Lindsey, Johanna - Prisoner Of My Desire
Page 18
sorry for him.?
?Sorry for him?? Rowena said incredulously.
?Did he bash you on the head, Mildred, ere he brought you here??
Mildred chuckled.
?Nay, he dragged me about the countryside with his army in search of his missing
betrothed, but I swear he thought little of Lady Isabella the while he looked
for her. Never did he seem disappointed when each place he inquired at turned
out to have no word of her passing. But you should have seen him when the
messenger who came from Fulkhurst each day was even a little late in arriving.
Lord Warrick would send out dozens of men to find him, and when the newsbearer
did arrive, woe betide him if he had no word from John Giffard.?
Rowena stiffened upon hearing that name.
?John? But I thought he was only the jailer here. What news could Warrick want
from him??
Mildred gave her a look that said plainly, Do not play dense.
?What else??
?But Warrick did not know John had the care of me in the dungeon.?
?How could he not know when he ordered it??
?He did? But I thought Sir Robert??
Rowena paused as the implications of what Mildred had said occurred to her.
Warrick had put her in his dungeon not to suffer, thenother than with her own
imaginings? Those imaginings had been terrible, true, but her cell had been like
a palace compared to what it would have been like without John as her keeper.
Could Warrick not know how kindhearted John was? Nay, John?s goodness was writ
all over him, sensed at a glance. To know him was to know he would never hurt a
soul.
Suddenly she cried out almost painfully ?I do not understand! Why would he
assure I was well cared for before he knew I carried his child??
Mildred?s brown eyes flared wide.
?So it happened, and in only those few days of trying? Are you ailing with it? I
have some fine remedies for that, and for the swelling that might come later.?
Rowena dismissed Mildred?s offer impatiently.
?Nay, no symptoms other than the most obvious of missing my monthly time.?
?Aye, so it was with your mother, going blithely about her duties as if she were
not?
?Mildred, I do not want to discuss babies when Warrick means to take mine from
me.?
Mildred frowned thoughtfully before asking ?Did he say he would??
?Would I say it had he not? He claims he will take the babe from me when it is
born, as Ias I took it from him. Like for like.?
?Do you want it??
?Of course I want it.
?Tis mine!?
?And his,? Mildred pointed out calmly.
?But he did not want the making of it.?
?Neither did you.?
?But he wants it now only to hurt me. That is no reason to keep a child.?
?Aye, and mayhap he will realize that ere long. Tis much too soon to worry about
what he plans eight months from now. Like as not you will be gone from here
before then. Or have you not thought of escape yet??
Rowena snorted.
?Certainly I have. Do you tell me how I might accomplish it when both baileys
have gate guards on constant duty, then I will leave this very day.?
Mildred grinned.
? ?Twill not be that easy. But mayhap Lord Gilbert will help when he learns
where you are. Surely he must know by now that ?twas the Lord of Fulkhurst who
destroyed Kirkburough keep. I am surprised he has not brought his army here
already.?
Rowena gasped.
?Do not even think it! I would rather stay here and suffer Warrick?s every
little cruelty than be back in Gilbert?s control.?
.
?Now that I find interesting. Your stepbrother would merely marry you off again,
while?
?One decrepit old husband was enough for me, Mildred. And Gilbert? before he
left Kirkburough, he kissed me, and ?twas in no way brotherly.?
?Ah, so he finally showed his craving, did he? And there would be more of that
if he had you back, for there is naught to stop him now from taking you to his
bed, particularly while you carry the heir he wanted for Kirkburough. But then,
he is a very handsome man. Mayhap you would not mind.?
?Mildred!?
?So you would mind? Well, then,?tis fortunate that you find yourself unable to
leave here for the while. Tis the safest place you could be to keep Lord Gilbert
from getting you back again.?
That was possibly true, but Rowena wished Mildred did not make it sound as if
she ought to thank Warrick for making her his prisoner and his unwilling leman.
Mildred was not giving this subject the gravity it deserved. In fact, she seemed
not the least bit concerned over Rowena?s plight.
?Why do I sense you are not worried about any of this, Mildred? Think you
Warrick is finished having his revenge against me? I assure you he is not. To
him I am a thief, and although he did not cut off my hands for it, he means to
inflict his little cruelties on me each day I am under his roof.?
?Ah, but I wonder how long his animosity would last did you develop a fondness
for him and let him know it. Not long, I warrant.?
?Now I know he bashed your head, and so hard you do not even remember it.?
Mildred laughed.
?Nay, my lamb. Merely have I had more opportunity to observe him unawares than
you, and I do not think him so very cruel. A cruel man would have had you
tortured to death and watched every minute of it. Lord Warrick has instead given
you back like for like.?
