Free Falling

by Makenzie Smith

  “Crazy,” he immediately said. “Always into something. Messing with something. Kept us on our toes though.” He grinned over at me. “Could always count on him to lift your spirits. Not a mean bone in his body.”

  That sounded like him.

  “I’ve got some pictures in the house if you wanna see.”

  “I’d love to,” I said.

  Chapter 22

  On the old, worn couch, Theodore and I flipped through aged photo albums. He had many pictures of Wally—all bony elbows and skinny legs. Most of the other people in the photos Theo recognized, but couldn’t quite remember their names. Sometimes he’d call the same person by several different ones.

  For instance, the tiny, blonde-haired boy that I knew was Trey, was called Derek, Jared another time, and Trey only once. For some reason this brought me pleasure. Trey, who thought he was the shit, was outshined by Wally in the eyes of his grandfather.

  While we were still looking, I heard raised voices down the hallway. Wally and a woman were arguing. They were behind a closed door, so I couldn’t be sure what it was about, but Wally was getting heated.

  I was getting nervous, unsure if it was okay that I was inside and asked Theodore.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said as if I was crazy. “Of course, it’s fine.”

  I tried to believe him, but was still anxious. The clock on the wall told me that thirty minutes had passed since I’d arrived. Wally must have really been distressed to leave me alone for so long.

  A few more minutes ticked by before I heard the door open and his heavy footfalls echo down the hall. I tensed and looked up. He didn’t see me at first, staring down at his feet, but when he did, he stilled.

  “What are you doing?” he asked too fiercely.

  “I…uh…”

  “I invited her in,” Theodore said. “Leaving her out there in the heat. You should be ashamed, Wally.”

  Some of the fury left his eyes and he did look a little ashamed. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” he said. “But can you give us some privacy?”

  “Sure,” I said and went to stand.

  “We’re busy, Wally,” his grandfather said.

  “This is kind of important,” Wally said.

  “Then just say it in front of her,” he said, giving his voice an authoritative edge. “I’m not making her sit outside while you scold me.”

  “Fine,” he said with a tight lip. He braced his hands on the back of the loveseat in front of us. I’d never seen him look more agitated or aggressive. “You have to start taking your medicine Pawpaw.”

  “I am.”

  “No, you aren’t.”

  “Wally, I just told you that I am.”

  “Mom told me,” he said. “She said that she had to pick you up from another store today. Half way across town! You didn’t even know how you’d gotten there. What do you think they’ll do if this keeps happening? Do you want to end up in a home?”

  Silence followed his words. Hard, thick silence. I looked away from them both and wanted to leave. This was clearly a conversation not meant for me.

  His mother appeared at the edge of the living room. “Kristen,” she said. “Do you mind helping me with something?”

  I didn’t even respond. I just went to her. As I passed Wally, his eyes cut to me, and I knew that he’d want to have words with me.

  I’d never officially met his mother. She knew who I was. I knew her. But every time we’d been in the same place, I hadn’t been dating her son; I’d been dating her nephew.

  “It’s good to see you,” she said once we were in the kitchen.

  “You, too.”

  The tension was heavy, and we didn’t speak. She didn’t even bother keeping up the rouse of needing my help. We situated ourselves on different surfaces—her against the counter, me against the rickety stove.

  Out of nowhere, as if she just needed to get it all off her chest, she said, “He’s better on the medicine. He remembers. He’s been able to live here all on his own. But he won’t keep taking it. It makes him feel weak or something. I don’t know.”

  She began pacing. “I can’t move back here. Not now. No one else can live with him either. Not full time. And that’s what he’d need. Lisa will want to put him in a nursing home. I know she will. That’ll kill him. He’ll go there and die.”

  Tears came then. She choked on them and turned away from me, bracing herself against the kitchen sink. I stood frozen. I had no words of comfort to give. All she’d said was probably true.

