by Cecilia Lane
Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe her innate curiosity. A firm tug on her heartstrings over their past and what she’d learned about him. The jumble of reasons killed the alarms blaring in her head and she slipped her hand into his.
Warmth spread through her fingers and palm. Nerves sparked to life as she stood mere inches from the man who’d been her greatest love and biggest hurt. Liv’s breath caught in her throat as she stared up into his eyes.
“Let’s go,” he said in a deep rumble.
Alex ushered her into the darkness and closed off the light of the kitchen. A low hum of bugs chirped in the night, quieted only for a split second by the call of an owl. Night in the mountains was nothing like the city.
Something primal scratched at her brain. She was alone in the night with a predator.
She turned her head slightly. “I can’t see anything.”
Firm hands landed on her shoulders. “Don’t worry.” His breath ruffling her hair. “I have you.”
And he did. Alex guided her forward slowly. His hands never strayed away from her shoulders. Even after her eyes adjusted to the darkness, he was right there, pushing her gently toward the barn. A dull thrum of loss sank her stomach when he dropped his hands and cracked open another door.
This time, he led her through the dark. His fingers wrapped around her wrist and he dragged her in his wake until light suddenly bloomed overhead.
They passed by horses sleeping where they stood, heads hanging low. One or two tossed their heads, but quieted when they went unacknowledged except for a quiet, “Hush.”
Alex didn’t stop until he reached a stall at the end of the row. He leaned against the half-door and nodded inside. “Meet Daisy.”
The same calf he’d threatened when she first drove up to the ranch was curled up inside. At the sound of his voice, she jerked her head up and blinked big, sleepy eyes at him. The moment quickly passed, and she sprang to her feet, bonking her head against the stall in an effort to get closer to Alex.
“Okay, okay,” he chuckled. He eased open the latch on the door and stepped into the stall. Daisy shoved her head into his hands and he scratched her ears. He lifted his eyes to Liv, a smile stretching his mouth wide. “You want to pet her?”
“She seems awfully attached.” He did, too. He was more relaxed than she’d seen him and his smile hadn’t dropped in the slightest.
“She’s an equal opportunity attention whore. Come on in.”
Liv let herself into the stall and shut the door behind her. Daisy twisted and turned around Alex, leaning into the spots he scratched. When he let up, the little calf turned her attention on Liv and knocked her legs hard enough to make her stumble.
“They’re like really big puppies,” Alex explained, eyes twinkling. “No painful bites, but you still have to watch for the tongue.”
As if to prove his point, Daisy’s tongue flicked out and wiped up his arm.
Liv laughed. She dropped to her knees and scratched the calf’s sides. Daisy huffed and leaned into her. When she glanced up, Alex was slipping out of the stall.
“Where are you going?” He shrugged and disappeared out of sight. Liv turned back to Daisy. “Guess it’s just you and me now, cow.”
Daisy pressed her nose into the crook of her neck and mooed. Liv couldn’t hide her grin if the world depended on it. The calf was absolutely adorable.
Alex returned a second later. “Here. She loves these.”
He dropped a few green pellets into her palm. Liv didn’t get a chance to see what they were before Daisy mooed again and stuffed her face into her hand. Liv laughed again at the rough tongue tickling her skin.
“Come on,” Alex said again. “I have some sanitizer in the tack room.”
“So you do have another woman in your life,” Liv teased as she pushed to her feet.
“Demanding wench used to keep me up all night, too.” He glanced down at her while she passed through the stall door. He slid the latch back in place. “Jealous?”
“Supremely. I love the smell of farm animal in the morning.”
He felt… warm. Open, almost. Definitely playful. Watching him with the calf thawed icy places in her heart.
That, in turn, made her sad and regretful. And yes, a little jealous. What did life on the ranch, with all those other people and even the dang cows, too, have that she didn’t?
Liv stayed quiet as she followed him into the room at the end of the aisle.