?He denies my status, has declared me a serf.?
?He was thought one by us and treated just so,? Mildred reminded her.
?But do you ask me, the man is obsessed with you, and for reasons other than
revenge. He wants the revenge, surely. Tis his nature now to have it. But mayhap
it does not sit well with him in this instance. You are a woman after all, and
all of his enemies thus far have been men. He knows how to deal with them. With
you he does not.?
?These speculations do not help me, Mildred,? Rowena said irritably.
?Then you have not thought of using a wornan?s weapons against him, have you??
?What weapons??
?Your beauty. His lust. Then even marriage will be an option, with the child as
an added inducement.?
?He would never!?
?Aye, he could be brought to it, if he wants you badly enough. And you can make
him want you that much. You could even make him love you if you did but try.?
Love? What would Warrick be like with that tender emotion fixed in his heart?
Would he be as fierce in love as he was in hate? Nay, what was wrong with her?
To even think of it was absurd.
But Mildred had not finished.
?Most ladies loathe the marriage bed, and small wonder if they are wed to
rutting louts who use them only for breeding, while taking their own pleasures
elsewhere. But you already know what the marriage bed would be like with this
lord. And for a husband, you would be hard pressed to find one as well matched
to you in estate, who is also young, a power to reckon with, virileas you can
attestand not too ugly.?
?He is not ugly,? Rowena protested without thinking.
?He is even very handsome when? he? smiles.?
She glowered then
to realize she had just said something in that man?s favor.
?You have gone mad, Mildred, and these notions are pure fancy. Warrick wants
naught from me but the babe I stole from him and my eternal atonement for that
theft. The man despises the very sight of me.?
?More like the very sight of you stirs his lust, and that is what he despises
just now. But you miss my point. I did not say the idea of marriage would come
easily to him, only that ?tis possible to bring him ?round to thinking of it.
First you must rid him of his animosity toward you, and that will take effort on
your part.?
?That would take a miracle.?
?Nay, merely set him to thinking of other things than what was done to him.
Confound him. Do not do what he expects. Deliberately entice him. If he can be
made to think you want him, despite his treatment of you thus far, all the
better. That would completely baffle him, and he will spend more time wondering
about it than thinking up those little cruelties you mentioned. Are you willing
to try??
?I can foresee only making a fool of myself should I do so. Methinks you have
deluded yourself with wishful thinking, Mildred.?
?And if I have not? Do you like the treatment you get from him now??
Rowena recalled last night with a shudder, the shame of being made to begthe
unwanted pleasure that begging had gotten her.
?Nay,l? she said in a whisper.
?Then use your weapons to change it. Show him the maid you were before the d?Ambrays?
coming. Your winsome ways were nigh impossible to resist, as any man who knew
you then can attest.?
?I do not think I would know how to be that carefree, happy girl again.?
Mildred leaned over to give her a brief, sympathetic hug.
?I know, my sweet one. A pretense is all that is necessary. Can you manage that??
?Possibly.?
?Then will you try??
?I needs think oh this first. I am not sure I want more of Warrick?s attention
than I already have.?
?That is not like to change either way.?
Rowena?s chin rose stubbornly.
?And I am not sure either that I want to stop hating him.?
Mildred chuckled.
?Then do not. Merely keep him from being aware of your true feelings. He is the
one who wears his moods on his face, not you, so that should not be hard for you.
But be aware that once he changes and begins to court your favor, you may become
as caught up in the game as he and find yourself other than hating him.?
The thought of Warrick de Chaville courting her was so ridiculous, Rowena did
not bother to argue against the likelihood of it ever happening, or of her
feeling differently than she did now. Besides, she was heartily sick of the
subject, and so changed it.
?How is it we have this room to ourselves, Mildred? Tis the sewing room, is it
not??
?Aye, but I sent the women off to experiment with a new dye.?
Rowena laughed at Mildred?s mischievous look.
?Not that awful green we made last year??
?Exactly. But I did not tell them ?twas awful. I told them to expect a most
beautiful shade, so they would be long in trying to create it. Later I will
confess I forgot to mention the addition of yellow, which brightened the shade
to that leaf green we ended with.?
?Have you the direction of the sewing women, then, that you can order them??
?Nay, but the castlefolk are wary of me in my new position as maid to both of
the lord?s daughters. They know not the extent of my authority, and so do my
bidding without question.?
?And how do you like serving his daughters??
Mildred snorted.
?Two more haughty, selfcentered bitches you never met. ?Twas no favor Lord
Warrick did me with that position, but to be fair, I doubt he knows how truly
spoiled his daughters are. They brag readily enough that he is never here to
correct them, and you and I know why that is so.?
?Aye, his damn war with Gilbert and heaven knows who else. Has aught been said
of when he will leave again??
