by Cecilia Lane
Liv sat back in her chair. “But it wasn’t just any bear.”
“No.” Alex swallowed hard. “Not just any bear.”
The minutes, hours, and days piled up in painful memories. He could still feel fire burning through his limbs. The wounds on his arms and legs and chest closed up and sealed his blood back inside him. The sick, stuttering beat of his heart steadied out, grew stronger.
A low growl rattled in his throat. Liv reached forward and squeezed his hand.
She had no reason to trust him or believe him. Support? He’d chucked that as far away as possible and followed it up with a flaming arrow. The good that had existed between them was long gone and he was an idiot to expect otherwise.
And yet... her hand rested on his and offered him a lifeline while his story threatened to pull him under.
“I still don’t know why he targeted me. I didn’t know what was happening. This was all before shifters and everything else weird and spooky came out of the coffin, so to speak. One minute I thought I was dying, and then everything hurt. I couldn’t control my body. I felt like one of those firecrackers you light on fire and the ashes burn like some wiggling worm. That first shift was fucking agony. And then I was a bear.”
Huge paws. Claws made for death. His first stumbling steps had been accompanied by the desire to rip and tear into anything that moved. Then he’d caught that bastard’s scent. Some deep part of him knew and tried to process the reality. Bitten and changed. Made anew. All at some fucker’s whim.
Alex clenched his fists and forced words out of his mouth. “I thought I’d gone crazy. You have to understand that. Nothing prepared me for that moment. I was even less prepared for the fury that came with it. The beast in me has an overwhelming drive to fight and bleed, and it started the moment we caught the scent of the rogue that changed me. Days gone at that point, but my new drives didn’t give a fuck. All the bear wanted was to find him and kill him. We ran and ran until my paws bled and it hurt to breathe. That was when I took back control and forced a shift back into human form. Naked, starving, feeling raw all over my body and mind. It took another day to find my way back to my truck.”
“And that’s why you left,” she said finally.
Pity clouded her stormy eyes. She was right and wrong. He had to leave because he couldn’t control himself. Because the same instincts that rode him hard when he got his hands on her again had been there from the start. He just didn’t know what they were at the time.
Mate.
He squinted at the sky and a pair of birds flying together above the trees. “I don’t think I ever really left.”
“It sure felt like you did. Every second felt like you were trying to hurt me as much as possible.”
“I know. I was.” He turned back to her. Hard eyes watched him, but she hugged her knees close to her chest. Vulnerable, and not. She’d changed since they’d been together. Hardened herself, just like he’d tried to do. He thought he’d succeeded until she launched herself back into his life. “I didn’t trust myself with you. You were the most precious thing to me, Liv. I’d rather die than make you go through what happened to me. I couldn’t stick around and hurt you, but I did it anyway by running without any explanation.”
Liv cocked her head to the side. “I want to see your bear.”
Alex hesitated. His bear puffed out his chest and fucking preened. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She unfolded from her chair and stepped closer. Her fingers trailed across his collarbone. “I don’t think you’ll hurt me.”
He caught her wrist and forced her back a step. Her tangy scent clogged up his nose and threatened to overwhelm his resistance. “I will,” he growled.
Liv shook her head, hair swaying with her dismissal. “You won’t. I trust that much.”
“But you don’t trust me.”
“No.” She lifted her chin. “Not entirely. Not yet.”
“I wanted to bite you, Liv.” Then. Now. The last time he had her in his arms. Her choice which she picked. They were all true.
Grey eyes blinked at him and a small smile played out across her features. Her lips twitched, red flushed over her skin. Caution and confusion entered her scent. Her eyes, too, churned with the complicated emotions.
Quietly, she said, “I know what that means.”
“Then you know why this is a bad idea. If I lose control…”
“You’re still here.”
“You haven’t told me to leave.” He brushed his thumb over her knuckles. So close. He could drag her down into his lap and kiss her senseless.
He’d just wanted to protect her and he fell for her again. Or opened that door in his mind he’d locked her behind. One thing was for certain, he couldn’t hold her close and keep himself apart.
Maybe Ethan was right. Maybe he needed to stop fighting and learn to let himself go.
His bear growled, soft and low.
Liv dragged her fingers over his cheek and he leaned into the touch. With her, he didn’t feel like he dove headfirst toward the ground. She slowed his fall to a controlled landing.
That was the crack his bear needed. The beast shoved against all his defenses and spilled through on a wave of bad ideas and recklessness.
“Rules, Liv.” Alex tucked a finger under her chin and forced a look. “If I tell you to go inside and lock the door, you do it.”
She nodded.
Alex pushed to his feet. So close, he brushed against her in more than one spot. Fire licked at him from the inside out.
“Stand still. Don’t run. The bear just might give chase.” He hauled his shirt over his head. “Last chance, Olivia.”
She dipped her chin, eyes fierce. “Show me.”
Chapter 15
Liv held her breath as Alex stepped away. He tossed the shirt in his hands at her, then went for his boots. Those landed with twin thuds at her feet. Faint, silvery scars crossed over his arms, a few on his chest.
Her fingers dug into his shirt the moment he went for the button of his jeans.
