Lavinia's Window

by Michelle Weisen

  Ellinor May slipped her arms around Lavinia. “This is a time for healing, Lavinia. Our love for one another makes us vulnerable to each other’s pain.”

  Lavinia looked up at Ellinor May. “I thought that the General would come to Philadelphia with me for the meeting with my father.”

  “The General has his own heartaches at the moment, Lavinia, and we must respect that,” Ellinor May said gently. “You are young and strong. Trust your instincts. Our prayers will be with you.”

  Ellinor May went home, and Annie and Lavinia went to the kitchen.

  Mrs. Lawson was preparing a tray for the General. “You two sit down at the table and eat,” she ordered. “I’ll take this up for Kevin and the General.”

  Annie dug into her plate and ate with relish. Lavinia could barely swallow her food. “I’m going to read a story to the General,” said Annie as she grabbed another piece of bread.

  “He might not be well enough,” replied Lavinia miserably.

  “Then I’ll just hold his hand.”

  Lavinia nodded and proceeded to push her food around on her plate.

  Mrs. Lawson returned to the kitchen and took off her apron. “I’m sorry Ellinor May went home. There’s plenty of dinner left over.” She eyed Lavinia’s plate. “I don’t want your papa thinkin’ we don’t feed you around here. You’d best eat something, young miss,” she said sternly.

  “Yes, ma’am,” said Lavinia as she took a small bite.

  Mrs. Lawson sat down with the girls. “Lavinia, you cannot take this upon yourself. The General has his spells. There is naught to be done except to comfort him when we can, and wait until he snaps out of it. The war stole part of the General’s mind, and he cannot always cope with life’s sorrows. It is the Soldier’s Heart.”

  Annie finished eating and finagled her way into Mrs. Lawson’s lap. “I am going to go with Lavinia to see her Papa on Friday.”

  “I’m glad you found yer voice. I was a mite worried,” said Mrs. Lawson as she held Annie tight.

  “Well, I snapped out of it.”

  “So you did,” chuckled Mrs. Lawson. “Make sure you speak up if Miss Lavinia needs yer help on Friday.”

  “Don’t worry. I will,” said Annie firmly.

  Mrs. Lawson looked directly at Lavinia. “You have a good family. They love you and want what is best,” she said with meaning.

  “I know that, and the last thing I want to do is cause anyone pain. I am sure that Papa must feel the same way,” replied Lavinia.

  “Perhaps, but some matters cannot be settled in a way that satisfies everyone.”

  “Mrs. Lawson, how can I make Grandmama understand that I love her and need her, no matter what happens? I feel as though she expects me to take a side. I do not wish our families to be divided.”

  “Then you must ask for help from someone who knows your grandmama even better than you do. One who can speak to Mrs. Constance’s heart.”

  “Who?”

  “Your Aunt Claire.”

  “Of course! I will ask Grandmama to take us to Philadelphia a day early so we can spend some time with Claire and perhaps Aunt Belle.” Lavinia jumped up and put her arms around Mrs. Lawson and Annie. “Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome. Now off with you both.” She watched Lavinia and Annie run out arm in arm. She picked up her apron and tied it around her waist. “I’ve known Constance Spencer nearly forty years, and change is not something she takes to easily. Lord preserve us.” With that, she began clearing the table.

  Lavinia and Annie went upstairs and knocked at the General’s door. “Come in,” called Kevin.

  They opened the door. The General was dozing, and Kevin was sitting in a chair next to the bed. Annie went over and slipped her hand into the General’s.

  “How is he?” she whispered.

  “Restin’ well as can be expected.”

  “Can we stay with you, Kevin?” asked Lavinia.

  “I’m glad o’ the company.”

  “Where is Grandmama?”

  “She went to fill a hot water bottle. She’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Kevin, we might go to Philadelphia early,” said Lavinia.

  “That so?”

  “Yes,” said Annie. “We think Claire might make Mrs. Constance feel better about Lavinia’s papa.”

  “In what way?”

  “I hope that she can encourage Grandmama to accept Papa as part of our family.”