?Do not sound so hopeful, my lamb. He needs be present for you to work your
wiles on him to better your own lot. Does he leave soon, your load will not be
lightened the while he is gone.?
?Nay, ?twould be cut in half. I could easily live with that.?
?And what if he thinks to stick you back in the dungeon instead, to assure you
will still be his prisoner when he returns??
That was a distinct possibility, and without the guarantee that she would have
John Giffard again as a guard. But the alternative, to actually try and entice
that man? she did not care to think on it yet, could not.
She stood up in agitation, saying ?Best I leave ere we are found out and both
punished.?
Mildred protested.
?This is the women?s floor. He is not likely to come up?
?He did last eventide/?
Rowena cut in as she headed for the door. But there she stopped, and it was a
moment before she turned to ask with a thoughtful frown ?What did you mean/tis
his nature now to have revenge??
?Have you heard naught about what occurred here sixteen years ago??
?Warrick made mention of another holding Fulkhurst long ago. Is that what you
speak of??
?Aye. Lord Warrick was not here at the time, was fostered with another lord, or
he would no doubt be as dead as his family.?
?Was it a siege??
?Nay, treachery. As I was told, a baron, Sir Edward Bainart by name, coveted
Fulkhurst, as well as the Lady Elisabeth, Warrick?s mother. Bainart called
himself friend to the family, his desires unknown to them, and during one of his
visits, he acted to have what he wanted. He waited until all slept, then sent
his own small band of men to dispatch the Fulkhurst men atarms and any servants
who thought to interfere. He then sneaked into the solar and murdered Warrick?s
father in his own bed, with the Lady Elisabeth as witness. The stupid man
thought she would be too afeared to give him trouble after that, but he had not
counted on how much she had loved her husband. She reviled him most foully
before his men, enraging him so that he gave her to them, all of them; and,
ignorant churls that they were, they killed her through their rough handling.
Warrick?s two sisters, one younger than he, one older, thought the same fate
would be theirs and jumped oft the parapet together, the one dying instantly,
the other broken of body, but lingering nigh a week in horrible pain ere she
died, too.?
Rowena knew now wherein Mildred found sympathy for Warrick.
?I wish you had not told me this.?
? Tis wisest to know your enemy, and a simple question can bring a wealth of
information when you are in a room full of gossiping women. Lord Warrick was
only six and ten when the news reached him that Fulkhurst was in the hands of
another, his family all dead. ?Twas another six months ere he learned the full
details, and twice during that time attempts were made on his own life. He was,
after all, still heir to Fulkhurst, though without the aid of king or an army of
his own to win it back. Bainart knew this and so dismissed Warrick as a threat.
He did not know of Wa
rrick?s one remaining resource, a betrothal made in his
youth and still in effect. He was too young to do aught about it then, but the
very day he was knighted, he rode straightaway to claim his bride, and with her
dower lands to supply men, and additional aid from her father?
?He won back Fulkhurst??
?Aye.?
?And killed Bainart??
?With his own hands. But that was not enough. His inability to act immediately
to avenge his family had allowed his hate to fester for those two years.
Fulkhurst had declined in prosperity because many of the servants had been
maimed or killed under Bainart?s rule. What Warrick had won back was a sorry
estate.?
?And so Bainart?s other properties became targets/?
Rowena guessed.
?Exactly. It took three years, but in the end, all of Bainart?s holdings were
added to Fulkhurst, doubling it in size. Lord Warrick lost his first wife and
took another during that time, with an eye to increasing his resources in the
second marriage, but with a more comely maid than his first wife had been.?
?Had he new enemies by then, that he needed an even larger army??
?Nay, but he had made a vow that no one would ever do him an ill again without
paying for it tenfold. Tis a vow he has kept ever since, and it has earned him a
reputation of swift retribution for all trespasses. Tis a vow that has involved
him in one war after another, year after year, for he will not let the slightest
offense pass.?
? ?Tis what finally turned him into the cruel monster he is today,? Rowena
remarked bitterly.
?Nay, how he is today is how he was from the day he learned of the destruction
of his whole family. Twas his grief and despair that changed him from the boy he
was to the man he is. They say there is no comparison between the two, that the
boy was kind, loving, full of mischief and the joyous exuberance of youth.?
?And the man is cold, heartless?
?But now you know why, and I doubt not that if he changed once, he can change
again.?
?Or not.?
?Where is the optimism of your own youth??
?Destroyed at the hands of the d?Ambrays.?
?Then nurture it back to life, my lamb, for you have an opportunity here to
secure your own futureand heal a man who has lived too long with demons from his
past. A worthy endeavor do you ask me.?
?I did not ask you,? Rowena said with growing annoyance.