Xander: Part One (Rockstar #9)

by Anne Mercier

  "I already asked your husband if it'd be okay if we hung out. He's cool with it."

  I lift a brow. "Really."

  "He did threaten to cut my balls off if I even looked at you wrong."

  I laugh. "Now that sounds more like Xan."

  He nods and chuckles. "Let's go eat. I'm fucking starving."

  "You've been lifting?" I ask, remembering how hungry Carter always is when he lifts weights and works out.

  He nods. "Swam for an hour and lifted for another."

  I whistle. "Swimming is so exhausting. I'm a little surprised you lifted after that."

  "I didn't push myself. Kept the weight my norm and the reps and stuff low. I just don't want to get out of shape. I'm gonna have a hell of a summer when I get to NYU."

  "They're gonna work your ass off," I tell him, unable to imagine how hard they're going to push him.

  He nods. "I know it. Let's take my car. We'll come back and pick yours up."

  "Sounds good."

  The ride to Gill's is short and filled with small talk. When we walk in, I see Shea sitting with a bunch of Carter's friends. I turn to look at him and smile, tears welling in my eyes.

  "Thank you."

  He merely nods. There's no smile. None of this can be easy for him. He's so selfless. It's no wonder I love him. I'll always love him, it just wasn't the way I love Xander and knowing I can feel that way, I would never settle for less.

  We sit down and order. We're joking and waiting for our food when Shea's mouth pulls tight and her eyes go flat.

  "Well, well. Look who's here."

  I turn and there's Sasha Clay. I grind my teeth. She's one of the chicks Xander would take to the shack on a regular basis, which means he fucked her on a regular basis. Married or not, that eats at me something fierce because that was during the time he made me feel as if I wasn't good enough—and he succeeded.

  "Oh look, it's the Wicked Witch from Slutsville," Shea taunts.

  A few of the guys cough "whore" into their hands, and as immature as that is, I want to hug every one of them for doing it.

  Sasha zeroes in on Shea. "Have you decided which way you're gonna swing?"

  I fist my hands and my eyes narrow. No one has ever made fun of Shea's sexual orientation and this slut isn't going to start now.

  "Why? You want a piece of her?" I ask, looking her up and down with disdain.

  Shea snorts. "She wishes, but I don't want to ride the bike every one in town's already ridden."

  The guys chuckle and Sasha fumes. Her face gets red and she takes a step forward. I sit up straight and Carter rests his hand on the small of my back to comfort me. This bitch isn't going to hurt, intimidate, or try to shame my best friend. I won't allow it.

  "How unoriginal," Sasha retorts.

  "Like you, you mean," I taunt.

  "Your husband's been gone less than an hour and already you're with your ex," she tsks. "I wonder what Xander would say if he knew."

  "He wouldn't say a damn thing because he knows I'm with friends today," I reply.

  "Friends," she scoffs.

  "Don't worry your skanky gossiping pea-brain. I made sure to mention all the names of the people I was with."

  "Sure you did. There's no way Xan—"

  I stand up now and I'm in her face. I'm short, at least six inches shorter than she is, but it doesn't matter. I get all up in her shit.

  "You don't mention his name, bitch. You don't know him. You don't know anything about my marriage either. Let me fill you in. Xan trusts me. In fact, Carter asked Xander if it was okay if we did things together, not that it's any of your business." I take one more step forward, her eyes widening as I poke her in the chest. "Do you know what he said? He said he didn't care. You know why? Because unlike you, I haven't fucked the entire varsity football team—including the coach—and I've never given him a reason to doubt me."

  She's got nothing to say to that.

  "Run along with your whore friends," Shea tells them.

  "The skank corner is over there," one of the guys says.

  "You may be married to him and maybe you're not cheating, but if you think he's not on the road fucking every groupie he can, you're delusional. They're falling at his feet, touching him, kissing him. You think he's going to stop them when they grab his dick? I don't. No guy would stop that, especially when they're on such a high from being on stage," she scoffs.

  I hate that she found my insecurity on the first try. I swallow it down and fake it.

  I roll my eyes and turn to sit back down. She grabs my shirt and spins me around.

