Lies (Phoenix Undercover #1)

by C. A. Harms

  Her laugh was a disgusted, sarcastic imitation of laughter. “So now you’re lying too?”

  “I’m not sure what you’re—”

  “Do you remember when you told me you didn’t sit at the office and just refuse to call me? That when you were working, you were undercover and the chance for contact was limited?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then explain to me why for the last week, you’ve been at your office every day and at your apartment every night, yet when I call or text, you choose not to respond?”

  How the hell had she known? “I just—”

  “I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered in defeat.

  “Please, just listen.” My chest ached as I stood up and began pacing my office. “Our cover was blown. We’ve been working overtime trying to figure shit out. Our target is missing, and I’ve just been so consumed with this case that I can’t fucking breathe.” I was grasping at straws, but I didn’t know how to tell her the truth. I was still trying to wrap my head around the last couple weeks myself.

  “That doesn’t mean you couldn’t respond or at least take five minutes to call me.” Pain laced her voice. “I’m so tired of fighting for your attention. Do you know that since I met you, I have become this needy excuse of myself? I’m self-conscious and sad. I feel like what I have to offer isn’t enough to keep you.”

  My heart ached at the knowledge of what I had done to her, at knowing how this was breaking her slowly.

  “I don’t like who I am now. It’s not me. I can’t compete with your world. I don’t want to anymore. I’m sorry, Josh. This isn’t how I wanted to talk about this. Over the phone feels wrong, but since you’ve given me no other option, it had to be this way.” She was crying now, and it fucking killed me.

  “Gabby, I can’t lose you,” I confessed as I braced myself against the wall, hanging my head in defeat.

  “Did we really ever truly have each other, Josh?” She took in a shuddering breath. “Because it honestly feels like there was always something keeping us apart. And now I just feel like we’re even further apart than we’ve ever been.”

  Silence set in. I knew there was truth to her words, and I couldn’t offer anything reassuring. I felt like the ground was being torn from beneath me and I was in freefall.

  “I do love you. I know I always will. But I just can’t do this anymore. Maybe someday we can try this again when you’re in a different place, but it’s just too much now. Please stay safe. I couldn’t take it if something happened to you.”

  My heart shattered as she ended the call.

  Chapter 28

  Gabriella

  “You doing okay?” Brook asked as she entered the kitchen and sat down at the bar across from me.

  I had been trying to look over a contract that had been presented on one of my property listings, but focusing was pretty close to impossible right now. I continued to question my decision to end things with Josh. Yes, everything I told him was completely true, including the part where I said I loved him and always would.

  That was the problem. Loving him was making it so hard to let go of him. I craved his touch so intensely that I knew nothing would ever be able to appease the need. Nothing except the one person I was telling myself I had to let go of.

  “Gabs?” Brook asked.

  “I’m fine,” I insisted.

  “You do know that you don’t have to lie to me?”

  I just wasn’t up for her prodding. I stood from my stool, grabbed my coffee cup from the counter, and walked to the sink, where I dumped out the cold coffee and rinsed the mug. Without meeting Brook’s gaze, I began to gather my contract and other papers. I had a million things waiting for my attention at work, and I couldn’t allow this to distract me.

  “I have to get going,” I said. I looked up and forced a smile, hoping she bought the act. She nodded, giving me back a smile I was sure was a mirror image of my own. We were both playing it safe.

  After leaving the apartment and taking the elevator that felt as if it stopped on every floor on the way down, I finally made it to the parking deck. As I threw my things in the backseat, my phone chirped, reminding me I was running late. Hoping my clients weren’t already waiting at my office, I grabbed it to send Valerie, my assistant, a quick response.

  As I slid my finger over the screen, I realized the text was not from the office, but from Josh. As I read it, I choked up and braced myself against the side of the car.

  Josh: I love you, and I’m not letting you go.

  I crawled inside my car and closed the door, then rested my forehead against the steering wheel. I knew just how easy it would be to call him and pick things up right where we left off. But I also knew it wouldn’t be good enough. I wanted more, and that was just not possible with Josh. So I took the cowardly way out and chose to ignore the text instead.

  ***

  My day was pointless. After three hours with the same couple and multiple showings, they decided to stay in their current apartment. I wanted to thank them for wasting my time but smiled sweetly and told them it was okay instead.

  It really wasn’t okay.

  I was dragging, and I knew it was because I hadn’t been sleeping well. When I was supposed to be relaxing and getting ready to sleep, my mind would always find its way to Josh.

  I walked along St. Mark’s Place toward the café on the corner, remembering Josh’s story of how he got hooked up with the crazy brunette I’d seen him with on the night we met. And his exhausted expression as he described that night in detail. The poor guy had no idea what Greyson had gotten him into.

  I passed a couple holding hands, and my heart ached again as I saw the loving look the guy gave his girlfriend. I knew I was torturing myself, but I had to admit Josh and I had some pretty fine times mixed in with all the drama. When we were able to be together without something interrupting us, I couldn’t have wished for more. But the distance I felt every time we were apart, not being able to know where he was or if he was safe, was just too hard. And toward the end it seemed as if he was purposely avoiding me. He was in town and could have seen me at any point, yet he chose to let me believe he was out of reach, trapped in that dark world he said was hard to break free from.

