by Amy Starling
“Then you could carry the baby without them ever knowing it. Soon as the kid's born, give it up for adoption. They'll never have a clue you even gave birth.”
Her eyes widened. “Give it up? To who?”
“Hell, I don't know. Anybody who can give the kid a good home. Surely there's lots of people out there wanting to adopt.”
“I don't know if I could handle that. Just.. giving away the child I carried in my body for nine months? I'd feel like the most horrible mother on the planet.”
“There's nothing wrong with doing what has to be done, if you got a good reason for it.” We stopped just outside of the market entrance. “Or, y'know, there's a way to make the problem go away altogether.”
“What way?”
I had to stare at her for a while to see if she was kidding. She just stared back.
“You could get rid of it.”
She clutched her stomach. “Get rid of... it?”
“An abortion. It's not too late, I don't think – not that I have any experience with such things. It'd be easy, and then no one would ever find out. Not anyone in town, and especially not your folks.”
Her jaw clenched and her brow furrowed. Something wasn't right. Should have shut my mouth right then and there, but idiot me kept onward.
“I mean, be honest. Do you really want to keep a baby from this guy? He has a secret family already he was hiding from you. He bailed on you, forcing you to deal on your own. If you have this child, it's just gonna be a reminder of him every day for the rest of your life.”
She uttered a furious growl and pushed me back so hard, I nearly fell into the cactus on the roadside.
“You're an asshole,” she sputtered. “Don't call me again. Don't come near me.”
Oh, great. This was why I never bothered with women. They got so emotional over the craziest things. What did I do wrong this time?
“I don't understand why you're so mad. It was just a suggestion, and a smart one too. You asked me what you ought to do, and that's my answer.”
“Your answer is to kill an innocent baby that was conceived through no fault of his own? Just abort it and go on with my life, like nothing ever happened?”
I shrugged. Dunno why she had to get all dramatic about it.
“This isn't just a microscopic bundle of cells anymore,” she continued. “It's a three-month-old fetus. A real, living, breathing child. I saw it on the ultrasound. Too small yet to know the gender, but you can already see the little arms and legs growing.”
I tried to put an arm around her for comfort, but she wasn't having none of it.
“Look, if I offended you, sorry. I was just trying to help.”
“I hate Rich for what he did to me, but even so, this baby is a part of me. Mine.” She glared and turned away from me. “If this is your way of helping, then don't bother. I'll figure it out alone.”
She stormed off to her booth to contend with the line of customers. I was so shocked I couldn't even move for a minute.
Never in my life had I put up with such talk from a woman. The moment one raised her voice to me, I was done. I didn't tolerate disrespect, and there were thousands of other fish in the sea.
But with Anna, it wasn't like that. All I wanted to do now was squeeze her tight and never let go.
Chapter 7 - Anna
One week later, Max was still here.
I spotted him driving around town in his RV sometimes; others, he was riding with Trey or the van he'd rented. He kept trying to talk to me, but I made sure to keep our conversations brief and to the point.
It wasn't just because he ticked me off with his suggestion to abort the baby. Mostly, it was because he'd slept with me and then proceeded to act like it never happened.
I didn't know why, but that made me mad.
Maybe because the sex was so hot, so exciting, that I wanted more?
Like hell I'd tell him that. No way would I go crawling back, begging him to do to me whatever filthy things his mind could conjure up.
Too bad the longer I was pregnant, the more easily I got aroused. Just thinking about his smile was enough to drive me nuts until I gave myself some relief. Even then, that simply wasn't enough.
“This cheesecake is to die for, sis.” Rachael gushed and spooned another bite into her mouth. “You should consider going into business as a baker. Bet you'd make it big.”
“I've already got enough on my plate. Unless you'd like to work as my apprentice, of course.”
She swallowed a huge dollop of fresh whipped cream and blueberries. “If I get to sample the goods, you got a deal.”
Jackie, one of my best laying hens, pecked a moth out of the air and devoured it with a happy cluck. Bees from my hives flitted to and fro, landing on the flowers in my garden and blossoms from the vegetable plants. Bluebonnets swayed lazily in the warm late-morning breeze.
This place wasn't much, but it was my very own little patch of heaven on Earth. I'd always looked forward to getting married and raising a family here. Dreamed of teaching my kids how to garden and take care of the animals.
But nothing was going according to plan. If I lost this place, what would I have left?
“What time is it? I gotta get to the office by eleven.” Rachael checked her phone. “Ugh, so late already. Anna, you're lucky you get to work from home. You can slouch around all day in your pajamas if you want.”
“Oh, I wish I had such a luxury.”
While I swept up the dropped dessert crumbs so the nasty fire ants wouldn't swarm my porch, she tapped out a message to Trey on her phone. Then she smiled and sighed dramatically.
“How many times have I told him to stop calling me 'bunny?' He's such a jerk.”
“Maybe you shouldn't have told him about your childhood obsession with rabbits, then.” Off the crumbs went into the trashcan. “If that's the worst of your complaints, you have it made, sis.”
