Illusion (Illusion Series Book 1)

by Karla Lopez

  "Yeah, I couldn't sleep, so I thought I would read."

  "You didn't want to read in bed?"

  "I didn't want to wake you."

  The quietness in her voice leads me to believe that she's still upset about yesterday.

  Fuck, I'm still upset about yesterday.

  I walk over to her and sit next to her on the couch, placing her legs on my lap.

  "We need to talk," She tells me firmly. I reach over and tug her hair and tangle my hand in her hair. I pull her face towards mine and steal a kiss from her. She gasps into my mouth and I take that as an opportunity to slide my tongue inside her mouth. She begins to kiss me, hungrier. I needed to kiss her after what she told me last night, the way she said we should go our separate ways. Even though I know that one day Emma and I are going to have a lot to overcome I never intend on giving her up.

  She will probably be the one to walk away and give up on us because I'm not the man that she truly needs. I'm a selfish man keeping a treasure that isn't his.

  Emma

  Austin’s lips against mine feel like everything you've ever wanted wrapped in one. We have been kissing for a while that now I feel his torso against my opened thighs. As much as it feels good to have his tongue against mine and both us hungrily kissing each other, I'm still pretty mad. He has no right to think that a kiss can fix our fight from yesterday. I push at his shoulder to break our kiss and make eye contact with him. His eyes give off lust and nervousness. I know he's expecting me to end our relationship. I also know I shouldn't have said that, but I was so mad at him. I still am, but I can't keep throwing that in his face.

  His biggest insecurity is that I will leave him, and I don't want to keep making that insecurity deeper. I cup his face and his eyes flush with relief. I instantly feel guilty.

  I feel guilty for making our relationship seem so disposable, guilty about hanging with Kyle, guilty for being attracted to Kyle...I'm all kinds of guilty. It seems that we make as many steps backwards as we do forward.

  Austin places his forehead against my chest. The way I'm making him feel causes my anger to simmer a little, but man, there's still so much to talk about. Can we even make it? Is a relationship supposed to be this hard? I have nothing to compare it to. I was hardly old enough to see my parent's relationship have ups and downs. None of my uncles have had any actual relationships. With Lauren and Luke, they hardly fight, but that could be because they're in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, but it seems Austin and I never had that phase.

  It's like we skipped that phase and went right into the tough fighting stage of a relationship. Do all couples go through that? Austin interrupts my thoughts when he says, "I have to go take Katelyn to school and Lucy to the doctors."

  Lucy?

  Katelyn?

  It's like he read my thoughts when he adds, "They're my sisters. Will you come with me?" I stare at him surprised. Austin doesn't bring up his family, like ever. The only things I do know is that Kyle is his stepbrother, his dad is a lawyer, which I found out through Kyle. And that his mom and sister died nine years ago.

  I nod because maybe this is a good step in the right direction, even though I'm still pretty mad at him and we still do need to talk, I'm still meeting some of his family.

  I'm pretty certain his family has no clue I exist, but I mean I met his friends, which he talks way more about then his family so that's a good thing that I’ve already met them. We waste no time in getting ready. Austin is already dressed in yesterday's clothes that he never took off. He watches me very closely from the door in my room as I change, it's like he's scared to say the wrong thing. I change into black leggings and a white sheer t-shirt and a black bralette underneath it. I put my black chucks on and put my hair in a bun. I decide against makeup only because I don't really care for it today.

  When we arrive at Austin's house, I can hardly keep my mouth shut. He lives in a mansion, but one of those that look like something out of The freaking Great Gatsby or a celebrity's home. I know Austin himself has money because of how successful his books are, and the way Kyle carries himself, he reeks money too, but this is on another level. This is a trust fund rich for like six generations. Austin must read my face because he clarifies, "My father is rich. Yes, I'm well off because of my career, but I'm not rich."

  "Right." The sarcasm drips from the tone in my response and I instantly regret it.

  "I'm serious, Emma. I fucking hate money and the power of it. This is one among other reasons why I don't want you to ever come here."