  I paused as I rounded the corner and allowed an old man to walk around me before I stepped up to the door of the café. A caramel latte sounded like the perfect sweet to end my shitty day. As I pulled the handle, I looked to my left and froze. I even shook my head, thinking I had to be imagining things. But it didn’t change the scene before me. Audrey was sitting snuggled into the side of my ex, who had his arm around her shoulders.

  I didn’t want to see it, yet I couldn’t look away. My heart raced and my stomach lurched. I covered my mouth, stifling a gasp.

  Up until then, I thought nothing could be worse than what I was seeing, but I soon realized I was wrong. Watching the man I love kiss my sister’s forehead, then rest his chin on the top of her head was like a sucker punch to my already-aching stomach.

  I slowly backed away from the door as the sobs took over.

  Chapter 29

  Josh

  “Do you know how hard telling her is gonna be?” Audrey asked. Holding her felt wrong, but when she began to cry in the middle of the café, my first reaction was to put my arm around her shoulders.

  “I know it’s gonna be hard, but she deserves to know. I couldn’t live with myself if we didn’t come clean about everything.” I slid my arm away, and she sat up straighter. “Besides, I want her back, and for that to happen, there can’t be any secrets.”

  Audrey looked up at me and smiled through her tears.

  “I love her, and so do you. We both owe her the truth,” I said.

  Audrey nodded even though I knew she was just as afraid as I was. Telling Gabby would break her; I knew it would. But hiding what had happened any longer could only cause us all further damage.

  “Tomorrow?” I asked, and she nodded in agreement.

  ***
/>   I had been sitting in Gabby’s living room for over twenty minutes now, and not once had Brook offered me anything other than the nasty glare she still wore.

  “You never told me he was coming too,” she said to Audrey, still focusing her narrowed eyes on me. She weighed a good one hundred pounds, one hundred five tops, and I doubt she could do much damage, but she still looked like she was planning my execution.

  “We need to talk to Gabby,” Audrey said.

  “What in the hell could the two of you have to share with Gabby? You barely know one another.”

  I looked at Audrey, she shook her head. She wasn’t going to give away anything more.

  “You’re so shady,” Brook said to her sister. “I mean, what the hell happened to you, Audrey? You’ve changed. You lie now, or maybe you just keep secrets.”

  I sat on the couch feeling extremely uncomfortable as Brook’s anger went up a notch. I felt like I should get up and walk out on the balcony or something.

  “People change, Brook, but I can assure you, Josh and I do have a good reason for being here. But Gabby needs to be the one we tell that reason to. If she chooses at that point to include you, then she can.”

  A key jingled in the front door, and we all turned toward it. It truly felt like forever until the door finally came open.

  Brook rushed forward first, and I stood from the couch. The only thing I could see was Gabby. It took a great deal of restraint not to charge toward her and pull her into my arms.

  “I had no idea he was coming,” Brook announced. Gabby looked past her younger sister and narrowed her eyes at me. My heart felt like it plummeted to my stomach. “Audrey said she needed to see you, and I thought it was time you two talked. But I had no idea he would be coming too.”

  “It’s okay,” Gabby said.

  I watched as Gabby looked back and forth between Audrey and me. I couldn’t register what she was feeling, but I knew anger was part of it. Her chest rose and fell in fast breaths, and from experience I knew that meant she was trying to regain control.

  “Gabby, I know you’re mad at me. I just thought that maybe we could clear the air.” Audrey looked at her sister, hopeful.

  “Brook, why don’t you go grab that movie we were talking about last night? The one with Duane Johnson in it.” Brook looked up at her in confusion, but Gabby’s eyes remained locked on Audrey. “We’ll order a pizza and watch it later.”

  “But—”

  Gabby looked at Brook. “I’ll be okay,” she assured her. “I knew this was coming. I just didn’t expect it this soon.”

  I looked over at Audrey, and her eyebrows were wrinkled in confusion. By her reaction, I knew she was wondering the same thing—what the hell had Gabby been expecting?

  Chapter 30

  Gabriella

  Coming home to find Audrey in my apartment was bad enough. But her bringing Josh with her took a lot of balls. Nothing like throwing salt on the wound, I guess.

  Brook was reluctant, but eventually she left. I was glad she did. She didn’t need to know the things these two were capable of, and there was no reason to tarnish her view of Audrey. This was my problem, not hers.

  Suddenly I felt like my mouth was full of cotton. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass, filled it under the faucet, and took a big drink.

  “I owe you an explanation,” Audrey said from behind me, and my irritation only grew stronger.

  “We both do,” Josh added, and surprisingly his words only made me sad. I had never expected him to hurt me, not like he was about to.

  I took a deep breath before turning around to face them. Josh stood next to Audrey, and the vision of them standing united side by side only enhanced my anger. The love these two traitors said they felt for me was obviously a joke.

  “Aw, you’re a team now, isn’t that sweet?” I sneered. “What, did the two of you plan this whole thing? Let’s join forces and break Gabby’s heart together. Because if that’s what you’re planning, you can save your breath. I really couldn’t care less that you’ve been sneaking around behind my back.”