Saddles and other equipment were neatly stored. Even a few shiny trophies were displayed on a shelf high on one wall.
Alex pumped his hand under a dispenser attached next to the door. Liv followed the actions, noting the way the muscles of his arms tensed and flexed with each delicate movement. Oh, she could dig in her memory for long-ago anatomy lessons for the names of muscles and joints. But those weren’t the reasons why her heart suddenly pumped a healthy dose of fire in her veins.
She tore her eyes away and swallowed hard when he stepped aside. She foamed herself up with sanitizer and washed away grime picked up from petting Daisy. Too bad the questions and warring desire stuck with her.
Liv flicked a glance to Alex. He watched her, expressions shuttered. “Thank you for showing me your calf.”
“Least I could do. I didn’t want you thinking I’m some cheating asshole.”
No, he was just the kind of guy to leave without a word.
Oh, hell. The night had gone relatively well. And she couldn’t get Joss’s words out of her head. Maybe he’d open up to her. She desperately wanted that to be true because deep down and uncovered by a wash of drinks all night, she wanted to believe there was still something between them.
“Alex,” she started, voice barely above a whisper, “what happened?”
“Not tonight, Liv,” he sighed, sounding tired. His shoulders slumped, and he didn’t look at her. “Not now. Not while—”
He cut himself off and turned his back on her. A growl rattled in his throat. Liv stepped to his side and touched her fingertips to his jaw. Just that small pressure vibrated his growl through her and down her spine, where it settled hotly in her core.
So much pain. She’d seen the anger, but he’d kept the pain stashed away in their interactions. Her heart hurt for him. For who they used to be. “I want to know.”
His voice dropped to a pitch of pure gravel. “It’s my life.”
“It was ours.”
“I know.” He shoved his hands in his hair. “I’m working up to it, okay? It’s not a happy story. It still isn’t. There are things happening right now. Bad things, horrible things, and all I can think about is—”
Another growl. Another cutoff. He jerked his chin out of her reach and squeezed his eyes closed, but she stepped in front of him. “What?”
Alex’s nostrils flared and his eyes blazed green when he opened them. Heat burned in the sharp color. They were the eyes of a predator who’d found his prey. “You.”
Just like before, something snapped in him. Some thin thread of control couldn’t contain him and he struck, fast as a snake. Liv exhaled the moment he wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her flush with his body.
He was hard everywhere. Chest, abs. Her pulse thundered in her ears loud enough to block out the end of the world if it happened right at that moment. Maybe it did, and she just didn’t care.
“I thought I could be near you without touching. Or tasting.” Alex pressed his lips to the crook of her neck, grazing her with his teeth and sending a shiver down her spine. “You just smell too fucking good.”
“Wha—” she began, voice shaking. Liv licked her lips and tried again. “What do I smell like?”
“Tropical, like coconuts and flowers.” He skimmed his nose up her neck and nipped her earlobe. “Under all that? You smell hot and wet.”
Liv caught a sound in the back of her throat before it spilled past her lips as a helpless mewl. She shouldn’t have worried. Alex was there to devour the noise for her.
His han
ds cupped her cheeks, thumbs stroking over her cheekbones as his lips crashed over hers. He started slow and immediately cast it aside on a strangled note and a firm lick into her mouth. She met him stroke for stroke, tongue tangling with him like she needed him to live.
His hands dropped, but he didn’t stop touching her. He directed an inferno over her skin. Fingertips gliding up her arms sparked desire to life. Squeezes to her hips, her ass, boiled her blood. When he dipped under the hem of her shirt, fire heated her skin.
She arched into his touch when he finally cupped her breasts. A pleased growl sawed out of him when he peeled down the cups of her bra and rolled her hard nipples between his fingers. Each tweak and touch arrowed need straight to her core.
When his mouth wasn’t on hers, he licked and sucked a path down her neck and over her shoulder.
“Alex,” she groaned. His hand skimmed up her inner thigh. ‘No’ and ‘stop’ were the farthest words from her mind. ‘Please’ and ‘keep going’ were more accurate.