“Hoping for something more, baby?” he asked with a smirk.
“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” she replied coolly and definitely without a hitch in her voice.
Alex’s grin widened and he popped the button. The zipper came next, then he shoved the fabric over his hips. Nothing else existed between him and the whole wide world.
Liv struggled to keep her eyes locked on his face. Tried, and failed.
Once again, she was struck with just how damn good he looked. She had no way to estimate just how much muscle he’d packed on in the six years since they were involved, but she could appreciate the end result. Lines marked the slabs on his stomach and led straight down to the prize jutting from his body. Heat curled down her spine and straight to her core at the sight of his long, thick cock standing at attention.
“I thought you wanted to see my bear,” Alex mused, straightening to his full height and lacing his fingers behind his head.
Liv jerked her gaze to his face. Red flushed over her cheeks. Busted. One thousand percent, no salvaging the situation, busted. She crossed her arms over her chest and deflected. “Are you going to shift, or just stand there?”
A growl reached her ears even over the cracks and painful pops. She almost looked away before steeling herself. Alex went through the shift anytime he and his bear switched places. The first time had been agony, he said, and she doubted the rest were picnics in the park. The least she could do was acknowledge the process.
Finally, a huge bear stood in front of her.
The beast was huge. Black fur without an ounce of color covered him.
She took a step forward, but he growled and her foot slid back into place. Don’t run. The bear might give chase.
That applied to getting nearer, it seemed.
The bear moved. Pure power scratched at the primal side of her brain. She knew Alex was inside there, somewhere, but her instincts still screamed at her to run and hide from the p
aws that looked bigger than her head. Each claw looked like it’d stretch the length of her hand easily. She’d be a soft target if he chose to use them against her.
He wouldn’t, right?
The bear continued his forward momentum and shoved his head into her stomach. Liv stumbled back a step. The bear jerked his attention to her, small growl rattling in his throat and worry lighting up his glowing eyes, but she only laughed.
“You’re stronger than I expected,” she explained.
Slowly, she reached forward and stroked an ear. Soft fur passed between her fingers before he shook his head and moved out of her grasp. “Ticklish?”
Alex huffed.
He continued to move around her. Slowly, she relaxed. Liv trailed a hand down his back and over his sides. She pressed a palm against his shoulder and felt the muscles underneath bunch and contract with each step. But he was the one taking a spin around her and she felt just as scrutinized as the attention she gave him.
This was Alex. Monster under his skin, but still a playful scoundrel. Mouthy fighter who just didn’t know when to quit.
She understood why he left. The pain still stung, but not as bad as before. She couldn’t imagine turning into such a creature with no prior knowledge. Then to contend with all the senses and urges that came with the animal?
Strong man. Impressive. Asshole, but one she felt pride for. He didn’t let that incident destroy him. He fought to stay on his feet. That she wasn’t a witness didn’t negate the accomplishment.
“You survived,” she murmured with pride.
His growl turned ragged and choked. His shape shimmered as he changed back from beast to man.
Then he was on two feet and striding right for her.
“Alex.” His name was the only word she managed to speak before his mouth collided with her own. The shocked gasp turned into a harsh kiss of tangling tongues and biting teeth. Wild, just like him. Just like his bear.
That kiss was his apology for everything. For hurting her in the past. For throwing up walls at every turn. They still had miles to go, but there was a whisper of hope on his tongue and in the fingers he tangled in her hair. She wanted to believe, not just in him, but in them together.
Alex pulled back, but only barely. Their breath mingled as they both sucked down air. “Invite me inside, Liv,” he said in a low, gravelly voice. “I need to hear you say it.”
She thought of making some crack about him being a secret vampire-bear hybrid and discarded it immediately. Her blood pumped loud and fast. Her heart and stomach and head and every inch of her demanded to feel more of the sexy, naked man holding her close. Jokes were for later when the hard edge of desperation was worn down.
She took a step backward, tugging him as she went. “Alex. Come inside with me. I need this.”
She didn’t make it more than three steps inside before the door slammed shut and his hands landed on her hips. He dragged her close to his body and just like last time, she could feel every inch of his chiseled frame pressing against her. Her skin crackled with energy, nerve endings zinging as his hands seemed to touch her everywhere all at once. Liv threw an arm over his shoulder just as he bit down on her neck.
Alex walked her forward, then spun her around and lifted her to the counter.
The air felt heavy around him and she had to work to inhale her next breath. Worth it, because his delicious earthy and manly scent was strong enough to almost taste. Liv leaned forward and pressed her lips to his collarbone.
The growl in his throat stilled her. The feel of it vibrated right to her middle. She wanted more. More of that noise, more of his hands on her body, more teeth and snarls and glowing eyes.
More him.
Liv drew a ragged breath and on her exhale, his mouth found hers for another hungry kiss.
She worked shaky fingers down the front of her blouse. When the last one came undone, Alex shoved the sides apart. He stripped her of her shirt and bra in what felt like a microsecond.
His hands skimmed up her sides and cupped her breasts, hot fingers deftly rolling her nipples between his fingers. Liv arched into him when he bent to lick and suck first one breast, then the other.