  Kevin rubbed his chin. “Mrs. Constance is a fine woman, and a fair one,” he added.

  The General stirred. “That may be true young man, but she is as stubborn a woman as I’ve run up against.”

  “You’re awake,” cried Annie joyfully as she covered the General’s face with kisses.

  “I am now,” he grinned. “What are you two up to?”

  “I think that we should go to Philadelphia tomorrow and have Aunt Claire help us,” said Lavinia.

  “That is certainly a step in the right direction. Claire has a mind of her own. She’ll let you know what’s what, that’s for sure,” said the General.

  “Who will let us know what’s what?” asked Constance as she came into the room with the hot water bottle. “Edward, tuck this under your bad hip.”

  “Let me help you, sir,” said Kevin as he stood up and took the hot water bottle. He slipped it neatly under the covers.

  “Aaah! That feels good.”

  “I was hoping that we could go to Philadelphia early,” said Lavinia timidly. “I would like to ask Aunt Claire’s advice on some things.”

  “I don’t like to leave Edward when he is unwell,” said Constance.

  “I’ve Kevin to look after me, Ellinor May to visit me, and Mrs. Lawson to terrorize me!” declared the General. “Take the girls tomorrow, Constance. That way you can take some time to think things through, and consult with that young fellow we hired.”

  “Mr. Stewart could prove invaluable at this time. I do hope Claire doesn’t antagonize him too much,” murmured Constance.

  “Can we go tomorrow?” asked Lavinia.

  “Yes. I will let Claire know we are coming.”

  Lavinia jumped up and hugged Grandmama tightly. “I love you so much,” she whispered.

  Constance kissed Lavinia on the cheek. “Are you sure you will be fine without me, Edward?”

  “Of course. I’m only sorry I cannot accompany you, my dear.”

  “I shall miss your guidance, Edward.”

  “James and Belle will be there.”

  “That is true.”

  “Good,” said the General. “It’s settled.”

  “Would you like me to read you a story?” asked Annie.

  “That would be delightful.”

  Constance and Lavinia walked down the hall. “Well, I’ll begin the preparations. Nancy will pack our things in the morning,” said Constance. “Why don’t you put clothes out for yourself and Annie. I’ll be along later to see how you are doing.”

  “Yes, Grandmama.” Lavinia returned to her room and began pulling dresses from the armoire. “I am fortunate to have my Aunt Claire,” thought Lavinia. “If anyone can help sort some of this out, she can.”

  Lavinia completed her task and picked up her journal. She sat at her desk and wrote:

  I have a wonderful family who loves me. I am grateful, but I do not believe they understand what it is like to grow up without parents. How many times have I cried in the night ...Where is my mama? Where is my papa? I believe that the next few days will bring out the best and worst in us. Perhaps that is as it should be. Let us all speak freely and put forth our intentions. I pray that wisdom will guide us, and love will bind us. LSR

  Lavinia scooped up Bubbles and went over to the window seat. She leaned her head against the window, and stared out into the dark, cloudy night as raindrops spilled like tears down the glass.

  Lady’s Mantle -“Mother’s Protection”

  Chapter 22

  The next morning Nancy packed their cases, and
Oliver took them downstairs to the carriage. Annie and Lavinia, dressed in their best coats and bonnets, were fussing over Bubbles and Sweet Pea, who had been put into a basket together for the trip. Constance was giving last-minute instructions to Mrs. Lawson.

  “Please make sure that the General has everything he needs. I don’t know how long we will be away, but I expect it will be for a few days.”

  “No need to worry, Mrs. Spencer, I’ll take care of everything,” said Mrs. Lawson matter-of-factly. “No one knows this house better than I.”

  “Bless you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  Oliver lumbered down the stairs with a huge trunk on his back.

  “Oliver, what is that?” asked Constance.

  “It’s mine.” The General appeared at the top of the stairs. “I’m coming.”

  “Edward, I don’t think you are up to this trip.”

  “Nonsense!” The General descended the stairs with George and Martha. “We’re all packed. Let’s go!”

  “Edward, I hired a carriage. There isn’t enough room for George and Martha.”

