by W. J. May
“Excuse me?” Rae’s brows came together.
“Man, I’m crappy at trying to explain stuff.” Julian pulled his hair out of its ponytail and then wrapped it back in. “I just mean—don’t girls like talking to their girlfriends about guys, relationships and all that stuff?”
Such a guy. Though she did get what he tried to imply. “We do, sorta. And you’re right, it sucks not having anyone to talk to. Molls is always going on and on about Reece. She even told me they’re moving in together next year.”
“Wow. Molly, serious about something? That is pretty amazing.” Julian stared at Rae, stirring his drink with the straw. “What’s going on? What’s bothering you? I can see you’re stressed out about something.” He leaned back on the bench and stretched his long arms along the top.
Rae chewed her lip. Should I tell him about Devon’s dad? What would Julian tell me about Devon dating Anna? She pretended to read the label on the malt vinegar. Life shouldn’t be this complicated. She brought her gaze back to Julian, who was looking at her. “D’you know Devon’s dad pretty well?”
Julian shrugged, his eyebrows raised. “Yeah, Dev and I have been buds from the day we got here. His dad’s cool.” He paused when he looked at her. “He can be very ambitious. He’s always pushing Devon to do more, be more, but everything Devon does, it never really seems good enough. Devon used to try so hard to win his approval, and be perfect. Finally last year, maybe after he met you, Dev started wanting to make his own decisions and mistakes. It hasn’t been an easy change. His dad’s not so great at letting go of the control.”
“Hmmm—” Rae twirled the bottle of malt vinegar with her fingers.
“Spill it, beautiful. What happened?”
Rae sighed. If I can’t talk to Devon, I might as well ask Julian what he thinks. “I’m not sure what to do.” She tapped a finger against the top of the table. “After the dance, Dean Wardell asked me to his office. I thought it was because you guys left the dance so suddenly and was going to fill me on why you guys left. I was so wrong.” She swallowed. “He warned me to stay away from Devon. Said I was bad for him, I had too much baggage with my dad’s history and I wasn’t normal enough for Devon. He said I was damaged! I…I think he saw Dev and me kiss or something.” Probably back at the beginning of the school year, when we’d gone to the movies. Her eyes burned. It became an effort to swallow past the dryness in her throat. She hated crying but this totally sucked.
“Ouch! What’d Devon say when you told him?” Julian leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table.
Rae shook her head, terrified if she spoke, the tears would start and she would be unable to stop them.
“You didn’t tell him?” His eyes grew big. “You need to. He’s going to be ticked! His dad’s always meddling.” Julian shook his head. “Dev’s old enough to make his own decisions.”
“Yeah, but the dean could make things really difficult. What if he kicked me out of school? Or told the Privy Council and…and they sent Devon far away?” She wrung her hands, trying to stop the shivers and goose bumps running down her arms.
Julian’s fist hit the table. “Mr. Wardell’s not going to say anything to the Privy Council! It’s next to impossible to even tell you and Devon like each other. He’s got no proof.” Julian grinned. “Plus, he’d look like an idiot tattle talin’ on his own son and the Privy Council’s biggest job-candidate hopeful. Like anyone wouldn’t approve of you!”
“He obviously doesn’t.” She skirted over the hint Julian made about the Privy Council wanting her to work for them. Tuck that away to think about later. “What if I tell Devon and he agrees with his dad? I don’t want to take that risk.” Rae stopped talking when the waitress brought their plates of food. She leaned over to grab the salt. “What about Anna? Devon dating some chick this summer and not bothering to mention it to me? You know how I found out? Bloody Carter brought it up – in front of Devon! Did he tell you that?” She frowned when she realized she had let her voice rise. She forced herself to lower it. “Sometimes it feels like I have to keep all these secrets, everyone has things they aren’t telling me and… and the one person I don’t want to have to hide things from is covering up stuff he doesn’t want me to know. How am I supposed to deal with that?”
Julian over-poured curry onto his chips. “Carter told you?” He appeared genuinely surprised.