  Before I can respond to him a petite woman walks out the front door. She looks too young to ever pass as Austin's mom and I'm guessing she's Kyle's mom as she resembles him. I'm guessing she had Kyle young because she barely looks in her late thirties and her son is twenty-two. She gives us a big smile as we make our way to her. She's holding a young blond curly hair child against her shoulder and instantly, I fall in love. I have an overwhelming love for children and seeing the small child brings me warmth. The woman smiles towards me.

  "Hello I'm Amy, Austin's stepmother. You must be?"

  Austin clears his throat before he answers, "This Emma, my girlfriend." As soon as she hears my name her eyes flicker towards Austin as if it's not the first time. This makes me feel uneasy. She recovers her reaction and turns her smile into a beaming welcome, "Wow, it's lovely to meet you. Austin never brings any girls home, so it's a bit of a surprise, but it's still a pleasure to meet you."

  "Thank you, you too." I give her a sincere smile.

  The child begins to cry hysterically, and Austin walks over to her and grabs the child from her arms, "Hey baby, come with me." Immediately the baby stops crying, and she lays her head against Austin's shoulder, which the sight of both of them makes my heart melt. "I swear he's the baby whisperer. He's so good with her." His stepmom says with so much gratitude. I feel overwhelmed with emotion suddenly knowing how great of guy Austin really is.

  Before any of us can get another word in Kyle walks out the front door and I instantly regret coming along. Austin grows stiff and his whole demeanor changes and becomes unfriendly. Austin walks back to my side as he rubs the baby's back and even though his gesture is soft towards her, his eyes are hard as stone. I try to avoid eye contact with Kyle and just look down. Everyone is silent. After a beat of uncomfortableness, Kyle speaks up, "Hey Emma." I really wished he wouldn't have said anything especially since he doesn't even address Austin. I give him a faint smile, but I choose not to answer for mine and Austin's relationship sake. It's taking too much of a beating this past week. Who am I kidding the whole time we've known each other.

  His mom must sense the tension because she grabs his shoulder and mumbles that they should go. Kyle doesn't keep his eyes off of me, but I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I feel like sometimes he's so clueless. "I'll see you around, Emma." With those last words Kyle throws my way, he leaves with his mother into her Range Rover. I feel so uneasy about this whole situation and I'm pretty sure Austin’s stepmother won't like me very much after seeing them together with me.

  Without another word Austin lays the little girl into the back seat and she begins to cry so hard. Austin soothes her, "Shh, baby. It's okay, I'm just getting your car seat." She begins to cry even harder chanting 'no', but Austin ignores her and sets up her car seat into the back of his convertible Charger. I'm pretty sure this car isn't made for kids with car seats, but he still manages. After he picks her up again and places her into the car seat, she continues to cry. I watch as her blue crying eyes search Austin's face as she continues to whine. "Baby, I know you're sick, but I can't carry you. I need to drive."

  She whimpers like he told her the most tragic thing.

  He rubs her forehead and there's something about seeing Austin interact with her that makes me fall even more in love with him.

  Love?

  Fall even more in love?

  The thought that I just had hits me so hard that I feel the bile in my throat. Love is too fucki
ng much; I can't handle that. I feel like I can't breathe. I turn my body towards the front as Austin gets into the seat next to me. I turn my head towards the window terrified of looking at him. I feel like I might cry if I look at him. The fact that he's mad about Kyle helps at the moment so he doesn't speak or touch me, which is for the best right now.

  I decide instantly to ignore my comment about loving him. There's no possible way that I can actually love him. I don't even know what love is. Love consumes you whole with so many emotions, it makes you feel crazy about the other person. Makes you feel like you can't live without the other person. Does Austin make me feel that?

  Absolutely freaking not.

  Emma

  WE SIT IN THE car waiting for his sister Katelyn to come out. Lucy is the younger sister who is a beautiful creature and has settled down only to have fallen asleep. We've been waiting twenty minutes in the driveway for Katelyn, but Austin doesn't seem to mind at all. He's been silent the entire time and I know it's because of Kyle. I don't have the courage to speak up because of the fear of what might come out of my mouth. My mind is all over the place with the comment I made earlier that now we're clearly ignoring now.