  After a few awkward minutes, Wally came in and immediately went to her. He was murmuring things to her, promises that he couldn’t keep. Her sniffles and gentle cries were dying down, and I snuck out the door, knowing that this was private too.

  I’d hoped to sneak back to the car, but Theodore called my name. Well, he called me Kitty, but it was close enough. I hesitated, but went to him.

  “I found some more pictures,” he said, smiling.

  I sat by him on the couch but didn’t really look at them, too occupied with my thoughts. If the medicine did actually make him better, why wouldn’t he want to take it? I was young when my grandmother passed, not really understanding how serious and heartbreaking the disease was. But if I was in this situation now, I’d tell her the same thing that Wally was telling Theodore.

  “You should take your medicine,” I told him. He started to argue with me, but I cut him off. “My grandmother dealt with this, too. They love you,” I said, nodding towards the kitchen. “They really do want what’s best. You might not have that many more years left, Theo.”

  I didn’t know if the harshness would work, but after he thought it over, he sighed.

  “On the medicine, I feel like me, but not me. Everything is fuzzy. Distant.” His hand came out, and he rocked it back and forth to reiterate the feeling of being unbalanced.

  “I’m not used to this Kitty, needing something to make me feel like a normal person, relying on other people.”

  “I know,” I said, and gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

  It was like that’s what he needed to hear from someone. I’m sorry. His situation sucked. Maybe he just needed someone to acknowledge how bad it did.

  “Alright,” he said. “Go get Wally for me.” I found him in the kitchen, still quietly talking with his mother.

  “Uh, Theodore or your Pawpaw wants to talk with you,” I said.

  He didn’t even look at me, just wiped his eyes and walked past. I tried to ignore the sting of his coldness and went to the porch.

  A few minutes later, they both met me out there. “Loved meeting you, Kitty,” Theodore said.

  “You too, Theo,” I said, shaking his hand.

  “Bye Pawpaw,” Wally said, giving him a hug.

  After Theodore went back inside, the two of us walked to Wally’s car. He stopped me before I got in, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

  It was a long hug, his heavy breaths deep in my ear. Just before he let me go, he gave me an extra squeeze. “Thank you,” he said.

  On the drive home, he kept his hand against my leg, a declaration of his appreciation. And I knew then, there was nothing that I wouldn’t do for him. Nothing.

  Chapter 23

  Once a month my animal shelter hosted an adoption day. We went all out, putting bows or ribbons on the dogs and cats. Food was served all day long. We even gave away free pet beds and bowls to get new owners started.

  Sometimes they were successful and we’d clear out several of our kennels. Sometimes not so much. Running an animal shelter was fun, but it also sucked at times. I hated having to turn away stray pets because I didn’t have the room to house more. My home, and several others, had served as a “foster care” for dogs or cats until vacancies came open, but even that wasn’t enough.

  We’d been having a very good year, able to take in nearly all of them. It was large part due to some of the local businesses helping support our cause. Pet stores donated items and offered incentives. Other places
put fliers of our animals in their windows or at their registers.

  Currently, we had a few spaces open. If we found more good homes this weekend, I’d probably be able to take in every pet that came to us for the next few months.

  Wally had never been to our adoption day, but I wanted him to. I suppose a part of me wanted him to feel proud of me and my job like I was of his. I loved telling people that he was a professional sky-diver. The dedication and guts he had was remarkable. But every time I hinted at it, he never took the bait. So finally, I just outright asked him.

  “Come volunteer at the shelter with me this weekend,” I told him.

  “Uh…” He thought long and hard about it. “Am I going to have to shovel shit or something gross?”

  “No,” I said. “Well. Maybe. It depends on how excited the dogs get.”

  He pulled a face, not liking the idea.

  “Please,” I said. “Mostly, you’ll just be helping people fill out paperwork, or showing off our animals, maybe cooking, stuff like that.”

  He thought about it some more. “Okay,” he said, with an over-exaggerated sigh. But then he smiled, pulling me into his arms. “Only if you come somewhere with me on Sunday though.”