“Yeah,” she replied, wondering why Julian seemed focused on that one bit of information, out of everything she had just told him. “Just when I’d got back after the summer. He’d called Devon and me to the Oratory and was telling me about the brainwashing device my dad created. That’s when he said it. I don’t know how much, if anything, Carter actually knows about our relationship. Either he knows nothing and it was an innocent slip, or he was purposefully trying to break us up. Devon told me later Anna’s brother ended up being the cause for concern. But it didn’t really help.”
“It was part of his job. He had to do it. He couldn’t say no without a valid reason. And because his secret girlfriend might get mad isn’t really what the PC would consider ‘valid’. You know that right?”
She nodded. “I get it, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t surprise me any less. I barely heard from him all summer and then when I come back, I hear from someone else that he had been dating a girl? Fake or not, he could have at least mentioned it to me. He explained later about how he had to date Anna to see if he could get any information about Randy.” She bit a fry and grimaced when the hot inside burned her tongue.
“How’d you know her brother’s name? It’s classified.”
I’m spilling my guts and he’s shocked I know Randy’s name? She wasn’t going to say anything about Kraigan’s conversation, not yet. She really needed to talk to him first. So she ignored Julian’s question and threw one of her own back at him. “How am I to know Devon’s not dating anyone else and blaming it on the Privy Council?” She couldn’t keep the anger out of her voice.
“He’d never cheat on you.” The shocked expression on Julian’s face gave Rae some comfort. “He hated every moment this summer and agonized over how to explain it to you.” He took a bite of his fish and after he had finished chewing, he asked again, “How’d you know the guy’s name is Randy?”
Rae ate another chip, while debating how to tell Julian the truth while keeping Kraigan out of it. I can tell without really explaining. She took a deep breath. “Kraigan mentioned something in class today.”
“What did he say?” His body stiffened.
“He doesn’t have a clue. I heard him telling Nic he met some chick who was heartbroken from a summer romance and how he made friends with her brother who has a tatù, while she only has a tattoo. Probably a tramp stamp”
“And from that,” Julian said, ignoring her last comment, “you got Anna and Randy out of the conversation and realized it was the same gal Devon dated?” Julian had a suspicious look on his face.
“Pretty much. He mentioned Anna’s brother has a tatù but didn’t go to Guilder. There can’t be that many ‘Annas’ in the world with brothers who have tatùs. I just put two and two together.”
“I’m like the only guy who don’t trust him. I had the first drawing-vision of you and him the night of the dance.” So that’s why you seemed off in the hallway that night. Julian snorted. “Everyone keeps saying he’s an orphan and needs to find his sea legs and learn to understand his tatù. Even Carter’s got this big idea that he’s going to be some kind of superhero.”
“Maybe.” Carter probably knows more than he’s letting on. She thought back to Kraigan’s advice about Carter’s tatù. “He’s not bad. He’s just trying to find a way to fit in and is trying to figure this tatù world out. Like me. It’s hard to come into this world without any prior knowledge–a lot harder than you think.”
“I guess you’re right.” Julian sighed. “Maybe you could get a hold of his power and see if you can figure it out. Just to be safe.”
“I’ll see what I can d
o.” Rae didn’t plan to mimic Kraigan’s ability without his permission. Julian was acting too paranoid for her comfort, and his suggestion was oddly sly for someone she had come to think of as honest and open. She was beginning to wonder if Julian had something to hide. I’m not going to be anyone’s pawn. “Juls,” she looked up at him, “don’t tell Devon about his dad, okay? I don’t want him to worry.”
“I won’t say anything for now. Mainly because he’d kick my ass for having this conversation with you.”
Yeah, I owe him for this. Rae played with a soggy fry. “I’m glad we talked. I feel better.” She forced a smile. He’s still my buddy.