  I have to think of something because if I don’t, Austin will think my silence is because I'm guilty which I partially am. Then his mind will start to wonder, and it will be harder for him to ever come to the idea of Kyle and I being friends. I reach over and slip my hand into his. He doesn't pull away, but he makes eye contact and his gaze is anything but friendly. I lean into him and cup his face, placing my forehead on his and his eyes change from angry to relief and truthfully, I’m feeling all the same emotions.

  I place my lips on his and our kiss is slow and soft. It feels more intimate then ever and I begin to panic that I just confessed my love that isn't really love by kissing him like that.

  So, I break our kiss way too soon and look out the window. His sister is making her way towards us and I feel some sort of relief. Austin stares at me with curious eyes but doesn't say anything because his sister jumps into the back seat.

  "Austin, who's this?"

  "Hi to you too," He responses with humor.

  "Who are you?" She addresses me now and I look at her features. She has beautiful cream flawless skin and she looks like her mother, but unlike Kyle and their mother, she has long brown hair. I smile at her before I get a chance to respond, Austin answers instead, "Don't be rude. This is Emma, my girlfriend."

  Her eyes become wide, "You have a girlfriend. What the hell?"

  "Language," Austin says firmly, earning an eye roll.

  Austin starts the car and begins the drive towards Katelyn's school. With excitement she continues to rant and ask questions, "You're so pretty Emma. Can I ask you something?"

  I smile at her, "Of course."

  "How old are you?"

  I look over at Austin. I'm not sure he wants to answer that considering that she's only two years younger than me. Austin makes eye contact with her through the rearview mirror and answers her, "Eighteen." Her mouth falls open.

  "Okay, but you were giving me a hard time because my boyfriend is nineteen and three years older than me yet, your girlfriend is eighteen. Two years older than me, may I remind you. You're SIX years older than her."

  Austin gives her a pointed look and I just want to burst out laughing because she really did catch him there. It's news to me about her boyfriend, but that's no surprise considering that he never talks about his family and I don’t even know about her. "Listen Kate first, she's legal, second, our father doesn't control me."

  "You got that right," she whispers, and dread is spread throughout my whole body. A gloomy wake takes over in the silence of the car and I have a strong feeling Katelyn feels the same way about their father as Austin does.

  "Also why did you give Michael five grand?" She asks with her brows up expecting an answer. Five grand is a lot of money for us common people I think to myself.

  "Fucking Michael can never shut his mouth. Tell him that next time I see him he owes me. That should scare him."

  "Leave him alone. Why did you give him so much money to take me out on a date? You know I don't care about materialistic stuff."

  "I know, I gave it to him for his college classes. He's struggling to pay for them, so I thought I could help out." She gives him a grateful gaze with a smile. My heart tightens in my chest that Austin cares that much for other people's struggles. We make it to her school without another word. She says her goodbyes to us and makes her way inside her school. I try to not make eye contact with Austin only because I'm scared. I kind of wish Katelyn would have tagged along that way I had an easy escape to this mess called our relationship.

  We're sitting in Lucy's PEDs office. I'm carrying her against my shoulder, and she lays so peacefully asleep. I stare at her in awe. Every few minutes Austin looks over at us from the chair next to me and he gives that look with that certain emotion I thought I felt earlier. He's filling out the paperwork like he's done it a hundred times. He even has a copy of her insurance card. He looks like a professional at the dad gig only he isn't a dad. He would be an amazing dad one day.

  "Lucy Jacobs." The nurse calls from the hallway and we stand to make our way to her. Austin ends up grabbing Lucy from me because they're going to take her weight and her waking up to a stranger wouldn't be good.