He left a trail of hot desire across her skin. Over her breasts, down her ribs. He circled her navel and teased under the waist of her slacks. She was a keening, mewling mess by the time he worked them open and helped her shimmy free.
“Fuck, Liv,” he growled and dropped to his knees. He swept his eyes from her toes to her face, then settled right at her middle. He licked his lips. “Been wanting to do this.”
He bent his head. His tongue gently caressed her. Decadent delight shivered down her spine and Liv moaned. She planted her hands on the counter to ground her to something as she watched Alex’s move between her thighs.
Then his fingers slid inside her. She held her breath for a second. Another. He rolled his eyes up to hers, the green churning with the glow of his inner beast.
He wasn’t running.
The slow deliberation of his pumping fingers built pressure inside her. She couldn’t ignore the fire or waste any energy on what ifs or events of the past. They were there, now, and he strung her pleasure out like he was born to it. The years between them were knocked away, the dust cleared, and he touched her the way she needed.
He overwhelmed her. Made her head spin. His fingers pumped into her again and again, while his tongue licked and sucked and stroked her. Alex didn’t tease. He mercilessly, completely owned her.
His ownership came with a price: her utter pleasure.
His groans mingled and mixed with her soft cries and breathy gasps. The world melted away. There was no kitchen with a coffee mug in the sink. No living room at her back. No window overlooking the back yard, hell, no back yard to speak of. There was only Alex and his fingers and tongue.
Her stomach hollowed on her sharp breaths and her vision darkened at the edges. Liv’s fingers tingled and her toes curled. Right there, right on the edge, she knew the moment was important. As important as the man giving it to her.
Liv cried out and twisted her fingers in his hair. She rode the wave of pure bliss as he brought her steadily back down to reality.
Low growl rumbling in his chest, Alex eased his fingers out of her and licked them clean. Glowing green eyes filled with utter male smugness as he rolled back to his feet.
He settled between her thighs again, thick cock resting right at her entrance. Liv swallowed back her desperate pant of need.
“I’ve missed hearing you come,” he said against the shell of her ear. “You don’t know how many times just thinking about it has gotten me off.”
She took two tries to make her voice work. “You’ve thought about me?” Warmth filled her core at the idea.
Alex nipped at her earlobe. “Hard to forget perfection.”
Liv lost her retort when he swiped his thumb against her clit. Her body jolted in response, liquid heat rushing to meet whatever he’d do to her next.
Perfection. He’d said the word. It echoed and rattled around in his head, bouncing from one corner of his mind to the other. His bear rumbled his agreement and his displeasure.
Alex buried his nose into the crook of Liv’s neck and eased his fingers back into her. Her silky smooth muscles tightened around him. Her breath sounded loud in his ears and his cock twitched in response.
Perfection. He meant every fucking syllable.
But his bear wanted more. Needed more. The tiny bite he’d given her before when he lost control wasn’t a complete bond. His scent was under her skin, but it’d fade away in days. Then anyone brave enough to try could swoop in and not know she belonged to him.
He had to make that connection complete. His gums ached with the press of fangs.
Alex froze mid-stroke.
He couldn’t tie her to him. Not now. Maybe not ever. He’d survived, just like she said. But surviving was different from living. He was on a path with no future and no mate. He had to fix himself and all the
shit that followed him before he could bond her to him.
His bear slashed at his insides and raged over the denial of their mate. She was right there, ready and willing. He just had to take—
No. No taking. Not from Liv. He couldn’t hurt her. Biting would be hurting. She didn’t know his world as well as she thought. She’d leave if he misbehaved, and neither he nor the bear wanted that. They needed her. Wanted to protect her. There was no doing that if she was mated without understanding everything.
His bear roared, but the press of fangs faded to something manageable.
“Move,” Liv ordered on a low groan.
So he did. He wrapped her legs around his waist and twisted to pin her to the nearest wall with one hand above her head.
Gorgeous woman. Sexy as hell. And stretched out all for him.
Short black hair framed her face. The rosy color on her cheeks spread down her neck, more prominent where his teeth had grazed her skin. Her scent filled his nose, sank into his lungs, and threatened to drown him. At least he’d die a happy man.
She leaned forward and nipped his lip. “I swear to all that’s holy, if you leave me with blue balls again—”
Fuck, she was everything.
Alex cut her off with a roll of his hips. Wet heat coated his length. The teeth she’d used on him caught her lower lip in a strangled cry.
She threw her head back, but her eyes stayed locked on him. Emotion swirled in the stormy grey. So expressive. So damn beautiful.
He needed to see the hurt be replaced with anything else.
Glassy, hot need would do just fine.
He held her spread open and slid back enough to ease his way inside her in slow, controlled thrusts. Her fingernails dragged over his shoulders and down his chest. The soft, greedy pants of breath heaving in her chest only encouraged him more. He wanted her desperate, and holy fuck, she was right there.
Alex slid home the last inch with a strangled groan. He leaned his forehead against Liv’s, their eyes meeting and breath mingling. Her inner muscles fluttered around him as she adjusted to his size. Fuck, it was hard to stay still. He wanted to slam into her again and again until he felt her grip him as tightly as she’d done his fingers.