  “And where is that?”

  “Nope. Not telling. Blindly agree or I’m out,” he said.

  “Fine,” I huffed. “I guess I trust you.”

  Smiling as I pulled complimentary cokes and bottles of water out of a cooler, I watched Wally. He was lying on the grass laughing—a deep, honest sound, filling up the backyard of the shelter. Puppies and dogs were running all over him, jumping on his stomach, licking his face. My cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so hard.

  “Who’s that?” Mamie asked me.

  “Oh, that’s Wally,” I said to her and Sheila, who was standing next to her. “I’ve told you about him. That’s the guy I’ve been dating for the last few months.”

  “He’s not like I pictured him,” she said.

  “How’d you picture him?”

  “His hair was shorter.”

  I chuckled. “Well, I’ll tell him he needs to cut it.” I wouldn’t. I loved his hair—always messy, falling in semi-wavy locks along his ears and neck.

  “You seem happy,” Sheila said with a genuine smile.

  “I am. I really am,” I said. “It’s funny, really. Things with the two of us just sort of happened. It was so random. Completely unlike anything I normally do. But I’m so glad I did.” I paused, still smiling and looked down at my feet, almost as if I was embarrassed or shy. “I’ve never felt this way before.” It felt good to say it—to admit out loud what my heart was feeling.

  “Aww,” Mamie grinned, giving my arm a good push. “This is just the cutest thing.”

  “Alright, shut up,” I said, waving them away. They left me alone with my thoughts.

  It was true. I never had felt this way. Normally, I was guarded with the men I’d dated, unwilling to let my true emotions show for fear of being rejected or hurt. It was easier to stomach a breakup when you never let your walls down.

  But with Wally, that hadn’t happened. From the beginning, I’d felt like a girl with a crush, excited and eager to spend any time with him, and it’d stayed that way. His attention made me feel special. Loved. Wanting to be near him, I went out to the yard to help corral dogs.

  “Punks,” he said as I approached. “This is hard work! Puppies don’t give a shit. They’re running me ragged.”

  “C’mon,” I laughed. “Let’s put them back in their pens.”

  Per usual, the youngest dogs were adopted first. But an older one got lucky and went to a young family looking for one already housebroken. The day had been a success, and watching Wally play with puppies had made it even better. Seeing him so attentive and sweet with the animals made my heart swell.

  The next day, Sunday, I rode with him to a homeless shelter.

  Wally volunteered there. The workers knew his name. He had his own apron. Some of the people lining up for food or other goods asked him how he had been doing.

  “How long have you been doing this?” I asked, helping him prepare the food assembly line. There wasn’t a person we saw that didn’t give him a familiar smile or an enthusiastic handshake.

  “Don’t know,” he shrugged. “A while I guess.”

  He had. I’d cornered one of the other volunteers and asked. Years. Years, he’d been coming here, helping when he could, donating his time, his energy. No one knew about it. He never told anyone. It was just something that he felt compelled to do. “Why?” I asked him.

  The question put him off. It wasn’t meant to. I was honestly just curious about his motives and where his heart laid in all of this.

  “I guess…” he started, beginning to say something but thinking better of it. “I guess…” he tried again. “Well, you know my dad and I don’t talk,” he said. I nodded. “He wasn’t around much when I was growing up. It was pretty much just my mom and me. And we, uh, we relied on some of these places a few times. My grandparents were good to us, but there was a tough year here and there. I guess I just feel like I should give that back to people.”

  Not caring about the people mulling about, I grabbed his face, cradling his jaw, and turned him towards me. “You are so wonderful,” I said, then kissed him good.

  Even though he tried to hide it, for the first time I saw Wally blush.

  Chapter 24

  On our way home from the homeless shelter, I felt myself falling deeper. He had opened himself up to me. I’d met his mysterious grandfather that he kept hidden away, and knew firsthand the deep level of devotion he had for him. He’d taken me to the homeless shelter where he volunteered. And even though he pretended like it was nothing, I knew that this was a deeply personal thing to him, something that he didn’t share with anyone.