  "You don't turn your—"

  "Don't you ever fucking touch me with your filthy fucking hands. Don't you ever act like you know more about my life than I do. And most of all, don't you ever act like you know Xander better than I do. You may have been one of the easy chicks he fucked, but he's my husband now and that means he's mine forever."

  "I was more than a fuck to him. We were tog—"

  That's it. I see red. Nothing but red. She fucking laid her hands on me. She won't shut up. She's pushed me too far. Hell fucking no.

  I pull back my arm then let my fist fly right into her overly made up face. It's not easy hitting someone when you're this much shorter than them, but I did it. I think I might have jumped up to hit her because I got her in the eye.

  She screams and her friends gasp.

  "You hit me! You bitch?" she wails.

  I nod. "I sure as fuck did. Now move the fuck on before I do it again."

  Sasha and her friends scurry out of the diner and Gill walks over. He lets out a whistle.

  "That was one hell of a right hook." He gives me an ice pack for my hand—which hurts like hell.

  "Let me see." Gill pushes on my hand testing out the pain. "Doesn't look like anything's broke, but that's gonna hurt for a while. Keep icing it, girl, and you'll be all right."

  "Thank you."

  He chuckles. "Latina temper. You're a force to be reckoned with. I doubt she'll be forgetting that any time soon."

  Shea fusses over me as does Carter.

  "I'm fine. Really. Just bruised a bit."

  As soon as I say that, they all start laughing.

  "Holy shit, Tera," Dane, one of the football players says. "That was fucking epic."

  "Tell me you got that on video," another player says.

  "Fuck yeah, I did."

  "Oh God. Please don't show that—"

  Dane looks up. "Too late. It's already gotten over 200 hits on YouTube."

  "Shit. Shit, shit, shit. If Xander sees that…"

  My phone rings, but it's in my back pocket. "Can you grab that for me?" There's no way I can move my hand like that.

  Carter grabs the phone and looks at the caller ID. Xander.

  "Oh hell." I nod at Carter who pushes the talk and speaker buttons. "Hey."

  "Hey," Xander replies. "Is this my wife who I see in a video doing a great impression of Mike Tyson?"

  "Uh… you saw that, huh?" I hedge.

  "Baby, over seven hundred people have seen that already."

  "Seven hundred? I don't know even know seven hundred people!"

  Xan chuckles. "Well, they sure know you now."

  "Great."

  "Just tell me one thing," he says.

  "What's that?" I ask, a little afraid.

  "Did you break your hand, T?" The concern in his voice makes me want to cry. He's been gone for a little over an hour and I've already given him a reason to worry about me. I'm an asshole.

  I sniffle. "No, Xan, but it hurts something fierce."

  "Guess Sasha's head is harder than mine then, huh? When you punched me in the face, your hand was just fine," he teases.

  I snicker a little, feeling a little more at ease now that he's joking. A joking Xan is a happy Xan.

  "Or maybe I just hit her a lot harder."

  "Maybe," he replies.

  "She had it coming, Xan," Shea says.

  "She did. I know she did, but damn.
You could've waited to do that until I was around. Now I'm over here all hot for you and you're over there," he jokes.

  The guys all wolf whistle and make lewd suggestions.

  "You knew you were on speaker phone, huh?" I ask with a snicker.

  "Hell yes, I did. Carter," Xan calls out.

  "Yeah, man," Carter answers.

  "What happened to you taking care of my wife? You just sat there, dude."

  Carter chuckles. "Xan, you know as well as I do if I'd gotten in the middle of that, Tera would've punched me too."

  "No," I say. "I'd have kneed you in the balls."

  Carter winces.

  "Dude," Xander says. "Good call."

  "She was scary, man," Dane calls out.

  "That's my girl. She's a spitfire when you get her riled," Xan answers. "Makes for some hot times between the sheets."

  "Xander Mackenzie!" I scold, my face turning red as everyone teases and laughs.

  "Babe, they already knew that. One look and anyone can see it," Xan tells me.

  I look at the guys who are all nodding their heads and agreeing with Xan.

  "See?" he says.