  “I’ll sit up front with the driver.”

  “The rain turned into sleet last night. It’s very cold outside. No.”

  The General drew himself up to his full height and looked down at his sister. “Do I need to remind you that I have survived the worst elements that God has visited

  upon this earth?”

  Constance stepped forward with equal resolution. “George and Martha are NOT coming,” she said with gritted teeth.

  The General sidestepped Constance and went out to the carriage. He opened the door and Martha jumped inside. “Help me up!” he ordered the driver, who quickly obeyed. George jumped up and sat next to the General. Lavinia and Annie ran out to the carriage with Bubbles and Sweet Pea, and climbed in. Oliver and the driver managed to lift the heavy trunk on top of the carriage. The weather had cleared, and the horses snorted, their breath creating cloudy mists in the air. They stamped their feet in anticipation of the trip.

  “I rather wish I was negotiating custody for my brother,” said Constance in exasperation. “He has become impossible since Timothy died.”

  “We’ve been through this many times before, ma’am. He’ll snap out of it sooner or later, but you best get going. Mr. Lawson thought there may be bad weather later in the day.”

  Constance hugged Mrs. Lawson and went out to the carriage. Martha lay across one seat. Lavinia, Annie, and the pets sat on the other. Constance poked Martha with her parasol.

  “Down!”

  Martha slunk to the floor. The girls lifted up their feet and put them on Martha’s back. The driver helped Constance into the carriage. Mrs. Lawson came out carrying a heavy blanket for the General. He wrapped it around George and himself.

  “Keep bundled up, Sir!” called up Mrs. Lawson.

  The General pulled a small flask from inside his jacket.

  “Liquid heat!” he grinned.

  “Your sister will put you off the coach if she catches you tipping spirits!” scolded Mrs. Lawson.

  “I give the orders around here!” shouted the General. He defiantly uncapped the flask and took a drink.

  “Lord have mercy!” Mrs. Lawson gave the driver a stern look. “Mind you keep an eye on him. I don’t want him falling off!”

  The driver nodded.

  “Onward ho!” shouted the General.

  The driver snapped the reins, and they were off.

  A light snow began to fall, and Constance fretted for the General out in the cold. Martha worked her way up beside Constance, and proceeded to lick the glass with her thick pink tongue, leaving slimy smudges on the window of the carriage door. Bubbles heaved a few times, and got sick on Lavinia. Sweet Pea stretched and wound his way around the carriage. He gagged once, and coughed up a large hairball on Constance’s skirt.

  “This is terrible,” said Constance, dabbing at her skirt. “It’s worse than a traveling circus.”

  Lavinia and Annie worked on cleaning up Bubbles’ mess. Mrs. Lawson had thoughtfully provided wet towels in the food basket. They each ate a sandwich and a cookie.

  “Should we offer the General something?” asked Lavinia.

  “He’ll ask for anything if he needs it,” replied Constance.

  “He seems happy. He’s been singing almost the whole way,” observed Annie.

  “Well, perhaps that is how he is keeping warm,” suggested Lavinia.

  They arrived at Claire’s in the early afternoon. The driver unloaded the cases while the General snored gently against George. When Constance shook the General, snow fell in clumps to the ground.

  “Edward, wake up. We’re here.”

  Startled, the General looked up. “So we are.”

  The driver helped the General down and Constance paid him. “Lavinia, Claire is working. I will take care of our things. Please make sure that the General gets settled.”

  Annie and Lavinia pulled and prodded the General up the stairs and down the hall to his usual room. George and Martha followed them in. A fire had been laid in the fireplace. The General fell face down on the bed, and the girls covered him with a blanket.

  “Boy, he sure is tired!” exclaimed Annie.

  “It was a long trip. We’ll let him sleep.”

  They let themselves quietly out of the room.

  “We should unpack, Lavinia,” said Annie.

  “Yes. I am also looking forward to taking a bath in Aunt Claire’s big tub!”

  “Me too!”

  The girls spent the afternoon playing chess until they were called down for supper. The General had decided to remain in his room, and Constance had not made her way to the dining room yet. It was just Claire, Lavinia, and Annie.