  She fusses a bit when they take her weight and temperature but relaxes as soon as she catches Austin in her view. It amazes me how much this little girl needs Austin. They place us inside a room to wait for the doctor while Austin walks back and forth between the small room rubbing Lucy's back. She has a fever of 102 and Austin's face shows the face of a dad in distress of his sick child and I feel myself sinking deeper into that one emotion.

  It’s eating at me.

  A young woman doctor walks in and shakes hands with Austin completely ignoring my presence. Maybe she ignored me because she knows Austin is Lucy's brother and I have no relation to the child, but then she says, "Hey Austin, how about we put her on the bed so I can check her out." It’s odd the doctor referred to him by his middle name instead of his first name. It’s like they’re well acquainted. Austin doesn’t seem to notice. The doctor even lays her hand on his shoulder for comfort and I'm so livid I might explode. My blood is boiling. Who does she think she is to be flirting with him when I'm clearly right here?

  I stand behind Austin and place my hand on his side and my head on his arm to look over to Lucy while the doctor is checking her out. The doctor stares at our handholding and makes a weird face. Something seems off like she is actually seeing me for the first time.

  "She has a double ear infection." She says professionally, a different tone than what she used in the beginning when she first walked in before she saw me. I continue to hold Austin's hand and arm while she's explaining the medication and whatnot, but I tune them out both. I'm paying attention to how her demeanor changes once she realizes I’m there.

  I can see how she's trying to avoid eye contact with both of us. Something changes in the atmosphere which only angers me more because the chances of Austin telling me are slim to none. After the doctor leaves and says her goodbye to Lucy which she wakes up in the process, she still ignores my presence as she leaves. Austin grabs Lucy and cuddles her until she's asleep and we're finally back in the car.

  Everything that happened in that office was weird. At first, I felt like I was the third man out of the discussion then there was flirting and I'm itching to say something to Austin, but I don't. I'm tired of fighting. I feel like a new problem arises every other day. It's too much. We drive the way to my house in silence and Austin keeps making glances my way. I know he knows there's something wrong, but I wonder why he hasn't asked. Austin isn't one to shy away from an argument where we share what we're feeling.

  When we get to my house, I expect him to drop me off considering I have work in half an hour, but he gets off and Lucy too with her diaper bag. And fuck, he looks so sexy with a ki
d that he knows how to care for and her diaper bag. The only thing that would complete the look would be a ring on his left hand.

  What the hell?

  I'm starting to lose my mind with how I'm allowing these thoughts to even have a spotlight in my brain. I don't say anything till I make it inside. "What are you doing?"

  "You said your dad and uncles were away for a conference, well I'm staying."

  "Oh, and you invite yourself?" I spit out and I know I'm being a brat, but I'm angry. At everything that we always fight about the old and the new.

  "Yes, we don't always get to spend time together."

  "I wonder why." The accusation drips in my voice.

  He gives me a pointed look that shows everything he's feeling and I'm instantly exhausted of fighting. "What the fuck is your problem Emma?"

  "Apart from everything that we were fighting about this morning, your interaction this morning, how again I just found out about your whole family. Oh, and please let's not forget about the flirty doctor. Don't think I didn't notice her touching you and flirting with you like it was all too familiar.”

  Austin opens his mouth and his face is blank. Before his eyes shimmer with anger, but before he says what's on his mind Lucy begins to cry. Which is perfect timing considering I have to go to work and this is my escape. He soothes her and says, "I'm going to go put her to bed in your room." He makes his way down the hall towards my room when I throw over my shoulder, "Whatever Austin. I have to go. I have a life too."

  I walk out the door before hearing his response. Shit, this relationship is going down the drain sooner than I ever thought.

  Austin

  I wake up to my phone beeping in my pocket and it takes me a few minutes to realize that I'm not in my bedroom. I'm in Emma's bed. I turn to the side expecting to see Emma, but I see a small figure with blond curls. I remember now that I fell asleep with Lucy on Emma's bed after she stormed off. Which just thinking about it makes me fucking pissed. My phone begins to beep again and it's Amy and her voice comes out breathless, "Austin, how is sweet Lu doing?"