“Me, too. Not sure about the feeling better— Probably more paranoid now that I’m gonna get in a crap-load of trouble with your boyfriend.” Julian laughed. “But I’m glad you got to talk. School’s only a few more months and then you can get on with life and start doing something fun, like living and maybe hanging out with your boyfriend without being worried his dad is watching you.”
He’s right. This will all be over soon. Suddenly, the crummy day didn’t seem so bad, and tomorrow looked a lot brighter. She would be seeing Devon soon.
Chapter 20
If I Ruled the World
Sitting on the floor, Rae frowned at the dorm windows. Although it was already half past seven, the sky still seemed like it hadn’t woken up yet. The grey clouds from yesterday’s rain hung like a heavy curtain, keeping the morning in miserable dimness.
She tucked her right leg underneath her and extended her left. As she reached for her toes, the tightness in her hamstrings protested, proving how badly she needed to stretch. Julian had offered to teach her some training exercises last night, and she had accepted the challenge without hesitation. She might be stiff and sore now, but she had beat him the last six times, making the pain totally worth it. She grinned. Not that I was counting.
A few minutes later, she brought her foot behind her and started working on her quad muscles. She straightened her back and a long, slow yawn escaped. Her eyes closed as she dropped her head side to side to ease the cricks and stiffness. After blinking several times, she refocused and caught sight of the mail still sitting on her desk from the day before.
Walking on her knees, she shuffled over and picked up a business-size padded envelope. The return address showed her uncle’s name. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, suddenly completely awake.
The sudden plink of raindrops resonated against the window. Her nerves were strung so tightly, the sound was like a guitar pick, plucking at her. With damp hands, she ripped open the package.
Rae gasped. She held the old, leather string-tied journal away from her body, like it might possess some kind of curse. A sheet of paper drifted towards the floor. She snatched it just before it touched the ground. She set the journal on the desk, and then she reached up to flip on the light above her. Her uncle’s extremely neat, handwritten message reminded her of her mother’s writing.
Dear Rae,
While sorting through a case of old files, I came across my old journal from Guilder. It is just boys dreaming they could change the world. I doubt it will help you very much, but it may give you some insight into your father. These scribbled writings belong more to you than me. It’s been years since I’ve looked at them.
Enjoy your last term at Guilder and let me know how things get on. I’ve received an invite from the headmaster for your graduation ceremony. It’s been over forty years since I’ve set foot inside those halls. Maybe it’s time to return.
I shall leave you with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the things you think you cannot do.
Your uncle,
Argyle
Rae set the letter on her desk and stared at the cover of the journal. The title, HOC Notes & Minutes, was written in the same calligraphic penmanship as Argyle’s letter. Taking a deep breath, she untied the string and flipped to the first page. Only two sentences, in a different penmanship from that of the cover, were written on it, messy and printed, not cursive.
The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers—Erich Fromm.
The last sentence was underlined. Simon Kerrigan had entered the quote into the journal. Rae recognized her father’s tight, distinctive handwriting. She had been six years old the last time she had seen anything he had written. But the quote represented his thoughts precisely.
She turned the page and saw her uncle’s writing again. Meticulous, even then, he had written the names of each member of the group, included their year, indicated those already marked with tatùs and he had also indicated who represented the board. The next few pages showed minutes from meetings with short notes on where the group met and what they discussed. Boring stuff. The only interesting point appeared to be that the boys seemed younger, probably fourteen or fifteen years old. She skipped some pages and saw her father’s lecture at one meeting. His plans, before his tatù, were far more elaborate and mature than the thoughts and ideas of the other boys.
Rae checked her watch. Nearly eight o’clock. She still had to shower and grab breakfast before her first class. Reluctant to leave the book, she closed it and pulled her bottom desk drawer open. She flipped the journal open to stuff the letter from her uncle inside.
“What the heck?” She froze when she read the title on the page: “When I Rule the World, by SK” hand printed in capital letters. She wondered if her uncle had ever bothered to read this—or even seen it.
