolest thing. I don’t think anyone deserves this kind of love as much as she does.”
I looked towards the head table, seeing Tessa sitting with Brock’s arm around her, and smiled through the tears that had welled up in my eyes. “Tessa, I am so, so happy for you and Brock. I can’t wait to be an aunt, so. Get on that, okay?” I laughed, brushing the tears from my cheeks. Tessa was laughing as she clapped her hands. “But finish school first,” I added, mostly for Bill’s benefit.
I stepped away from the podium, returning to the head table to take my place beside Tessa. I had to pass Braden as he made his way to the podium. Our bodies brushed against each other, and my eyes darted over to meet his. He had a look of regret on his face. I slid into my seat and hugged Tessa, kissing her on her cheek.
“Hey everyone,” Braden said, flashing a charming smile at the crowd. “There’s no way I can come close to topping Elle’s speech…but I’m going to give this my best shot—because it’s what Brock wants, and he’s done so much for me. He’s gone above and beyond just being a big brother. He’s our defender, our protector. He’s the head of the family and he’s been so since a very young age. It’s no secret, we didn’t exactly have the best upbringing. But I am who I am today because of that, because of Brock and Becky and our mom. I’ve always looked up to my big brother, even if I’ve never really shown it. He’s a hell of a guy, and I know he’s going to treat Tessa like she’s a queen. If anyone deserves a girl like Tessa, it’s Brock. Congratulations, bro.”
Braden left the podium to the sound of applause, and before he sat down, he looked at me. It was a fleeting glance, a glance that said a thousand unspoken words. A glance that undid all my resolve and made me want to know what truly put that hollow ache behind those blue eyes.
Next, Bill gave his speech. It was short and to the point, welcoming Brock into his family and giving some helpful tips on marriage (like the wife is always right. Even when she’s wrong, she’s right). My mom stepped up to share a story of when Tessa and I were little, a
nd then it was finally time for the first dance.
“Tonight, our good friend Travis is going to sing the first dance song for the bride and groom…along with a special guest…” Tommy introduced as Brock and Tessa walked out to the middle of the dance floor. Tommy wore a wicked smile on his face as he motioned towards the stage where Travis was already situated. Every eye landed on the special guest. Her long caramel hair curled over her right shoulder, held in place with a sparkling silver clip. Her dress matched the clip, silver and sparkling, and she looked vaguely familiar. When she started to speak, I realized I’d heard her voice many times on the radio and TV before.
“Thank you so much for inviting me to sing, Travis.” She said, speaking into the microphone as she grinned at him. She turned her attention back out to the audience, her eyes seeking out the bride and groom. “Congratulations Tessa and Brock—you guys truly are a stunning couple. I’m honored to be here tonight!”
“No way! That’s Everly Daniels!” Krista squealed from beside me. “I wonder what kind of strings were pulled to get her here? I heard she stopped preforming!”
“She’s here with Brock’s friend, Grayson,” Braden answered from beside Brock’s vacant seat. He gestured to a table towards the back where a handsome guy I’d never seen before sat. His eyes were fixed on the stage, as if he was spellbound.
The band behind Travis and Everly started to play, while Travis began singing.
“Dancing in the dark, middle of the night.
Taking your heart, and holding it tight.
Emotional touch, touching my skin.
And asking you to do, what you’ve been doing all over again.
Oh it’s a beautiful thing, don’t think I can keep it all in.
I just gotta let you know, what it is that won’t let me go…”
Rebel Heart: (Rebel Series Book 2) ((Rebel Series)) Page 19