  I cover my face with my good hand. "Oh my God. This is like one of those dreams you have where you're standing in front of the class having to give a speech only to realize you're naked."

  That's how I feel right now. Naked. Exposed.

  "They could only hope," Xander tells me.

  "I'm not sure how I'm going to eat my burger, but it's just arrived, Xan. Can I call you when I get home?" I ask.

  He chuckles. "Yeah, of course."

  "You're a beast!" Linc yells in the background.

  I groan again.

  "Talk to you soon. I love you," I tell him.

  "Love you too, T."

  I look around and everyone's watching me.

  "What?"

  Then it begins. The ribbing. "Aww, that was so sweet."

  I flip them all off and they laugh.

  "Now who's going to help me cut this burger into pieces I can hold?"

  Chapter Sixteen

  "Did you say wife?" Jerry our manager asks.

  I nod. "Yep. Got married on Christmas."

  He blows out a frustrated breath and runs his hand over his balding head. "No, no, no. This isn't good."

  "What do you mean?" Jesse asks as we pass another car. This bus driver is wicked.

  "You guys are new. You're young. You're supposed to be available for these women and girls to go crazy over. If you're married, they're going to have an issue. That's going to put a dent in your popularity," he replies.

  Jesse folds his arms. "Too fucking bad, man. He's married."

  "I'm not saying he can't be married, I'm saying maybe we should keep it a secret. Just for now until the end of this tour."

  I give him a glare. "I don't like this. Tera's not going to like it either. And how the fuck are we supposed to keep an entire town quiet about this? What you're asking is something I don't want to do and it's probably not even possible at this point," I growl, not bothering to hide my annoyance.

  "Fuck this," Linc says.

  "Calm the hell down," Ethan tells Linc, grabbing his arm to stop him from launching at Jerry.

  "I'm not trying to piss you off. I'm trying to help get you as big as you can be."

  "Fuck you," I answer. "I'm not going to run and announce it to the world but I'm sure as fuck not going to hide it either. If you have a problem with that, fucking sue me."

  Jerry opens his mouth to say something else and Jesse cuts him off. "Quit while you're ahead."

  Fuck him. Fuck this.

  I look at Jesse and he looks at me. He's not happy either. When Jerry makes his way to the restroom, I lean forward.

  "When we get a chance, I'm gonna talk to Cage about this fucker and his bullshit. How is my being married going to hurt the entire band? I'm one guy. You all are single. This is fucking bullshit," I snarl.

  Jesse nods. "I hear you man. We'll call Cage when we get to where we're going."

  "Good," I reply. I'm proud that Tera is my wife. I'm not hiding her from anyone unless she asks me to. No one else matters but her.

  New Year's Eve came and went. The party we played for was a success. Cage said we didn't have to keep the marriage a secret, but when I talked to Tera she said maybe we should. It wasn't for the reasons Jerry brought to the table. Her reasons were for her safety and privacy and I never even considered that until then. I don't like it, but for now, our marriage is on the down low.

  It's the third week in January, four weeks on the road, when Tera calls me out of the blue. We have set times that work best for both of us, so my first thoughts are something bad happened.

  "Tera?" I answer. We're on stage, getting ready to do sound check for our concert tonight and it's loud.

  "Xan!" she shouts.

  "What's going on? Is something wrong?" I ask, plugging my non-phone ear with my index finger.

  "No, just the opposite. I won! I won the art competition!" she squeals.

  Pride fills my chest and a genuine smile pulls across my face. "That's fucking amazing, babe! What happens now?"

  "Now I have to go to Los Angeles to accept the award and bring a portfolio of all of my completed works so they can choose which ones they want to feature in a showing!" Tera squeals again.

  "That's fantastic, T. So, this means you got the art scholarship to NYU?"

  "Yes! And guess what else?"

  "What?" I can't stop grinning. Her excitement is infectious.

  "Shea won for her sculpture! She's going to be going with me."

  "No shit. That's cool as hell, babe!"

  "I know, right? I won't have to be all alone in a school full of art nerds," she says with a giggle.

  "I hate to tell you, Tera, you are an art nerd," I say and she gasps.