He pulled back suddenly, but she pressed her palms to his cheeks and forced him to look at her. His eyes blazed that bright, inhuman green. The shade wasn’t far off from his natural color, but the glow to them sent her pulse racing.
He spun her around and slammed her hands on the wall. His booted foot kicked her legs apart and then he was there, right where she needed him, palm grinding against her. Even through her jeans, maybe because of them, she quaked.
“This what you want?” he snarled in her ear. She felt every inch of him when he rocked his hips into her.
“Yes,” she moaned. She tossed her head back and rolled her hips against his trapped cock. More, she silently begged. Need more.
Alex ripped down her zipper and laid another biting, sucking kiss on her skin. “Christ, Liv. I can fucking taste how bad you want this.”
Holy hell. He’d been wild before, but this was another level. His growl vibrated right through her and dialed up her need up to eleven and broke off the damn knob.
And when his fingers slid into her, she was lost.
Pressure built steadily as he thrust in and out of her. His growls, too, heaved out of his chest as much as her breath heaved in hers. Fuck, but she loved that sound. The dirty, animalistic nature of it wound through her and shoved her ever closer to a release she knew would shatter her apart. Knew, and craved.
He nipped at her skin again, harder than before. Sharper. She sucked in a gasp at the sting of pain.
Alex snarled, long and low. The noise of an animal, not a lover.
Liv froze the same moment he reared back.
“No.” Strangled, smothered, garbled. All described the word that blasted out of Alex.
He stumbled back a step. A louder snarl left him, sounding just as terrifying as the last. Liv twisted around to see his eyes brighten to an impossible color before he stalked out of the room.
“Alex.” He didn’t stop. She followed him and tried to get his attention again. “Alex.”
Daisy mooed. The horses woke and tossed their heads, eyes rolling in fear. Some crowded away from the aisle, others neighed loudly and kicked the doors of their stalls.
Alex turned back one last time. His eyes still glowed, but there was nothing of the man left in them.
He strode into the night and let loose a savage roar.
Liv swayed with the cold rush of abandonment.
Hot and cold. Troubled beyond everything she figured. She couldn’t let her guard down around him.
Something wet chilled her skin. She dabbed at her neck and gasped when her fingers came away with a tiny smear of blood.
What in the damn hell?
More confused than ever, Liv straightened her clothes and started back toward the big house.
Chapter 14
Alex drummed his fingers against the hood of his truck as another car eased past. Still no sign of Liv and his bear was growing anxious. His skin felt tight and he itched to brush his fingers over her soft skin. Or give in to the press of fur against his brain and let the bear take control.
He gritted his teeth against the beast’s unease. He’d let him have too much control. Leaving Liv aching and needy was a fucking disaster. One he couldn’t repeat. One that deserved a full grovel with apologies made in words and actions.
If she ever showed up at her home again.
Another set of tires crunched on the gravel drive and he drummed his fingers against his truck again. Balls. He leaned back against the windshield and let his Stetson fall over his eyes, the picture of casually waiting. Nope, no inner animal tearing him apart here.
Fucker.
His bear prowled through his head and pressed against the walls Alex had carefully and sternly put into place.
Two more cars passed before one slowed and turned into the spot next to him. Liv’s tangy scent reached him even before she opened the door and his mouth twitched in an involuntary smile. Finally.
His bear backed down a tiny bit. Not enough for any actual peace, but enough to think clearly.
Alex stayed seated on the hood as she stepped out of her car. He wanted to jump down and go to her, press his nose against her skin, inhale that sweet scent until he died, but the angry glint in her eyes said he’d receive a much-deserved smack.
The idea held him back, but only just.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded.
Alex cracked a smile and shrugged. “Be glad I’m on two legs and didn’t show up on four and break through your back door.”
Liv’s jaw tightened. A tiny grumble worked its way out of her throat and she stomped away from him.
