by Amy Starling
“The hell's that supposed to mean?”
“You remember they used to own that big ranch? Well, they decided raising cows for a living wasn't good enough for rich folks, so they sold it and moved to a fancy mansion in San Diego. Only part of the property still left is the parcel Anna's living on.”
“Means if you get hitched to Rachael, you'll be marrying into some serious money.”
He shook his head. “They're very demanding. Her mother, Ruby, is getting up there in years and expects her daughters to take care of her parents in old age. She's explicitly told her that when she gets married, she will be moving to California to be near them.”
“Uh, what? She doesn't have to do a damn thing she doesn't want to.”
“Ray lives to please her parents. She's already told me she plans on doing what they asked her to. It's caused some fights, because you know I sure don't want to move to San Diego. I'm happy where I am.”
“So then what happens? She going to break up with you for her parents?”
He looked the other way. “No, I don't think so. We love each other. You stick together when you love somebody.”
I thought all this was ridiculous but wasn't foolish enough to say so. This was precisely why I had no interest in a relationship – beyond one-night stands, of course. Too much effort and way too big of a headache.
Except... Now there was Anna.
She was pregnant, clearly somebody else's woman, and she'd planned to hide that from me for God knows how long. Normally, I wouldn't touch that mess with a ten-foot pole.
But something about her appealed to me in a way I hadn't quite felt before. Instead of dyeing and styling her dirty-blonde hair, she kept it up in a ponytail at all times. She wore the bare minimum of makeup, didn't fuss over her fingernails, and didn't give half a crap if she left the house in sweatpants.
She was gorgeous, but low-maintenance. I found it refreshing.
When I woke up this morning, I thought about her first thing. It was her I jacked off to in the shower, unable to get that night with her out of my memory. I fucked her in that dark, steamy bathroom, both of us forced to be silent despite how utterly amazing it was and all the dirty, perverted things I wanted to whisper in her ear.
I'd never had any sex like it. Didn't know what it was all about, but I did know I had to have her again.
Pregnant or not, I didn't care. I was going to make her mine, even if it was just one more time.
“We haven't had any rain in weeks.” Trey pulled into the lot where I left my RV. “There was a brush fire a couple hundred miles west last night. They put it out in time, but next time, we might not be so lucky. A good wind could spread those flames far and wide.”
“I kinda hope something happens soon. You called me down here sayin' your station needed the help, but the most exciting thing that's happened is the trash can catching fire at Walmart.”
He shoved me out of the truck. “Don't you dare say things like that.”
“I'm just bored, that's all. I'm the kind of guy who hates to rest on his laurels while the world passes by. I gotta be moving. Working. Doing something with myself.”
“There's plenty to do if you wouldn't be so picky. Go help Anna clean out her chicken house or something.”
I gagged. “No thank you. Almost two weeks later and I still can't get the stink out of my vehicle.”
Trey was quiet as I went to unlock the door. Then he called to me.
“You've been here that long already, huh? Just how much vacation did the station in Waco give you?”
I hesitated. How could I tell him my “vacation” was actually a permanent leave of absence, so to speak? Even now, the rejection stung badly. I still couldn't think about it without feelings of bitterness and rage boiling to the surface.
“Guess I had a lot of days saved up. They said I could take off as long as I needed to. The whole summer, if need be.”
“Really?” He raised his eyebrow. “And your job will still be waiting when you get back? That's awful generous of them.”
“Yeah, I'm like a celebrity there. They pretty much let me do whatever.”
Trey muttered something under his breath as he drove away. I sure was grateful that conversation was over. No way could I tell him the truth, 'cause then he'd tell Anna, and...
“What the devil's wrong with me? Never cared what any woman thought of me before.”
But it was different with her.
I didn't much like it. Caring what some girl thought gave her power over you. No woman on this planet would have that kind of sway over me. They weren't gonna put me on a leash, like what happened to Carter and then Jayce.
I checked the time – just past noon. I was supposed to be helping out at the department, but with what? Nothing ever happened around here. Figured that Trey got my hopes up about that.
Well, at least I got some sort of action out of it. Getting into Anna's pants was well worth it.
Today was Saturday, which meant she was working at the farmer's market and probably about to go on lunch. Now, I never in my life bothered hanging out with a girl after screwing her. This time, however, I drove down to the market to see how she was coming along.
I found her at her stall, a little corner booth in the shade. She was chatting with a customer and when she smiled, it stopped me in my tracks.
Christ almighty, why did she look even more beautiful today than she did before?
I adjusted my growing hard-on and made my way to her. She didn't notice me and kept on talking with her buyer, an elderly Hispanic lady.
“Yes, I be back next week.” She gathered her purse, then pointed at Anna's belly. “So, is it boy or girl?”
Anna blushed like mad. She really didn't want anyone to know about this, did she? I wasn't sure why, but she'd better get over it fast. Her tummy seemed to be getting rounder every day and if strangers noticed it, her friends and family sure would.
“I... I don't know yet,” she said quietly. “And I'm kind of trying to keep it secret for now, if you know what I mean.”
