The Stainless Steel Rat Gets Drafted ssr-7

by Harry Harrison

  I waved Morton after me and strolled over to the nearest truck, stood in its shadow where I could see what was happening.

  “What’s happening,” Morton asked.

  “Good question. Big, secret, and very sudden meeting of some kind. See that car, all officers of field rank or better.”

  “We have got to get out of here!”

  “Why? Can you think of a safer place to be? We are part of the security here—so no questions asked. Except by me. Look at that one getting out of the limo! Must have nine stars on his shoulders. Big stuff tonight. And that officer behind him. Never saw that uniform before. Something special. ..”

  This officer turned about and I froze. A single silver skull on the shoulder of his gray-green coat. Another ~kull on the front of his cap.

  And beneath the black brim of the cap a familiar face.

  Captain Garth. Former captain of a Venian freighter. The man responsible for the death of my friend The Bishop.

  “Stay here,” I ordered Morton, and stepped out of the darkness as soon as Garth had turned away. I walked toward him as he approached the security check at the entrance. Passed right behind him as he reached the major who threw a very snappy salute. I could hear the major’s voice clearly as I passed and went on.

  “They are almost all inside. General Zennor.”

  TUB ffniMLMeeTBeL BATeerfi DBApren

  “<••

  “Report to me when the count is complete. Then seal this door tight.”

  I stamped on, checked the guards, stamped back to Morton’s side.

  “What was that all about?” he asked. “Forget about it. Nothing to do with you.” No longer a simple spacer captain. A general now. Probably always a general. Zennor. What was he up to? What was this entire army up to that he seemed to be ordering around? And how could I find out?

  When the major called I did not even hear him. Only when Morton lacked me in the ankle did I realize that I was the Captain Drem he was talking to. “Yes, sir. You want me, sir?”

  “Not falling asleep, are you, Drem?”

  “No, major, I was just going over the security in my head.”

  “Well go over it on your feet which will accomplish a lot more. I’ve stationed a man at every entrance to this theatre. Inspect them.”

  I saluted his back enthusiastically as he turned away. This might very well be the opportunity I was waiting for. “Lieutenant,” I called out. “Inspection tour. This way.” I rubbed my hands together happily as we walked around the theatre. “Morton, there is something important going on here and I mean to find out more about it.”

  “Don’t! Stay clear!”

  “Normally good advice. But this time I have to know what is happening, what he is up to. Did you see the uniforms? All senior officers. And I was ratted to earlier today that an invasion was being planned. It doesn’t take a great brain to figure out that this meeting has something to do with that invasion. But how do I get inside?” We were approaching aside entrance to the theatre and the MP there snapped to attention as soon as we appeared. I shook the locked door and scowled at him. “This door locked when you got here?”

  c““r * ,,

  Yes, sir.

  “Anyone trv to eet in?”

  “No, sir!”

  “What are your orders?”

  “Kill anyone who goes near the door.” He had his hand on his pistol butt.

  “Does that include your commanding officers?” I shouted at him, my mouth in his ear. He swayed and his hand dropped to his side. “No, captain.”

  “Then you are wrong and you could be shot for disobeying orders. An inspecting officer may try the door to see if it is locked. If an inspecting officer should attempt to go through the door he is to be instantly lolled. Is that clear?”

  “Very clear, sir.”

  “Then wipe the smile from your face. You seem to enjoy that thought too much.”

  “Yes, sir. I mean no, sir!”

  I growled a bit more and continued my inspection. We had almost circumnavigated the building when we reached a door in the rear. The guard there stood at attention. I shook the locked door and looked at the metal staircase beside it. “Where does this go to?” I asked. “Emergency exit.”

  “Is there a guard there?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Morton followed me up the clanging stairs. I stopped halfway and bent to remove the lockpick from my shoe. Morton opened his mouth but shut it again when I put my finger to my lips. I had to find out what was happening inside.

  We stamped upward and when we emerged on the balustraded corridor the guard there had his gun half out of the holster.

  “Do you intend to aim that weapon at me?” I asked coldly.

  “No, sir, sorry.” He put it away and snapped to attention. I put my face close to his.

  “Do you know it is a court-martial offense to point a weapon at an officer?”

  “I wasn’t, sir, no! I’m alone here, didn’t know who was coming…”

  “I don’t believe you, soldier. There is something wrong here. Stand over there by the lieutenant.”

  As he turned about I had the lockpick in the keyhole, delicately, turning it, clicking it. I stepped back away from it as he stopped and about-faced. “This door is locked?”

  “Yes, sir. Of course, it has to be. I am stationed here because of the door . – .”

  His voice wound down as I reached out and opened the door. Then closed it and wheeled to face him.

  “You are under arrest, soldier. Lieutenant—take this man to the major. Tell him what has happened. Return with the major at once. Move itJ”

  As they stamped away I inserted the lockpick yet again, twisted and pressed hard. Something snapped inside the lock. Only then did I put the lockpick away, open the door and slip inside. Closing it silently behind me.

  The small entranceway was sealed with dusty curtains. Light trickled between them; I bent forward and separated them a tiny amount.