  "I so am not."

  "You are."

  "Am not."

  "Are too."

  She growls. "You are such a brat."

  "But you love me."

  "I do. So much. God, how I wish you were here with me for this," she says, then sighs. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't say things like that. I don't want you to feel guilty."

  "Tera. You can say anything you want. I agree with you. I wish I were there with you right now, too. I wish you'd been there on New Year's for that private party. It was one of the highlights of this tour, just like this is the highlight of your career. Never feel you can't tell me everything, okay?" I console.

  "Okay. Same goes for you."

  "You know it. Now tell me, when do you go to LA?"

  "Two weeks from Monday."

  "I'm going to see if I can be there. I can always fly out and fly back in time for the show. We don't have shows on Mondays," I tell her. I fucking want to be there so bad. I want to see my girl accept the award she more than deserves.

  "I love you so much, Xan."

  "I love you, too, Tera. I miss you like fucking crazy. I wish we had just one night off on the weekend so you could come out for even a day."

  "I would love that. Remember, spring break isn't far off and you should be back here by then. We can go away for a week somewhere, just the two of us."

  "That sounds fucking perfect."

  "I need to go, Xan. Mr. Perkins is giving me the evils."

  "Okay, baby. We still gonna talk tonight?" I ask.

  "Absolutely. See you on Skype, my love."

  "See you then."

  I set the phone down, hating the ache in my chest. I am missing out on so much of her life right now. I would have loved to have been there when she was told she won. I can see her face in my mind. Shock. Surprise. Happiness with a few tears.

  This also means I'm going to see less of her than the every other weekend we've got going on now. Fuck. This blows.

  "You done wallowing so you can tell us the good news?" Jesse prods, and my grin comes back as does the pride.

  "You guys are gonna love this…"

  "What the fuck do y
ou mean I can't go? That's my wife and this is the biggest night of her life," I shout.

  "What the fuck is going on?" Jesse asks, stepping onto the bus.

  "Jerry here won't let me go to Tera's event tomorrow," I growl.

  "Why the fuck not?" Jesse asks.

  Jerry shifts uneasily. I'm the most laid back of all the guys as far as demands go, so I know he's not shifting because of me. He's afraid of Jesse and he fucking damn well should be. Jesse is a force to be reckoned with lately. There is no boy left in him. None. That shit is history.

  "We have interviews lined up," Jerry says. "There's no getting out of them. I tried, man. I called the boss but these are big ones at major radio stations. As soon as those are over, we're grabbing a plane to go to NYC for the night. We've got another interview on Good Morning America the next morning."

  Jesse runs a hand through his hair. "Christ." He paces. "There's no way he can skip the radio shit and meet us in New York?"

  Jerry shakes his head. "That's a no-go according to management."

  "I want to fire our fucking manager, Jesse. He's a worthless fuck who throws all this shit at us at the last minute."

  Jerry sighs and nods. "I don't work for them, I only work with them. I work for the record company—just so you don't want to fire me, too. I only do what I'm told, guys. I'm sorry."

  With that, he walks off the bus leaving me and Jesse standing there.

  "This fucking sucks, Jesse. This is huge for Tera." My anger has reached new levels that even my ears are hot. I want to beat the fuck out of someone.

  "This management is part of the show we won. We have to put up with this kind of shit for the next year and then we're free to find our own. Until then, I guess we're their puppets," Jesse says with a sigh, taking a seat in one of the chairs.

  I plop down across from him, slouching. "I don't know if she'll ever forgive me for this, man. Think it's a breach of contract if I just bail on the radio shit and then fly to New York? I'd fucking do it on my own dime."

  I'm grasping at straws. I know it and so does Jesse. He looks at me helplessly and shakes his head.

  "I don't think that's a good idea. If there was any fucking way I could get around that for you, you know I would."

  "I know," I sigh.

  "We can find out if you can get there Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm pretty sure she'll still have some of her art up in the gallery and you can celebrate with a night away. Champagne, candlelight, a nice dinner, and some good fuckin' should help if Tera gets too pissed. I don't think she will though, man. She gets it. We've got obligations," Jesse explains.