  My feelings were so much greater than mere infatuation. I knew that now. Whereas before I was content with just seeing where this went; now I wanted us to succeed. I wanted us to be that couple that my friends looked at and said, “I wish I had what she does,” with a mirthful sigh.

  Wally had a strength that I admired—a will and determination that I couldn’t help but be awed by. Despite whatever hardships lay in his past, Wally had come out on top, and was probably better for them. He didn’t see the world like the rest of us. There was no desire in him to own or consume. He was frugal, but content. To him, excess was unnecessary. He liked his beat up car. He’d drive it until it didn’t work anymore, and then probably get another one, only slightly less beat up.

  He was fine with his career choice. I’d heard him talk about expanding his horizons there—instructing more or maybe owning a hangar of his own. But he knew it was a seasonal job, something that he loved but would need to supplement if he wanted to continue doing it.

  He wasn’t delusional. But he was happy. He didn’t worry about how he was going to pay bills, because he didn’t put himself in binds. I envied him and his ability to act so carefree. He had a faith in the world, in the universe, that I didn’t.

  But I was trying to.

  I felt something with him that I’d never felt with another man. Pride. It swelled in me. Of all the women he knew, only one got to run her fingers through his hair or kiss his neck whenever she pleased. Only one knew how gruff and thick his voice sounded after sex had drained him. Or how euphoric it felt when he introduced her as his girl, a gratified smile on his lips, as if he was rubbing it in their face saying, Yep, this one’s all mine.

  And that woman was me.

  Even before today, I’d told my mother all of these things, gushed to her on the phone for hours on end. She insisted that I bring him with me on a trip my family was planning. But that trip was months away.

  Wally and I had never discussed our future. Would it be weird if I invited him to something so personal nearly half a year from now? Maybe. But I wanted him to go. I took a breath and went for it.

  “I talked to my mom a few days ago,” I sai
d.

  “Yeah,” he replied, seeming distracted.

  “She, uh, she told me about a trip my family is taking. I want you to go. I mean, I was wondering if you’d like to go.”

  He pursed his lips, thinking about it. “When? Where? And how much?”

  He’d spouted it off so robotically, not sounding excited at all. It deflated me a little, but I wasn’t deterred. “Well, I think it’s at the beach somewhere. Usually they go to Galveston or Gulf Shores. Cost wise, it might be a little expensive, but you’ve got a while to save.”

  “How expensive?” he asked.

  My parents went all out with these trips, renting a big condo, dining out, and experiencing as much as they could. It would be expensive for me, but I knew they’d help. Wally though…I didn’t know if they’d be willing to. They weren’t rich, and I’d feel guilty even asking.

  “Under a thousand,” I said.

  He puffed out a laugh. “Oh, only a thousand?”

  “I said ‘under,’ Wally. And I can help you get the money together. It’s months away. If you’re having—”

  “Stop right there,” he said, flicking a hand out. “You go and have fun, but I don’t think I’ll be able to.”

  I swallowed my disappointment, and wished I hadn’t asked. He looked rigid the remainder of the car ride, and I was afraid to bring it up with him again. Obviously, I’d struck a nerve.

  At my house, I assumed he’d huff and puff before storming off in his car, but he didn’t. He quietly watched television, hardly speaking to me.

  Trying to make it better, I attempted an apology. But that wasn’t something I’d ever been good at. “I didn’t mean anything by it,” I said, sitting next to him on the couch.

  “I know,” he said, brushing me off.

  “Well, then stop being so cold. It was just an idea.”

  He grunted with annoyance. “I’m not being cold. I’m just sitting here watching TV. Get off my ass.”

  He’d never spoken that way to me and I bristled. We’d had such a wonderful day. I didn’t want it to end like this. Deciding to swallow my pride, I touched his cheek and then gave him an affectionate kiss. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Mind if I go to bed early?”