Fuck. “Liv, wait.” He hopped off the hood of his truck and stuffed his Stetson back on his head. Three strides later and he cut her off. “I fucked up.”
“You could say that again,” she muttered darkly and tried to slip past him.
“I fucked up,” he repeated and spun around to follow her, “and now I’m here to apologize. I also brought a peace offering.”
Liv paused with her keys dangling from her door. She pressed her forehead to the wood for a count of five before turning back to him, arms crossed over her chest. One raised eyebrow commanded him to speak and to make it fast because she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to deal with his bullshit.
It was a fair assessment. He didn’t want to deal with it most days, either.
“Since you weren’t at lunch the other day when I stopped by the lab, I assume you’re still a workaholic and you haven’t eaten yet today.” He held up a bag from Tommy’s Diner. “It’s not Hank’s Fun-n-Buns, but it’s infinitely better.”
“I’m a vegetarian.”
Alex’s face fell. Well, fuck. There went that plan.
Liv snorted back a giggle. Then she gave up and laughed, complete with a pointed finger. “You should see the look on your face. A vegetarian. Like I’d kicked your dog. Or calf.”
“You’re just busting my balls.” This woman... He should have known. He’d spotted her grilling a damn steak.
“You’re the shifter. Aren’t you supposed to be able to smell lies or something?” She turned back to her door and twisted the keys in the lock.
“Not when you have me so distracted.” Alex leaned against the wall next to her and quirked an eyebrow. “Are you going to invite me in?”
“Is that another deep, dark mystery of yours? You’re a secret vampire, too?”
“You know they don’t need invitations, right?”
Liv rolled her eyes and opened the door wide enough to slip inside. “Meet me around back. I’ll bring some plates.”
She didn’t trust him in her territory. He understood why and still hated it.
Licking his wounds, Alex rounded the house. The porch was exactly the same as before. Bite-sized living, though he didn’t judge. His own hut on the ranch wasn’t much bigger. The small grill still stood in one corner. A plastic table and two chairs pressed against the side of the cabin. He took a seat in one just as the back door opened.
/> Liv took a seat across from him, two plates in her hands. Her fingers twitched, but she didn’t make any move to pass him one. “So, this apology.”
An apology, and more. She needed to hear every last detail.
That was the real peace offering. The food and apology for getting her worked up for nothing got him through the door. Or rather, on the porch. But there would be no moving forward until she knew what happened in the past and why he was still a fucking mess that’d hurt her all over again.
His bear shoved forward with a rough growl. Alex couldn’t tell what bothered him the most—thinking about the circumstances of his arrival or hurting Liv.
Alex leaned back in the flimsy chair. “I don’t know if I can get through this without needing to shift. It’s not you,” he quickly added.
“Sure seemed like me the other night.”
“That was you. But only because you’re hot as fuck.” She sucked down a sharp breath and he pushed on. “I didn’t lie, Liv. I can’t get you out of my head. Haven’t since you showed back up. Getting close to you isn’t enough. I want more. I need it. And not in a whiny, desperate sort of way. I wake up craving you and fight through the rest of the day hard as a fucking diamond.”
Her pupils blew wide and her pulse kicked up a notch. Calmly, like he couldn’t smell the hint of arousal mixing in her scent, Liv set the extra plate in front of him with a clink. “So explain why you left me in the middle—”
“Of the best orgasm of your life?” he smirked.
“If you’re not going to take this seriously...” Liv pushed to her feet, gathering her plates up again.
“Liv.” Alex shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Looking over the back yard didn’t do shit to calm him. Whoever said nature was a positive influence on one’s mood was a fucking moron. He wanted to tear apart the bag of food, the stupid plastic chair, the table and porch and entire house, while he was at it.
He inhaled and exhaled. Liv’s scent rolled over him like a balm. He had no right to that, not after everything he’d done. “I went camping while you were away, just like we planned. Nothing seemed wrong, until it was. A bear came out of nowhere and attacked.”