  Josh wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion and looked over and Audrey, who was looking back at me with a similar expression. “Gabby, I’m not sure exactly what you’re referring to, but we weren’t sneaking around.”

  “Really?” I asked and pushed off the counter. Taking a step toward them, I squared my shoulders, because like hell I would feel intimidated by them. This was my home, and they had a lot of nerve coming here to throw this shit at me. “I saw the two of you at the café, all snuggled up together.”

  “That is not what was going on,” Josh said.

  I just gave a humph of laughter.

  “Gabby, honestly, that isn’t why we’re here. There isn’t anything going on between Audrey and me.”

  “Then I’m not sure what the purpose of this visit is. Why do you two feel the need to show up here together and give me an explanation of something you both say isn’t really happening?”

  “I didn’t take a trip to clear my head,” Audrey’s words rushed out. “I was here in New York. I was on a job.”

  “What?” I frowned at her in confusion.

  “I’m not an architect.”

  I opened my mouth to respond only to quickly close it.

  “That’s just something I told all of you. I thought it would be easier than the truth. Dad and Mom never would have accepted my real job without protest, and, Gabby, I love my job.”

  What the hell could she possibly be doing that was so secretive?

  “I’m DEA.” She shrugged.

  I was shocked, yes, but I was expecting her to say something like she was an escort. I mean, that would have made more sense with all these secrets and sneaking around.

  “So why the secrets? Why wouldn’t you just tell us?” That part still confused me.

  “I’ve been undercover most of my career. Just like I have been for the last six months.”

  I looked at her as it all came together. That was why she’d looked at Josh as if she recognized him when he came to dinner with our family. “Wait, have you two been working together all this time?” I asked as I looked between them.

  “Not until recently,” Josh assured me. “This last time, when she was gone for weeks, was the first time we had seen one another outside the time we met at your parents’.”

  “That’s not entirely true,” Audrey said, and even Josh looked at her in surprise. “Leo brought me to the warehouse a few times. I was in the back of the car, but you couldn’t see me through the dark windows. I recognized you from the files I was shown at the DEA. I knew the FBI was bringing in agents, and my bosses wanted me to know what I was working with. So I knew about you. You just didn’t know about me until last week.”

  “Wait,” I said. “Who the hell is Leo?”

  “Can we go sit down?” Audrey asked.

  “Fuck sitting down,” I answered her. “I’m fine where I am, now tell me what the hell is going on.”

  Josh placed his hand on her shoulder, and the gesture hurt and pissed me off simultaneously. “Let me tell her.”

  Audrey shook her head and looked up at me, her eyes full of tears. “I have to tell her.”

  As they shared some sort of secret exchange with their eyes, I was only seconds away from throwing shit. This was eating at me in ways nothing ever had.

  “Leo was the man I was sent to watch. He’s with the Russian mafia, and the things he’s done, Gabby, they’re so bad.”

  I stared at my sister, the woman I had always looked up to since I was a child. She was always so confident and strong, yet right now she had never appeared so weak and frail.

  “He sells women, he supplies drugs to half the city, he’s raped, murdered, and mutilated people, and he will do whatever it takes to get his way. He has no remorse. He needed to be stopped. So when I went in, I had one goal…I wouldn’t stop until he was rotting behind bars.”

  Audrey pulled a barstool from beneath the counter. I didn�
�t take my eyes from hers as she took a seat before continuing.

  “For months I was used by him, and he soon let his guard down around me. I started hearing and seeing things about his business that would help the DEA build its case against him. Eventually, I became what he referred to as ‘his woman.’ He put me up in his home, gave me everything he thought I needed to be happy, and hinted that things wouldn’t be pleasant for me if I didn’t continue to keep him happy.”

  “You were his whore,” I retorted, and she flinched.

  “In a way, yes. But I just looked at it as a really bad relationship.” She smiled, trying to make light of it, but I knew it was forced. “Until this last operation, he had never made me do anything with any other man but him. It was something I never even considered.” I didn’t miss her quick glance at Josh or the uncomfortable shift of his feet.

  My stomach began to tighten as thoughts ran through my mind.

  “That was the first night Josh saw me. We were at the same party, and it couldn’t be avoided. Leo had drugged me earlier that night and kept me supplied as I waited in the limo. I was so lost to what was going on around me that I didn’t even realize where I was. One minute I was in the limo, the next I was standing in the middle of a warehouse. He stripped me and…”

  “I couldn’t believe it when she lifted her head and I realized who she was,” Josh said, and my stomach hit the floor.

  “Are you two telling me that you…?” I couldn’t say it.

  “We didn’t have sex,” Audrey said with certainty. A sense of relief washed over me, only to fade once again at her next statement. “But things did happen.”

  “What kind of things?” I asked.

  The two of them looked down as if they were afraid to continue.

  “You two showed up here with these plans to explain. So fucking explain. Something sexual happened between my sister and my boyfriend. While I thought my sister may be dead and had no idea where the hell you were.” I pointed at Josh, and he swallowed hard. “While I sat here and waited, you two were fucking around with one another.”