“No way I’m gonna rush now. I so gotta read this.” Dropping onto her bed, she drew the book close to read:
Ruling the World is not as hard as one would think. This school is a joke and most of those already tatùed here don’t even realize they are just pawns in the Council’s game of power. The school’s too stupid to clue in. The oh-so-sacred and oh-so-secret Privy Council wants to control and keep the power under their command.
All it takes is one individual with a rare ability to change this. The kids in our dumb little club already hang on to every word I say and until this month, I didn’t even have my tatù.
The stage has been set and I have been gifted with my talent.
The professors here know nothing of my mother--that she and my father were both tatùed. They are all so scared of the consequences—like the bloody Tudors, terrified of mixing the royal blood lines or, heaven forbid, their religion.
I shall be like King Henry. I will start my own group of followers, and rule (or should I say, control) the world. My father taught me the endless possibilities in mixing tatùs, and how to choose the right women to produce the strongest heirs. I plan on continuing his dream, but to my advantage. His dream was to create powerful men to battle for and protect England. But why stop there when we’ve got mere mortals and machines to do the work (and die) for us.
I’ve already created the perfect weapon of power. If I’m this talented now, how much more so will I be at twenty? Thirty? The plan is almost too easy now with the tatù I’ve received. Brainwashing, overtaking the Privy Council (and destroying them), and following my own destiny. And therein lies the mystery—What is my destiny?
Rae sat back in her chair, stunned. This is huge. It appeared her dad had written this shortly after his sixteenth birthday. Her mind whirled. Her grandparents had died before Rae had been born and neither of her parents had spoken of them much. Where could she find information on Grandpa and Nanny Kerrigan?
Her beeping watch distracted her. She glanced at it and jumped off the chair, knocking it over. Nine o’clock. Very, very late. Even a speed tatù couldn’t get her to class on time now. Tossing the journal in her top drawer, she threw on a skirt and blouse and dashed out the door and to the Oratory.
She used a cheetah tatù for the speed, moving too fast for the rain to bother her.. She tried to slip into the back of the Grand Hall without being noticed, and stood behind Nicholas.
“Hey, Missy, you’re half an hour late.”
“Yeah, I—I overslept.” She peeked over his shoulder to Carter explaining some task he wanted the students to do. “What’d I miss?”
“Not much.” Nic stared ahead but turned his head slightly to whisper, “Devon talked about the Privy Council. There’re opportunities to work for them, but they only accept a few. He encouraged everyone to apply, since we’re seniors.” He snorted, in a friendly way. “Not that you need to bother filling out the forms. I’m sure they want you, like, yesterday.” Devon was here and I missed it?
“Mr. MacGyver,” Carter spoke loud from the front of the room. “Is there a reason why your conversation with Ms. Kerrigan is more important than mine?”
Nic coughed. “No, sir. Sorry.”
Rae’s ears grew hot. She glanced around the room and saw Kraigan standing by Molly, throwing an annoyed look in her direction. Crap. I forgot to talk to him last night about standing him up. She dropped her gaze to the floor.
“Alright then. Now that I have everyone’s undivided attention, I’d like to get on with today’s activity. We haven’t much time left in class but if you can all partner up, we can get started.” Carter checked his phone and then tapped one of the students with a levitation tatù. “Focus on your defense mechanisms today. Talk to your partner to see what skills you can use with each other’s tatùs.” He said to a student, “Levitate the box full of three-foot bamboo sticks towards me. “Everyone, use these sticks to practice some physical combat.” He pulled his cell out of his back pocket. “I’ll be right back.”
Nic groaned. He shook his head and pointed to his eye. “Please don’t give me another black one. The last one was embarrassing enough. Can we just admit you’re gonna kick my ass and not bother with the drill?”
Rae giggled and lightly punched his shoulder. “Come on. Don’t be such a wimp. They’re just bamboo.”
“Yeah and I remember trying to high jump with bamboo sticks for gym class. I landed on the bar and broke it. I still have the welt line on my back and that was like, two years ago.” Nic rubbed his spine. “Do you want me to show you the scar?”