  “How are you, Lavinia?” asked Claire.

  “She’s scared,” said Annie solemnly.

  Claire nodded. “That is understandable. What worries you the most, Lavinia?”

  Lavinia bit her lip. “I fear that Grandmama cannot overcome the ill will that she bears toward Papa, and I will be forced to choose sides. How can I do that?”

  Claire stood up and went over to the window, crossing her arms about herself. She stared out into the night, lost in thought.

  Constance entered. “Claire, why aren’t you at the table?”

  Claire turned and stared at her mother. “Lavinia has been telling me how painful it is to be in the middle of a dispute.” Her eyes misted over. “I am reminded of my sister’s distress.”

  “I sympathize, Claire, but this is not an appropriate time for comparisons.”

  “I can think of no better time than now, Mother.”

  Lavinia held her breath as the two women stared at each other.

  “Very well. Please sit down,” said Constance wearily.

  Claire came over and sat between Annie and Lavinia. Constance took a seat on the opposite side of the table.

  “What would you have me say?” asked Constance.

  “That we have learned something over the years, and holding on to old-fashioned principles no longer serves any purpose.”

  Constance raised her eyebrows. “Making prudent decisions on behalf of one’s children is not old-fashioned. Neither is expecting those decisions to be respected and obeyed.”

  “I do not question your past intentions, Mother. However, your decision caused heartbreak and pain for everyone involved.”

  “You do not know what you are talking about.”

  “Don’t I? You behave as though this tragedy only happened to you. My father died when I was a girl, and my sister shortly thereafter. You were lost in your own grief, and I was sent back to Philadelphia. You had Lavinia, but I had no one —not even you.”

  “I’m sorry you felt that way. Your grandmother was very good to you, Claire, and your education was important. It was your father’s greatest desire that you attend college. I assumed you wanted that as well. You were always your father’s daughter.”

  “And Julia w
as your daughter?”

  “You were both our daughters,” Constance amended. “Family circumstances forced us to live in separate locations. We did the best we could.”

  “Yet you did not accept Alex’s request to lay your differences aside for Julia’s sake. Can you lay them aside now for Lavinia?”

  Constance hesitated. “I did try, Claire. Admittedly, I waited far too long to do so, but Alex did not respond to my letters.”

  “I did not know that, Grandmama.”

  “I chose to keep it to myself, Lavinia, because I didn’t want you to be disappointed if your father failed to contact you. It was just as well, because we received nothing in return.”

  “That may be, Mother, but Alex is asserting himself now. It would be better for everyone if we worked together.”

  “Work together? So he can take Lavinia away to New York? Look what happened there.”

  “That had nothing to do with Alex.”

  Constance stood up, leaned forward, and placed her hands on the table. “It had everything to do with Alex,” she said heatedly. “Do you realize what you are asking me to do? If Alex takes Lavinia because it is his authority to do so, so be it. But if he expects me to give her away, that will never happen. Never!” With that, Constance turned and left the room.

  Claire got up and poured herself a drink at the sideboard. She took a sip and turned to the girls. “Well, that went about as well as I expected.”

  “That was awful,” replied Lavinia mournfully.

  “Mrs. Constance ain’t giving up without a fight, that’s fer sure!” observed Annie.

  Claire came over to sit with the girls. “Mother has a long history with Alex. He makes her feel helpless, and that is why her resentment runs so deep.”

  Lavinia was perplexed. “I don’t understand.”

  “Mother grew up where everyone knew everyone else. Family was everything. Parents decided upon acceptable suitors, and children married people within their social circle. Unfortunately, those who were not included in that circle were viewed as outsiders.”

  “Papa was an outsider?”

  “In a manner of speaking. Although James and Belle knew him very well, Mother and Father didn’t. Alex rushed Julia into marriage against my parents’ wishes. He didn’t respect the rules that my parents lived by, and Father would not tolerate that. Naturally, Mother shared his point of view. It broke their hearts when Julia married Alex, and I’ve often thought that Father simply gave up when he became ill.”