“No, it's not. He leaves the toilet seat up and would rather read the nerdiest sci-fi books than watch TV with me.”
Was I jealous? I told myself no, but it was a lie.
I tried not to cry as Rachael got her things together. Her life was the one I'd wanted forever. She'd never planned on settling down, not for a long time, anyway – yet it was her who got the man who loved her to pieces.
I was twenty-seven years old already. A decade ago, I decided I would be happy marrying at age twenty five and perhaps having kids a year or so after. Well, I had the kid on the way, but no husband to share it with.
The father didn't even want to be part of our lives. He had his own family to tend to.
Me? I had nobody.
“Okay, I think that's everything. You sure you're all right with me taking all this food?”
“Yeah. It's not like I have anyone else around to help me eat it.”
She paused at the gate. “You could always invite Max over for dinner. The guy's a firefighter; he can eat like a horse.” Then she laughed to herself as if she'd made some kind of inside joke.
“You're kidding, right?”
“Eh, maybe. Maybe not.” She grinned. “He certainly has grown into a good-looking guy. I figured when he got older, he'd turn into a fat, balding loser. That's how it went with most boys on our high-school football team. Not him.”
I could hardly believe what I was hearing. She knew what Max and I had done, didn't she? Had to. She was just messing with me now.
“I thought you hated him. You sure were railing against him the other night at the cookout.”
“I don't care for the guy, but... Time does have a way of changing people.” She slid into her Lexus. “Ever since he came back to town, I've seen the way he looks at you.”
What had she seen, exactly? Oh, man. Knowing her penchant for gossip, the entire town would soon be talking about our little rendezvous in the restroom.
She gazed out the front window. “My point is, I feel bad for you.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You just got seriously s
hafted by the guy you thought loved you. Since then you've been moping around, looking all depressed. You ask me, you need to find yourself a guy who really cares about you.”
“I appreciate the free therapy session, but aren't you late for work?”
She groaned and slammed the door in my face. Just as she started her engine and I turned to go back in the house, her window rolled down.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you the whole reason I came over here in the first place. I'm such a scatterbrain.” She chuckled. “Mom and dad are coming for a visit.”
My stomach churned. “What?”
“Yep. With dad's run for the governorship, he thought it'd be nice to get back to his hometown roots, so to speak. They'll have a TV crew here taking video of him with the community and stuff. We're gonna be on television! Isn't it exciting?”
I rubbed my tummy. “Yeah. Exciting. Uh, when is this happening?”
“He said they're aiming for the first week of July. Figure they're going to work the Independence Day angle or something.”
The first week of July? That was barely six days away!
“Why such short notice? That's not like them. They usually plan things months in advance, what with their tightly-packed schedules and all.”
She looked away. “Oh, well... It's kind of my fault for not letting you know sooner. Mom called and told me about their trip back in March.”
“They never told me.”
“Assumed I'd clue you in, probably. It's no big deal, is it? They'll be staying at a nice hotel in Austin, so it's not like they'll be infringing on your space.”
I felt like throttling her. This wasn't the first time they'd all pulled a stunt like this. Of course, mom went straight to Rachael without even bothering to call me.
Max was right about them and the way they treated me. Trouble was, raising hell about it wasn't an option. Which was worse – putting up with their nonsense to keep the farm, or speaking my mind and losing it all?
Yeah. The choice was quite clear.
“Anyway, gotta go, girl. You're making me even later for work than I already am.”
She peeled off down the road and whipped her car into traffic without even stopping. I went back inside, head swimming and stomach feeling rather sick.
After puking up what I'd had of the cheesecake – thank you, morning sickness – I sat at the kitchen table to think.
Just a few months ago, my life was going great. The farm was doing well, Rachael and I hadn't gotten into any nasty fights, and Rich was happily coming to visit me more frequently. I thought maybe we'd even get married one day.
The joke sure was on me, wasn't it?
Suddenly, I felt extremely alone. The only person who knew fully what I was going through was Max – the wise-ass playboy who'd strutted back into my life like the proud peacock that he was. Of all the men in the world who could have learned my secret, why him?
His name glowed in my phone's contacts list. I stared at it for a few seconds before selecting it.
The phone rang three times, then four. Nobody answered. Maybe I should just hang up. Why was I even calling him? This was so –
“Well, hey there, Anna. You're the last person I expected who'd call me this morning.”
His voice was rough and gravelly, as if he'd just woken up. I liked it way too much. Yep, if his freaking voice could turn me on, something truly was the matter with me.
“Why's that?” I asked him. “You expecting one of your dozen girlfriends instead?”
He laughed. I melted inside.
“I ain't got any girlfriends. Don't keep my conquests around long enough for that, y'know.”
“Friends with benefits, then. Whatever.”
But if he didn't keep them around long, then... What was I? Why wouldn't he talk about it, about that night? Did he regret it? Did I?
“My point is, I figured you were mad at me. If you called at all, thought it'd be to chew me out.” He paused. “It's not, is it? Because I have a limited tolerance for being yelled at.”
I went to the sofa and sank into the cushions. Something about his warm, sweet drawl made me feel better, if only for a little while. It was as if my problems didn't matter, only he and I did.