The woman nodded. “Ah, yes.” She turned and nearly smacked into me. Then she smiled. “Good for you.”
I blinked, confused. Anna looked like she wanted to hide under the booth.
“For what?”
“Your baby. Will be a good baby, I'm sure. You'll be good daddy, too.”
I opened my mouth to correct her, but to my surprise, Anna shushed me. I was too shocked to protest.
When she was gone, I let out the breath I was holding. “Can't say that's ever happened to me before. You care to explain what's going on here?”
She glanced around as if scanning for eavesdroppers, then flipped over her sign from “Open” to “Be Back Soon.”
“Walk with me,” she said, so I did – even though I was getting real nervous about this whole thing.
We took the dirt trail that led out of the market, up the hill a ways, to an empty playground overlooking the valley below. Anna sat on a swing and sighed heavily – the sigh of a woman with too much weight on her shoulders, if you asked me.
“No one knows,” she began. “Except for you.”
I took the swing beside hers. “The father?”
“Rich Steiner. I started dating him when I lived in New York, back when I was still a lawyer. We weren't together for very long when I gave up the life and decided to move back home. He's an attorney, too, with a big client base in NYC. So of course, he stayed behind.”
I studied her as she talked about this guy. There wasn't just sadness in her gaze – there was genuine anger. What the hell had this loser done to her?
“We agreed to have a long-distance relationship, but I should have known better.” She laughed bitterly. “He came to visit me every now and again, but never wanted me to fly up and see him. Insisted he didn't want to inconvenience me and besides, he liked seeing the countryside.”
“Sounds like you didn't see him very often. Must have really cared about the dude if you'd pu
t up with that.” I pushed myself forward on the swing. “This is why relationships aren't my thing. Sex that infrequent would kill me.”
She swung along beside me, trailing her shoes through the dirt as she swayed up and then back.
“The last time he was here, about three months ago, we were... intimate. I guess the condom failed, as you can see.” She waved at her plump belly.
“So have you told him?”
“Of course I did, soon as I found out. I called and told him I was scared, that I needed to know what we should do.” Her swing came to a stop. “Instead of giving me support, he freaked. Told me he'd been living a lie for our entire relationship. He's married with two kids and he wants nothing to do with the baby he helped create.”
I gaped at her. She wasn't joking.
“How in the hell did you not know he was married?”
“That's what everyone asks me. Makes me feel like a complete idiot, really. Like, how could stupid could I have been to not notice something so obvious?”
I put my hand on her back. “Hey, I didn't mean to –”
“It's okay. I was stupid. There were signs, signs I should have seen all along. Back in New York, he'd either come to my place or meet me at a hotel. On rare occasion, he'd invite me to his apartment. I should have realized it wasn't actually his apartment when he didn't know where the coffee was or how to work the stereo.”
“It wasn't his?”
“His friend let him borrow the place sometimes just so he wouldn't look totally suspicious.”
Holy shit. I might have been an asshole who let my dick make most decisions, but this was beyond any stupid thing I'd ever done. You had to be a completely deplorable piece of human garbage to play someone like that – and then he bailed when she got pregnant, to make it even worse.
“I haven't heard from him since that phone call. He's changed his number, doesn't respond to email or Facebook. Best I can tell, he's just going about his normal life as if this never happened.”
Rage built inside of me, the kind of anger I usually felt when someone messed with me in a bad way. This Rich guy had never met me, but he fucked Anna over so badly, I felt like flying to New York and killing him myself.
“Do people around these parts know you two are done?”
She nodded. “Trey and Rachael, at least. A few of my friends. All they know was, he's got a wife and he was cheating on her with me.”
“But why hide the pregnancy? It's not your fault this dude is scum. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone.”
“My parents are very old-school and conservative. Religious, too. If they found out I got pregnant out of wedlock, there would be hell to pay.”
“Who gives a damn what they think? You're a grown woman. They care more about their petty reputation than how much their daughter's suffering?”
Her shoulders fell. “They're real prominent people in the church, and dad's running for governor of California this year.”
Governor? Wow. Her family was more upper-crust than I had thought.
“People in Cali are pretty dang liberal. I doubt they'd judge your daddy because his daughter wasn't married when she had a kid.”
“You're probably right, but he wouldn't see it that way. He'd blame me for damaging his reputation, for making him look like a fraud who can't keep his family under control. And can you imagine if he lost? He'd probably disown me.”
“Sounds like he'd be doing you a favor.”
She didn't respond to that one. “He's in the public eye a lot, and would be even more so as the governor – which means I'd be getting some of that spotlight, too. People would ask who the father is. Even if I hid it, they'd do some digging. They find I slept with a married man and he got me pregnant...”
I got it. Sure, it didn't look very good for all parties involved. But it was the baby's dad who should have taken the fall, not her. Anna did nothing wrong. She didn't even know the guy was married, for Christ's sake.
“Okay, so why haven't you told your sister, or even Trey? Seems like y'all are good friends.”
She started to tear up. “I do love Rachael, but she's a huge gossip – and she loves to compete. She'd get on the phone and blab it to my mom soon as I told her.”