  “. . . important that security be absolute until blastoff. You have your sealed orders, not to be opened until H hour. Rendezvous points are marked…”

  I knew that voice well. Once Garth, now Zennor. I parted the curtains just a bit more to make sure. There he

  . was, almost below me, pointing at the large chart behind him. I looked at the chart, then closed the curtains and stepped back.

  I was closing the door behind me when hurried footsteps sounded on the stairs. The major appeared, face red and strained.

  “What is happening?”

  “I’m not sure, sir. The guard that was stationed here had his weapon drawn, acted suspiciously. I tried this door. It was unlocked. That was when I sent for you, sir.”

  “It can’t be. I locked it myself.”

  It opened at his touch and his face whitened with shock. He pulled it quickly closed. “You haven’t been inside?”

  “Of course not, major. I have my orders. Perhaps the lock is defective.”

  “Yes, perhaps!” He fumbled out his ring of keys, found the right key and turned it in the lock. Metal grated. “It won’t lock!”

  “May I try it, sir?”

  I took the keys from his limp fingers and, naturally, had no better luck in sealing the door. When I handed back the keys I spoke in a low voice.

  “There will be an investigation, sir, trouble. Not fair to you. I’ll see that the guard t~ks to no one about this. Then I’ll get a welder, seal the door. Might be best, major, don’t you think so?”

  He started to speak, then closed his mouth, and thought instead. Looking from me to the door. Then he noticed the keys still in his hand. He put them in his packet and straightened his shoulders.

  “As you say, captain, nothing happened. No point in getting involved in investigations and suchlike. I’ll stay here. Send the welder at once.”

  “Very good, sir. I’ll take care of everything.” Morton was waiting at the foot of the stairs, the frightened MP standing beside him. I walked up to the man and gave
him a good glare.

  “I am going to be kind to you, soldier, although it goes against the grain. I think it might be wisest if we forgot all about this matter. What is your name?”

  “Pip7812, sir.”

  “All right. Pip, you can go back to your unit now. But—if I hear any rumors or loose talk about locks or such you will be dead within twenty-four hours. Understand?”

  “Locks, captain? I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Very good. Pip. Report to the sergeant. Tell him I need a welder here at once. Move.” He moved. “What was all that about?” Morton asked.

  “That was about warfare, my friend. I know now what they are up to here. I know all about their invasion plans.” Except—what could I possibly do about it?

  Chapter 15

  When the meeting broke up I saw to it that I was busily occupied away from the theatre entrance. It was a long chance that Zennor would recognize me from his Captain Garth days. But even a long chance is some chance, so I stayed out of sight. The troops formed up and marched away: with the emergency over they were not being coddled with effete transportation. The major had a car at his disposal but I turned downthis offer.

  “We could have used a lift,” Morton complained as the car moved away.

  “To where? Prison? The farther we are from authority the happier we should be.”

  “I’m tired.”

  “Who isn’t? Not to mention hungry. Let’s find a place to spend some ofGow’s money…”

  “Jim… Jim diGriz…”

  The sound was high-pitched, barely audible. Was I hearing things? I looked around but Morton -was the only person nearby.

  “Did you hear anything?”

  “No. Should I?”

  “Don’t know. A sudden ringing in my ears. But I swear I heard something.”

  “Maybe it was that moth on your shoulder talking to you. Ha-ha.”

  “Ha-ha yourself. What moth?”

  “See it there? Sitting on your captain’s bars. Should I brush it off?”

  “No. Leave it.”

  I turned my head and biinked and could just make out the moth. It flapped its wings and took off—and landed on my ear.

  “Co… aergropl. . . now.”

  “I can’t understand you.’L “That’s because I’m not talking.”

  “Shut up, Morton. I’m talking to the moth, not to you.” His jaw dropped and he moved quickly sideways. “Repeat message,” I said, ignoring him for the moment. “Airfield… go airfield.”

  “Right, go to the airfield. Understood. Over and out.” The moth fluttered away and I patted Morton on the shoulder; I could feel him shivering. “Come on, cheer up. And stop looking at me as though I were mad. The moth is a communication device, nothing more.”

  “Communicating with whom?”

  “The less you know, the less trouble you can get into.”

  “You really are a spy, aren’t you?”

  “Yes and no. I’m here on my own business, but certain parties are trying to get me involved in their business. Do you understand?”

  “No.”

  “Good. Let’s find the airfield. At a guess I would say that it is over there where all the lights are and the planes are landing. Coming with me?”

  “Do I have a choice? Is there any way of going back? Starting over again? I mean we can’t just sneak back into the barracks as if nothing happened, can we?”

  “You know that we can’t.”

  He sighed and nodded his head. “I know. But I’m just not cut out for the kind of thing that we have been doing. And where is it going to end?”

  A good question. With very little hope of an answer at the present time.

  “Truthfully—1 don’t know. But you have my word, Morton, because I got you into this. My first priority, before anything else, is to get you out of trouble and safe. Don’t ask how—because I don’t know yet.”