Of course, that was nonsense. “He and I” weren't anything at all. He was virtually a stranger, passing through town for a little while, and then he'd be gone. Everything would go back to the way it always had been.
I would still be alone, only with a baby this time. Too bad the chance of me finding love – me, a single mother with a newborn – were pretty darn slim.
“I didn't call to yell. I just needed someone to talk to.”
“Hmm. This guy isn't much good for listening, but I'll try.”
He'd try, he said. That shouldn't have meant anything, coming from him. Shouldn't have made me happy. But it did.
“My parents are coming to town. Dad's on some political campaign and he wants to come back here to make himself look good or something. I have no clue what he's thinking. Rachael dropped this bomb on me like, ten minutes ago, and she knew about it for months and never told me. She always pulls crap like this! And then I threw up my cheesecake because morning sickness sucks so bad.”
“Whoa there, girl. Take a breath.” He laughed softly. “What do you mean, your parents are coming?”
“Just what I said. Staying at a hotel, thank God. I couldn't handle them staying with me. But still... This is my worst nightmare. You know that.”
“So what are you gonna do?”
“I've asked myself that and have no answers. Maybe I'm just screwed.”
Suddenly, the prospect of losing the farm was a very real possibility. Now I knew what people meant by “that sinking feeling.” For sure, it did feel like I was sinking into a pit from which I couldn't possibly escape.
“Let's be rational for a moment.” He hummed some tune, then gasped. “Ah, I know. You could take off to Thailand on an impromptu trip to 'find yourself' – leaving just as your folks arrive, of course. You'll express terrible regret that you weren't able to visit with them during their stay.”
His plan was ridiculous, yet it actually kind of made sense. Made me smile, too.
“If I could leave this place so easily, I would. Too bad I don't have anyone to feed the chickens or check on the plants. And if my plants die, my profits do, too.”
“Can't you hire somebody?”
“With luck, one day I'll make enough to have employees. Until then, I'm owner, manager, and everything in between.”
He whistled. “You really are something else, Anna. I daresay you work even harder than me.”
“Well, I imagine it couldn't be too hard to beat you in that regard.”
“Hey, when I see something that needs doing, I step up to the plate. Ask anybody. Trey knows what a hard worker I am.”
“You don't have to try and convince me.”
He couldn't solve any of my problems, yeah, but... Talking to him made me feel good for a little while. Joking with him made me forget.
In the background, there was the noise of him starting coffee and the beep of something being microwaved. When I realized I wanted to be there making coffee with him, I knew something was really the matter with me.
“You know what you need?” He sipped his drink loudly in my ear. “You need to get totally shit-faced drunk.”
The man was either an idiot or forgetful as all hell. Either way, I burst into laughter.
“Did you forget the bun I have in the oven?”
“Mm? Oh, yeah.” Did he sound disappointed or was that just me? “Then I know what else you need instead. You need a good, hard screwing.”
I choked on my water. “E-excuse me?”
“You heard me. Nothing better to take your mind off those troubles like a romp in the sack.”
“And who would I be romping with?”
His voice lowered. “Don't tell me you put that night we shared out of your head.”
“You want to slee
p with me. Again.”
“What of it? Try and tell me you didn't enjoy it. I had you bent over that bathroom counter, moaning and trembling in my arms. In fact, I'm willing to wager I'm the best you ever had.”
I'd slept with Rich for months and never felt like this about him. Same thing for all the other guys I'd had sex with, although there weren't too many of those. But it didn't take a genius to realize something was very different about Max.
“I don't really like talking about this stuff. It's embarrassing.”
“Then don't talk. No need for it when we can let our actions do all the talking.”
I ached inside for him all over again. No – worse this time than the last.
Casual sex did help me ignore my messed-up life for a little while. Oddly, however, this was starting to seem more than casual to me.
I was developing feelings for Max, and that was the stupidest thing in the world any woman, conquest of his or not, could do.
“I'm not trying to push you. I know you're going through a hell of a lot. It's just...” He breathed deeply. “I enjoyed myself very much that night, and I'd be honored to have you again.”
“Why me, when you can go back to Waco and have any girl your heart desires?”
“Don't worry about them. Right now, it's you I want.”
I wanted to say yes so badly. But how could I, and still respect myself in the morning? I'd just gotten out of a relationship where the guy used me for sex and then bailed. I couldn't possibly handle getting attached to Max, just for the same thing to happen in the end.
“You only want to get laid,” I assured him.
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“I'm pregnant with another man's kid. That doesn't bother you?”
“Nah. You don't have much of a belly yet.”
His remark struck a nerve. “Wait. Are you saying if I did have a belly, that'd be reason not to have sex with me?”
“Well, uh...” He offered a weak laugh. “I mean, don't get offended or anything. I'm just not really into the pregnant look. It sort of freaks me out. Babies aren't really my thing, y'know.”
I don't know what it was, but I lost it right then. Rage billowed inside of me so fast and strong, I was sorely tempted to chuck the phone at the wall.