“What do you mean, compete?”
She left her swing and shuffled through the sand lot, past the slide and monkey bars. How many fine warm days had we spent hanging out in this playground? Too bad that time of innocence was gone, replaced by bullshit like this.
“The family has a lot of money. To be fair, you'd think dad would split our inheritance down the middle, right? But he won't. He and mom like to play favorites – and Rachael's always been the golden child who can do no wrong.”
“You're saying if you get 'em angry enough, they'll give more money to her.”
She nodded. “Or maybe I won't get a dime. I know this makes me sound greedy and selfish, but...”
“No, it doesn't. You deserve a fair share.”
“It's not that I want the money to go on a shopping spree. Sometimes, the farm doesn't do so well. It'd really help to have a cushion for the lean times, you know? And maybe I could expand, too. I've been thinking about getting a few dairy cows.”
I shuddered. “Don't know which I hate more, cows or chickens.”
We leaned over the weathered wood railing and looked out over the valley. It was nothing but trees and wildlife for miles around. The sky was almost so blue as to be surreal, and billowy white clouds crossed the horizon at a most leisurely pace.
“That's not all,” she murmured. “My parents own the land Southwell Farm sits on. Instead of selling my plot when they moved to San Diego, they let me use it – so long as I keep making a profit.”
“Your folks are real cold, you know that?”
She shrugged. “I've been profiting just fine, but what worries me is... If dad finds out about the baby, what's to say he won't take the farm away from me as punishment?”
“You could go back to being a lawyer, couldn't you?”
“That's not the life I want anymore.” She kicked a rock off the ledge and watched it fall. “Years ago, I wanted to impress my parents. That's why I got a law degree and took off to New York. Oh, they were proud of me, all right. But every day, every single case I took, just got harder and harder to handle. Felt like I was going to lose my mind if I went on that way.”
“Yeah. I like the city as much as anybody, but that's too much even for me. I'd have gone nuts too.”
“So I returned just as they were planning their move to California. I always wanted to work outdoors with the land, and figured this was just what I needed to get that part of myself back.” She wiped her tears on her sleeve. “If dad takes this away from me, I just... I don't know what I'll do.”
I had lots of experience with emotional women. The shrieking, hysterical ones were easy to walk away from. Whatever was going on in their brains, it wasn't my problem, now was it?
Except Anna was different. As I watched her cry and her tears fall softly to the dirt, it stirred something in me. I didn't like it one little bit.
I put my arms around her in a tight hug. One whiff of her cherry shampoo made me hard, but I tried to ignore it. There could be time for that later.
She tensed for just a second before relaxing into me, putting her head on my chest and letting herself cry. Her tears soaked my shirt, but that was okay by me.
“You're gonna be fine, you hear me? I know this looks impossible right now, but it will work out in the end. Things always do.”
She pulled back and looked up at me. “How do you figure? I don't see any way of making this better. Pretty soon, I won't be able to hide it. They'll find out. Then I'm done.”
A teenage boy jogged up the hill toward us, huffing and puffing. Anna let go of me, as if I were unclean and she shouldn't be seen touching me. Dunno why it bothered me so much, yet it did.
“Miss Southwell, you got customers hanging around your booth asking when you'll be
back.”
She smiled at him. “Thanks, Jimmy. Tell them I'll be down in a minute.”
He darted off, and she returned her attention to me. I couldn't help but gawk at her slightly rounded tummy. Pregnant women had always freaked me out, but this wasn't just any woman. Somehow, with Anna, it didn't bother me so much.
“So, is this why you resisted when I put the moves on you? I wish you'd have just told me. After what you went through, man... It makes me feel like an asshole.”
“Don't. I needed it.”
My hard-on stiffened even more. That one was her fault, though.
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I hope you can understand why.”
“Yeah. I just thought... When I saw that email, I figured you already had a boyfriend or something.”
She cocked her head. “What difference would that have made to you? I'm sure you would have pursued me anyway.”
It shouldn't have made any. When it came to her, though, the thought of another man's hands on her made my skin crawl. I wasn't known for being possessive over girls – it was easy enough to find one anywhere I looked – but this time, the only person I wanted touching her was me.
Luckily, I didn't have to answer her question. She started down the hill without me. I followed behind, trying in vain to make sense of these weird feelings.
She paused at the bottom and gazed up at me. “Hey, you won't tell anyone about this, will you?”
“Of course not. I ain't a gossip. But regardless, folks will find out on their own soon enough.”
“What do you think I should do?”
People rarely asked my advice because they didn't like to hear the truth. I told it like it was, being honest with them no matter how hard it might be to hear.
If a girl squeezes into a too-tight pair of jeans then asks “Does this make my butt look fat?” Guess what I'm gonna say?
Yep. No filter on my mouth whatsoever.
“Well, let's see. Your folks live thousands of miles away, don't they? I imagine they don't come and visit real often.”
She hung her head. “No. They're quite busy, and with my animals on the farm, leaving here to see them in San Diego's nearly impossible.”