  “You can’t blame yourself. It was I who opened my mouth to that cagaling corporal. That’s where it started.” We had been walking while we talked, getting closer and closer to the airfield. The road that we were taking curved around the end of the field, separated from it by a high wire fence, well illuminated by bright lights. On the other side of the fence were grass and taxiways. A heavy freighter had just landed. It trundled by and we watched it go. When it had moved on a flock of black birds swooped down and began poking about in the grass. One of them unfolded its wings and flew toward the fence, landing on the other side. It cocked its head at me and spoke. “You are not alone.”

  “Obviously. He’s safe. Is that you, Varod.”

  “No. Captain Varod is offduty.”

  “Get him. I don’t talk to just any old crow.”

  “You will be contacted.”

  The bird turned about and opened its beak and spread its wings. It took off without flapping, making a whistling sound.

  “Jet powered,” I said. “Air intake in its mouth. Jet exhaust just where you imagine it might be. Let’s walk.” There was the whine of an approaching siren and a detector van came hurtling down the road. It slowed when it passed us, the dish aerial pointing in our direction, then moved on.

  “They are really efficient about spotting radio transmission,” I said.

  “Is that bird a radio?”

  “Among other things. It is remotely controlled and probably has some logic circuitry for hopping about and staying with the other birds. Only when it transmits back to base can it be detected.”

  “Where is the base?”

  “You don’t want to know. Or who is operating it. But I can assure you they mean no harm to this country.”

  “Why not?” He spoke with great agitation now. “Toll them to get to work and get rid of the military and their friends and start elections again. Do you know how long the present state of emergency has been going on? I’ll tell you, I checked. The so-called temporary emergency was declared over two hundred years ago. Some emergency! Tell your bird friends they can cause all the trouble they want as far as I’m concemecL”

  “I heard that,” the bird said in a deep voice, swooping out of the darkness and landing on my shoulder. “Our work is not to cause trouble. We labor only to…”

  “Varod, shut up,” I said. “We have limited communication time before the detectors show up again and let us not waste it with speeches. I have found out the invasion plans.”

  The bird cocked his eye at me and nodded. “Very good,” it said. “Details soonest, I am recording. Where is the invasion site?”

  “Not on this planet. They are readying a space fleet to attack another planet.”

  “You are sure of this?”

  “I eavesdropped. I’m sure.”

  “What is the name of the planet?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “I will return. I must get rid of the detector van.” The bird whistled into the sky leaving the stench of burned jet fuel behind. It did a neat barrel roll and landed on the top of a passing truck. Still broadcasting, I imagine, because a moment later the detector van hurtled by in pursuit of the truck. We walked on.

  “What’s this about an invasion? What did you find out?”

  “Just that. The one in charge is a General Zennor. I imagine it will happen pretty soon from the way that he was talking . . ,”

  There was a whistle and a blast of hot air: sharp claws dug into my scalp right through my cap as the bird landed on my head.

  “You must discover what planet is being invaded,” it said.

  “Find out yourself. Follow them when they take off.”

  “Impossible. The nearest spacer with detection gear is four days away. It may not get here in time.”

  “Tough. Ouch.”

  I rubbed my scalp where the bird had removed some hair when it took off, then bent to pick up my cap. We turned a corner just as another detector vehicle roared by behind us.

  “tet’s mix with the crowds,” I told Morion. “That detector is going to get suspicious
if it keeps finding us around every time it gets a reading.”

  “Could we mix with crowds that are eating and drinking?”

  “Good thinking. And I know just where to go,” I stepped off the curb as I said this and stood with my hand raised—directly in front of a truck. The driver hit the brake and squealed to a shivering halt in front of me. “Driving a little fast, aren’t we?” I snarled at the driver. “I didn’t see you, captain…”

  “And I know why you didn’t see me. Because one of your headlights is burnt out, that’s why. But I am feeling generous today. If you take me and my companion to the Officers’ Club I might forget I ever saw you.” Not that the driver had any choice. He dropped us in front of the club and roared away. We entered to sample the heady joys which, for the most part, were identical with the noncoms’ club except here there were waitresses. About a quarter of the tables were occupied: everyone else must still be on duty. Our steaks and beer appeared with exemplary speed and we dived at them with growls of hunger. We were almost finished when an officer appeared in the doorway and blew a whistle.

  “All right, fall out and fall in. Everyone. Emergency muster. Transportation outside. That means you,” he said pointing a mean finger in our direction.

  “We just came offduty, colonel,” I said. "You’re just going back on. And I see that you have eaten which I haven’t, so don’t cross me boy.”

  “Just leaving, sir!”

  Morton and I joined the rush, out the door and into the waiting bus. The colonel entered last and the driver pulled away,

  “Here is as much as I can tell you,” the colonel said, shouting so he could be heard above the engine’s noise. “Due to reasons that are no concern of yours our current plans have been moved forward. You are going into action and you are going at onc”” There were questions and cries of complaint which he shouted down.

  “Silence! I know you are all desk-driving fat-gutted base personnel—but you are also soldiers. Because of the acceleration in planning some combat officer transfers will not arrive in time. You officers have all just volunteered to take their place. You will get combat gear and you will join your troops and you will board the transport at once. We will all be away by midnight.”